by SJ Fleming
“Willow?”
“Yes, uh,” Willow stopped stalling. “I don’t...I don’t think she would mind. I don’t know, though. I recently spoke to...uh…” she stopped as the person tending to the soup came back from the river to stir it. It was Saffron, one of her cousins, one under the tutelage of Juniper. She could be trusted as well, Willow figured. She continued.
“I spoke to the Woundmender, and he didn’t seem all too happy with the idea of—”
“Of the Iron One?” Saffron asked. “Bring her in. I’m curious to see!”
“Uh…” Willow picked at the floor nervously. “I need to talk to her first, and I’m not sure if Oak is…”
“Oak be damned!” Saffron laughed. Everything about her, her demeanour, her tone, everything was light and flighty and didn’t take anything she said too seriously. Willow remembered why Saffron and her rarely spoke. “Far as I’m concerned, Oak is just—”
“That’s enough, Saffron,” Juniper interjected. “It’s up to Willow and Suzy to decide what the Iron One does.”
“I... I think I already know what I have to do, Juniper. I... I can’t stand the thought of Suzy being there, alone and unsure of the world she’s in. It hurts me to even think about how often I’ve left her to fend for herself. She doesn’t sleep, you know.”
“So, it’s been nearly a month for her, of constant activity?” Juniper asked. Willow confirmed with a brief nod. “Then,” Juniper declared. “I think she very much so deserves a break. I will speak to the Woundmender about this. I think that this issue may need to come down to a moot, though. I had mentioned that to him, in passing.”
“Oh,” Willow replied. She instantly regretted the almost uncaring monotone she said it with. She did care, and she didn’t want to come down to a Spirits-damned moot. Let alone the fact that it would take hours of waiting for people to talk amongst themselves and come to a vote, the sheer stress of waiting, knowing every single person in the Stamen was judging and being judged by each other, was too much to Willow to handle. There were only a few dozen moots in her entire life, all of them broke apart families with arguments. All of them were about topics of life and death, or damn near close to it.
And to know that a moot could be called for Suzy? Spirits above and around, Willow knew for sure she wouldn’t be able to take that. After a second, Willow realized that she wasn’t exactly sure who ‘wouldn’t be able to take that,’ Suzy or herself or both.
“Get back to me soon, Willow,” Juniper said, walking away from the charcoal fire. Saffron was still there, but she didn’t seem like the best person to talk to about the strife and fears Willow had. She...she almost wanted to talk to Kael, but it seemed rude of her to invoke him again. It would make her seem indecisive. Unable to move forwards without commune with the dead.
She resigned herself to her own indecisiveness, at least for now. She’d make her move later, when she wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed. Whenever that would be. There wasn’t a single moment in recent times Willow didn’t, in some way, feel overtaken by stress and anxieties. She wandered around the Stamen, taking on busywork here and there so people didn’t start to question why she was just lazing about. Willow liked to be productive, to always be doing...something. Sitting still just didn’t feel right to her. Too much energy.
After a few hours, she was feeling good enough to at least make a choice. The sun hung lower in the sky, painting all of Yggdrasil in a gentle orange light. Oak was sitting outside the Stamen, smoking on a clay pipe. A few of his apprentices were with him, all preoccupied by their discussions. They didn’t notice her.
She, however, noticed their conversation. A few key words, plucked out from the air here and there. Abomination, moot, misguided. She didn’t need to hear anymore to figure out what they were discussing. It seemed like an inevitability now. If Oak and Juniper were both talking about moots, Willow knew it was already decided. The question was now simply when.
Suzy met Willow halfway down the path. She was...installing rails, it seemed? Thick vines attached to wooden stakes hammered into the living wood of Yggdrasil. It wasn’t sturdy-looking, but give it a year or two of being allowed to grow and maybe that would change. Suzy didn’t even notice Willow coming up the path. When Suzy finally looked up, her eyes widened in shock.
“Willow! I... did not expect you to return so shortly. Welcome back! I am somewhat preoccupied right now, I apologize.”
