by Eric Filler
Thereitwouldstay,forever.
***
Thedayofthemixeritwasofcoursealltheotherkidstalkedaboutat school.EventhoughJerididn’tsitatthepopulartables,shestillheardthe conversations.Eventhegeeksanotchaboveherinthesocialhierarchywere going.Shetriedtotuneouttheirinanechatter,butcouldn’t.
Benewasn’ttheretoescortherhome.Shehadn’tseenhimsincehe’d givenherthedress.Perhapshewastooembarrassedtoseeheragain.Atleast thenshedidn’thavetolietohimaboutgoingtothedance.
Whenshegothome,shewentabouteverythingasusual.ShegaveMother herdinneranddidwhatshecouldtocleanupthehouse.Shehadjuststartedon herhomeworkwhentherewasaknockonthedoor.Itwasprobablyoneofthe
neighborstocomplainaboutthecats;theyoftengotintothegarbagecans aroundtheneighborhood.
Itwasn’taneighboratthedoor;itwasamandressedinastrangegraysuit withalotofbrassbuttonsandagraymilitary-stylehatonhishead.Washe fromthepolice?Thenshesawalimousineatthecurb.Hemustbethe chauffeur.“MissJeriPoldar?”
“Yes.Issomethingwrong?”
“Notatall.I’vecometobringyoutotheschooldance.”Thechauffeur studiedherforamoment.“Didyouforget?”
“Ididn’tarrangeforanycar.Youmusthavethewrongperson.”
“Idon’tthinkso,ma’am.Myorderswereveryclear.Iwasinstructedto cometothisaddressandaskforagirlofyournameanddescription.”
“Oh,Isee.”Nowsheunderstood.Whoeverwas“testing”herhadsentthe cartomakesureshewenttothedance,sotheycouldhumiliateherthere.“I’m sorry,butIcan’tgo.Mygreat-grandmaissick.”
“I’mafraidIdon’thaveachoice,younglady.Theysaidifyouwouldn’t comewillingly,Iwassupposedtomakesureyougotthere.”Thechauffeur crackedhisknuckles.Hewasagoodmetertallerthanherandsowidehewould havetroubletogetthroughthedoor.Fromwhatshecouldtell,allthatbulkwas muscle.
“Isee.I’lljustneedafewminutes—”
Therewasaflashofwhitelightandshefoundherselfcladinthepink dress.Sheputahandtoherheadtofinditputup.Therewasevenapink corsagepinnedtoherchest.“Iguesswe’llgonowthen,”shegrumbled.
Shefollowedthechauffeurtothecar.Heheldthedooropensoshecould climbintotheback.Shedidn’tseeanyofhermysteriousbenefactorsthere.The carwasempty.Great,shewouldshowupatthedanceinafancylimoandthen havetogetoutofitalone.Everyonewouldseewhatalosershewasthen.
Shewantedtocrossherarmsoverherchest,butthestupidcorsagegotin theway.Shetriedtotakeitoff,butitreappearedamomentlater.Withagroan, sheputherhandsinherlapandstaredoutthewindow.Benewasinonthis.He hadprobablyarrangeditallhimself.Thebastard.
Thecararrivedattheschool’sgymnasium.Shelookedoutthewindowsto seenoonearound.Theymustallhavegoneinsidealready.Shedidn’twaitfor thechauffeur;sheopenedthedoorandranoutbeforeanyonecouldseeher.She wastemptedtorunhome,butthechauffeurwouldjustcatchherandbringher back;heknewwhereshelived.
Sheploddedupthesidewalk,tothefrontdoors.Oneofherteachers mannedafoldingtablewithapenandstackofnametags.“Name?”
“JeriPoldar.”
Thewoman’seyesnarrowedasshesearchedthroughthetags.“Herewe are,”shefinallysaid.“Areyoubyyourself?”
“Yes.”
“Thenoffyougo.”
