The Bosporus, which cuts through Istanbul and divides Europe and Asia, was so named—bosporos, ox ford or crossing—because Hera became jealous of Zeus’s latest paramour, Io, whom she turned into a white heifer. To add injury to insult, she sent a gadfly to sting the poor cow, who jumped over (not the moon, as in the nursery rhyme) from one continent to the next one. The Ionian Sea was named after Io after she swam in it—eventually she resumed human form.
A respected art form in classical Greece was bucolic poetry—from boukolos, herdsman, itself from bous, ox. Poems like “The Young Cowherd” by Theocritus in the third century BCE movingly illustrate the demands of duty versus love or pleasure. Cowherds were noted Don Juans, as was Krishna, the Hindu god who famously incarnated as a blue-skinned cowherd irresistible to maidens.
Cow. . .
Interestingly, a cow that has not borne a calf, or only one, is instead called a heifer. In farm language, a cow has had a minimum of two calves. A cow is also the female adult of various other large mammals, including whales, elephants, and rhinoceroses.
Cowpoke is another name for a cowboy, as is the seldom heard cowman—the former has a freer, more youthful (and cinematic) connotation, though both herd cattle.
Cowpuncher is yet another term for cowboy. In Britain, cowboy also denotes an unqualified or unscrupulous tradesman, as well as someone—a cowboy on the road—who drives recklessly and too fast.
In the United States a cowcatcher is the graphically named metal frame in front of a locomotive that shoves aside obstacles on the line.
A cowlick is a lock of hair that hangs over one’s forehead.
A cowpat is a round flat piece of cow dung, often used as fuel or fertilizer and prized in Third World countries.
Cowpox is a viral disease of cows’ udders similar to mild smallpox that humans can contract. Mad cow disease is the informal name for BSE, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, which fatally affects the central nervous system of cows and is believed related to human Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
A cowbird is a dark-feathered American songbird that lays its eggs in other birds’ nests (see Cuckoo in the chapter on Non-Mammals). A cowfish is a boxfish named after the hornlike spines on its head.
Cowbane, as its name implies, is poisonous, a tall plant found in wet habitats that’s a member of the parsley family, as is cow parsley, a hedgerow plant with fernlike leaves bearing big lacy heads of miniscule white flowers.
Cowberry is a low-growing evergreen shrub producing dark red berries.
Cowslip is a wild primula with bunches of fragrant drooping yellow flowers in spring.
Cow parsnip is another name for hogweed, a big white-flowered weed that’s also a member of the ubiquitous parsley family (the dissimilar parsnip is also parsley-related).
Elsie
One of the longest-lasting, most popular commercial animal mascots is Elsie the cow, introduced by Borden in 1936 and still wearing a daisy-chain collar. In 1939 Borden had an exhibit at the New York World’s Fair that spotlighted its new rotolactor, a rotating milking platform. To gauge the exhibit’s popularity, Borden tabulated the questions asked by fair attendees. They found only twenty percent of questions were about the milking machine. Sixty percent asked where Elsie was. Elsie soon appeared in the film Little Women, then was given a mate named Elmer. For years Elmer served as background for Elsie, until Borden introduced a white glue made from milk by-products which they felt shouldn’t be advertised by Elsie. So they recruited Elmer and called the product Elmer’s Glue.
(The difference between skim and nonfat milk? None. By law both must contain less than half a percent milkfat content. When Elsie produced the milk, it included three to four percent butterfat content.)
Bovine Expressions
“Holy cow!” The ejaculation was most widespread in the 1960s, in large measure because of TV’s twice-weekly Batman series—Robin the Boy Wonder habitually blurted out “holy” exclamations—likewise comedians, hippie usage, and song lyrics (example: “If They Could See Me Now” from Sweet Charity). The Batman and Captain Marvel comic strips had featured the expression prior to that, and there were and are variations like holy cats and holy mackerel. Psychologist Betty Berzon explained, “Given a choice between similar animal phrases, most people tend to pick the one with the largest animal, the better to impress.”
