For a brief second, his vision blurred when he felt his length fully seated within her, only knowing he shouldn’t be hurting her, he attempted to lift her but stopped when she spoke, her whisper strained and panting.
“Don’t you dare.” Sarah’s head fell back and her hips pushed forward, rocking against him. “I want this.”
“Then you will have it,” he answered her with a guttural promise.
Mewling noises filled the chamber and he let her control the joining with her hips pushing him deeper inside. Then lifting, only to again take all of him in a paradise of motion.
Conall’s thoughts evaporated to only the woman riding him, to the soft sounds and the sensations of his pleasure at having what he craved. Sarah again faced him with her half-lidded eyes roaming his chest and her hands that covered it.
No longer content with the gentle loving, one arm banded around her waist and the other captured her hair. His face burrowed in her neck and he whispered the thoughts he should keep inside and silent. “Aye, take all of me.” His hips thrust up to meet her and she cried out but kept moving, matching the faster rhythm with no hesitation.
“Conall.” His name left her lips in a rush as he held her hips still and twisted his up, forcing his cock inside roughly and with complete demand.
“I tried to have you leave.” Pulling her hair to place her forehead against his, he pleaded between clenched teeth, “But you stayed. You should have left me.” Every muscle in his body strained to take her, to fill her completely, to behave as if he were with someone ready to take his punishing need.
Sarah lifted her hands and cupped his face and spoke. “I want you. . . just like this.” Gasping, she twisted her hips and pushed her breasts against him. “Don’t stop.” Her gaze cast down to the water and she practically begged, “Please.”
Lost in her body, the heat enveloping him, and the faster pace demanded by her movement, Conall heard her chanted whisper, the words meaning nothing as he held on tight and let go of any remaining restraint. The words blurred, and his body took, lifting and practically leaving her only to claim her over and over again. But he heard her.
The stop, and the dinna, mixed with please and then his name over and over, the harsh cries mixing with the sounds of his body against hers and covered in splashes. A silent open-mouthed shout visible on her features came seconds before she stilled, leaving her body trembling against his. Yet he continued driving up and into her until he roared with his release, conscious enough to know he had no need to leave her body. His seed poured into her in bliss he had never imagined. But his hips kept moving until his body ran dry.
Gripping her tightly to him, he only knew that she shook in his arms with gasping breaths that matched his. Running his hands over her back, he kissed her neck over and over, while his body shuddered within hers. Never had he experienced such all-consuming pleasure and never had he carried such guilt for it.
I fed my wife whiskey and then treated her as a. . . His thoughts wouldn’t allow the word to form. While the sex had done its duty and erased the blood and battle from his mind, new thoughts hung over his head. She will never forgive me.
But soft hands ran over his shoulders and then up and into his wet hair. Sarah whispered against his ear, “What have you done with my husband?”
Hearing her tease didn’t make the regret fade. His hands gentled over her back and up to her curls that hung heavy with water. He had no answer to explain the lust that had consumed him and that had taken her so harshly.
Flames crackled in the hearth and he waited until her breathing slowed along with his, surprised that Sarah hadn’t yelled at him or wept tears at the abuse no wife should ever endure. Kissing her temple, he lifted her from him and sighed as he left her body, which he doubted would ever welcome him again.
Resting on his thighs, her hands ran over his hair, so tender that it made his chest ache. With her forehead resting against his, she merely held him as if he were still the gentle spirit she had wed, rather than the soulless creature who lived in his flesh.
It had been too much to ask for the fates to give him such a reprieve from delivering death. For weeks he had known peace and had nearly forgotten how to be the instrument of destruction, the creature born from vengeance to keep the Bruce’s commands. In that time, he had met and wed a woman, a legend, and had borne such hope for his future only to have it crash down around him, and in all places, his favorite chamber within the keep.
The exhaustion, which had been placed aside to let passion run wild, hit him hard. Feeling Sarah soften against him, he lifted her to stand and for a brief second stared at the freckles on her stomach, such wonders he wished to kiss and savor and yet knew his touch to be too rough. He stood and helped her from the tub, mindful of the water on the floor lest she slip.
Taking a drying cloth from the stack, he wiped away the droplets of water and cringed at his hand marks on her hips. Lifting the robe from a section of the floor that had been spared the mad splashing, he covered her and kissed her nose before drying his body and wrapping the cloth around his waist.
“Want your robe back?” Her soft voice broke the silence that stretched between them.
“I would have you warm as we find our bed.” It was the only offer he had to give with her shift torn and soaked lying across the chamber.
“Maybe I should clean up in here.” Her gaze roamed the floor strewn with water and clothing.
“Leave it.” His hand wrapped around hers and he opened the door to behold the dog that waited as if nothing had transpired. Paws trailed behind them as they took the back stairs through the quiet keep.
Sarah opened the door to their chamber and her eyes lit with a thousand questions. He knew the one she asked wasn’t the one needed. What have you done with my husband? It rang in his head and he had no way to explain so he kept quiet.