Jerinodded.Shefixedthenametagtotheoppositesideofherchestfrom thecorsage.Thenshetrudgedintothegym.Thebandonthestagesetupatone endofthegymplayedaslowsongshedidn’tknow.Shetookafewstepsaway fromthedoorstowatchasgirlsandboyspairedofftodance.Astheystaggered acrossthefloor,shewentovertotherefreshmentstableforaglassofpunch.
Thenshesatdownonthebleacherstowaitforthisnightmaretoend.
Asexpected,nooneaskedhertodance.Nooneevenlookedinher direction.Itwasasifshewereinvisible.Wasthisallhertormentorswanted,for hertosithereandwatchtheotherkidsawkwardlydance?Ifthatwasthebest theycoulddo,shecouldtakeit.Shedidn’tevencare—
Shecouldn’tfinishthisthoughtasshediscoveredshehadtearsinhereyes.
Shewipedtheseawaysavagelywithonefinger.Maybethesekidscouldn’t danceandmaybenoneofthemwouldgetmarriedandlivetogetherforever,but forthemomenttheylookedsohappy.Thejoyontheirfacesmadeherwantto runawayandhide.
It’snotfair,shethought.Sheshouldhaveboyslininguptodancewithher.
Herlasttimeinhighschoolthat’showitwouldhavebeen,exceptitwouldhave beenothergirls.Still,astheprettiest,mostpopulargirlinschool,shewould havehadalineofadmirersaslongasthisstupidgym.Theyhadtakenallofthat fromher,reducedhertothishomelygeekwhocouldn’tdrawasingleglance.
Aboyclearedhisthroat.“MayIhavethisdance?”heasked,hisvoice cracking.
Sheturnedandgasped.Theboylookedlikeanolderversionofthegeek Teryhadbeenwiththickglasses,freckles,andblackhairinabowlcutthatstuck upintheback.Heworeapowderbluesuitthatonlymadehimlookmore ridiculous.Yetinhisblackeyesshesawsomethingfamiliar.“Bene?”
“It’sme,moreorless,”hesaid.
“Butyou’re—”
“Ageek?Iknow.”Hesatdownnexttoher.“Ibeggedthemtoletmetake youtothedance.Theyfinallyletmecomehere,but—”
Heletthatthoughthangintheair.Buthehadgivenupeverythingforher.
Hehadletthemturnhimintoageeklikehersohecouldbewithher.“Areyou goingtobelikethisforever?”
“Yes.”Heputahandonhershoulderasshebegantocry.“Don’tcry,Jeri.
It’snotyourfault.I’mtheonewhowantedthis.Iwanttobewithyou.Ilove you.”
“Iloveyoutoo,”shesaid.Shekissedhimasshehadontheporch.Only thistimehedidn’ttrytopullawayfromher.
Whentheyfinallyhadtocomeupforair,hesaid,“Comeon,let’sdance.”
***
JeriandBeneweren’telectedthekingandqueenofthedance.They probablyhadn’treceivedanyvotes.Jerididn’tcare.AslongasshehadBeneat herside,noneofitmattered.Evenifhelookedlikeageeknow,itdidn’tmatter.
Hewas hergeekandthat’sallthatcounted.
Asthekingandqueendanced,JeriandBeneslippedaway,backtothe limo.Theymadeoutlikethekidstheywerewhilethedrivertookthemhome.
“Ican’tbelieveyoudidthisforme,”shesaid.“Yougaveupsomuch.”
“WhatIgotbackissomuchbetterthanwhatIgaveup.”
“Saythatwhenyou’rebeingshovedintoalockerwithawedgie,”shesaid withasmirk.
“Ialreadyhave.That’swhyIhaven’tbeenabletoseeyoulately.”
“Oh,Isee.It’sreallythatbad?”
“Hey,don’tworry.It’sjustafewyearsandthenwe’llbebigenoughtoget marriedandstartafamilyofourown.”
“Youreallythinkthey’llletusdothat?”