Since the 1800s, to say I’m all behind like the cow’s tail means that one is behind in one’s work or tasks. A cow’s tail is also, especially in Britain, someone who’s behind the others, for example, “Dave was the cow’s tail at the exam.”
To wait till the cows come home indicates a very long time, for cows, unhurried creatures, take their own sweet time. (The similar a coon’s age, dating back to the early 1800s, referred to the mistaken notion that raccoons lived a very long time.)
To have a cow, that is, to become highly agitated or upset, often heard as the negative order “Don’t have a cow!” derives from the whimsical notion that bad enough news or information may cause trauma or pain equivalent to giving birth to a cow (a calf).
To kill the fatted calf alludes to the biblical story of the prodigal son and denotes lavish hospitality and forgiveness, usually after a long absence from home.
“Cowabunga!” Though some sources try to assign a bovine origin to this exclamation repopularized in the 1990s by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it began life as Kawabonga (sic)—English tends to transform K into C—a signature phrase of Chief Thunderdud on TV’s The Howdy Doody Show. In the ’60s the phrase was adopted by Gidget’s surfers as a cry of exhilaration atop, literally, a cresting wave. In the 1970s the phrase moved into Sesame Street’s neighborhood.
Calves
Calf, the back of one’s lower leg, evolved from Old Norse kalfi, leg. Calf, the young bovine, evolved from Germanic kalam, little cow (calf also refers to the young of certain large mammals like elephants). In English, both became calf. A calf is also a floating chunk of ice separated from its mother iceberg.
Mooncalf now means a dumb or foolish person and seldom is heard (it’s a discouraging word). W. C. Fields in The Bank Dick admonishes a bank teller to not be a mooncalf by passing up a good investment opportunity. Originally a mooncalf was the abortive fetus of a cow or other farm animal. Partly influenced by bias against former moon goddesses—the sun was almost invariably male, the moon female—Europeans long believed that the moon had a sinister influence, hence a mooncalf. Eventually the word was applied to anything monstrous. In The Tempest (published 1623) Shakespeare calls Caliban a mooncalf. It took centuries to water the term down to mean a dummy (or dodo).
Holy Cow, Sacred Cow
India’s “holy cow” is not so much sacred as highly esteemed, not worshipped but revered as a source of food and a symbol of life. Cows are not to be killed, and in the countryside where most families own at least one dairy cow, it’s usually treated as a family member. Its milk, curds, ghee butter, urine, dung—all are used, including in religious rites. However, in Indian cities cows are often neglected and scrawny, eating what they can find, sometimes in the gutter.
An annual cow holiday is called Gopastami (don’t stick an R in it; pastrami is corned beef!), during which cows are washed and decorated in the local temple and offerings made in hopes that the cow’s gifts will continue through the coming year.
McDonald’s of India does not sell beef or pork (the latter forbidden to the Muslim minority). Chicken is on the menu at the golden arches, but the company is opening new all-vegetarian outlets to accommodate the nation’s 500 million or so vegetarians.
Prime Minister Indira Gandhi explained, “The cow is not only a national symbol, she represents qualities we value, including peace and good neighborliness.” Cows also represent reproduction; India, one of the two nations with a billion-plus population, looks set to out-populate China in the foreseeable future, thanks partially to China’s one family/one child policy.
In contrast to a holy cow, a sacred cow is not only not held in hig
h esteem, it’s denigrated. Of course it’s a symbol, seldom bovine and seldom female, and typically is invulnerable to change. For instance, an excessive military budget is criticized by many as a sacred cow. The phrase is almost always used in the negative and is in part a sarcastic reflection on holy cow.
Hide. . .
To say one will tan or whip someone’s hide is also to demean them via use of the word for an animal’s skin. To save somebody’s or one’s own hide implies a rescue or escape fraught with difficulty. To see neither hair nor hide of somebody is to not see them at all. Some literary authorities believe Robert Louis Stevenson chose the name Hyde for the violent alter ego of the good Dr. Jekyll because of its animalistic implications. On the other hand, there’s London’s estimable Hyde Park. . . .