“Someone left you a plate. Are you hungry?” Her concern floored him given his behavior. He ignored the food left on the table next to his chair.
“Nay, I only wish to climb into bed.” For one last night he would lay beside her. He knew she would realize how poorly he had treated her on the morrow and likely wish to be apart from him for fear of her safety.
“Here’s your robe.” The garment dropped to the floor and his naked wife climbed into the bed with a heavy sigh, likely too shocked to react.
Conall dropped the cloth and joined her, relieved that she allowed him at her back to nestle against her. Even plagued with such a heavy heart, blood and strong drink roared in his veins, his appetite once again rearing up with her lush curves pressed against him.
“Seriously?” Sarah chuckled as she pushed back, an invitation he had no power to resist.
Pushing her hair off her shoulder, he kissed her neck and reached his hand around her to fondle and enjoy her breast. “Aye, Sarah. I need you.” The words slurred from his lips as she pushed her behind against his cock in an enticing rhythm too, bold to ignore.
He heard her shocked cry as rough hands pulled at her body until she rested on her hands and knees in front of him. Somewhere in the far recesses of his mind, he knew no husband should ever demand such and yet his hand ran over her spine and down her lush behind, pretending that her noises were filled with want.
Then he took her, hard and complete with his vision filled with bright flashes of color that forced away remnants of battle. Hearing his name on her lips, he answered with the only coherent thought left: “Sarah.”
Chapter 21
Sarah stepped from her chamber alone. Given last night, she had assumed she would wake up next to Conall. So not fair. He finally rocks my world and then leaves without waking me up.
Furrowing her brow at the lack of her dog, in addition to that of her husband, the commotion across the corridor irritated her more than it should have. Stepping into Elspeth’s room, she was surprised to find Lena and Robena.
“What’s going on in here?” Sarah practically demanded with the room in chaos.
Knowing she had slept late, given by the light from the window, it had to be midmorning, if not later. “Yeah, I’m up. What’s going on in here?”
Robena continued placing fresh sheets on the bed, while Lena swept the room. “We will be finished long before the evening meal and your clothing shall be brought here. ‘Tis nay a need for you to do aught.”
“What are we talking about?” Sarah questioned as a pit opened in her stomach. Why am I moving? And why don’t I know about it?
Without her usual eye contact, Lena kept her features insanely neutral. “The laird ordered it done and so it shall be.”
Cocking her head to the side, the insinuation hardly a challenge to follow, the cold pit became a disgusting hole. Roles came into play: Conall hadn’t asked for it, the laird had. Facing the women, who were clearly uncomfortable, Sarah smoothed down her perfectly straight gown. The deep blue fabric had once made Conall whisper sweet endearments about the color of her eyes reminding him of the sea. When did we go from sweet, to uninhibited mind-blowing sex to sleeping apart? Can’t I have a single day that makes sense?
It wasn’t even noon and already the day had spun beyond her scope of reason and understanding, which was beginning to seem a nasty pattern. Gathering what she could of her composure, not willing to share how the women had destroyed what she had believed, that her husband actually liked her, or at the minimum, wanted her, she nodded. “Thank you. I’m sure everything will be just fine.”
Without waiting for more, she turned on her heel and stepped into the corridor, its walls of cold stone closed in on her. Without thought, she headed to Evan’s room to seek either the man screwing with her or the one who would know all the details. Given that Peter had a hand in everything, she hadn’t decided what to tackle first, Peter’s hand in it or her illusions being shattered.
Standing in front of the wooden door, she paused before knocking. Highly doubting that either target would be inside with Evan, given the grunts, groans and telltale female sounds of delight coming from behind the door, she stilled. Her wayward thoughts wondered to how in the world Evan managed to make whoever it was cry out with such abandon with a chest full of stitches. Not really wanting an answer, she turned around and made her way to the main staircase, hoping that Evan finished up before Robena went to check him.
How in the hell does he manage to keep himself out of the doghouse with multiple girlfriends all under one roof? The second she had the thought, her dark pit shifted and ideas she loathed began to surface in her mind. Far more comfortable with a touch of anger than uncertainty, she let the thoughts come to life and wondered how much of a family trait two-timing could be with the brothers.
The events of last night floated in her head while she scanned the hall for Conall, Peter, and her dog. No one sat at the tables given the hour and several women cleaned and swept. One caught her eye and then abruptly turned to sweep with a vengeance. Realizing her face had to be a mask of pure rage, she forced a deep breath and then another while nasty pieces clicked together.
Last night replayed as she stood in the hall, oblivious to the movement around her. Conall had returned and she would have sworn, would still swear, that he had been overly thrilled to see her. To her, he had seemed lost while those around them had relished in telling the story of their adventure. Conall had been quiet and relatively needy with his grip on her, his need for her to be close and his obvious goal of drinking until he couldn’t stand.
Taking him to the baths had started as an act of kindness. Her caretaker’s nature had blossomed to life with his sad eyes and filth. But then he’d touched, kissed her and the unexplainable energy between them had reared and taken over. Plus, what woman wouldn’t have gone from kindness to carnal with him naked and soaking in a tub? Not to mention his blatant hard-on.
