He sighs, long and hard. “I said no, Ruby. Twice now.”
I meet his sideways stare. “We can go after school today. You can shift there.”
Ezra’s eyes change, narrowing as they turn deep violet. “Which of the words I just used do you not understand?”
“All of them,” I say as deadpan as I can.
“You have that much faith in me?”
“Yes. Except it’s not faith exactly. Faith is like stabbing at something in the dark. It isn’t the same as knowing. And I know I can count on you.”
Ezra leans sideways and touches my chin, tilting my face upward as he pulls in front of the high school. “Fine, Ruby.” He shakes his head as he leans in to kiss me. Under his breath, he grumbles, “Talk about a double whammy.”
“We need to know.” I kiss his cheek reassuringly before hopping out. “It’s a good thing.”
Though I’m nearly three full periods late, it’s hard to say goodbye. Still, I let him go and beeline into the school, running down the hall to my classroom. When I walk into French class and Racine sees me, she does a double take before giving me the stink eye. I sit down, and she leans sideways over her desk.
“Later, Ray,” I whisper into the aisle. “I’ll tell you at lunch.”
Racine nods curtly and turns back toward the teacher. But by the time lunch rolls around, she’s a crazed beast. Seconds after I walk into the lunchroom, she grabs my arm and pulls me out into the hall.
“Well?” she shouts loudly enough for everyone inside the cafeteria to hear. “Tell me!”
“Everything’s fine,” I assure her.
“Fine. Yeah, you already said that. Twice. Last night and this morning, both times on the phone from Ezra’s bedroom.”
“Okay, everything’s great. Calm down.”
“First, I can’t believe you spent the night. Second, you called this morning and said you’d be here by second period. And then you weren’t. I was freaking out.”
I feign stupidity, shrugging. “Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’? A week ago, Ezra was MIA, and you were all heartbroken and hating him. Then he—poof—shows up looking completely hot, and you say you think he might be some kind of super-freak or something.” She rolls her eyes at me. “It should be a no-brainer, Ruby. Things are not fine.”
“Are you sure you’re not my mom reincarnated?” One day, Racine is going to make a seriously formidable mother.
“Did he explain everything?”
“Sort of. I mean, it’s kind of mind-boggling. I can’t say it all makes sense.”
“Jesus.” She crosses herself. “And his face?”
“Surgery,” I answer without really thinking.
As soon as it tumbles out, I know it’s for the best. Gossip around town is both crazy and rampant. People need a story to hang their hats on, and surgery makes more sense than shape-shifting or an enchanted ruin.
“What?” she screeches.
“He had some kind of fancy plastic surgery, really cutting edge. That’s why he left. He didn’t tell me because he wasn’t sure it’d work out. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“Bullshit!” She grabs my arm, stopping me cold.
I shrug, trying my best to look clueless. “It’s true.”
“I don’t believe it.”
I shoot her a stern look, shaking my head. “It’s true enough, Ray.”
Racine looks completely cynical, plus a little peeved.
“Look. It’s crazy. Really crazy. I admit it. But it’s complicated. And I promise I’ll do my best to explain. Just not now, all right?”
“But you will tell me about his ‘surgery’ later,” she insists.
“Later—in private. If you promise it stays between us.”
“Fine,” she nods, pulling me into the lunch line. “I’ll run with surgery if that’s what you want. But you better work on your delivery. You’re like cellophane. Only more transparent.”
I squeeze her arm. “Thank you.”
“So then are you still together together? Because people are going to ask.”
“Yes.”
She bounces in place impatiently, shifting two different kinds of Jell-O around on her tray. “He knows how much he hurt you, doesn’t he?”
“He knows. But he couldn’t exactly help it. And we all make mistakes, right? He’s only human.”
She raises her eyebrows high on her forehead. “Is he?”
“Yes,” I answer adamantly, glancing toward Las Gallinas at our table across the cafeteria. “Way more than Marta, for instance.”
Racine giggles. “Touché.”
