by Ian Todd
Patsy Green wis oot the car the second the first shotgun blast reached him o’er the roar ae the car and bus engines heidin up Hope Street. By the time he reached the entrance tae the lane, he could jist make oot the still stationary van and the shadow ae somewan staunin tae the left ae it, before the whole ae the lane lit up wae the discharge ae the second blast. Efter hesitating slightly, wondering whit he should dae next, the glaring brake lights oan the back ae the van blinked oot and the sound ae screeching tyres accelerating reached him, as the van disappeared, turning right oot oan tae Renfield Street. A crowd ae people hid awready started gathering at the far entrance where The Goat lay motionless, looking up in Patsy’s direction. He briskly walked back tae the car, pulling his crew neck jumper up o’er the bottom hauf ae his face, jumped in and heided up towards the Coocaddens, the car being quickly swallowed up by the traffic.
Chapter Thirty Three
At first, she wisnae gaun tae get intae Simon’s new toy, the Jenson Interceptor. They’d previously arranged tae go in tae the toon fur lunch and go in by DIRTY JAKE’S BOUTIQUE as Johnboy hidnae been in the shoap since Jake hid first acquired the lease. He wis also supposed tae hiv been gaun roond tae her flat, which wid’ve been another first. Insteid, he’d phoned her the day before and asked her tae heid across tae his in the morning. She’d jist assumed that he’d wanted his ain space as she’d been sleeping at his maist nights. As far as she wis aware, he hidnae set fit oot ae the flat since he’d discharged himsel fae The Royal. Insteid ae heidin hame when she’d finished the back shift, she’d been heidin straight up tae his. He’d usually cook her something simple while she took a quick shower. When they goat tae the bottom ae his closemooth, he surprised her by walking roond tae the driver’s side and opening the door.
“Whit’s wrang?” he asked.
“Whit’s wrang? You’re whit’s wrang,” she scoffed. “You’re no expecting me tae sit in that wae you behind the wheel, ur ye?”
“Well, unless you want tae drive, aye,” he replied, smiling, as his heid disappeared, opening the door oan her side ae the car fae the inside. “Jump in.”
“Bit, ye’ve no goat a driving licence,” she challenged him, bending o’er, looking at the plush cream leather interior ae the car, as he sat there wae an amused expression splashed across his face.
“Aye, Ah hiv.”
“Show me.”
She’d stood reading the piece ae paper suspiciously, making oot that she knew whit she wis looking fur. It hid the address oan it ae the flat in Heim Street in Springburn, that him and Silent hid goat lifted fae, back in January seventy-three.
“Well?” he asked, snatching his licence fae her fingers, as she reluctantly slid intae the passenger seat. “Right, before we start…it might be a wee bit bumpy tae start aff wae…kangaroo petrol and aw that. Ah goat a wee shot in it last night. Simon jist aboot hid kittens sitting there wae me crunching they gears ae his.”
They heided doon tae the end ae the street and stalled at the junction, before turning left oan tae Great Western Road.
“Why ur ye revving?”
“Ah’m no…it’s jist the engine ticking o’er. It’s a big sports engine,” he replied.
“Where ur we gaun?”
“Ah thought we’d take a wee run oot tae Balloch.”
“Balloch?”
“There’s a wee café beside the bridge at the start ae the loch that we used tae steal oot ae, when we followed the orange walk oot oan the train when we wur snappers. Ah’ll treat ye tae a plate ae chips and a pokey-hat.”
“So, when did ye sit yer test then?”
“Er…ur ye wanting the truth or the doctored version?” he asked her, laughing.
“The truth obviously,” she retorted, looking at the busy traffic roond aboot them, clasping her left haun oan tae the door handle.
“We aw goat oorsels licences via a contact Wan-bob Broon his doon in DVLC years ago. It’s aw legit.”
“Including Tony?”
“Obviously.”
“Ah hid tae send away fur ma wan efter Ah passed ma test,” she said, emphasising the passing ae the test bit. “Ah cannae believe this…or you. Whit if ye get stoapped by the polis?”
“If they check up, they’ll see that Ah sat ma test back in 1972. Christ, Senga, stoap worrying, will ye. Ah’ve telt ye, it’s aw legit, so it is. Enjoy the ride,” he said, as the powerful 7.2 litre engine throbbed intae life as he took aff fae the traffic lights.