Phrases he’d uttered hadn’t made sense to her then, but short of a bomb going off in the small room, she doubted conscious thought had been present. You shouldn’t be here. What she assumed had been some type of modesty or even an opportunity for her leave before the night became insanely hot, had been a tease. But then he’d lost control, even said as much to her. What had been wicked last night settled to disturbing when she recalled every other time he had touched her.
What happened in the bathing chamber had been a fantasy come to life. But sex with Conall had been everything but exciting up until then and even if her flesh craved him, he’d always left her disappointed. She knew she’d hit her mental nail on the head when bile rose in her throat.
Maybe he drank enough to think he was with someone else, someone he actually wants to be with. Maybe he is simply using me after all. Hey Mom, you win again in the I’m-always-right-department. I jumped into a marriage as a drunk idiot and am only tolerated to knock out a kid before he abandons me. But don’t worry, he thinks I’ll keep this place running nice and smooth so that business minor is so going to come in handy.
“Fuck this,” she mumbled under her breath and forced her feet back into motion. Answers were needed, and nothing was going to get in her way. And I want my dog.
Stopping before she reached the corridor, she turned to the women who stared at her as if she’d lost her mind, she asked, “Has anyone seen my dog?” Her voice snarled, and she didn’t care.
An older woman took a step forward. “Aye, m’lady. Your beastie has been taken to stable master to run with the others.”
And now my poor not-an-alpha-bone-in-my-body dog is being subjected to who knows what type of torment. The day just keeps getting better. Still remembering to pretend to have manners, she asked, “What’s your name. I’m sorry, I can’t remember.”
A soft smile made crow’s feet dance around the eyes that softened toward her. “Adairia. We have nay been introduced. I have served the clan for years and will do the same for you.”
Sarah forced a smile to her lips that wanted to scream. “Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.” But she knew she’d seen the woman before and recognition struck her. “You’re the one who told Conall to make his mother proud during the, um, the wedding?”
“Aye, ‘twas a pleasure to see the lad grown and claiming his bride. His mother would have been pleased with you. I kenned her well.” Not wanting to offend, Sarah nodded.
“Have you seen him or Peter? I need to find them.” Hoping her urgency hadn’t come out as desperation, she prayed the woman had a clue as to where she should go.
“The laird rode out but Peter ‘tis in the study, as ‘tis his way each morn.” Adairia pointed to the corridor and then made a point to introduce the other women by name.
Sarah greeted each one with her impatience hidden though had no recollection of a name given. Taking her first opportunity to flee, she stomped down the corridor and pushed open the unfastened door to find Peter behind the desk. “Where is he?”
“And good morning to you too,” Peter grinned, ignoring her outburst. “I’m glad you’re up. We have a few matters to discuss.”
“Where is Conall and why am I being kicked out of his room?” Then she waited, watching every facial tic, wanting to know if he had a hand in the chaos of her day.
Peter sat back in his chair and appraised her. “Yeah, I heard about that. Did you two have a fight last night? I mean, given what we found in the bathing chamber this morning, I assumed all was good between you. You know, that you’d kissed and made up.”
His smirk left her unsettled. “What do you mean?”
Then he laughed. “The whole keep is talking about it. You left a nasty trail of breadcrumbs. Between an empty pitcher of whiskey, torn clothing and more water on the floor than left in the tub, well, let’s just say the chatter and evidence point to a happily married couple.”
Humiliation flooded over her and Sarah dropped into a chair before the desk. “Really? Do happily married couples suddenly kick the other one out of their bed, or rather have someone else do it?”
“I was hoping you would know, given that I woke up alone.” Emptiness rang in her voice and she hated the sound of it.
She listened to his deep inhales and steeled herself for whatever he would say. “Conall came back a shadow of his usual self last night. It reminded me of how he looked when he came back home with his father’s sword strapped to his back.” For a second, Peter closed his eyes as if to hide hurt or pain. “But then you went to him and I thought I saw some type of hope, that being with you would help him push it away.”
Since those thoughts mirrored her own, she nodded in agreement. “I saw that too. Which is why I let him drink his dinner rather than eat it. I caught the part about no one eating all day since they were so intent on getting Evan back here.”
“Yeah, he drank and I didn’t stop it either. I have no issue with a good drunk after a shit storm of a few days.”
Despite her inner turmoil, Sarah smiled at the phrasing. “It’s classic avoidance. Rather than deal with what happened, he decided to roll over it. I offered to let him talk, but he refused so quickly that I didn’t push. Even in the bath, he had ample opportunity.” She knew Conall could have addressed his many scars or started with a hint that she had been listening for, any cue that he wanted to unburden his mind.
“I don’t doubt that given your past career. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. But then, you two found other ways to push past it, didn’t you?” Peter hinted with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
Turning her head away from his probing gaze, she stared at the floor with stones identical to those in the bathing chamber. “What happened between us last night wasn’t like it had been.” Closing her eyes, she asked with a hushed voice, “How much do you want to know?”
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