Lunch tray in hand, I twine my arm in Racine’s, pulling her toward our table, determined to act as if the last couple of weeks have been nothing more than a small bump in the road. Lunch ends, and the last two periods of the day crawl by. I can’t concentrate, probably because all I can think about is visiting the ruin and seeing Ezra shift. I’m not sure which is scarier, but just thinking about both injures my brain.
After school, I huddle on the front quad with Las Gallinas, pretending like the rest of them to be interested in the conversation we started over lunch about winter break. We’re all really just waiting for Ezra to arrive, but I play along, feigning cluelessness, determined to downplay his sudden metamorphosis back to perfect.
“Surgery, huh?” Marta tsks when Ezra pulls into the parking lot.
“I can’t believe how good it came out.” Ashley gapes, letting her mouth fall open as he parks and walks toward us. “I mean, he looks almost exactly the same. It must have cost a freaking fortune.”
“Modern technology.” Racine shoots me a look, smiling slyly. “Imagine what they’ll be able to do in twenty years.”
Marta ogles Ezra shamelessly. “Whatever he did, damn, he’s hot. Good luck keeping him.”
Ezra stops on the sidewalk about twenty feet from our huddle and winks, amplifying his already crackling wattage. He stands there with his hands in his pockets, tilting his head to the side while he waits, preening.
“He’s still a cocky SOB, isn’t he?” Ashley asks.
“A little.” I smile.
Rushing out my goodbyes, I run over to him and throw my arms around his neck. Ezra lifts me off my feet, holding me close before planting a kiss on my lips. “You ready?” he asks, reluctantly unlatching my arms.
“Yes. But I’m nervous,” I admit. Though ‘nervous’ is a gross understatement.
Ezra drives us up to my house. After going inside to exchange my school backpack for my hiking gear and listening to Ezra tick off all the reasons hiking to the ruin is a bad idea, we start walking up the mountain.
“Read my mind,” I tell him as we trudge over dirt and dried twigs.
“I thought you told me not to.”
“Just do it.”
He closes his eyes and smiles, shaking his head curiously. “Do you really believe in forever?”
“With you?” I nod. “It seems possible.”
Ezra stops and kisses me. My head spins, and when he finally pulls away, whispering, “Could you do it? Live here in the forest until we’re both old and infirm and you have to wheel me everywhere?” it feels like his lips and my lips are still connected.
I laugh to mask the small earthquake inside me. “I don’t know. Ask me again after everything.”
Ezra nudges me gently. He winds an arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side, locking us together at the hip.
“Should I do it here?” he asks.
“You don’t want to wait until the ruin?”
“I don’t even want to go to the ruin.”
“Then, yes.” I exhale. “If you’re ready.”
His eyes change, turning a brilliant buttercup as he stares into mine, searching. They flicker to periwinkle, then settle on lilac. “Okay,” he says smoothly. “Step back.”
I break out of his arms. “Good kitty,” I tease.
In my head, I’ve already played out a bazillion different mind
-blowing scenarios. But none of them are like how it happens. For a second, he looks like a blur—like a vibrating blur. Then I blink. And quicker than I can gasp, a huge mountain lion stands at my side, looking me almost in the eye.
I screech and jump, tripping on a root that sends me flailing backward. My backpack hits the ground, and my breath escapes my body. Filling my chest to capacity, I sputter, looking up to find him standing over me. Ezra growls, sending a rumble forward from the hollow of his neck. When he opens his mouth, dipping his head toward mine, a set of very large, very sharp teeth make my acquaintance. I reach out and touch an incisor, gently pushing a finger against its tip.
“Don’t bite me,” I warble.
Ezra’s eyes contract; he blinks and the long golden whiskers above his eyes flutter, tickling my forehead. When I giggle, he rubs a furry jowl against my cheek.
“You know I almost peed in my pants when you cornered me near my house. You’re lucky I didn’t shank you.”
