Weasel words are either misleading or ambiguous or they’re words or phrases that weaken the meaning of those preceding them, the premise being that they suck the life out of those words the way a weasel sucks eggs out of their shells. Example: “I promise to be faithful, honey, as long as I find you attractive.” Or: “I love you in that dress, I don’t care what anyone says.”
A ferret is a domesticated weasel-like mammal employed to enter burrows and chase rabbits out of their warrens, into the near presence of humans with shotguns. (The practice is alas illegal only in some places.) Ergo the expression to ferret something out—to search for or investigate something thoroughly.
Pop Goes the Weasel
This supposed children’s ditty that was once a dance goes back centuries and is today mainly associated with musical jack-in-the-boxes. Everybody knows the tune, almost nobody knows the lyrics. Over time, it’s had a variety of lyrics, sometimes with one animal chasing another or an animal chasing a man, but inevitably ending with pop goes the weasel. (Wind-up musical boxes feature a pop-up clown rather than a weasel, which unless accurately reproduced might resemble a rat and scare children.) English writer Quentin Crisp, who penned a foreword for one of this author’s books, recalled “the most popular version” that he knew as a child:
Up and down the City Road/In and out the Eagle/That’s the way the Money goes/Pop goes the Weasel.
It featured, Crisp explained, Cockney rhyming slang. The City Road was a London street and the Eagle a real pub. Pop was slang for to pawn something and weasel for a tailor’s iron. Translation: a tailor must pawn his means of livelihood because he’s spent all his money at his favorite pub. Kids’ stuff?
Playing Possum
A set of related animal expressions often dwindle with time to just one, as with the 19th century’s to act possum, to come possum over someone, to play possum (the survivor), and the verb—as in “With my eyes closed I possumed sleep.”
An opossum or possum is a marsupial with a prehensile tail and hind feet with an opposable thumb that routinely plays dead when attacked, sometimes lying still for hours and fooling its attacker, who moves on. One of the earliest examples of a human mimicking the marsupial is found in William Ioor’s 1807 The Battle of Eutaw Springs and Evacuation of Charleston: “They little thought I was playing ‘possum’ all the while! . . . Now, if I could only stumble upon proof positive that I was the first clever fellow who saved his life by dying.”
The phrase’s meanings of feigning death or sickness or sleep have by now mostly dwindled to the latter.
P.S. An opossum shrimp isn’t even a shrimp, but a separate crustacean. The opossum part of the name comes from its pouch, in which eggs and young are carried.
Big Bad Wolves
In English, the wolf has a bad reputation, and not just because of the Three Little Pigs. He—we usually assume it’s a he, unless it’s a she-wolf, like the one that gave suck to Romulus and Remus—is a deceiver, as with Little Red Riding Hood, as a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Aesop again), and he’s sometimes a lech, a sex-minded wolf who emits wolf whistles. Or he’s a rapacious collector or scammer—a wolf at the door. Sometimes he’s a nasty hybrid: a werewolf.
British zoologist Dr. Gil Ferguson adds, “The wolf is the largest member of the dog family. Its appearance may fool us into thinking ‘dog,’ but its behavior is often not human-friendly. Which can induce a feeling of betrayal. Besides, where a dog is happy to bond with a human and virtually forsake other canines, the wolf is very much a pack animal, therefore more aloof to us and far more intimidating.”
A lone wolf is a very independent human who prefers minimal contact with his own kind. In this regard, a dog is more of a “lone wolf” than a wolf is.
Unless one actually sees a big bad wolf, one should never cry wolf (thank you, Aesop).
To wolf something down is to eat ravenously, hardly chewing, like a hungry wolf.
To throw or feed someone to the wolves is to sacrifice a friend or other non-stranger in order to avoid trouble or save one’s own skin (or hide), also to make somebody else a scapegoat for one’s own sake or safety.
Other Wolves
Whereas in English the only semipositive way to label a man a wolf is via the womanizer reference, wolves come off better in some other languages. In French, mon loup, my wolf, is an endearment, usually man to man, as in traditional English’s old chap or old bean. The womanizer-as-wolf equivalent in Italian uses an entirely different animal: pappagallo, parrot! However, in Europe a wolf or other whistle has usually signified disapproval, not admiration or lust.
