by Eric Filler
“Youhadtohavedonesomethingtomakehimmad.”
“Ididnot!”
“Didtoo!”
Jerisighed.Despitethatsheknewshewasn’treallysix,sometimesshelet herselfactthatway.“Look,youknowhowheis.Hegotboredwithus.Itwas boundtohappen.”
Sheriharrumphedatthis.“It’sstillnotfair.”
Theyreachedtheirprimarysourceofwater,aholethatafteritrainedfilled withmuddy,rustywater.Itwasn’tverysanitary,whichprobablyaccountedfor someofTeri’ssickness.Still,therewerefewothersafeplaceswheretheycould findwater.Fountainsinthetrainstationorintheparkwouldgetthemcaught andtheydidn’thavethemoneytowalkintoadrugstoretobuyanything.
Inabushnearbywasanoldcoffeecantheyoftenlefttheretocollectwater.
ShedippeditintothewatertofillwhileSheriandTeristoodaslookouts.Asshe filledthecan,Jeriwasgratefulthewaterwastoomurkyforhertoseea reflectionofwhatshe’dbecome.
***
Withtheirfoodandwaterforthedaysecured,theywalkedtotheotherend ofthetrainyard,wherearustytruckrested.Thebedofthetruckwasbig enoughthattheycouldspreadouttodividethefoodamongstthemselves.As alwaysSherimadethisachorebydemandingmorethananequalshare.“We didmoreofthework.Whyshouldshegetasmuch?”
“She’syoursister.Doyouwanthertogetsicker?”
“It’snotgoingtomatter.We’reallgoingtodie,”Sherigrumbled.She turnedawaywithherportionofthefood.
JerihelpedTeritositupandthentookoneofthecinnamonrollsfromthe girl’spocket.Shedippeditinwatertosoftenitenoughtomakeitedible.
“Thankyou,”Teriwhispered.Shetooktherollwithatremblinghandandthen
begantonibbleatit.
Despiteherownhunger,Jeriforcedherselfnottoboltherfoodallatonce.
Whenitwasgone,theywouldhavetoscavengemore,andthatwouldn’tbeuntil tomorrow.Thetrainstationkitchenthrewoutmoregarbage,butbythe afternoontheotherhoboswouldbeuptofightoverit.Aswell,herstomachhad becomesodelicatethatifsheatetoomuchatonce,shewouldthrowmostofit up.
Theotherswerejustascareful.JerihadtoactuallyadmonishTeriinorder togethertofinishthecinnamonroll.AsTericlosedhereyestosleep,Jeriputa handtothegirl’sforehead.Itdidn’tfeeltoowarm,notyet.
Jerileanedbackinthetrucktostareupatthesky.Thebadthingaboutthe truck’spositionwasitallowedhertoseethebuildingwhereshehadonce worked.Sheinevitablyfoundthetopfloor,whereTai’sofficewas.Whatwas hedoingupthere?Whodidhehaveworkingforhimnow?
Assheoftendid,shewonderedwhyTaihadnotjustkilledthem.Ifhewas reallythatboredofthem,hecouldhaveeasilykilledthem.Hecouldhavemade themintoembryosagainorsooldtheyturnedtodust.Insteadhemadethem intolittlechildrenwhohadtoscurryaroundlikeratsfortheirfood.She supposedthatwaspartofhissickfun,tomakethemsufferbeforethey eventuallydied.
Itwasevenworsenowthatsherememberedwhoshereallywas.Shehad nottoldSheriorTerianythingaboutthatyet;shedidn’tknowhowtobroachthe subjectwiththem.Theywouldn’tbelieveherthattheyhadoncebeenspace explorers,thattheirwholeworldhadoncebeenadifferentplace,oneruledby women,wheregirlsdidn’thavetoworryaboutfindinghusbands.She rememberedthisnow,butshewastoolittletodoanythingaboutit;shecould barelykeepherselfaliverightnow.
