by Erin Noelle
After everyone clapped for them and all that bullshit, they got off the stage, and I took advantage of the lull. I jumped up on the stage and grabbed the mic, hoping it was still live. I tapped it once, heard the feedback, and pulled it close to my mouth.
“Good evening, everyone. I know y’all are about to call it a night, but I was hoping I could sing one song to the newly married couple.” Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention toward me. “I was supposed to perform at the wedding here tonight, but I let someone else tell me that I shouldn’t. So once I realized what I needed to do, I got here as quickly as I could.” I searched the room for Noah and Mina, and once I found them, I waited for them to give me some kind approval. Noah nodded at me, and I grabbed Ash’s guitar leaning up against the amp. I fucking dared him to come try to take it from me.
I could sing the song I really wanted to sing to Scarlett. Not that it was bad or anything, but I was supposed to be singing to the married couple, so a song about never being the same after having my heart ripped from my chest probably wasn’t appropriate. I hadn’t really thought much about what I was gonna do before I got up there, but as my eyes roamed the faces in the crowd, it locked on hers and I knew immediately what I would do.
One of the things I loved about Scarlett was the way she was always singing and dancing around the apartment, no matter if she was cooking or doing laundry or getting dressed. One of her favorite songs to sing was this “I Love You” song. She would bounce around the place like a little ray of sunshine singing “La la la la la… La la la la la…” Even though the song was actually about a couple that didn’t make it, I doubted most people would pick up on that, but I knew my angel would understand exactly what I was trying to say.
I stared directly at her throughout the entire song; it was so different from what I was used to singing, but I was desperate to touch her somehow, someway… to make her remember what it was like, just the two of us, how good we were together, how much I loved her. When I finished, I set the guitar down and walked off the stage, directly out of the tent, into the fresh night’s air. I stood there looking up into the starless sky, wondering what happened, clueless on how we made such a disaster of things in such a short amount of time. I heard the footsteps approaching behind me and prayed it was her.
“Mase, we need to talk.”
Nineteen
Lies & Truth
Take a Bow—Rihanna
Sad Beautiful Tragic—Taylor Swift
Falling Down—Rev Theory
Scarlett
Watching Mason sit on that stage and sing “I Love You” to me was one of the most painful things I ever experienced. He looked terrible. I wasn’t sure if he had showered in days, and he definitely hadn’t bothered shaving. His eyes were dull and lifeless, and his voice was so scratchy he was nearly hoarse. But there he was, having come all the way from Austin, to sing one song… to me.
Ash stood on one side of me and Max on the other, but he continued, unfazed by their existence, and reminded me of our times together and why I had fallen in love with him to begin with. He had been assertive and outspoken from day one about wanting me for me and had never shied away from expressing his love for me. He always knew how to make me feel cherished and appreciated.
When he finished the song, he thanked the audience, congratulated the happy couple, and set the guitar down as he walked off the stage and straight outside.
“Let him go,” Ash said at the same time Max said, “Go talk to him.”
I looked back and forth between them, feeling my chest tighten with dread. I knew what I had to do. Looking up into Ash’s eyes, I hated I had to deal with this so soon after the moment we had just shared, but I couldn’t run away from this situation. I had done way too much running.
“Please understand,” I pleaded. “I have to address this here and now. I’m not sure if or when I’ll see him again, and we have a lot of things that need to be said.”
His eyes begged me not to go, but he said, “Be strong, butterfly,” and he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.
I turned to look at Max, and he gave me a half-hearted smile. “I’m gonna tell him. You know it changes everything, right?”
He nodded and hugged me. “We’re right here if you need us.”
I walked outside after Mason, telling myself to put one foot in front of the other to keep myself from turning back. He finally stopped and stared up at the sky, as if he was looking for an answer.
“Mase, we need to talk,” I said as I approached him.
He turned around quickly, and a huge smile was plastered on his face. “I knew you’d come, angel.”
He began to close the gap between us, reaching out toward me, but I put my hand up to stop him. “Don’t. Please don’t.” He looked at me, confused.
“We have a lot to talk about, Mason.”
He hung his head and his shoulders slumped. “I know we do.”
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for days, but your phone has been turned off and your message box is full. I’ve been worried sick, and from the looks of you, justifiably so.”
He looked up at me with his overcast eyes. “I’ve had a rough week. How did you think I’d react to hearing you ran off with him? I haven’t exactly been in the best place mentally or emotionally.”
“Or physically,” I chimed in. “Look at you, Mase. You look like shit.”
“Well I feel like shit, Scarlett. I’m a fucking mess! The person I love most in this world, the person I live for, just up and fucking left me for the asshole I always said she would. Am I supposed to be happy?”
“I didn’t leave you for him, Mason! I left you, because after our conversation last Friday, you made your choice. And that’s fine. Like I told you then, I felt like you were ready to move on, ready to move forward with your career, and that I was afraid I didn’t fit into that picture. And you made it quite obvious I was right with your decisions last Friday, so don’t make me feel bad that I sought out comfort from someone else. I know your bed hasn’t fucking been empty!” I tried hard to keep my voice down, not wanting the other wedding guests to hear our argument, but I was so furious with him.