Rightoncue,thelimousinecametoastop.Jerilookedoutthewindowto seetheyweren’tatherhouse.Itcouldn’tbeBene’shouseeitherbecausethere werenohousesanywhere.Itwasjustastretchofabandonedroad.Shegroped forthebuttontoputdownthedivider.“Whyhavewestopped—?”
Beforeshecouldfinish,thedriverturnedtofaceher.Therewasanevil smileonhisfaceashestuckapistolthroughthespacebetweenthem.She staredatthebarrelofthegunandbracedherselffortheend.
Butthenthebarrelturned.Itspatonebullet.BloodwashedoverJeriwhile therestofherworldwentsilent,herearsringingfromth
eshot.
Beneslumpedtothefloorofthelimousine,abloodyspotinthecenterof hischest.Jeriscreamedandthenleaneddowntotakehiminherarms.Itwas toolate;hewasalreadydead.
Shehadneverseenabodylikethisbefore.IntheSpaceCorpsshehad alwaysbeensohighabovetheactionthatshe’dneverhadtowitnessthemessa gunshotmade.She’dneverhadbloodcoverherhandsorhadtoseethestill, lifelesseyesthatstaredatnothing.Thatitwasthemanshe’dlovedonlymadeit worse.
Jeribackedagainstthedoor.Sheclawedfranticallyatthereleaseuntilshe
managedtogetitopen.Shedroppedtothegroundandthenrolledoverontoall fours.Amomentlater,thecontentsofherstomachspilledoutontotheground.
Evenasshethrewup,thetacticalpartofherbrainscreamedthatshehadtorun away,beforethechauffeurdecidedtofinishheroff.
Toolate.Hegrabbedherbythehairandyankedherheadbacksharply.
Painburnedthroughherscalpwhiletherestofhervomittrickleddownherchin tosplatterontoherdress.Shebegantosobviolentlyasshefeltsomethingcold pressedtoherneck.Fromthesharpnessoftheedge,sheknewitwasaknife.
HeprobablywantedtomakehersufferlongerthanpoorBene.
“Didyouandyourboyfriendreallythinkyoucouldbeatthetestlikethat?”
thechauffeurhissed.
Jericouldn’tsayanything.Betweentheknifeandherfear,shecouldn’tget anysoundoutofherthroat.Thechauffeurpulledtheknifebackforamomentto roughlyshoveherbodybacktowardsthelimo,soshecouldseeBenesprawled onthefloor.Shewantedtolookaway,butthechauffeurheldherheadinplace.
“Thereisnoescapeforyou,understand?There’snowayyoucanbeatthe system,isthere?”
“No,”shesqueaked.
“That’sright.Now,I’mgoingtogiveyouonelastchance.Youcaneither promisetobeagoodgirlanddowhatyou’retold,orI’llcutyourthroatoutand leaveyouherewithyourboyfriendfortheanimals.”
Thebraveanswer,Jeriknew,wastotellhimtocutherthroat.That’swhat aromanticheroinewouldhavesaid.Shewouldhavesaidshewouldratherbe deadthannottobewithBeneanothermoment.Butshewasn’taromantic heroine.Shewasn’taSpaceCorpscaptainanymoreeither,notfromthetearsin hereyes,thefearinherbelly,andthesoppingwetpantiesbetweenherlegs.She wasjustalittlegirl,asillylittlegirlwho’dhadacrushonaboythatshe’d thoughtwouldlastforever.
“I’ll…I’llbegood,”shewhimpered.“Ipromise.Pleasedon’thurtme.I don’twanttodie!”
Therewasalengthypause,duringwhichJeriwassurehewoulddouble-crossherandcutherthroat.Thentheknifepulledaway.Hepattedheronthe head.Asifshewereafaithfuldog,hesaid,“Goodgirl.There’sjustonemore thingtodo.”