Ezra steps back and sits down on his haunches, looking as immensely pleased as I imagine a mountain lion can. He flares his coral nose, sending his whiskers upward.
Sitting up, I lean into his golden fur, running a hand over his soft, bristly head and ears. I throw my arms around his thick neck and hug his sturdy, warm body. At first, I can’t wrap my arms all the way around him. Then my arms suddenly encircle him completely.
“Jesus! You are fast,” I yelp.
“Which me do you like better?”
“The one who won’t eat me.” His eyes are like shiny objects, mesmerizing. I stare, watching him watch me. “I’m completely speechless.”
Ezra kisses me hard, pressing me back against the ground. “The trouble with changing around you is how much lion you bring out.”
I bite my lip, holding back a smile. Energy bounces between our bodies. His skin is charged, giving off small shocks when I touch him. “You’re like a spark. You know? Like when you touch something electric and it runs through your body.”
“That’s exactly it,” he whispers gruffly.
“Seriously? You’re shocking me?”
“It’ll die down in a couple of minutes.”
“That’s wicked. Have you ever …”
“Ever?”
“You know.”
Ezra grins at me, then unzips my jacket. He runs a hand underneath my shirt, over my bare skin, making me crazy. “Not right afterward.”
The air outside feels cool against my body. In contrast, Ezra is warm and galvanized; electricity bounces between his fingers and my stomach. For a moment, I feel him, and only him, as though we’ve merged molecularly.
“Why do you do that?” I shiver.
He brushes hair off my face with his free hand. “Everything inside me speeds up when I shift, all my cells, every process. I slough off electricity until everything slows down. I often have to stay outside for a few minutes afterward or I short everything.”
“Really?” I giggle. “Does it hurt?”
“Like being mildly electrocuted or burned.” He kisses my nose.
I move my head against the scrubby ground, searching the sky while my mind turns. “How do you get used to something like that?”
“How do you get used to anything?”
I stare at him, feeling like a child, trying not to sniffle. My emotions are all over the place.
Ezra chuckles, stroking my cheek with electric hands. “Did you know there used to be animals that could shift into humans? They ran around naked until they found pants or an outfit to steal, at least that’s what my grandfather told me. He called them Foes with No Clothes. Back in the day, people hung cloth outside their dwellings or wore cloth bands around their wrists to keep the Foes mollified.”
I sock him in the shoulder playfully. “You’re messing with me.”
“Am I?” Ezra grins secretively. “Supposedly, before the portal was restricted millenniums ago, all sorts of creatures came here from Ottomundo. Then, I guess, they all had their purpose.”
Ezra makes my head hurt. Every time he opens his mouth, the world suddenly seems so much more complicated. “What about vampires and werewolves?”
He laughs out loud. “Werewolves, maybe. And Skin-walkers. But vampires? I doubt it. The Ancients gave humans gifts because we weren’t monsters. They honored goodness and rewarded it with certain freedoms, like having an animal spirit. Believe me, if the Ancients wanted us to know real evil, we would.”
Ezra kisses me again, letting his fingers linger on my stomach until the electric sensation peters out. He doesn’t say another word, but his eyes never leave mine. We lie together under thick, defined clouds, watching each other as the sun skirts across the horizon. My skull is so numb I barely notice the little pebbles and pinecones that have found shelter beneath my head. But I’m more comfortable on the ground beside him than I’ve been anywhere else for a very long time. And because of it, more hesitant than I was earlier to visit the ruin.
“Want to shift again and go up to the plateau now?” I ask, trying to re-talk myself into going up there.
He sits up. “No.”
“You sure, Ez? You could lead the way. I’ll just follow.”
He gives me a look. “You’re not a follower, Ruby.”
After a few awkward moments, Ezra helps me up off the ground and wraps one of my arms around his waist, securing it with a broad hand. He holds onto me tightly, as if I may break away. Between the trees, under an open parcel of sky, his beautiful face glows, rivaling his emotive eyes.