“At least ye’d get a job as a driver,” she supposed, as he laughed. “That laugh disnae fill me wae confidence. Whit’s wrang wae being a van driver? There’s loads ae decent, honest people, daeing that,” she chided him, pointing tae a line ae delivery vans, turning right intae Byres Road in front ae them.
“Aye, right,” he muttered, switching oan the radio and turning up the volume, as ‘Night Train’ by James Broon filled the car. “Christ, remember this wan? It’s the only record that Silent ever goat up tae dance tae, the stupid basturt. Tony called him Mr Liquorice-Leg-All-Sorts because ae the way they legs and arse ae his gyrated.”
“Johnboy, why hiv ye no asked me aboot the medium we went tae see the other night there?”
“Shhh!” he shushed, drumming his fingers oan the steering wheel, as she stretched across and turned the volume back doon. “Because Ah heard aw aboot it.”
“Fae who?”
“Ah think Peter mentioned it…seemingly him and Jean ur hivving a wee boy. Why? Whit’s wrang?”
“Nothing.”
“So, why did ye mention it if ye’re no bothered?”
“Because Ah wis waiting fur you tae ask me, bit ye clearly wurnae interested. So, did Peter say that Skull hid put in an appearance?”
“Naw.”
“Ah thought ye heard aw aboot it?”
“Did ye actually see him?”
“Naw, bit the medium did. Ah think that it’s only her that sees them…the spirits…ghosts, whitever they’re supposed tae be.”
“So, whit did he say then?”
“He said that Pearl wisnae tae worry aboot no finding a job, as something wid turn up.”
“And you believe her…this, whit did ye say she wis?”
“A spiritualist, medium. She seemed tae know whit she wis oan aboot.”
“She’ll hiv gleaned aw the information aff ae youse withoot any ae ye knowing whit wis happening. These people ur experts.”
“Donna The Prima Donna wis there.”
“Oh, well, that’s awright then.”
“Why ur ye so cynical? Even you said that ye’ve talked tae him.”
“Aye, in a dream.”
“Bit, whit if it wisnae a dream?”
“Anyway, Skull?”
“She said that he wis wearing a tammy…a Celtic wan.”
“Whit did he say?” he asked, remembering the white room.
“That Pearl wisnae tae worry as there’s a job fur her jist roond the next corner. That wis it.”
“Aye, that’ll be Skull, right enough,” he said, as they baith laughed.
“Ah’m telling ye, she wis amazing, so she wis. She freaked everywan oot. She wis well worth the money.”
“Aye, well.”
“Look, Ah kin see ye’re no interested. Oh, and we’ve decided that we’re keeping Elspeth Jefferson oan as Rose Bain’s legal adviser.”
“Elspeth…”
“Simon’s fantasy, who he’s no chance ae getting aff wae. That Elspeth.”
“No her that Simon hid a date wae the other day there?”
“He did not! Why did ye no mention it? See whit Ah mean? Ye’ve goat tae learn tae open up, so ye hiv. It’s like pulling teeth wae you.”
“Fuck’s sake, Senga. Whit wid Ah mention something like that fur?”
“Because ye knew we aw hid problems wae her…and that boss ae hers.”
“He’s no her boss. She’s a partner in the firm.”
“Ah cannae believe you never mentioned anything aboot her and Simon,” Senga c
hastised him, shaking her heid. “Wait till the lassies hear aboot that wan. Here’s us planning tae get shot ae her and Simon’s getting aff wae her behind oor backs. Hiv none ae youse goat any loyalty whitsoever? It’s no funny.”
“Aye, it is,” he laughed.
“Why did ye no mention that we wur gaun oot fur a drive in Simon’s new car?”
“Because Ah jist decided yesterday…last night. Ye’ve obviously goat a problem wae it, fur some reason.”
“Ma problem is that Ah don’t know whit’s gaun oan inside that heid ae yours. Ah get a bit nervous wae surprises, especially if it involves…”
“The Mankys?”
“Me. Ah’m jist no used tae decisions being taken oan ma behalf withoot first knowing aboot it.”
“We kin turn back if ye want?”
“That’s no whit Ah’m saying, Johnboy.”
“So, whit ur ye saying then?”
“Whit Ah’m saying is, ye hivnae been oot ae the flat in weeks, bit when Ah come roond, it’s obvious the rest ae yer pals hiv been and gone.”