“Oh, it’s… Suzy, I just wanted to ask you... some people want to meet you. Some people from the Stamen. I was... I was wondering if you were ok with that?” Willow said, her words stuttered by the strange nature of the question. At least, to her it seemed strange. Nothing about this was normal, and she knew that damn well.
“Oh, of course! I suppose this means that your village has decided that I am not dangerous?”
Willow shook her head. “No, not...not exactly. We still have a moot to have about that.” She saw Suzy’s expression drop. It tore her heart right open. “But...they want to meet you regardless.”
“I see. Shall I come to the Stamen, or shall they come here?” Willow swallowed hard. It was a shockingly hard choice to make. She tried to weigh the pros and cons, but her head was far too cloudy. In the end, she just said the first thing that came to her mind.
“Noon. Come to the Stamen,” Willow mumbled. “I’ll be there with the people who wanted to see you, by the river.” After the titanic struggle to just say those few words, Willow turned, almost on point. Suzy called after her, saying that she didn’t actually know the direction the Stamen was in. Willow’s faced burned once more, her embarrassment directed entirely inwards. She tried her best not to express it with tone or motion. Unfortunately, she ended up sounding cold, moving stiffly. Either way, it wasn’t a good look.
“Go to where this branch meets the main body. Go left. You’ll see it.”
Spirits damn you, she thought to herself. Can’t you do anything right? Speaking! Speaking was your one job and you failed even that!
She tried to keep the insults and self-deprecation to a minimum. Thought that was far easier said than done when Willow was alone with her thoughts on the walk back to the Stamen. She mentally planned out everything, how she would talk to Juniper, how she would prepare tomorrow for Suzy’s visit, how she would keep her safe.
Spirits above, safety was something Willow hadn’t even begun to consider. She was sure that Suzy would be ok. She had to convince herself of that. Why did she tell Willow to come to the Stamen? What was she thinking? It was...it was stupid, it was risky, it was just plain dumb.
No, Willow forced herself to get rid of that train of thought. She wouldn’t go back on this now. Couldn’t go back on this now. It was too late. The ink was dry, the contract written. There was no way she would go back on this now. Damn Oak, and damn everyone who listened to him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Willow paced around the Stamen. Anxiety compelled her motions, dominated her thoughts. Everything she had done was in service to the vain task of relieving the pressure building up inside of her. She had whittled away pieces of wood to dust, and walked around the Stamen two-dozen times. Nothing she did seemed to calm her wayward nerves, though.
There wasn’t much time until Suzy arrived. The sun beat down hard on Willow. Juniper and her three acolytes, Saffron, Lily, and Aspen, gathered near the edge of the Stamen. They all had various gifts and pleasantries prepared—despite Willow repeatedly telling them that Suzy didn’t eat food—they brought a plethora of breads and compotes and drinks. They kept straining their necks, trying to see as far as they could. All of them were clambering to be the first to see the Iron One.
There was a glint in the distance. It was definitely getting closer. It was definitely human-shaped. Her heart leapt a little in her chest. It was Suzy, making her way over at a leisurely pace. She seemed to stop at every flower and mushroom for a few seconds.
“Hello!” Suzy called out as she got close. Everyone waved her over, Willow included. Her
stomach became a pit of nervousness and fear, not quite sure how all of this would turn out. But she still wore a smile. She had to keep herself positive. Willow knew full well that she could mess it up simply by acting like it would mess up. Nerves were like ropes, if they started to fray, you had to crimp them to stop further damage.
Suzy stopped once she got close, taking a long, hard look at the Gaians.
Willow stepped forwards, her arms open for a hug. Suzy embraced her tightly, before letting go and facing the others.
“Hello everyone! I am Suzy! I am very happy to finally be able to visit you all!” She said, gesturing around the Stamen. “Willow has spoken to me a lot of this Stamen. It is even more beautiful than I imagined it would be!” She was beaming as she walked around, the others following behind. After a moment, she realized she was nearly ten paces ahead of everyone else. Suzy spun around, and apologized.