Shecouldimaginewhatthatwouldbesincetheywereoutinthemiddleof nowhere,allalone.“Butyousaid—”
Heslappedheracrossthefacewithoneglove.Thenheheldouthishand.
Ononefingershesawaringwithashinyblackstone.“Kissmyring,Jeri.That willsealyourpromise.”
Shedidn’twasteanytime.Sheleanedforwardtoputherlipstohisring.
Themomentshedid,itwinkedatherwithwhitelight—thesamewhitelight she’dalwaysseenbeforeshechanged.Rightoncue,shefoundthechauffeur growinglargerbeforeher.Sheknewitwasn’tthathewasgettingbigger;she wasgettingsmaller.Shecontinuedtoshrinkuntilonlyherheadremained visiblefromthetentthathadbeenherdress.
Thenthedresssplitintotwo.Theupperpartshrankintoawhitesailortop trimmedwithdarkgreen.Thebottompartshrankintoadarkgreenskirtand whitekneesocks.Herformalshoesbecametinysaddleshoes.Whensheputa handtoherhead,shefeltabowatophairthatwentdowntoherwaist.Atress thatdangledoverhershoulderwasmoregoldenthanplatinum.
Thechauffeurhelpedhertoherfeetagain.Hetookherhandtoleadher overtothelimo’srearviewmirroronthepassenger’sside.Initsheconfirmed thatshe’dbecomeatoddleragain.Aprettytoddler,nolongerwithfrecklesor stupidglasses.Thechauffeurpattedthebowonherhead.“Fromnowonyou’re goingtobeagoodgirl,aren’tyou?”
“Yes,sir.”
“You’regoingtoforgetallaboutthatsillydreamofbeingaspaceexplorer andstudysoyoucanfindyourselfagoodhusband,aren’tyou?”
“Yes,sir.”
“That’smygirl.Sinceyou’vebeensogood,here’satreatforyou.”The manhandedheradoll.Ithadprettyblondhairlikehers,onlyinpigtails.It woreapinkdresswithlaceontheskirtandsleeves.Jerihuggedittoherchest.
“Now,you’dbettergettoclass.”
TherewasaflashoflightandJerifoundherselfinanunfamiliarroom.
Thereweretoyseverywhere:dolls,dollhouses,stuffedtoys,andsoforth.Other littlegirlsplayedwithmostofthese;theyallworeasailorsuitlikehers.But noneofthemwereasprettyasher.Shewastheprettiest.Shewasthebest.
Alittlegirlwithlongbrownhairranuptoher.“Hi!I’mShewi.You wannapwaydowswithmeandmysister?”
Thelittlegirllookedfamiliar.Hernamesoundedfamiliartoo.Jeri shruggedthisasideandthennodded.“Awwight.”ThenshefollowedSheri overtoacorneroftheroom,wherealittleraven-hairedgirlsat.
“ThisisTewi,”Sherisaid.
“Hi,”Terisaid.Sheclutchedherdollytightertoherchest.
“Wetwins,butI’mowder,”Sherisaid.
“Arenot,”Terisaid.
“Aretoo.”
“Wet’sjustpwayawweady,”Jerisnapped.Thesistersshutupandnodded.
Thentheybegantoplay.
Chapter9
Jerilikedthebiggirl’sschoolalotbetterthanpreschool.Theystillhadto getupearly,whichshehated,butatleastnowshedidn’thavetobathewith somestranger.She,Sheri,andTericouldallgoatthesametime.Thatmadethe showersmorecomfortable.Aftersheshowered,Jericouldputherhairintocute pigtailsnowinsteadofleavingithangloose.Theonlyproblemwiththatwas Terididherhairthesameway,thecopycat.JerihadcomplainedtoMiss Sundre,buttheoldwomansaidpigtailswerecommonforlittlegirls,soJeri couldn’thavethemtoherself.