“Angel, I told you then that I had to play that show. I wouldn’t have missed coming home unless it was really fucking important, and it ended up being our ticket to get on the VanderBlue tour. I came home first thing Saturday morning, and you were gone. You and all of your shit… just gone! I called everyone trying to find you, and I had to find out from Mina that you left with him. You didn’t even talk to me; you didn’t leave a note, nothing… just poof! You left… gone.”
“What was I supposed to do, Mase? I talked to Bentley that night. She told me about the tour and everything else. I was a mess… a fucking mess! I couldn’t believe I had to hear it from her mouth and not yours, so don’t give me shit about not leaving a goddamn no—”
“What the fuck do you mean you talked to Bentley that night?” he interrupted me.
“I called you back that night after the bachelorette party. She answered your phone and told me everything. I was devastated!”
“Nooo!” he growled as he covered his face with his hands and shook his head.
“Yes!” I retorted. “I had to hear it all from that stupid bitch instead of my boyfriend who, up until that moment, I thought loved me. I told you earlier in the day that you were ready to move on, Mase. I knew it, and I guess you realized it too. I’m just sorry I dragged Max into all of this.”
He uncovered his face and looked at me. “Max? What does he have to do with this?”
I looked down at my feet and began kicking the gravel on the walkway. This was the part I feared telling him. I hated that their friendship would most likely be destroyed because of this.
“What about Max?” he asked through gritted teeth.
Still not looking up at him, I answered truthfully, “I was really upset, and I just wanted to drown my sorrows in alcohol, so he
took me back to his place.” I paused for a deep breath. “I needed someone to talk to. We started doing shots and…”
“And what, Scarlett? What. The. Fuck. Happened?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to where I was standing directly in front of him.
Yanking my arm out of his grasp, I lifted my chin and looked him directly in the eye. I was still so mad at him over running back to Bentley, so hurt he could throw away what we had. “I fucked him. I fucked him to try to forget you. I fucked him so you wouldn’t have the honor of being the only person I have ever slept with.”
He didn’t even give me a chance to say another word. He took off back toward the wedding festivities on a rampage.
“Mason, stop! Stop right now! This isn’t his fault! This is about you and me! This has nothing to do with him!” I called after him.
He stopped and turned around. “When he decided to stick his dick inside you, it became about him! I don’t fucking care what the circumstances were. He knew better. He fucking knew better!”
I wasn’t sure where he came from, but all of a sudden Max was walking up behind Mason. “You’re right. I did know better,” he said.
Mason’s head whipped around to look at him. He took off toward him. “You fucking asshole!” he screamed as he punched him in the face without warning. Max stood there, not even attempting to defend himself as Mason reared back to hit him again.
“Nooo!” I ran to both of them. “Stop! Stop this right now!”
“Get out of the way, Scarlett,” Max said, blood trickling down from his nose and lip. “I deserve this.”
Ignoring him, I got in between the two of them, facing Mason. “Stop it right fucking now. We are at Mina and Noah’s wedding, and we are not doing this here.” He took a step back. His hand was still balled in a fist and his entire body was shaking. I had never seen the rage in his eyes that he had in that moment. “This is not Max’s fault. It’s mine— Actually, scratch that; it’s yours! You chose, Mase. You chose your music and your career, and you chose her. End of.”
“I didn’t choose her, Scarlett,” he said, lowering his voice a bit. “I would never choose anyone over you.”
“Really?” I scoffed. “It sure didn’t sound that way that night I was talking on the phone with her. She was in your apartment, and I heard you call out to her to bring you a towel. Or did I just imagine that entire scenario?”
“What? No… you don’t understand,” he tried to explain. “It wasn’t—”
“I absolutely understand, Mason. I get it, okay? It’s over. We are over. We both just need to move on.”
“I didn’t sleep with her, Scarlett.”
“Don’t feed me your lies, Mason. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It does matter!” he said emphatically. “I didn’t fuck her that night.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “‘That night,’ huh? How about this past week? Let me guess… you’ve been sleeping alone, pining after me. That’s the reason for the dark circles under your eyes.”
It was his turn to look down at the ground, ashamed.
“So I’m right then, aren’t I?” Thinking about him in bed with someone else made me feel completely nauseous. “Just her or others too?” I wasn’t even sure why I was asking the question; I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know.
“Not her, Scarlett, just others,” he mumbled.
“Oh my God! Are you fucking serious? How many? How many, Mason?” I demanded, again unsure if I really wanted to know the answer.
“I don’t know. I’ve been really fucked up,” he said as he looked up into my eyes pleadingly. “I’m sorry, angel. I thought you left me for Ash, and I was hurting and felt empty and just wanted to lose myself.”
When he said he didn’t know how many, I lost it. I stepped toward him and slapped the shit out of his face. “You fucking make me sick. You don’t know how many? What is wrong with you?”