“I should let you lead me around, I suppose. You folks know this place far better than I could ever hope to.”
Juniper stepped forwards, offering a small cup of tea. “Hello, Suzy, I am Treesinger Juniper, one of the leaders of this Stamen. You come here with my blessing, and I hope that you do not feel too alienated by our home. I know very little of the world you came from, but I know it was vastly different from ours.”
Willow cringed just a little. Juniper was…definitely trying too hard to make a good first impression. Suzy didn’t seem to take offense, though.
She accepted the tea and took a tiny sip. Willow figured that she was doing it just to be polite, as opposed to actually suddenly needing to eat and drink.
“Thank you, Treesinger. My time here has been spent mostly adjusting to the new environment, but Willow has helped me immensely. I do not feel as alone as I did upon my re-activation, thanks to her.”
“Yes, Willow is lovely when it comes to helping people,” Juniper smiled, and beckoned everyone to follow her. Willow hoped no one took notice of the intense blush raging across her face. She didn’t deserve the praise, she was just doing what...what she hoped anyone would do.
The group progressed through the Stamen, passing by the Woundmender’s hollow. Willow kept looking over her shoulder, hoping that Oak wasn’t watching through some crack in the door or gap in the wall.
Suzy inquired about every detail and aspect of the Stamen she saw. Where the river’s source came from, how the crops were grown, how they made charcoal for the fires and what technology they had. Juniper seemed particularly delighted at that last question.
The group hurried along to Juniper’s own little section of the Stamen, the elevated growing plots reserved for those plants not edible or wearable but absolutely vital to the village’s function. Over thirty meters above the Stamen floor, in outcroppings of half-woven, half-grown wood, a dozen or so plots filled with dirt and compost gave homes to the more unusual and esoteric of a Treesinger’s charges. Small paths criss-crossed around the plots, each one made of solid living wood.
Strange plants that Willow was entirely unfamiliar with grew beside lumifruits and tamer things like medicinal herbs. Juniper plucked a fresh lumifruit and offered it to Suzy. The fruit lit up, glowing a gentle, light blue. Suzy narrowed her eyes, examining the strange fruit. She turned it around in her hand and... squeezed it until it burst. A wet pop caught everyone’s attention.
Glowing juice dripped down Suzy’s hands, splattered over her arms and soaked into her clothing. She stood completely still, a look of horror frozen on her face. Everything descended into a silence for a few seconds, before the inevitable apologies.
“I... I’m sorry! I thought it was stronger than it really was!”
Juniper cocked her head. “Oh? I see.” She hid a smirk. Willow tried to hide hers, turning away from Suzy.
“It looked like a blue apple!” Suzy tried to explain. She tried to wipe her hands on the age-worn cloth she was wearing, but it just ended up making streaking the glowing all around her. She threw her hands up in anger, and covered her face. “God, I am sorry,” she mumbled. “I am not used to this world at all.”
“Oh dear,” Juniper said, suppressing a smirk. “No, it seems as though you are not. No matter! The lumifruit will dry and deactivate soon. Now, any questions?” Juniper said, patting Suzy’s slightly phosphorescent forearm.
Suzy perked right up and kept on going, asking about how the functions of each plant operated, going into detail about her own personal thoughts and conjecture about their creation. Suzy and Juniper got into theory and talked about things in jargon that Willow strained to understand. Something about...genetic transfer? Making something crisper? Why would making a plant crisper be a priority? But Suzy seemed excited and happy. That was all that mattered.
In fact, Suzy seemed eager to induct herself into the life of the Stamen. Asking questions, offering suggestions, and sharing her thoughts with the group. Every so often, someone would gently let her down, telling her why something she suggested was impractical, or even simply saying that wasn’t what the Stamen did. She took each rejection with stride, nodding along and listening to the group. Willow didn’t want to interject or talk over anyone. So, she simply stood by the sidelines and watched Suzy.