Ironically, a wolfhound is a large dog breed originally used for hunting wolves.
The sizeable wolf fish, also called a sea wolf, has a long body, long dorsal fin, and sharp teeth. (In some cultures the shark is known as the wolf of the sea.)
A wolf spider is a fast-moving ground spider known for running after and jumping on its prey (not all spiders spin webs).
A wolverine, despite its name deriving from wolf, isn’t one, though it’s heavily built (but short-legged) and carnivorous.
Wolfram’s not an animal, but tungsten or its ore, the name from wolf and ram, a Germanic word meaning soot that refers to miners having deprecated tungsten ore as inferior to tin.
Fox. . .
The expression “sour grapes” is so universal it’s often forgotten that its source was an Aesop fable called “The Fox and the Grapes,” wherein a fox exerts much effort in trying to grab a bunch of grapes high on a vine. In vain. Thereafter he explains that he stopped trying, really didn’t want them, because they looked sour.
“Crazy like a fox” is a misnomer. Obviously they’re not, and don’t even give the impression—unlike squirrels, which aren’t either. The original uncorrupted expression was “cunning like a fox.” Foxes have a canny reputation (“can” originally meant to know, related to the word ken). In a 1980 interview, Judy Carne said of her former Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In costar Goldie Hawn, “She’s not a dizzy blonde. She’s about as dumb as a fox.”
The foxtrot was reportedly named after American comedian Harry Fox, whose 1913 Ziegfeld Follies turn included its steps. The dance’s rhythm alternates fast and slow steps that some have likened to certain aspects of horsemanship. Foxtrot is also radio communication’s code word for the letter F.
A fox is a sexy female and foxy means sexy, while to fox someone is to deceive or baffle them, but foxed also denotes the brownish spots on discolored paper in old books and prints.
A foxhole is a space too limited for one’s needs or comfort and was a hole in the ground used by military troops, especially during World War I.
Foxfire is phosphorescent light emitted by particular fungi in a decaying wood.
Foxglove is a tall plant with pink-purple flowers shaped like the fingers of a glove, also known as digitalis and a poison familiar to readers of Agatha Christie.
Foxtail is meadow grass with soft, bushy flowering spikes.
A foxhound, smooth-coated with droopy ears, was bred to hunt foxes in packs. A fox terrier—a short- or wire-haired breed—was originally used to unearth foxes.
Camel Cigarettes and a Straw
A dromedary known as Old Joe has adorned Camel cigarette packs since 1913. The original model performed for the Barnum & Bailey circus. When B&B arrived in the Winston-Salem area, the R.J. Reynolds company requested to photograph the creature. The circus refused until the tobacco company hinted that few people might visit the circus at night if their cigarette plant stayed open. However, Old Joe wouldn’t stand still for the shot, so the handler slapped his face. Old Joe raised his tail and drew back his ears, a dromedary’s way of expressing anger. That was the picture the tobacco people chose to use.
The younger, hipper, anthropomorphic Joe Camel debuted in the US in 1988 but had already been employed in France since 1974. Criticism was immediate. The American Cancer Society asked the Federal Trade Commission to ban Joe from ads, and many people charged that his f
ace deliberately resembled a penis, which the illustrator and the ad company denied.
In 1655 Archbishop John Bramhall wrote, “It is the last feather that breaks the horse’s back.” A later variation substituted straw and a camel and was made popular by Charles Dickens in his 1848 novel Dombey and Son: “As the last straw breaks the laden camel’s back . . . .”
FYI, a dromedary camel can drink 30 gallons of water in 10 minutes. (And they say “drinks like a fish.”)
Kangaroo Court
A “kangaroo court” is an irregular, illegal, and/or mock tribunal or court of justice. In 19th-century America, particularly in the Old West and the South, it was all too common for court procedure to skip steps or ethics in order to arrive at a quick, convenient, or popular verdict. This was called jumping through the procedure of justice, first recorded in 1853 and associated with the California gold rush of 1849 that drew prospectors from around the world, including a disproportionate number of Australians. Disputes raged between regular prospectors and illegal ones, often called claim jumpers. Alleged courts were set up to try-and-convict irregular prospectors, sometimes for no better reason than that they were Aussies or other foreigners; these became known as kangaroo courts.