“Whit makes ye think that?”
“Yer draining board oan the sink is always full ae washed cups sitting oan it, plus ye never mention the fact…or them, that they’ve been roond.”
“Whit’s there tae say? Snappy drapped in by and used up aw ma milk…Jake wis moaning aboot Ben’s habit ae constantly noising him up…Tony’s no happy aboot Baby Huey moaning aboot hivving the toothache, especially as he’s daeing fuck aw aboot it?”
“Ach, furget it.”
“Fine,” he said, smiling.
“The lassies wur wanting tae know when they kin come and visit ye…or when the party is.”
“Party? Whit party?”
“See, there ye go. The hoosewarming or homecoming party.”
“The lassies kin come up and visit anytime they want.”
“They won’t come unless they’re invited…by you.”
“So, his Pearl’s job turned up yet efter Skull putting in a good word?”
“Why dae ye keep changing the subject aw the time?”
“Look, ye’d be as well spitting oot whit’s wrang…something’s obviously bothering ye.”
“Ah’m worried that ye’re gonnae get drawn in tae whit’s gaun oan…that’s whit Ah’m worried aboot,” she said, turning and looking at him, searching his face.
“Drawn in?”
“Oh, Johnboy, don’t gie me that. You know fine well whit Ah’m oan aboot.”
“Dae Ah?” he mumbled, flashing at the car in front, tae let him know the lights wur at green.
“And when dae we ever speak aboot oor future?”
“We talk it aboot aw the time.”
“Okay, Ah’ll repeat that. When dae you ever bring the subject up first then? Johnboy, Ah love ye and Ah want us tae be thegither,” she said earnestly, looking at him, reaching o’er and covering the back ae his haun wae hers oan the gearstick.
“Ah’ve telt ye…Ah’m still recovering…ma heid’s still minced, so it is,” he replied, suddenly laughing. “Christ, who wid’ve thought you’d end up a Green Lady?”
“Aye, Pat Broon wis asking kindly efter ye.”
“Aye, you mind and tell her Ah’m still traumatised by they big fat fingers ae hers scouring fur nits oan that poor scalp ae mine. Christ, aw the weans in the Toonheid must still be waking up in the night in a sweat. Ah know Ah am. Ah kin remember that ma ae mine gieing me a clout oan the lug efter three bone combs snapped, wan efter the other,” he said, as they laughed.
“It wis aw right fur you. Ah hid long hair at the time,” she winced, touching her blonde locks. “When Ah wis hivving that meal wae yer pal, Ah goat intae a wee bit ae a tussle wae him,” she admitted, back oan tae her favourite hate figure.
“There’s a surprise,” he drawled.
“Did he say anything?”
“Aye, he said ye spoiled his good expensive meal and it’ll be the last time he takes you oot anywhere fancy.”
“Ah jist cannae believe the arrogance ae him. How Kim Sui puts up wae it, is anywan’s guess.”
“Ah’ve telt ye, don’t hiv a run-in wae somewan like Tony Gucci. It’s only you that’ll end up in tears.”
“Ah accused him ae hating wummin…me…since Ah wis a wean.”
“Well, that wis a smart move.”
“He implied that he’d done mair fur me than Ah’d ever know.”
“Did he noo. And whit wis that then?”
“He never said. He jist telt me tae ask you.”
Silence.
“Aye, ye must’ve goat tae him. Ah’m warning ye, don’t upset him. He never takes any prisoners.”
“So, whit wis he talking aboot then…aboot me?”
“Why ur ye asking me? How the hell wid Ah know.”
“Because he telt me tae ask you. So, whit wis he oan aboot?”
“Look, ye clearly goat the better ae him and he came back at ye. That’s whit he dis.”
“He disnae know we wur skimming the money The Mankys wur gieing us fur your campaign tae help oot wae Rose Bain’s fight fur justice, dis he?” she asked, blushing, as Johnboy looked at her as if she wis stupid and laughed. “Dis he? It wisnae much…and only when we wur desperate.”
“Ach, well, Ah widnae worry. There wis somewan else contributing as well, so there wis.”
“Eh? Who?”
“Donna The Prima Donna.”
“Donna?”
“Forty quid oot ae the two hunner he haunded o’er each month came fae her, so it did.”
“Whit? Fae Donna?”
“Tae help oot wae the nurse.”
