by K. B. Wagers
“I should have known better than to trust you.”
“Your problem was the assumption that we were in agreement on everything,” Mia replied coolly. “I agree with some of what you are proposing, Fasé, but I have no interest in what happens to Faria. My concern has always been and will always be my people. This path is the one that will bring them home.”
“And you think it’s just a happy coincidence that the very thing you want is also what the future says the Star will choose?”
“I think that you all have been trying to control Hail for far longer than I’ve been in the picture. I showed her what was coming. I gave her a choice.”
“You let me believe everyone was dead,” I said.
Mia looked to me. There was sorrow in her gray eyes, but also the same determination that had been there from the beginning. “We did—I did, yes.”
“Were you responsible for the attack on Earth?”
“No,” she said. “I told you the truth about Jamison.” She drew in a deep breath. “But I knew it was coming and I didn’t warn you. They could have all died, were it not for Fasé.”
“Why?”
“You needed to make the right choice, Hail, and that required extreme measures.”
“Not the right choice,” Fasé said, crossing the space between them. “Your choice. Your obsession with revenge could mean the death of us all.”
I caught Hao’s eye and shook my head at the question in his eyes, pleased when he pulled his hand back from his gun.
“My obsession?” Mia laughed. “The Farian obsession with an endless life is what put us here in the first place, Fasé. Don’t try to suddenly pretend you’re okay with that. You’re fighting against it the same as we are, and you’re just as willing to sacrifice people”—Mia pointed at me—“for your fucking cause, so don’t preach at me like you’re a saint.”
“How dare you.”
“Enough.” I came around the table, catching Fasé’s wrist before she could strike Mia and dragging her back several steps. “That’s enough, Fasé.”
“Are you going to forgive her for this?” Her golden eyes went wide with shock. “You’ve already forgiven her.”
I smiled, glancing at Mia for a moment before looking down at Fasé; the memory of the destruction I’d seen was heavy on my tongue. “There are worse things coming. You know this. I know this. I made my choices. You could make an argument about incomplete information, but the truth is every choice we make is based on what we know at the time and nothing more.”
“You cannot get involved, Hail.”
“I am involved. Don’t you get that, Fasé? I tried to stay out of this fight. It didn’t work. We tried it your way and everyone almost died. I won’t take that chance again.”
“How can you forgive her for this?”
“How did I forgive you?” I let her wrist go and cupped her face with both hands. “How do any of us forgive for the horrible things we do to each other? We make the choice. It can’t be coerced or bought. It just happens like the sun rising for one more morning. I don’t fully understand what is going on, both out there and in here.” I let her go briefly and tapped my chest. “But there’s no backing out of it now. We move forward and we have to go together.”
Fasé’s frown deepened and I tightened my grip when she started to pull away. “I need you to listen to me,” I said. “You’re the one who said the future isn’t set, so stop acting as though it is just because things didn’t go the way you wanted them to go.”
Sybil’s shoulders jerked as she unsuccessfully choked back her laughter, but Fasé didn’t look away from me. “This is not about me not getting my way. You are walking a dark and dangerous path, Hail. I grieve for the pain it will cause you.”
“I’ve already been in pain and spent a lifetime grieving. I thought you were gone—all of you—and it destroyed me. Don’t you realize that?” I replied, leaning down and pressing my forehead to hers. “You all sat and watched as my family was killed. You did it because I had to be here. Well, I am still here. What the Cevallas did is no more or less right than what you’ve done, so you don’t get to take the moral high ground here. Mia is right, nobody gets to control me.”
Fasé closed her eyes, visibly collecting herself before she opened them again. “I never quite know what to make of you, Hail Bristol.”
“You’re not alone in that, believe me.” I let her go and dragged in a breath, feeling a bit like I’d just run a hundred-meter sprint.
“I hope you are prepared for what is coming.” That was directed at Mia, who dipped her head in acknowledgment to the Farian.
“We are not the same side, Mardis, but we can be,” she said. “We would be stronger together.”
Fasé shook her head, wrestling privately with something. “I need to think on this,” she said at last, and headed out the door.
Sybil followed her, laying a cool hand on my bare arm. “Watch out for the riptides, Your Majesty.”
The breath I dragged in was a shaky half sob, and Sybil smiled.
“You have passed through the fire. It may not feel like it now, but you are whole, Majesty, and stronger than your fears.” She reached down, smiling at Mia as she helped the Shen to her feet.
“Don’t touch her,” Emmory ordered as Mia reached out to me.
“Ekam,” she said, a patient smile playing over her mouth. “I couldn’t kill Hail even if I wanted to.” She spread her fingers wide and wiggled them. “The moment Aiz brought her back from the dead he made that impossible.”
I blinked. “What?”
Hao groaned. “Please don’t tell me she’s immortal. She’s hard enough to live with as it is.”
I choked on my laughter, but Sybil’s laugh flew free and even Emmory let a reluctant smile curve the corner of his mouth, though he didn’t move from Mia’s path.
