by Eric Filler
Sananodded;KarihadtoldheraboutwhatValhaddonetothefirsthuman totaketheStoneofChange.Thescenechangedagaintoaroomtwicethesize ofthistempledominatedbyagoldenthrone.Aplumpyoungwomanshuffled throughtheroom,runningafeatherdusteroverthefurniture.“Thisistheone knownasJeri.Asyoucansee,hervanityissodeeplyingrainedthatwithouther beautysheisbutashell.”
Thoughsheknewsheshouldn’tafterallthathadhappened,shefelta twingeofsadnesstoseeJeriinsuchastate.Shethoughtofhowit’dfelttobe strippedofheridentity,tobecomeahuman.Shehadbrokentoo,becominga
humantoddler.
Thesceneagainchanged,thistimetoaroomoccupiedbyadozentoddlers.
SanarecognizedthisscenefromwhenMommyhadsentherofftopreschool.
Theimageinthestonefocusedonatoddlerwithlongredhair.Thegirllayona matwithathumbinhermouthandabrunettedollpressedagainstherchest.“I wuvyou,Kwisee,”thegirlmumbled.
Itwasn’tuntilSanasawthegirl’seyesthatsherecognizedtheredheaded toddlerasKari.“WhyareyoutormentingKarilikethis?She’sdonenothing wrong.She’sagoodperson.”
“Sheisgood,butherlonelinessmakesherweak.Sheimaginesthatdollof hersisherformerlover.”
“Butwhydoyouneedtodothistoher?”
“Sheisbeingtested,liketheothers.Clearlyshehasfailed.”
“Andwhataboutme?Whendidyoutestme?”
Fatherputaclawedhandonhershoulder.“Mydaughter,therewasnoneed totestyouinthisway.TheGreatStonehaswatchedyouforsometime.It knowsthatforallyourlife,you’vecaredonlyaboutprotectingyourfamily.
WhenIdied,youtookituponyourselftomakesureyoursiblingsandmother survived.”
“Ionlydidwhatyoutaughtmetodo,Father.”
“Youhavebeenagoodandobedientdaughter.Andsoyoumustbeagain.
YoumusttakethestonetomakeallofShadayourfamilyandprotectthemas youhaveprotectedyoursiblingsandmother.”
Fromthealtarappearedalozenge-shapedstonemadeentirelyofwhite crystal.Oneendofthestonewasjagged,nodoubtfromwhenithadbeen brokeninhalf.Sanastartedtoreachtowardsthecrystal,butherfathertookher hand.
“TheGreatStonecomeswithaprice.Youmustsurrenderthatwhichyou holdmostdear.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“TheGreatStonewascreatedbyhumans,”Fathersaidandgesturedto thosehumansbehindher.“Onlyahumancanuseit.Therefore,ifyouwedthe stone,youwillremaininthisformforever.Yourfamilywillnolongerknow you.YouwillbeastrangertoallofShada.Youwillbeanoutsidertothem.”
Sanaconsideredwhatherfatherhadsaid.Ifshetookthestone,shecould saveShada,andyetshecouldnotbeapartofitanylonger.Everyone—evenher motherandsiblings—wouldgapeatherasshehadgapedatKari,Jeri,Val,and Shteriwhentheyhadfirstarrived.Shewouldseemlikeoneofthenamelessto them.
ThealternativewastoriskValorJerimightgetthestoneanduseitfor somehorriblepurpose.Withasigh,sherealizedtherewasreallynochoice.As herfatherhadsaid,she’dspentmostofherlifetryingtoprotectherfamily.She wouldevenhaveweddedastrangertoprovideforthem.Andinawaynowshe would.
“Iwilldoit,”shesaid.Shewasabouttotakeit,butstopped.“Whatwill becomeofyou,Father?”