Sherihadfinishedeatingforthemoment.Sheleanedagainsthersisterand grimaced.“Maybeweshouldtakehertoahospital.”
“Youknowwhatwillhappenthen.”
“Anorphanagemightnotbesobad.Wewouldatleasthavearoofoverour heads.Andfoodthatisn’tsostale.”
Jerididn’tsayanything.Theyknewwhathappenedintheorphanages.
Theywereusedmostlyasworkcamps;thegirlswerechainedtosewing machinesalldaytomakecheapclothes.Therewasfood,butitwasnotmuch fresherandnotmuchmoreplentiful.Intheendtheywouldbedrivenuntilthey diedandthentossedintothetrashtoendupinthedump.
Jeriknewthisbecauseshehadseenthebodies.Theyweredroppedoffin thenight,whentheythoughtnoonewouldsee.Thefirsttimeithappened,Jeri
hadscuttledoutofheroventowatch.Therewasnoburialorprayersorrituals ofanykind;theplasticbagsthatcontainedthebodiesweredumpedinaheap andleftbehindfortherats,birds,andworms.Afterthetruckhadgone,Jerihad openedonebagtoseethecorpsesofgirlsaboutherage.Shehadrecognizedthe coarsebrowndressesasthoseoforphangirlsshehadsometimesseenwhenshe wasstillanadult.
JeriturnedtoSheriandsaid,“Eitherwaywe’lldie,butatleastthisway we’refree.”
“Freeforwhat?Toliveinadumpandeatscraps?”
“You’dratherdiechainedtoamachine,likeaslave?”
SheriglaredatJeriforamomentandthensnuggledclosertohersister.She wassoonasleeptoleaveJeritowatchoverthem.Withasigh,Jeristaredupat theskytowatchthegraycloudsgather.Theywouldhavetoreturntothedump inafewhoursbeforeitrained,butatleastthentherewouldbefreshwater.Jeri smiledalittleatthat.
Chapter13
Theyhadstayedawayfrombegging.Beggarsweretooeasytocatchonthe streets.ButnowJerididn’thaveanychoice.Teriwastoosicknowforthemto hopealittlestalebreadandmustywaterwouldhelp.Sheneededmedicineand theonlywaytogetthat—otherthantoturnherovertothegrown-upsatthe hospital—wastobegforwhattheyneeded.
“Ishouldbetheonetogo,”Sherisaid.“She’smysister.”
“That’swhyyoushouldstay.Sheneedsyou,”Jerisaid.Theyhuddledin therefrigerator,whereTerishiveredunderapileoftatteredburlapsacks.Sheri moppedatthesweatonhersister’sforehead.Itwouldn’tbelonguntilthefever killedTeri,unlesstheycouldgetmedicineforher.
ThemorepracticalreasonforJeritogowasthatthedresstheyhad scavengedfitherbetterthanSheri.Itwasapowderbluedresswithpuffy sleevesthatwastornaroundtheskirtandsplatteredwithtomatosauce,but otherwiseingoodshape.Jerihadalreadyputthedressonandwithstripsof clothtiedherhairintopigtailsthatshehopedwouldmakeherlookcuter.Acute littlebeggarwasmorelikelytobesuccessfulthanonewholookedasifshe’d spentthelastsixyearsintheforestbeingraisedbywolves.
Sheriactuallygaveherahug.“Goodluck.”
“Thanks.”
“Anddon’ttaketoolong.”
“I’lltry.”
JeribentdowntokissTeriontheforehead.Thensheclimbedoutofthe refrigeratortomakeherwayintothecity.Shepattedherskirtandhairself-consciouslyasshewalkedpastthefrontofthetrainstation,intoacrowdof people.Shelookeddownatherfeetandhurriedasfastasshecould,before anyonecouldstopher.
