by Kevin Brown
Ghil was full of apologies. He looked at Junsik as an assailant would look at a victim who was puzzled.
“You mean people call a partially erased computer disk a talent?” Junsik joked to ease Ghil’s discomfort.
“That’s right. We are all used goods in that aspect.”
Ghil laughed for a while as if the analogy was especially funny.
“When will we get out of the jail system?”
“It depends on the weight of the mistakes committed by each person. We will be released after we fulfill the number of lives sentenced to us.”
Ghil gazed at the sea.
“It will take very little time outside of the system, although it is a long time here.”
Just then a gentle wave crept up the shore and slid soundlessly over the layer of pebbles; and a rush of energy swept through Junsik’s mind, untangling and scattering his thoughts.
“I am here because of my mistake…”
Junsik suddenly recalled the activities he had been doing through the organization.
Am I doing the right thing?
What Mr. Kim, Miyoung, and I had worked for over the past few years with ‘People Cultivating Happiness’…the efforts of pursuing happiness … this went against the original intent of the camp.
“How can we pay the price if we are here to pay off our mistakes?” he asked.
“We have come to the system having forgotten all our mistakes. Even though I was an operator I do not know why we have forgotten them since that knowledge was completely erased in me. But I do know we can pay the corresponding price for our mistakes only when we know what we did. We may be here because we were falsely charged.”
Ghil was silent for a moment before continuing.
“I don’t think we need to live with the idea of trying to pay off something. Instead, we should try to be happy under the given circumstances. It is my personal opinion that we should consider the inevitable misery and pain that occurs in the course of life as the punishment.”
“I see…” Junsik said and then, remembering what Pachun had told him, asked Ghil if he had found his wife and son here.
“Yes, I have. I did not approach them. It would have been strange to introduce myself as a husband to my wife and a father to my son since they are much older than I am. It would be very hard to convince them who I am by explaining things. On occasion I go to their town and watch them from a distance to see how they are doing. When my wife passed away three years ago I saw her funeral from afar and I wished her a better, more comfortable life in the other world, one with less trouble and pain.”
Ghil deeply inhaled the smell of the sea after talking about his wife and son.
“Christianity says humans are sinners. Buddhists say that life is as short as an instant. They are not wrong. We are here because of our mistakes, and when we are out of here, our long lives will be remembered as a moment.”
When he was finished speaking, Ghil looked out to sea just as he had when they first met.
It seemed like they had told stories that should be shared during the course of a lifetime rather than over just a few hours. Junsik realized it was time to leave. Dusk was spreading and soon it would be dark. He expressed his gratitude to Ghil and stood up. Ghil didn’t move, he just sat staring out to sea.
Now Junsik had some small understanding of why he spent time on the beach.
For him, life on Earth was just a time of waiting.
Reversion 7
Junsik got in his car and realized he’d left his cellphone behind. He unlocked the screen and checked for recent calls. There were five, all made by Miyoung.
He picked one of the records and pressed the send button to return her call. She answered immediately.
“What the heck is going on? Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“Sorry, I was occupied with something.”
“I found out today you had a traffic accident yesterday. I was so worried, and you did not answer no matter how many times I called. Where are you now?”
“I am far away, but just about to go to Seoul.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I am good.”
“I was so worried about you… Please give me a call when you get to Seoul.”
“It will be after midnight.”
“Give me a call regardless.”
“Sure,” Junsik answered, and then ended the call.
His consciousness came back to the reality and he realized he had a headache; there was a load of things to resolve in the future. But right now he started his car and began the drive back to Seoul with the dialogue he’d had with Ghil on Geoje Island running through his mind.
He did not feel relieved, although Ghil had answered the questions that had been torturing him. It wasn’t just the traffic accident that was bothering him, it was being here because of a mistake he’d made that he had no knowledge of.
As expected, he arrived at Seoul after midnight. Just as he was passing through the Seoul tollgate he called Miyoung. She was waiting for his call.
“Are you back?” She asked.
“Yes, I just passed the Seoul toll gate.”
“You must have been quite far away. Where were you?”
“Geoje Island.”
“Geoje? Oh, did you meet the guy I told you about?”
“Yes.”
“How was it?”
“It’s complicated. Would you like to talk over a beer? Is this a good time?”
“Sure,” she said without hesitation.
“I’ll be right there then.”
Junsik stopped the car in front of the condominium complex where Miyoung lived and called her. A few minutes later she came out and got in his car
“Where do you want to go?”