“Iwillreturntotheshadows,aswillweall,”hesaidandagaingesturedto theotherhumans.“BeforeIdo,understandhowmuchIloveyou.Youhave becomefargreaterthanevenIcouldhaveimagined.Iamcertainyouwill continuetomakemeproudforcenturiestocome.”
“Iloveyou,Father,”shesaid.Shekissedhisscalymouthwithherhuman lips.Shehadneverdonethisbefore;Shadansdidnotkisslikehumans.Still, sheknewhewouldunderstandthegesture.
Hepattedherheadandthennodded.“Itistimenow,darling.Takethe GreatStoneanduseitwisely.Protectyourpeoplefromalltheevilsofthe universe.”
“Iwill.”
Shetookthestoneinherrighthand.Themomentshedid,herfather disappeared.Sheturnedherheadtoseetheothershaddisappeared—allexcept one.BeforeSanacouldsayanything,abrass-tippedspearlancedthroughher midsection.“AmIinterruptingsomething?”Valgrowled.
Vallookeddifferentthanshehadinthetestorevenwhentheyhadcome throughthegateway.LikeSanashewasanadultagain,onlyherbreasts remainedsmallandherhairwasstillshort.Sheworeagreenjacketandpants thathadspotsofblackandtanonthem.Hersmilewasrecognizablefromthe youngwomanSanahadseenstabbingthemaninthetest.
“Ishouldhaveknownitwouldbeinaplacelikethis.Someout-of-the-way littledump.Howdidyoufindit?”
“Myfathertoldme,”Sanawhispered.Shesawredbloodstainingthefront ofherwhiterobefromwherethespearstuckoutofher.Theworldaroundher wasalreadybeginningtofadeattheedges.Beforelong,shewouldbeamong theshadowswithherfather.Shehadfailedthem.
“Sinceyouaren’tgoingtobeneedingit,I’lljusthelpmyselftothatstone.”
SanatriedtotucktheGreatStonebehindherbody,butitdidn’tmatter.Inher weakenedcondition,itwaseasyforValtoshoveherasidetograbthestone.Val kneltdownbeforeSanaandstrokedherhair.“Don’tworry,sweetie,you’renot goingtodie.I’mgoingtomakesureyoulivetoseeallthefunthingsI’mgoing todotothisshittylittleplanet.Andafterthat,I’llfindsomenewplanetstoplay
with.Thiswholeuniversebelongstomenow.”
“No,”Sanasaid.Shereachedoutforthestone,butitwastoofaraway.
“Who’sgoingtostopme?You?”Foremphasis,Valjammedthespear deeperintoSanauntilshescreamedfromthepain.“Patheticweakling.You’re asbadasKariandJeri.Itreallyshouldhavechosenabetterguardian,butI supposewe’llrectifythatnow.”
ShereachedunderneathherjackettoproducetheStoneofChange.Where ithadbeendormantbefore,nowitcametolife,aglowburningfromwithinthe blackcrystal.BothstonesglowedbrighterandbrighterasValbroughtthem towardseachother.Sparksradiatedfromthecrystals,butthesedidn’tseemto troubleValatall.
Whenthetwostonescametogether,therewasaflashoflightthatinstantly blindedSana.Inthedarkness,shecouldhearVallaughingwithtriumph.That laughcutoffsharply.“What’shappening?No!Youcan’tdothistome.It’s mine!”
Sana’svisionclearedenoughthatshecouldseeValhadbeguntoshrink whilethereunitedstoneburnedwhiteinherhands.Herclothesbecamelooseas shebecameajuvenileagainandthencontinuedtoshrinkintoachild.Herhair grewlongerassheshrunk,untilitwasdowntoherwaist.Thelonghairbound itselfintotwotuftsasSanahadwornwhenshefirstbecamehuman.
“No!”Valshoutedwithasob.“It’snotfair!”
TherewasanotherflashofwhitelightthatagainplungedSanainto darkness.Sheheardsomethingclattertothefloor.Forafewminutesshelay wheezingindarkness,herlifestilldrainingfromher.