The other members of the Stamen watched from afar, either standing around the river or peeking from their hollows, but no one approached Suzy. No one was actively avoiding her either, Willow noted. It was just a matter of them being unsure of how to react. At least, that’s how Willow thought of it. After nearly an hour of Suzy asking every sort of question and digging as deep into her inquiries as she could, Suzy asked Willow if she could see her hollow.
“Suppose I did promise that, yes,” Willow said. “It’s nothing to look at, though.”
The others didn’t ask any questions. Willow hoped there wasn’t some misinterpretation. She didn’t want the awkward conversation clarifying that Suzy was simply curious about the living conditions.
Willow opened the door to her small home. Suzy peered through and stepped inside. The door closed, almost of its own volition. Willow looked back, only for the sound of collapsing metal to force her attention to Suzy.
She was sitting in the corner of the room, hugging her knees and trying to stifle a sob. Willow wasn’t sure if Suzy could actually cry, but...she sounded like she was trying to, between haggard gasps and choked sighs.
“Suzy?” Willow got down beside her, offering a hand. “What’s...what’s wrong?”
“Everything is different, Willow. I thought I could lie to myself and recover some portion of my old life. But coming to the Stamen has proven that to be impossible. I can no longer pretend that I am comfortable, or that I am not hurting. I am.” She curled up even tighter.
Tears pooled in the corner of Willow’s eyes, but before she could offer comfort, Suzy continued.
“I do not even know if I shall be allowed to stay, or if I am only seeing this before being cast off. I cannot wait, Willow. I must know if this is the new home I must adapt to, or if I shall be a stranger to this world.”
Willow had nothing to say. There was nothing she could say. Everything would just make it worse, more uncertain, more fearful. She put her hand on Suzy’s shoulder. Suzy jerked away.
“Please...Willow…” She whispered. “Do not force me out. I do not want to be alone again.”
“I’ll do...I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re ok. The moot is soon. At least, that’s what Juniper told me. I don’t know what she intends for it, but...I will do my best.” Spirits above, all of this was a mistake. Had there been…anything Willow had done right? She thought she couldn’t hurt Suzy like this, that she wouldn’t let herself. But she had. She had, and now the only thing she could bring herself to do was make promises she didn’t know she could keep.
“Thank you, Willow. Thank you. I am sorry for placing my burdens upon you.”
“You haven’t, Suzy. I shouldered them of my own volition.”
She offered Suzy her hand, and helped her up. No tears streaked do
wn her face, nor did her cheeks have the flush crying often gave. But the rubbers and metals that gave her face form were twisted and bent into an expression of utter despair. Willow pulled her close, hugging her tight. After a few moments, Suzy pushed her away.
“Okay, now...I should be good.”
“Are you sure? You don’t need some time to calm down?”
“I’ve stored the stimuli that caused my panic in a separate section of my hardware for processing later.”
“Excuse me?” Willow cocked her head.
“I am still upset but I can hide it for now.”
That wasn’t...it didn’t seem like a good thing to Willow. But Suzy insisted again on going out. She wanted this to be over and done. Willow nodded, and opened the door.
The two of them walked down the riverside, holding hands. Willow didn’t even register that they had been doing so, only noticing when Suzy’s grip suddenly tightened around her hand. Was something wrong?
Willow saw Oak, standing outside his hollow. His arms were crossed and his face wore a scowl. A sort of staring contest engaged between them. Neither moved, just glared at each other from a distance. After a while, Oak made his move. He walked up to the two of them, keeping his stance and scowl.
“So,” he said once he got close. “This is the Iron One?” His words hit like hail. Cold, unforgiving.
“Hello!” Suzy said, her voice too civil to be genuine. “My name is Suzy! I am—”
“I know. My name is Oak. We haven’t yet determined if you are allowed here.”
“With all due respect, Oak, it would seem that the Treesinger Juniper disagrees. I was invited here by her. As it stands, I am staying here temporarily to see what this village is like, and to understand the people I may one day walk among. I am aware of the coming meeting to determine if I am permitted to stay. However, surely you would rather have your people moot on an issue they are informed on?” She waited a moment, as if expecting a response. When she got none, she continued. “This is their being informed.”