“Ruby,” he says earnestly. “Before we get there, I want to ask you something. I think you should go to Stanford. But if you do stick around after graduation, will you consider moving in with me?”
I open my mouth to answer and end up stammering.
“Cat got your tongue?” he whispers.
I take a deep breath and start again.
“You don’t want to?” He cuts me off. “No, I mean, I understand. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Please be quiet,” I tell him, pausing when my throat catches. “I was going to say that you don’t have to ask me to live with you because I want to stay. I don’t expect …” I let my voice trail off, holding my breath. “I want to, Ez. Someday. But suddenly everything’s different from what I thought it was. I need to know who I am. And I want to know this you better. Plus, I don’t like thinking you’re asking because you feel like you’re stuck with me.”
Ezra’s laugh startles me. It goes deep and shakes his body. “Are you kidding?”
“No.” I swallow. “Don’t make fun of me. Just tell me you’ll wait until I’m ready.”
Ezra drops down on one knee like he might propose, looking up into my face. “Ruby Brooks,” he starts, “I want you to move in with me. And I will most definitely wait until you’re ready.”
I pull him up and lock my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. When he lifts me off my feet, I whisper, “But you get to tell Liddy.”
He laughs near my ear. “Always negotiating.”
“If I tell her, she’ll kill me. Then this conversation will be pointless.”
“All right.” Ezra’s voice hums with both apprehension and affection. “If the ruin doesn’t change your mind, it’s a deal.”
Twenty-Seven
The Hero Never Dies
We hike the rest of the way to the ruin, winding through bare brush and swatches of trees to the plateau. At the edge of the clearing, Ezra stops and shakes his head at me. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
Dumping my backpack, I sit down on a patch of dry pine needles. “I’m starting to wonder why you let me talk you into this.”
He drops down beside me. “Should we go back?”
I grab his forearm, digging my nails into it to steady both of us. “No.”
Beneath the setting sun, the ruin blazes, sparkling like wet gold. My heart slows while I watch a wall shift from yellow to orange, highlighting a circle of micaceous stars like Ezra’s Peco
s Circle. “Look.” I point at it. “It’s sparkling.”
Ezra’s smile looks strained. “Did you know that’s why Coronado thought he’d found Cibola in New Mexico?”
“You mean one of the Seven Cities of Gold?”
“Yes,” he nods. “It’s the micaceous clay. It makes everything glitter.”
Ezra stands up and walks to the ruin. He runs his fingers over an eroded patch of adobe, scratching at its pebbly surface. Overhead, the sun turns the long clouds languishing in the low sky to scarlet ribbons. I sigh, looking upward. “Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?”
He turns sideways, examining my face. “Yes,” he answers softly.
I blush, whispering, “Read my mind.”
“Now it’s a novelty?”
“Just do it.”
“You could?” He sounds puzzled. “Oh …”
“You asked me a question before you shifted. I don’t need to visit my mom first. I know the answer. It’s yes, I could stay with you until we’re old and infirm and I have to wheel you everywhere.”
Violet seeps through his golden eyes. He walks over to me and taps the side of my head with a finger. “I heard you.”
“I still can’t get over it.”
Ezra wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me back against his chest. “Ruby, we had to carry you home on your birthday. And that first time you fainted, you just hit the ground. I’ve been thinking about that all day. I know I promised I’d come here with you, but I think crossing over is a really bad idea.”
I smile, pretending to be a lot less anxious than I feel. “If I’m out too long or whatever, just wake me up.”
Ezra catches me at the wrist as I move away from him. “I really think it’s a bad idea,” he stresses, pulling me back a little. “What if something happens? What if I can’t protect you?”
“It won’t. And I know you can. I believe that even more now that I’ve seen you shift.”
He frowns and lets go, standing as motionless as the still air around us, bristling with anticipation. As I close my eyes and concentrate on Ottomundo and my mother, I feel Ezra’s physical pull. His strength fills me with courage, encasing me like a sheath of new skin, as though it came from my own soul.
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