The US term tan for suntanned human skin originated with tanning, converting hides into leather by soaking them in liquid that contains tannic acid, which has nothing to do with the potent tanna leaves in old mummy movies. The acid, also known as tannin, is found in some barks (not the canine kind!) and galls. Another meaning of gall—resentment or a skin-sore from chafing—comes from Olde English gealle, the sore on a horse.
Hidebound has an interesting history. It means to be stuck in or limited by tradition and old-fashioned ideas. In the 1500s it referred to malnourished cattle, later also to emaciated humans and from thence the current sense of a thin or narrow outlook.
Diner Lingo
The 1930s through the ’50s were the golden age of the American diner, also known as a lunch house or hash house. Waitresses and countermen developed a specialized lingo for more efficient ordering, some of which one’s heard in old movies. A few terms went mainstream, such as o.j. for orange juice, b.l.t. for a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, mayo for mayonnaise, and over easy and sunny side up for particular egg styles.
Some contemporary diners have revived the lingo in an attempt at nostalgia. Here are some examples of that not-quite-dead language:
- Bessie: roast beef
- axle grease: butter
- sweep the kitchen: hash
- rabbit food: salad
- Bessie in a bowl: stew
- cackleberries: eggs
- bow-wow or barks: hot dog
- sinkers: donuts
- and Bessie on a raft: a hamburger
Milk. . .
In Shakespeare’s Macbeth (published 1623), Lady Macbeth chides her murderous but faltering husband for being “too full of the milk of human kindness.” With its pure whiteness and nourishing qualities, milk has been equated with goodness, health, and plenty by several cultures. Note the ancient Israelites’ promise of a “land flowing with milk and honey.” In some places in medieval Europe, if a body were thought possessed by a demon or devil, milk was poured over them to purify their soul.
A companion of Rudyard Kipling reported back to a Scottish friend that in one district of southern India the pious custom was to forsake all pleasure while mourning the dead, particularly drinking milk. So, one of the worst local insults was to tell somebody, “I will drink milk when you die!”
A milky complexion remains desirable, but in centuries past it was sometimes thought to be attainable by bathing in milk—on the same principle as you are what you eat (in which case a large percentage of Americans would say “moo” regularly).
Milch—milk in German, Milch—is the English word denoting any domestic mammal kept for giving milk, while a milch cow is an individual or organization that’s an easy and plentiful source of profit or benefit.
Besides milking a cow or other animal, one can milk a situation (milk as plenty). When this writer’s sister heard that a blonde costar from a 1970s TV sitcom had recently written a memoir about the series, she observed, “She really knows how to milk it.”
Does warm milk really induce sleep? It seems to in some people; however, studies reveal that the biggest factor is whether one believes it will (mind over mattress).
Riding Herd
Originally it was a cowboy who would ride herd on cattle, keeping them together and moving in his intended direction. The implication was assuming control, pushing the cattle to where the cowboy wanted them to go, rather than letting them be. After even the once-wild west became urbanized, “riding herd” became associated with perhaps excessive supervision, typically in an office and by a boss.
The term now usually applies in a business or government context, for instance, someone riding herd on a project or department under his or her control. Those being ridden are seldom comfortable with the fact—or the pressure, for instance, “She always rides herd on us during inventory week.” A much newer verb comparable to riding herd, especially when the supervision is too close, is “micromanaging.” (Which a cowboy might have associated with microbes.)
The associated “riding close herd,” or keeping the cattle close together, could now refer to a boss from hell, one who fixes a close, careful eye on someone.
International Cows
In the United States, which long remained more agricultural than England, cow isn’t a pejorative term for a woman. Unexpectedly, to cow somebody is to intimidate them. The femaleness of cows is less emphasized in North America. For instance, to have a cow, meaning to become angry or excited, is gender-neutral. However, stupid cow or selfish cow is a frequent feminine put-down in Britain. In Australia and New Zealand, cow can mean any unpleasant person or thing.