Someonetouchedhershoulder.“Sana?Whathappened?”
“Val.Took.Stone,”Sanamanagedtowhisper.
“No,shedidn’t.It’srighthere—”
“Don’t!It’ll.Kill.You.”
SanaexpectedKaritolaughthisofforinsistSanajustwantedthestonefor herself,butKarididn’t.ShesqueezedSana’sshoulderandwhispered,“It’son thefloorameterinfrontofyou.I’llhelpyoufindit.”
KarihelpedSanaontoherbellysoshecouldcrawlforwardtowherethe stonelay.“It’sjustafewmorecentimeters,”Karisaid.“Reachoutwithyour lefthand.Thereyougo.Almostthere—”
WhenSana’sfingerstouchedthestone,itfeltasifaboltoflightningran throughhe
r.Hervisionclearedandshesawthefrontofherrobewasnolonger stainedwithblood.Shehadbeenhealed!
ShesettheGreatStoneinherlaptostareatit.Thestonewascomplete now,awhitecrystalcapsulethatnoonewouldeversuspecthadeverbeen
brokenintwo.Karisquatteddownnexttohertostareatthestone,thoughshe madenoattempttotouchit.“It’sbeautiful,”shesaid.
“Itis.”Sanaturnedtoher.“Whydidn’tyoutakeit?”
“Ididn’twanttoenduplikeVal.”Karigesturedtoablackstreakonthe floorthathadthevagueshapeofalittlegirl.KarismiledatSana.“Andyou toldmenotto,remember?”
“What’sgoingoninhere?”Jeriaskedfromthedoorway.Sherushed towardsthem,stoppingwhenshesawthecrystal.Hereyeswidenedwith surprise—andhunger.“Isthatthestone?It’ssobeautiful.”
KarigotuptopushJeriback.“Youdon’twanttotrythat.”Shegesturedto theblackstreakagain.“That’swhat’sleftofVal.”
“Iwasjustlookingatit,”Jeriwhined.Shethrewherselfontooneofthe stonebenches,armsfoldedoverherjuvenilebreasts.“Ihadtheworstdream.I wentintothatbathhouseandfellasleepandwhenIwokeupIwasugly.”
Karisatdownnexttoher.“Ihadaweirddreamtoo.Iwasbackinschool withKrisee.”Shestopped,hercheeksreddening.“Itwasjustlikewhenshe wasstillalive.”
“Thoseweren’tdreams,”Sanasaid.Shetuckedthestoneintoapocketof herrobeandthengottoherfeet.“Thoseweretestscreatedbythecrystal.It wantedtogaugeyourworthiness.”
“Isupposewebothfailed,”Karisaid.
Jeriharrumphedatthis.“AndIguessMissPerfecttherepassed.It’snot fair.AllIdidwiththeStoneofChangewasmakeeverythingpretty.Whyisthat acrime?”
“Mypeoplearenotdollsforyoutodressupandplaywith,”Sanasaid.
“Perhapsourskinisn’tsmoothandwedon’thavefurtokeepourheadswarm andwedon’tliveinhousesofwoodandglass,butweareafreepeople,aproud people.”
Sanatookthestoneoutofherpocket.Shehelditoverherhead.Shedidn’t reallyknowhowtouseit,butshecouldfeelpowerradiatingfromherentire body,asifshewereadivinelightningrod.ShefocusedonmakingShadaasit hadbeenbeforethehumansarrived.Inhermind’seyeshecouldseeherfamily astheyhadbeen,withtheirscalybrownfleshandclawedhandsandfeet.She sawhervillageofsquatmudhuts.
Avoicewhisperedinhermindthatsheshouldchangethings,trytomake theworldbetterforherpeople.ThenshethoughtofwhatJerihaddoneto Shada.Wouldshebeanybetterifshemadeeventheslightestchange?Asshe hadsaid,herpeoplewerenotdolls,playthingsforanyone’samusement,even herown.Soshereseteverythingasithadbeen.Theonlydifferencewasshe
remainedasshewas;asherfatherhadexplained,shewouldhavetoremain humantousethestonetoprotectShada.