MissSundredidn’tunderstandtherealreasonforJeri’scomplaint.She didn’twant Teritolooklikeher.Teriwithherboringblackhair,whohardlysaid morethantwowordsexcepttohersister,wasn’tsomeoneJeriwantedpeopleto associatewithher.Shewantedpeopletothinkshewastheprettiestgirlin school.
Thatwasalreadytoughsinceshe,Sheri,andTeriwerethelittlest.They wereonlyfivewhilemostofthegirlsintheirclassesweresevenoreveneight.
ThatledsomeofthegirlstopushJeriaroundoractlikeshedidn’texist.But theywerejustjealous.Whenshegotbigger,they’dhavenochoicebutto recognizeherfortheprettiestnotjustinschool,butthewholeworld.
Despitethosechallenges,shelikedhernewschool.Shelikedcookingand sewing.Itwasalotmorefunthanplayingdolliesalldaylong.Notthatshe didn’tliketoplaydollies,butafterawhileitgotboring.Andlearningtosew andcookwouldhelphergetahusbandoneday.Notthatsheneededanyhelpto getahusband;thecookingandsewingwouldhelpherto keephim.That’swhat MissSundreandMissLundysaidanyway.Theysaidamancouldmarryany woman,buthewouldonlystaywithonewhoknewhowtotakecareofhim.
Teriwasskepticalofthis.AtlunchwhenJerirepeatedwhatherteachers hadsaid,Terigrumbled,“Whatdotheyknow?Theydon’thaveanyhusbands.”
“That’sbecausethey’reold.Oldwomencan’tgethusbands.”
“Theyprobablyhadhusbandswhentheywereyoung,”Sheriadded.
“Yeah,right,”Terisaidandthenwentbacktohe
roatmeal.
SometimesJeriwishedtheycouldmakeTerigoaway,butshewasSheri’s sister.Hertwinsister,thoughtheydidn’tlookalike.Sherihadprettybrownhair whileTerihadstupidblackhair.WhenJerihadbroughtthisup,Terisnapped,
“Notalltwinslookalike.”
Jerididn’tunderstandwhyTerialwayshadtobesomean.She’dbeenthat wayeveninpreschool.She’dbeenthatwaysincethefirstdayJerishowedupin
school.BetweenherattitudeandcopyingJeri’shair,itwasclearTerididn’tlike her.Shewasprobablyjealousliketheothers.
AfterlunchwasJeri’sfavoriteclass:childrearing.Theygottoplaywith dollies,buttheseweren’tliketheonesinpreschool.Thesewerelikereal babies.Theyeachgotababyandhadtolearntochangeherdiaper,tofeedher, andtoholdhertherightway.Sometimesthebabieswouldcryandthegirls wouldhavetomakethemstopwithouthurtingthebabies.
JerihadnamedherbabyBene.Theyweren’tsupposedtobenamed,but Jerididn’tcare.Shewantedherbabytobe herbaby,notjustsomepieceof plastic.ShetoldSherithisandSheridecidedtonameherbabytoo.Beingthe blabbermouthshewas,Sherihadtotellhersister.Teriscoffedatthem.“That’s stupid.They’renotrealbabies.”
“Sodon’tnameyoursthen,”Jerisaidandturnedaway.Shedidn’tneed Tericopyingheragainanyway.
MissLundycameovertopatJerionthehead.“That’sverygood,young lady.”
“Thankyou,MissSundre.”
“It’seasyforherbecauseshestillisababy,”ameangirlwhisperedandher friendsnickered.Butthensomethingstrangehappened:foramomenttherewas aflickeroflightandthenthemeangirlbegantoshrink,untilshewasevenlittler thanJeri.Heruniformbecameasailorsuit,thekindofoutfitthepreschoolers wore.Anothermomentandthemeangirlwasgone.
“Didyouseethat?”sheaskedSheri.
“Seewhat?”
“Thatgirl.Sheturnedlittleandthenshedisappeared.”
“Whatgirl?”
“Overthere,”Jerisaidandpointed.