“Bit…”
“He knew fine well youse wid dip in…no that he wid’ve hid a problem wae it. He must’ve mentioned it tae her. She wanted tae help withoot aw youse knowing aboot it, so she topped up whit the boys wur haunin o’er.”
“Bit, why did she no jist gie it tae us up front? God, whit an embarrassment. We’ve never thanked her.”
“Aye, well, Ah wid leave well alane. If she wanted ye tae know, she wid’ve said.”
“God, if we knew that, we wid’ve spent mair than we did…”
“Tony believes when push comes tae shove, youse ur nae different fae us.”
“We borrowed fur a good cause as and when it wis required.”
“Well, there ye go then. It aw turned oot awright in the end…at least it did fur me.”
“So, is that whit he wis referring tae when he said that he’d helped me oot mair than Ah wis gieing him credit fur.”
“Yep,” he lied. “You telling him he hated wummin wid’ve upset him. He kin be a wee bit vain that way, so he kin.”
“Me upset yer pal? Aye, right,” she mocked, laughing derisively. “Ah still don’t see why Donna couldnae hiv jist haunded the money across tae wan ae us though.”
“She’s a wheeler dealer. That’s no how somewan like her operates. She’s goat her fingers in aw sorts ae pies. When Ah wis young and Ah saw her car at the bottom ae the closemooth in Montrose Street, Ah used tae tear up the stairs, three at a time, because Ah knew she’d hiv a bag ae sweeties fur me. Ma ma used tae say tae her that if she wanted me, she could take me hame, bit if she did, she couldnae take me back wance Ah started upsetting her.”
“She loves you and aw yer pals. She thinks the sun shines oot ae Tony and Simon’s arses.”
“See? She’s a good judge ae character, is Donna. Why kin ye no take a leaf oot ae her book?”
“Because, despite her generosity, she clearly disnae know whit yer pals get up tae hauf the time, that’s why. If she did, she’d probably run a mile.”
“Aye, well, Ah widnae place money oan it. Donna knows a good thing when she sees it.”
“So, back tae us. Ah’m gonnae start looking aboot fur jobs…away fae the toon.”
“Whit aboot the trial?”
“Ah’m jist gonnae see whit’s oot there. Ah don’t even know if Ah’ve qualified. Seemingly, it takes ages tae let ye know because ye�
�ve studied oan the job. They need tae tie ye in wae the students’ timetable. By the time Ah apply…and if Ah get a job, it’ll take a while. Ah’ll need tae find somewhere fur us tae live,” she replied lightly, looking at him oot ae the side ae her eyes fur a reaction.
“And whit aboot the publicity…Ah mean, the bad publicity?”
“Ah’m sorry?”
“You mixed up wae gangsters? Wid yer new bosses no feel a wee bit miffed that there’s a gangster’s moll in the ranks?”
“Ah’m no mixed up wae any gangsters. Ma flatmate goat caught up in the death ae a poor young nurse and she telt me aboot it and Ah wis called up as a witness tae confirm whit she found oot.”
“Ah’m only saying.”
“Johnboy, dae you really love me?”
“Of course Ah dae. Whit kind ae question is that?” he asked, turning and looking at her.
“So, why don’t ye tell me?”
“Ah did. Two nights ago…remember?”
Silence.
“Aye, bit wid ye say it in front ae yer mates…publicly, Ah mean?”
“Ye mean walk intae a pub or a cafe and shout across the room that Ah love ye in front ae everywan? Probably no,” he laughed.
“Ye know whit Ah mean. Wid ye?”
“Ah don’t know,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “It aw depends.”
“Oan whit?”
“Oan how drunk Ah wis,” he said, as they baith laughed.
“Bit, ye’re still okay aboot us…moving away, that is?”
“We’re no at that bridge yet.”
“Why dae ye say that?”
“Because things happen, circumstances change.”
“Dae ye no mean, we’re no at that stage?”
“That as well.”
“Ah’m sorry, bit Ah’m still no convinced aboot your commitment. He’ll make sure that it disnae happen?”
“Who will?”
“You know who.”
“So, whit happens if Ah decide tae stay here in the toon?”
“Is that whit ye’re saying?”
“Naw, bit let’s jist say, if Ah did?”
“Then Ah’m still offskie. Ah’ve made up ma mind. There’s a better life oot there,” she said wae a wave ae her haun beyond the windscreen.