SheopenedhereyesandthenstaredatKariandJeri.“Itistimeforyouto gohome,alongwithyourfriendShteri.”
“Whatareyougoingtodotous?”Jeriasked,hervoicetrembling.
“Forwhatyou’vedonetoShada,youmustbepunished.Therefore,you willremainasyouarenow.Youwillspendtherestofyourdaysinthisform, withonlythefadingmemoriesofyourlostbeauty.”
TearscascadeddownJeri’scheeks.Shebegantosobviolently,pressing herselfagainstKari.“It’snotfair!”shewailedasValhadinherlastmoments.
“Whataboutme?Whatareyougoingtodotome?”Kariasked.
“You,KariChomar,havebeenagoodfriend.Myfathersaysyouhavea goodheartandI’veseenthisformyself.Youwillbejustlyrewardedforthe helpyou’vegivenmeandthesufferingyou’veendured.”
“Idon’tneedanything,”Karisaid.“Justsendmehome.Idon’tmind beingageek.”
“Asyouwish,”Sanasaid.TherewasanotherflashoflightandthenKari andJeriweregone,leavingSanaalone,asshewouldbefortheremainderofher days.
Shewalkeddowntheaisle,outintothecitythatwashersnow.Therewas stillmuchtodo.Firstshewouldgoouttotheswamptohuntsomegrubs.The sunhadgonedownoutside;asFatherhadtaughther,thedarknesswasthebest timetohunt.Onceshefinished,shecouldleavethegrubsonthedoorstepofher oldhut;agifttoherfamilyfromtheirprotector.
Epilogue
Karifinishedreadingthroughthepaperandthensighed.Shescribbled
“70%-TryHarder”onthetopofthetest.Shetookoffherglassestolether eyesrestforafewmoments.
Becomingateacheragainwasmoredifficultthanshehadthought.After overtwoyearsofbeingachild,asecretary,astripper,awaitress,abartender, andthenachildagainshehadgottenrustyonmanagingaclassroom.She consideredherselffortunateSanahadsentherbacktotheuniversityandnota kindergartenclassroom;incollegeatleastshedidn’thaveunrulychildren throwingthingsateachother.Insteaditwasjusttheusualproblemsofstudents whotriedtoohardtoimpressher,thosewhodidn’ttryhardenough,andthose whoconstantlyfeltslightedbyanythingthatdidn’tgotheirway.Ontopofthat shehaddepartmentmeetingsandotheruniversityfunctionswhileatthesame timeshehadtocontinueherownresearch.
Thatresearchhadbecomefarmoredifficultnow.Sanahadapparently erasedanysignofKiffromPhera’srecords.Herexpeditiontotheplanethad beencompletelywipedfromtherecords.ValandTaiLecauhadneverexisted; theformershedidmournsometimeslateatnight.Evenrecordsoftheancients onPherahadbeenexpunged.
KariunderstoodwhySanahaddonethis.Shehadbeenchargedwith protectingShadaandevenwithValandTaidead,therewasalwaysachance someonecouldtrytopickupwheretheyhadleftoff.Itwasbetternoonebut herrememberedanythingaboutit.
Thatdidmeanshehadtotakeupanewareaofstudy.Withouttheancients, therewasn’tawholelotforanarchaeologisttodoonPhera,notunlessyouwere willingtopushtheenvelope.ThoughKarihadneverbeenarisktaker,she realizedshe’dbeengivenasecondchancethankstoSana.Shewasaprofessor againbutmoreimportantly,herWembleySyndromehadbeencured.Her eyesightwasstillfarfromperfect,butshewouldn’thavetoworryaboutgoing blindforalong,longtime.