“Please don’t do this, angel. I’m so sorry. I haven’t been in my right mind. I just knew that once you were back around him, it would be over for us. Y’all would reconnect with all your old feelings and you would regret your decision of choosing me. And after what I witnessed tonight, my worst fears were confirmed.”
“I never would’ve been in the situation to run back to him if you wouldn’t have abandoned me. If you would’ve made an effort over the last month… if you would’ve been with me instead of her that night like you were supposed to be, none of this would’ve ever happened.” I could see his eyes begin to water, but I didn’t care. I was so pissed off. “You did this. You sent me back to him. And you’re right. He and I share something I can never explain to you. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t love you and I didn’t give our relationship my all, because I did! Right up until the point I had to hear that bitch’s voice on your phone, in your apartment at two o’clock in the fucking morning!”
“Angel, I’m trying to tell you that—”
“I. Don’t. Care. You hear me? I don’t care anymore. It’s over. We are through. I’m done.” I turned around to see Max still standing there, bloody face and all. He reached his hand out to me.
“Please don’t do this,” Mason begged. “I understand why you needed Max. I understand why you turned to Ash. We can get through this. I forgive you. I just need you to forgive me and we can save this.”
I swung around to look at him one final time. “Get off the drugs, Mase. They are making you delusional already. There is nothing left to save. Go follow your dream. I’m gonna go find mine.” Grabbing Max’s hand, we walked away, leaving him standing there. I truly felt in my heart that I would never see him again.
Ash was waiting for us right inside the tent. He took one look at both of us and said, “Let’s get out of here.” Not getting an argument from either of us, we said our goodbyes and took off to the parking lot in silence.
Mason
The drive back to Austin was the loneliest three hours of my life. I felt like I had just died. The happiness I found with her was my reason for living, and the thought of spending the rest of my life with her was my motivation each and every day. My actions over the last week without her was proof I didn’t fucking care about anyone or anything else, myself included.
I had to go there though. I had to hear it from her. I had no fucking idea Bentley had answered my phone that night. Her call had never shown up in the call history, so I was sure Bentley had erased it. Thinking about how she fucked up my life made me so fucking pissed off I couldn’t see straight. I decided it was best to handle that conversation when I got back to Austin. I needed to cool down before talking to anyone, especially her. I needed to talk to the guys first, but as far as I was concerned, she was out. If Jag wanted to take over, I was fine with that, but I wasn’t dealing with that bitch any longer.
And then the Max thing… fuck! Thinking about it gave me a headache. The fact that she ran to him because of Bentley made me even more furious. I was going to kill someone. I still wasn’t sure how she ended up with Ash after Max or where she had gone. It really didn’t matter anymore anyway. I needed a drink in a bad way, and I wasn’t sure that was even going to make a dent in the pain I was feeling.
After returning Boone’s car to him, I got on my bike and headed back to my apartment. It was pretty late at this point, and I hoped I could catch up with Sebastian before he and Cruz headed out for the night. I knew he would have some party favors sure to help take the edge off. I killed the bike and headed straight to their place.
Cruz answered the door, dressed ready to hit the bars, and I could see Sebastian standing at the bar behind him. I didn’t say anything; I just walked in and into the kitchen and grabbed a beer.
“Yeah, come on in, fucker. Make yourself at home. Can I get you something to drink?” Cruz asked facetiously as he shut the door and followed me.
I chugged the entire sixteen-ounce bottle in one drink, threw that one away, and grabbed another. “I need something tonight,” I demanded.
Seba
stian looked up from the joint he was rolling. “What? This?” He looked down at his hands.
“Stronger,” I replied.
“Rat,” Cruz warned. “What happened, man? I don’t think this is a good idea. We leave in a couple of days—”
“Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask for your opinion.” I turned back to Sebastian and asked, “What all do you have?”
“I can get you whatever you want.”
I don’t remember much after that.
Twenty
Fate Will Find A Way
I Can’t Not Love You—Every Avenue
Kiss Me—Ed Sheeran
All My Heart—Sleeping With Sirens
Scarlett
I rode back to the apartment with Max, and Ash followed us in his car. Max and I needed a few minutes alone to discuss the whole messed up situation.
“Are you okay, Max?” I asked.
He grabbed my hand closest to him and squeezed it tightly. “I’ll be fine, Scarlett. Don’t worry about me. You’ve got enough going on in your head than to feel any guilt for me. I knew how he was gonna react. That’s why I came outside. I gave you a few minutes alone to tell him, but I knew once you told him he would come looking for me, and I didn’t want it to be inside in front of people,” he explained calmly. “I would’ve reacted the exact same way if I were in his shoes, which is why I let him hit me once. I deserved that one, but I wasn’t about to let him do it again. I can’t believe you stepped in front of me. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I didn’t want him to hit you. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Yeah, I did,” he replied solemnly. He looked over at me and asked, “How are you holding up? You’ve been on an emotional roller coaster today.”