“She is not,” Mia said. “But she is protected from the power we and the Farians have. We can still heal her, can still bring her back, but we can’t use the energy to kill her. I couldn’t kill you either, Ekam.”
“Because of Fasé,” I murmured as everything clicked into place, and Mia nodded. I looked to Emmory, reaching a hand out and putting it on his forearm. “That’s why you didn’t die when I shot that assassin at the party. Even though he was touching you.”
“So you’re safe?” Hao asked.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Mia’s eyes were on mine when she answered, and I had to fight to keep from pressing a hand to my stomach where a riot had taken up residence. “But Hail’s safe with me. Any human who’s been brought back is safe from that particular threat.” She looked away from me at Emmory. “Besides, I like your empress, and I swear on my mother’s grave I will not hurt her. Hail.” Mia stopped, staring past me as she considered her words before she met my eyes. “I am sorry for not telling you that your people were alive. I know it caused you pain.”
It had, there was no denying that, and I knew it looked odd that I wasn’t angrier about the betrayal—if I could even call it that. I understood in my gut why Aiz and Mia had hidden the truth from me, hidden me away. It was like rubbing dirt off a window until I could finally see through it to the other side. The future Mia had shown me was growing clearer with every day that passed, and I knew down in my soul that the only way to prevent what I’d seen was to forge ahead and fight.
“You would do it again, given the chance.”
This time she met my gaze. “I would do anything for my people.”
I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading. “I know. That’s why I forgive you.”
She dropped her lashes down over her eyes for just a heartbeat before looking up at me again, and my blood hummed in response. “You don’t need an assurance from me that I am myself?”
“I don’t. I know you.” I leaned in. “I need—”
Emmory cleared his throat and I snapped backward, refusing to look around. I knew my people were staring at me. Sybil was watching us with a curious half smile c
urving her mouth.
“We’ll leave you alone, Majesty,” she said, tugging on Mia’s arm until the woman turned from me and followed her from the room.
“Bugger me,” I muttered, closing my eyes briefly and opening them as I turned. Gita was frowning. Hao had an eyebrow raised. My Ekam’s face was perfectly blank. Zin wore his worry for the whole room to see. I sat in the chair Mia had vacated and stared at my hands.
“Majesty.” Emmory crouched at my side. “We can’t trust the Shen.”
“It is, ironically, not about trust. I—” I curled my fingers inward, nails biting into the skin. The pain grounded me some, and I exhaled. “We don’t need her captive and we don’t want to be on Aiz’s bad side, trust me on that one. This will be hard enough as it is. We’ll meet with Aiz, and I’ll try to get him to see that we need to work together.” I took a deep breath and looked his way.
The silence in the room was tantamount to a bomb going off, and I rolled my eyes. “Can we please not do this? We’re going to have to be on the same side as them no matter what happens; it would be easier if you all didn’t think I was—” I broke off, frustrated at the words that wouldn’t cooperate.
“What, Hail?” Hao asked with a smile that was sharp. “Obsessed with that Shen?”
I gave him a flat look. “Not the word I would have picked.”
“I would have.” Gita’s mutter was only just audible.
I gave her a look even as I knew they were right and rubbed both hands over my eyes with a groan. “Yes, I know. All of you are concerned.”
“For good reason, Hail,” Zin said. “We’ve seen this kind of reaction in hostages before.”
“You are the Empress of Indrana, Majesty,” Emmory said. “There is concern to be had.”
I shook my head. “I am not, Emmory. I heard you say ‘Empress Alice’; moreover, I know how the laws of succession work. This may be a strange situation, but it’s not out of the realm of things the government is prepared to deal with.”
I watched the frowns as the four of them tried to keep up with my subject change, even though I knew it would only buy me a little space from the issue of Mia.
“It’s been close to eight months on Pashati since I disappeared. Alice would have been crowned by what had better have been a unanimous vote of the councils after the second month had passed. Indrana couldn’t afford to be leaderless. Not on the heels of a civil war. The council’s first priority would have been to secure the throne. Did that happen?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I smiled in relief that something had gone right in this whole mess.
“It will be reversed, Majesty,” Emmory said, and though his tone was soft, the words hit like a sledgehammer to my gut. “I’ve already sent word home of your rescue.”
“Did you include the bit where I was out of my mind?” I waved a hand. “Am still kinda hanging on to sanity by my fingertips, if we’re all going to be painfully honest with each other.”
The muscles in Emmory’s jaw tightened.
“I haven’t even kissed Mia,” I said, turning away and rubbing at my forehead with the palm of my hand. “I won’t lie. I want to. Do I have to have a reason for it? And I feel like you all should know she very deliberately did not respond when I pushed the issue because she recognized the imbalance of power between us.”
“You only have to be careful, Majesty. Especially if you want to pursue an alliance with the Shen. The Farians will jump on any reason to say you are being coerced.”
“She’s dangerous, Hail.” That was from Hao, and I muttered a curse.
“I know, you’ve already said as much.” I squeezed my eyes shut at his look of confusion. That hadn’t been this Hao, but the ghost in my head. “Sorry, wrong Hao. So am I, damn it. I’m not some lovesick schoolgirl.”