Kariplannedtousethissecondchancetogetbackintothefield.Therewas anexpeditiontothesouthpoleleavingintwoweeksandsheplannedtogo along.Therewasaveryhighprobabilityshe’donlycatchfrostbite,butshe didn’tcare.Shehadspenttoomuchofherlifecoopedupinanoffice;itwas timetogetoutandseetheworld.
Sometimesshequestionedthisdecisionbasedonwhathadhappenedthat firsttimeonKif.Thensherememberedtheundergroundcitythey’dfoundon
Shada.Shethoughtbacktohowexcitedshe’dbeen,evenwhenshe’dstillbeen atoddler,toseethoseancientmarkings.Shedesperatelywantedtomake anotherdiscoverylikethat,tofeelthatthrillagain.Shejusthopedthistimethey wouldn’tfindanymysteriousstonesthatwouldmakeherachildagain.
Therewasaknockonherdoor.Hersecretarystuckherheadin.“Thegirl fromtheagencyisheretoseeyou,Dr.Chomar.”
“Good.Sendherin.”
Apastygirlwithnearlywhitehairtrudgedintotheroom.Jeristillworethe samecat’seye-shapedglasses,goldsweater,andplaidskirtshe’dbeenwearing intheancientcity.Sheseemedafewcentimeterstallerthanlasttime;thatadded heightgaveheragawkierlookthatonlyaddedtohergeekiness.Shesat demurelyonachairinfrontofKari’sdesk.
“Didyouaskformeonpurpose?”sheasked.
“Isthataproblem?”
Jerishrugged.“Ijustthoughtafterwhathappened,youwouldn’twantto seemeagain.”
“That’snonsense.You’remyfriend.”
“EvenafterwhatIdidtoyou?”
> Karicamearoundthedesktoputahandonthegirl’sshoulder.“Youwere undertheStoneofChange’sinfluence.Itusedyou.”Inthosemomentslateat nightwhenshethoughtofVal,Karioftentoldherselfthesamethingabouther formerlover;thestonehadcorruptedVal,twistedherintoamonster.Sheknew thatwasn’tstrictlytrue;thestonehadonlyexaggeratedthetraitsthatwere alreadythere.InJeri’scase,shehadbecomeevenmorevainandself-centered thanbefore,totheextentshe’dtriedtoremakeanentireplanettofithernotions ofbeauty.“Andyoudidn’ttorturemethewayTaiandValdid.”
“Youmusthaveaprettylowstandardoffriendship,”Jerigrumbled.
KaritooktheseatnexttoJeriandthentiltedthegirl’schinup.“Howare yougettingalong?Areyoudoingwellinschool?”
“Wellenough.”
“Andyourmother?”
“Sheignoresmelikeeveryoneelse.”
“Hey,comeon,Iknowit’stough,buteventuallyyou’lladjust.”
“Idon’twanttoadjust.Iwanttobeprettyagain.”Tearsappearedbehind Jeri’sglasses.Karitookthegirlinherarmsandstrokedherhairtocomforther.
“IaskedMamaifIcouldgetsomecorrectivesurgeryandshesaidtherewasno pointtoit.‘There’sonlysomuchsciencecando’shesaid.”
“Youdon’tneedsurgery,Jeri.You’restillaveryprettygirl.”
“Iamnot.Nooneeventalkstomeatschool.”
“Maybeyouneedtoreachouttothemmore.Bemoreproactive.”
“Sure.”Jeripulledbackandthenwipedathereyes.“Anyway,that’swhyI signedupwiththeagency,soIcangetsomemoney.Icanatleastgetmyeyes fixedthen.”
“Ilikeyourglasses.They’recute.”
“Youwouldlikethem.”
“Listen,Jeri,youhavetostopseeingthisasapunishment.IknowSana saidthat’swhyshemadeyouthisway,butitdoesn’thavetobethatifyoudon’t letit.RememberwhenyouweretakingcareofmewhenIwasMolegirl?