Whenshesawapolicemanahead,herstomachchurned.Shetriedtolook nonchalantassheapproachedhim.Ashelookedherway,shepressedupclose tothenearestadult,tolookasifshebelongedtohim.Thepolicemantippedhis capather,butdidn’tsayanything.Thissoothedherstomachabit.
Traditionallyabeggarwouldsitonacornerwithacuporhatforpeopleto throwdonationsin.Monetarydonationsprobablywouldn’tdomuchgoodin thiscase,exceptasalastresort.Themedicinetheywouldneedwouldbevery expensivesheimagined,morethanshecouldprobablyraisethroughsimple panhandling.
Instead,shewenttothenearestdrugstore.Shelookedaroundforamoment
asshesteppedinside.Shesawthecashierringingupateenagedgirlwithdark redhaircladinablackleatherjacket.Thesodajerkwasscoopingicecreamfor alittleboyaboutJeri’sage.Hertummyrumbledatthesightandsmelloftheice cream;howlongsinces
hehadlasthadanyicecream?Thatwassomethingshe couldn’tscavengeoutofagarbagecan.
Sheshookthesethoughtsawaytomakeherwaytothebackofthe drugstore,tothepharmacy.Thepharmacycounterlookedsotallnow,likea mountain.“Excuseme?”shechirped.Shewaitedafullminutebeforeshetried again.“Hello?Canyouhelpme?”
Anoldmaninawhitecoatfinallypeeredovertheedge,downather.She shiveredatthis,butforcedherselftostandherground.“Areyoulost,littlegirl?
Where’syourdaddy?”
“Mydaddyissick.Heneedsmedicine.”
“Isee.Doesyourdaddyhaveaprescriptionfromadoctor?”
“No.Hecan’tgotoadoctor.”Shelookeddownsheepishlyatthefloor.
“We’retoopoorfordoctors.”
Itdidn’ttakemucheffortforhertobegintocry.“Hisforeheadissohot andhe’sshivering.Mommyputlotsofblanketsonhim,buthe’sstillcold.”
“Can’tyourmommytakeyourdaddytothehospital?”
“Mommysaysthey’remoreexpensivethanadoctor.”
“Oh,Isee.Andyouthoughtyoucouldgetthemedicinehere?”
Shenodded.Shepattedherdresswithitsnonexistentpockets.“Idon’t haveanymoney,butI’llpayyouback.Honest.OrIcandochores.Mommy saysI’magoodhelper.Icansewandcookandclean—”
Themandisappearedfromview.Sheworriedhemighthavegonetocall thepolice.Thatwasuntilhecamedownfromhishighperch.Hekneltdownto lookherintheeye.“Don’tworry,sweetheart,we’llhelpyourdaddy.Here’s somemedicineforhim.Youtellyourmommytogivehimapillwitheach meal.”
“Yes,sir.”Shetookawhitepaperbagheheldout.Thensheleaned forwardtokisshischeek.“Thankyousomuch,mister.IpromiseI’llpayyou back—”
“Don’tyouworryathingaboutthat,sweetheart.Youjustrunalongand givethattoyourmommy.”
“Yes,sir.”
Shekissedhimonthecheekagainandthenhurriedoff.
***
Withthebagclutchedtightlytoherchest,Jeriscurriedalongforafew blocks,untilsheheardascreamfromanalley.Sheturnedtoseetheredheaded
girlfromthedrugstoresittingonthegroundnexttoabrunetteteenagerinthe leatherjackettheredheadhadbeenwearing.Thebrunettetriedtogrababottle ofalcoholfromtheredheadedteenager,whojerkeditaway.
“Comeon,Kari,don’thogitall!”thebrunetteshouted.
Kari?No,itcouldn’tbe.Orcouldit?ThegirlhadredhairlikeKari’shad been.Theagedifferencedidn’tmeananything,notwithTaiLecau;Jerihad onlytolookdownatherselftoknowthat.Wasthiswhathadhappenedtoher?
“Whatareyoulookingat?”thebrunettesnapped.