The term later became well known in Britain via trade unions setting up tribunals to try members considered to be strike-breakers.
(Ever wondered if mother kangaroos clean their pouches? Of course they do. A joey may live in there up to eight months, thereafter going out for a walk or nosh but returning until joey’s too big to fit or mama’s had enough. She cleans joey’s bedroom—it’s also joey’s bathroom; don’t ask—by opening it with her forepaws, sticking her head in, and licking it spic and span. Nuff said.)
Freezing the Balls off a Brass Monkey
It must be pretty chilly if it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, but what does that expression signify? The gun powder required to fire the large guns on 18th-century man-of-war ships was stored in separate, confined areas for safety reasons. Small boys, typically orphans, were used to slip or crawl through small spaces and passageways to retrieve the powder. The boys were nicknamed monkeys, which in Britain often was and is applied to anyone mischievous, especially a child.
The brass trays which held the guns’ cannonballs were called brass monkeys. Each tray had 16 cannonball-sized indentations that formed the base of a cannonball pyramid. The trays were made of brass because the cannonballs would stick to or rust on iron. However, brass contracts much quicker in cold weather than iron, so that on extremely cold days the indentations supporting the base level of cannonballs would contract, spilling the balls off the brass monkey. (Now you know.)
Monkey. . .
Not the best pets—they’re definitely not domesticated—monkeys are nonetheless cute and amusing. What’s more fun than a barrel of monkeys? Their image is irresponsibly playful—they love to monkey around (or horse around). They’re reputed mischief-makers—though it’s no fun having a monkey on your back—and quick to ape (!) others: monkey see, monkey do.
Interesting how despite education, so many people—the media is no corrective—routinely lump monkeys together with apes or call chimpanzees, humans’ closest relatives, monkeys.
To make a monkey of someone is to ridicule or humiliate them, perhaps with the implication of lowering them a few rungs on the evolutionary ladder. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle—with possibly the same subconscious implication—indicates disbelief.
To not give a monkey’s about something is UK slang for not caring at all (or giving a hoot). Cheeky monkey began as a Lancashire term for somebody with a lot of nerve. Monkey nut is a British name for a peanut.
Monkey wrench, a North American term for a spanner with an adjustable jaw, is said to have been invented by a London blacksmith named Charles Moncke or an American, circa 1856, named Mr. Monk.
To throw a monkey wrench into the works is to block its success. To monkey with means to interfere with or spoil. Monkey tricks (UK) or monkeyshines (US) implies mischievous behavior. Monkey business is mischievous or deceitful behavior.
A monkey jacket is a close-fitting short jacket worn by waiters, sailors, and officers in their mess. A monkey suit is a man’s formal suit or tuxedo. Contrastingly, a grease monkey is a mechanic.
A monkey’s fist is a knot that mariners use to help dock a ship.
A monkey engine is a piledriver with a heavy hammer or ram operating vertically in a groove.
Monkey bars are a playground staple, a horizontal overhead ladder for swinging along.
A monkey puzzle is a coniferous evergreen tree native to Chile with scaly branches (sounds more reptilian than simian), while a monkey flower is a plant of boggy ground whose red or yellow flowers resemble snapdragons. Obviously the common names of trees and plants—versus their Latin botanical names—weren’t always chosen by scientific observers.
The original 17th-century carving representing the three monkeys that hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil is part of a shrine in Nikko, Japan. The simian legend was probably brought there in the 8th century, or Nara Period, by a Buddhist monk returning from China, where similar expressions were recorded in the 2nd to 4th centuries CE.
Ape
Apes don’t have tails, as monkeys do, and are primates, which include chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, and gibbons. This is the closest animal group to homo sapiens, yet the word ape connotes physical and mental clumsiness, also aggression, as in you big ape or you dumb ape.
To go ape is to suddenly become angry or very excited. Apesh*t, American slang, means the same thing.
An apeman—but not Tarzan—is an extinct apelike primate thought to have been related to present-day humans.
Jackanapes is an archaic term for a tame monkey and a dated one for an uncouth or impertinent individual. (Jack was the most commonly used name in myriad expressions from jack o’ lantern to jack-of-all-trades.)