“We’re not saying you are.”
“Then what are you saying?” I couldn’t keep the snap out of my words, no matter how unfair it might be.
“That you need to be careful,” Hao replied.
“Careful is a matter up for debate.” I shook my head and put a hand up. “Drop it for now, gege. I hear the protests. I promise to keep it in my pants. How are things at home?”
“Stable, at the moment,” Emmory replied after closing his eyes at Zin’s choked laughter. “I told Empress Alice we would com them as soon as you were feeling better.”
“I can’t.” I hated how the words stuck in my throat and shook my head again. “Not right now.”
“She will press, ma’am.”
“Let her press! I’m not—” I shoved out of my seat, anger rolling in my chest as I paced the length of the room and back again.
What was I? If not empress, was I a citizen of Indrana still? I didn’t know for sure if I was even me. Right now it certainly didn’t feel like it.
“I need some time and to focus on one looming catastrophe before going to the next. We have things to do here now. Alice can hold the empire together for a little longer. Mia said she didn’t hire Jamison because she knew I hated him,” I said, changing the subject so abruptly again it was surprising no one got whiplash. “She didn’t know if the Farians had or if he was after Hao.”
“Rai claimed the same thing.” Hao’s voice was quiet, but it made every muscle in my body tense.
“You talked to Rai?”
“At great length.” Hao’s gold eyes were filled with simmering violence. “He’s still alive, though, sha zhu.”
“Good.” I held on to the spark of answering fury I felt. “He’s on the list. So is Jamison, but I can’t deal with either of them at the moment.”
Hao looked as though he wanted to say something, but he shook his head with a tiny frown at my raised eyebrow.
“We assumed the money was coming from the Cevallas,” Zin replied. “But I bet you a hundred credits if we looked at it again we’d find something we missed.”
“The money was—” Hao snapped his fingers and moved to the wall. Data from his smati appeared on the surface. “It wasn’t. Gita, do you remember when we were looking at the sources and Jamison’s had one extra—”
“Yes.” She joined him at the wall. “We discounted it at the time, assuming it was extra security on his part.”
“I should have known better. He’s not that careful.” Hao shook his head, then reached a hand out and tapped a finger against the list of figures. “Here. Someone slotted that in to make it look like it was coming from the same source as the other payments.”
“We’ll have to do some digging,” Gita replied, her shoulder just brushing his as she leaned in to examine the accounts. “I don’t believe the Farians would be so foolish as to let the money trail lead straight back to them, but it may give us something we can use.”
“They really did make up?” I murmured under my breath to Emmory and watched as a smile appeared at the corner of my Ekam’s mouth.
“Yes, Majesty.”
“Are you going to stop calling me that?”
“No, Majesty.”
“You know nobody else is going to stop calling me that unless you do?”
“I know.” His smile flickered. He reached down and closed his fingers around mine, squeezing them once before he let go. “You are the empress, Majesty. Time or distance does not change that fact. We swore an oath to the Star.” He reached up and tapped a finger to the tattoo on his cheek. “You are the shining stars in the blackness of space. The hope of the lost and forsaken. The spark that must not be extinguished.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.”
That pulled a smile from me, though it vanished just as quickly. “Emmory, there’s something awful coming and I think—I know this sounds arrogant but—I think I’m the only one who can stop it.”
“I heard Mia say that, too,” he said. “Show me.”
I held my hand out and Emmory took it, frowning at me before he tightened his fingers on mine. I exhaled and cued up the playback of the images I’d seen when Mia
had shown me the future.
They’d gotten clearer the more I’d watched them. Scenes of flame and fire transformed into soldiers in white marching through deserted streets. Their faces were still obscured, but I could see the weapons clearly enough and there was nothing like what they carried in this entire galaxy.
We saw Earth in ruins. Indrana destroyed. Graveyards of ships stretching through the black. I felt Emmory jerk at the sight of his corpse and was surprised that this time my own eyes were dry.
24
Dark Mother,” Emmory breathed, bracing himself on the table after he turned away, Zin’s hand on his back.
“What’s going on?” Gita and Hao had turned from their conversation and were watching us.
“I showed him what’s coming.”
There was silence, then a low gasp from Zin. I started to reach for him, but Emmory turned and pulled him into an embrace. “Have you two seen this?” Zin asked.
Gita and Hao both shook their heads. Emmory murmured something that made Zin straighten and leave the room.
“No,” Gita said. “Her Majesty told us about it on Sparkos, but I didn’t—”
“Want to see it,” I finished, my voice sharper than it should have been, and Gita flinched.
“We’re not meant to see the future, ma’am. It’s not right.”
“What’s not right is running headlong into a battle without the slightest clue who we’re fighting or what they’re capable of.” I waved a hand at the window in the ready room, the space beyond as calm as an undisturbed pool, and the chaos we’d just watched was laid over it, so that the black was filled with dying ships and stars. “What’s not right is not using every advantage to stop what’s coming. That means me, with Aiz, fighting gods.”