Jeritookastepbackassherealizedthegirlhadspokentoher.
“Nothing,”Jeriwhispered.
Thatwasn’tenoughforthebrunette,wholeapedtoherfeetandstomped towardsJeri.Whileshecouldtrytorun,Jeriknewshecouldn’toutrunthe teenagerandthecommotionwouldlikelydrawpolicescrutiny.Itwouldbe bettertotakethegirl’sbullyingandthengetthemedicinebacktoTeri.
ThebrunettesnatchedJeri’sarmtoyankherintothealley.“You’dbetter nottellanyoneaboutthis,”thegirlsnarled.
Karigottoherfeet.Sheputahandontheothergirl’sshoulder.“Hey, comeon,she’sjustakid.Shedoesn’tevenknowwhatwe’redoing.Doyou?”
“No,”Jerimumbled.
KarikneltdowntolookJeriintheeye.Whenshesawtheteenager’sgreen eyes,sheknewitwasthesameKarifromTai’soffice,theonewhohadtriedto rallythemtofightbackagainsthim,forallthegoodithaddoneforeitherof them.KaribrushedoneofJeri’spigtailsandsaid,“Youjustrunalongandplay, allright?”
“Yes,ma’am.”
“Andthat’sareallyprettydressyou’rewearing.Youlookjustlikea princess.”
“Thanks.”Jeri’scheekswarmedatthecompliment.
Karistoodupandsaidtoherfriend,“Comeon,wegottogettowork anyway.”
“Yeah,Iguess.”ThebrunetteletJerigo,butbeforeshedid,theireyes met.Inthatmoment,JerisawTaiLecau’sblackeyes.Jeriwhimperedasshe waitedforsomethingbadtohappen,butthegirljustglaredather.
“Comeon,Krisee,”Kariwhined.“Leavethekidalonealready.”
“Fine.”Kriseejoinedherfriendandtheystartedoutofthealley.Kari handedthebottleofalcoholtoKrisee,whoshoveditfiercelyintoapocket.
“Stupidbabyshouldn’tberunningaroundonherownanyway.”
Themomentthegirlswentaroundthecorner,Jeriwasblindedbyaflashof light.Shecouldfeelherselfgettingsmallerandsmaller.Thebagofpills
slippedfromhertinierfingers,totheground.Herhairsprungloosefromits pigtails.Whiletherestofhergotsmaller,herhairdidn’t,untilitactually draggedonthegroundalongwithmostofherdress.
Whenitwasover,thepuffysleevesofherdressdroopedpastherelbows.
Shecouldhardlyshuffleforwardinthenowtent-likedressorevenbenddownto pickupTeri’spills.Shewasababynow;fromthelackofadiapershewas probablythreeyearsold.“It’snotfair,”shewhinedtoherself.Shedropped ontothegroundtosob.
Shewastrappedhere.Ifshetriedtogooutontothestreetslikethis,people wouldnoticeforsure.Theywouldassumeshewasalostlittlebabywhoneeded takenbacktohermother.Shecouldn’texplaintothemhermotherlivedinthe dump.
Afterafewminutesofsobbing,sheforcedherselftogetup.Terineeded thepills.EvenifJeriwasatoddlernow,shestillhadabiggirljobtodo.But how?
Withsomeeffort,shemanagedtoslideoutofthedress.Naked,she wanderedalongthealleyforanythingshecouldusetocoverherself.Ofcourse therewerenolittlegirldressesthrowninthedirtforhertowear.
Shewasabouttogiveupandthrowherselfbackontothegroundtosob againwhenshesawwhatsheneeded.Itwasanoldrazorbladepressedintothe ground.Someonehadprobablydroppeditagesagofromtherustonit.Still, withthatshemightbeabletodosomethingaboutherdress.
Shetooktherazorandthenbegantohackawayattheskirtforthedress.