Vache, French for cow, can be a disliked female or anything nasty. Where one might exclaim “Holy cow!” in English when taken by surprise, in French one says “La vache! ” (The cow!) about the unexpected.
One of the most popular breakfast or snack foods in continental Europe is the small wedges of soft processed cheese in a round cardboard container called La Vache Qui Rit, The Laughing Cow.
In German, to say “One takes the cow with the calf” denotes a man marrying a woman who already has a child. In several European languages, to “Chew the cud” signifies either thinking something over or talking it out with someone (German for to chew is kauen). Kuhhandel, literally cow trade, can denote a shady deal, inasmuch as it takes longer to find out how well a cow performs than most animals.
Cattle
Comparing industrial workers to cattle was common by the 19th century, by which time it was clear that despite its positives the Industrial Revolution had robbed many people of choice, decision-making, creativity, and any motivation but money enough to eat. When director Alfred Hitchcock much later said that actors were cattle he meant his brand of highly pre-planned moviemaking eliminated what actors normally do under more spontaneous circumstances, including making their own creative choices.
A cattle call is an open audition for roles in a TV program, ad, film, or more likely a play or musical, often open even to non-union members, with potentially hundreds of thespians showing up for a handful of parts.
A cattle chute forcibly guides cattle to where their owners want them to go. For humans, it’s a confined and directed line, for example, tourists queuing up to view the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris. (Many chutes slope or slide; human ones almost never.)
A cattle prod is a cruel device with an electric charge, used to maneuver cattle from a chute into the truck that takes them to the slaughterhouse—abbatoir in French, from the verb meaning to fall, as many individual cattle stumble and fall in such jam-packed conditions or are hit over the head and made to fall. (Consider reading No Happy Cows by John Robbins, the Baskin-Robbins heir whose bestsellers include Diet For a New America.)
A cattle egret is a small egret or huron that usually feeds around grazing cattle.
A cattle grid, more often called a cattle guard in North America, is a metal grid that covers a ditch and enables pedestrians and vehicles but not animals to go across.
Ruminating
When humans ruminate, they ponder something deeply. When cows do it, they chew their cud. A ruminant is an even-toed ungulate mammal which chews its cud, including cattle, sheep, dee
r, antelopes, giraffes, and related species. A ruminant may also be a person given to meditation. The Latin ruminari is to chew over again, and rumen (Latin for throat) is the name of the first of a ruminant’s four stomachs—the one that receives the food or cud, digests it partially, then passes it into stomach #2. (Aren’t you glad humans have only one!)
Running Bulls
The annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, began in 1852 as part of the nine-day festival of San Fermin, usually in July. In 1998 Mesquite, Nevada, initiated its own version of the taurine event, with runners paying $50 apiece to be chased by twenty 1,500-pound Mexican fighting bulls through a narrow course the equivalent of six football fields.
On September 28, 2013, there was a running of the bulldogs at Caesars (sic) Palace in Las Vegas, a race to publicize the hotel’s Pet-Stay program (despite its name, dogs are the only welcome pets). First to cross the finish line and take home a package of treats was a speedy non-beauty named Lola (her owners got a two-night hotel stay).
Lily Livered
Ancient Greeks customarily sacrificed a major animal such as an ox or bull on the eve of battle. Like their successors the Romans, they saw omens in slaughtered animals’ entrails. If the pre-battle sacrifice’s liver was red and bloody, that was a positive omen; if pale and lily-colored, negative. The Greeks believed that cowards’ livers were pale and lily-colored.
Non-Bulls
A bull market is one in which share prices are rising. To be bullish or bull pro the stock market is to confidently buy shares expecting later to sell at a profit (see Bear further on in this chapter).
To be bullheaded is to be obstinate and unreasoning. A man with a bullneck has a strong thick one.
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