“It’s nice out. How do you feel about going to the river and enjoying the night breeze?”
“Sound good,” she happily replied.
Junsik drove to the Han River, stopping at the convenience store to buy beer and some snacks. Miyoung must have been very curious, but she didn’t ask any questions. Instead, she looked out the window as he drove. They found a wide staircase overlooking the river and sat down.
There were many couples enjoying the warm weather and scenery along the riverside.
“I think I’ll be away for a while to get this sorted out,” Junsik said.
“You are leaving?” Miyoung asked in surprise.
“Yes.”
“Where will you go?”
“I don’t know. I will be away for a few months to straighten out my thoughts.”
“Because of the accident?” She interrogated him since she knew nothing but the accident.
“Not only because of the accident. I have some things to sort out about my future career and life.”
She looked at his face intently. “Can I go with you?”
Her eyes were glittering more than usual with the reflection from the streetlight. She turned her head and gazed at the river.
“It will take a long time,” Junsik said, looking toward the river.
“I will go along with you and take pictures. I have been worried because there is nothing to photograph these days. It will be good for me.”
They were both lost in thought for a while and just sat looking out over the river. Couples sat here and there looking more affectionate than ever.
“You are slow-witted,” she hinted and then put her head on his shoulder.
Then Junsik realized what she meant. He had never thought Miyoung liked him. It had to be because he was slow-witted, as she said.
It had been a while since he had feelings for her. It was hard to say precisely when they started, but he hadn’t been able to deny them since that day in the bookstore. But he hadn’t been brave enough to act on them and he couldn’t read her mind so he didn’t know how she felt.
Junsik was glad she let him know, but felt sorry he had lacked the courage to find out how she felt. She was looking down at the ground now because she w
as embarrassed by being the first to reveal how she felt. so Junsik covered her small hand with his. He felt her tremble. Following his instincts he brought his lips to hers. There was no denying the jolt of electricity that spread through his body when their lips touched. Suddenly they were hugging and kissing each other deeply; neither one wanting to stop what they had taken so long to start. Even when they drew back slightly, the sweetness did not diminish.
“Do you believe in destiny?” he asked.
Miyoung lifted her head slightly off his shoulder and said, “Destiny?”
“Like how we met at the bookstore by accident. How rare is that? I think it was destiny.”
“Yes, things like that rarely happen. Perhaps it is destiny.”
He dropped his eyes to her hand. There was a wooden doll hanging on the end of her cell phone in the shape of a Korean traditional totem pole. It was laughing.
“That’s unusual.”
“This?” Miyoung asked, holding up the wooden doll.
“The Great General Under Heaven. It was my grandfather’s. He died in the Korean War and it is the only thing he left behind. One of his friends gave it to my grandmother who gave it to my father who gave it to me. I’ve kept it in a drawer and only put it on a few days ago. Does it look strange?”
“No, it looks good.” Junsik answered, smiling.
He wanted to enjoy the moment, ignoring everything tomorrow might bring. No matter what kind of mistake brought him to this camp, he could deal with it after being discharged from it. He just needed to think about this life he had now and make it better.
So Junsik enjoyed the riverside and the sweet conversation with Miyoung and didn’t even notice the passing time.
This camp is not too bad, either, he whispered quietly to himself.
Epilogue
After returning from a trip of several months, Junsik resumed his career by working for a mid-sized company. He married Miyoung the following year and had a son and a daughter two years later.
His ordinary life went by swiftly. His children grew up, got married and had their own children. Then one day Junsik was eighty years old and lying in a hospital bed. His doctor told him the name of his disease, but he thought it was just part of the aging process. It could be any disease. People get old and eventually die.
Junsik could only breathe with the aid of the respirator, and it was getting harder. He didn’t know how long he’d lain here with his eyes closed. There was no energy to judge things, or even think. He was barely holding onto the last fragile string of life. Using every ounce of his willpower he opened his eyes. He could see Miyoung sobbing holding his hand, which he could barely feel. His eyes shifted to his son and daughter who were looking at him anxiously.
He had never told them about this world being a camp. He thought they were right rights to make beautiful lives even though they were living in a camp. He did not need to tell them about the camp, to interject it into their lives so he whispered to them in his mind.
Dear Miyoung… and my beloved son and daughter… I am not finishing my life now. Instead, I am moving somewhere else… If I can keep this memory in another camp I want to make connections with you again. Please be happy…
Then he let go of life and fell into a deep sleep, at ease with all that had passed.
After some time a hoarse voice rang harshly in his ears, “The term has expired!”