Theproblemwashertoddler’smusclesweresoweakthatshewasexhaustedby thetimeshemadeatinycut.Shehadtostoptowipesweatfromherforehead andcatchherbreath.Butatleastshehadaholenow.Shestucktwochubby fingersintheholeandthenbegantopullatthefabric.Slowlyittoreaway,until mostoftheskirtunraveled.
Shewouldhavelikedtohackoffthesleevestoo,butitwouldbetoomuch work.Shehadspenttoomuchtimeinthisalleyalready.Instead,sheslippedthe shorndressbackon.Theskirtwentdowntoonlyherkneesnow,tomakeher appearsomewhatnormal.
Itwasnearlysixo’clock,stillrushhouronthestreets.Inthebustleofthe peoplereturningtotheirhomes,onelittlegirlinamangled,ill-fittingdress shouldn’tbetoonoticeable.Theonlyproblemwasshewassosmall,people didn’tnoticeher.Shehadtodarttoandfrotoavoidbeingknockedtothe ground.
Bythetimeshereachedthedump,shewasexhaustedonceagain.She barelyhadthestrengthtoliftthefenceasidetoscurrythroughtheopening.She
thoughtofTeriandforcedherselftoruntowherethetwinswaitedforher.
Asshereachedtherefrigerator,shehadahorriblevisionthatshewould findSheriandTerireducedtotoddlersaswell.Sheimaginedthemtrapped inside,toolittleandweaktocrawlout.Thispromptedhertocallout,“Shewi?
Tewi?Owyouawwight?”
Aheadofblackhairpoppedoutoftherefrigerator.Jeriwasrelievedtosee Sheriwasstillthesamesizeasbefore.AtleastuntilSheribegantolaughather.
“What?”
“You’r
eababy!”
“Amnot!”Toprovethisshetriedtoclimbupthesideoftherefrigerator.
Whileshecouldreachthetop,shedidn’thavethestrengthlefttopushherselfup andover.“I’mstuck!”Sherilaughedevenharder.“It’snotfunny!”
“Istoo.”
“Isnot!Ifyouwannahewpyousister,youbetterwetmein.”
“Fine.”SheritookJeri’sarmandthenyankedherinside.Jerilandedhard onthebottomoftherefrigerator.Tearsbubbledupinhereyes.Beforeshe coulddoanything,Sherisnatchedthebagofpillsfromher.“Abouttimeyougot here.”
“Ididn’tmeantobewate.IwanintoTai…andKawi.”
“Kari?What’sthattraitordoing?”
“Shewasdwinkingwithanothergirw.Theybothteenagews.”
“Luckyher,”Sherigrumbledasshetookoutthepills.Thelidwas supposedtobechildproof,butSheriopenediteasilyenough.Sheliftedher sister’sheadtoinsertapillintoit.“Comeon,swallowit,dummy.”
Terimanagedtochokedownthepillwiththehelpofasoupcanofwater.
Shedidn’tlookanybetter,butJerihopedthatintimeshewouldrecover.At leastthenJeriwouldn’thaveshrunkintoatoddlerfornothing.
Sincetherewasnothingelsetodo,JeritoldSheriaboutherforayintothe city.Sheristoppedherasshedescribedthesceneinthealley.“Taiwasagirl?”
“HernamewasKwisee.Butshehadeyeswikehimandwhensheweft,I gotwidow.”
“Areyousureitwasn’tanotherpersonlikehim?”
“Idon’tknow.”Thiswasascarythought.Taihadmadeitsoundlikehe wastheonlyonedoingtheseterriblethings,butwhatifhehadapartner?What iftherewerehundredslikehimaroundtheplanet?Sheshivered.
Asitturneddark,Jeriasked,“CanIstaywithyou?Itshouldbesmaw enoughnow.”
Sheriglaredather,butfinallynodded.“Fine.IguessIoweyouforsaving Teri’slife.”
“Tankyou.”ShehuggedSheriandthencuddledupononesideofTerito sleep.