To ape someone is to imitate them.
A goon may be a weird person or, more usually, a hired thug, and is sometimes said to be a cross between gorilla and baboon.
Bear. . .
Besides an ursine mammal, a bear can be a rough or ill-mannered human—“like a bear with a sore head” is a British expression for a very irritable person. Also, stock-market-wise (or unwise, as the case may be), a bear, contrasted with a bull, is somebody who sells shares in hope of repurchasing them later at a lower price. The phrase’s origin is thought to be the proverb warning against “selling the bear’s skin before one has caught the bear.” A bear market is one in which share prices are falling.
Bear-baiting was long a popular form of entertainment—so were gladiatorial games—wherein dogs were loosed to attack a captive bear. A bear garden or bear pit denotes a scene of confusion and uproar, deriving from the 16th-century site set apart for bear-baiting.
A bear hug is one that’s rough and really squeezes but is non-lethal from a human.
A bearing rein is a fixed rein that makes a horse raise its head and arch its back.
Bearskin is a tall cap of black fur worn ceremonially by various troops (often seen and photographed in London).
And there’s the sloth bear, named after the animal that represents laziness. It lives on termites but has a major sweet tooth and will sometimes open a beehive and keep eating the honey after getting its nose stung several times.
(In case you ever wondered, when bears hibernate—spending winter in a dormant state—they don’t eliminate their waste, but recycle it, converting the toxic compounds into protein. Researchers are studying this process in hopes of treating kidney failure in humans.)
Loaded for Bear
Once upon a time, North America abounded with black, Alaska brown, grizzly, and other bears. They were shot for food and “sport.” Hunting bears required nerve and preparedness, and led to this expression, widespread by the 1880s. The New York World in 1888 chronicled, sports-wise, “Ewing was loaded for bear and was just spoiling for a
chance to catch somebody on the bases.” Two years later the Dictionary of Slang, Jargon and Cant advised, “Loaded for bears (sic) . . . signifies that a man is slightly intoxicated, enough to feel ready to confront danger.”
Today the phrase usually means to be very well prepared or aggressively hoping for a fight.
Bear Plants
Bear with me here. Bearberry is a creeping dwarf shrub with pink flowers and red berries, a member of the heather family. Beargrass is a North American plant with long thick leaves, including wild yucca. Bear’s breech, a Mediterranean plant, has big leaves and tall spikes of purple-veined white flowers. Bear’s ear is the nickname for auricula, an Alpine primula that supposedly resembles bear’s ears. And bear’s foot is the nickname for hellebore, a poisonous winter-flowering plant with big green, white, or purple flowers whose thick divided leaves supposedly resemble a bear’s foot.
To Lick Something Into Shape
In the distant past, before science—sometimes seemingly before logic—some cultures believed that particular animals, especially bears, birthed formless babies that had to be licked into the shape of their breed. Of course many animals are born enveloped in thick afterbirth that makes them nearly unrecognizable until the mother cleans it off. But as relatively late as 150 CE Aulus Gellius wrote, “For he said that as the bear brought forth her young formless and misshapen, by licking gave it form and shape.”
Bear Mascots
When companies employ bears as advertising mascots, they fall into one of two categories: real bears or teddy bears. Two that weren’t teddies were the long-running brown bear which pitched Hamm’s Beer and Teddy Snow Crop, the polar bear used to advertise Snow Crop Frozen Orange Juice. (Did you know polar bears have black skin but white fur, and that each hair is in fact a hollow tube which funnels sun rays to the bear’s skin to keep it warm? Polar bears appear white because the rays bounce off their fur. Nature is amazing.)
Among teddy bears, Sugar Bear was the mascot for Post’s Sugar Crisp cereal, singing, “Can’t get enough Super Golden Crisp.” After the sugar purge—of names, not ingredients—of the 1970s the product was renamed Super Golden Crisp. A charming little bear named Snuggles used to advertise Snuggles Fabric Softener, and for a long time TraveLodge motels featured Sleepy Bear, dressed in a nightcap and nightshirt, eyes half closed and arms outstretched, heading for bed. That very popular mascot successfully embodied two ursine aspects: teddy bears are used by children to help them sleep and bears are associated with comfortable hibernation.
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