“Oh, just go and get changed, if you count that cash one more time I’m going to go crazy. I’ll finish up here.”
“You sure?” Lee asked, giving Gina an apologetic smile.
“Course. Go!”
Lee disappeared into the back room where she had stashed a change of clothes, a hair brush and some make up. Despite not wanting something serious, that didn’t mean she was going to make no effort at all. Now that they had kissed - when she was covered in flour of all things - she was very keen to look as good as possible.
A quick flick of the hair brush, a change into black jeans and a festive sparkly top, a swish of eye shadow and Lee felt ready to take on the world. Well, for a drink with James anyway.
Gina wolf whistled as she exited into the now-empty café. “He’ll want to bang your brains out too, looking like that!”
“Gina, you have got to stop using that phrase before someone overhears you!”
“You know I don’t care. Have any amazing time, stay out late, don’t be too loud if you come back to ours…”
“I’m sure I’ll be back early, Gina! We’re just going for a drink, and to talk, maybe another kiss… nothing more. Honest!”
“Mmhmm.”
And then he was there, outside the door, shrouded in darkness under the spotlight of the Christmas decorations hung right outside the door. Lee didn’t wait for him to come in; she opened the door and as the bell tinkled her face broke into a smile. He wore dark jeans and a plum coloured shirt that was open at the neck.
“Hey,” Lee said, stepping out into the cold and feeling as though she was walking on air.
“Hey. You look fantastic, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“I don’t mind at all. You scrub up pretty well too - although I’m rather partial to the police uniform, I have to say.” She blushed and her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe I just said that! I seem to struggle to think through my words when I’m around you.”
James laughed and pulled Lee’s hand down from her face. She felt tingles from every inch that he touched, and when he didn’t let go of her hand, she didn’t pull away either. “I’m glad you like the uniform,” he said. “Shall we go get that drink? It’s freezing here.” He was beginning to think he should have worn his thick winter coat, but the idea just hadn’t come into his mind as he was leaving the house for some reason.
“Lead the way,” Lee said, and so he did, lacing his fingers between hers as he did so. It felt a little odd - she and Nathan hadn’t, she realised, held hands in a long time - but it wasn’t uncomfortable, and the tingling she felt where their bodies connected went some way to warming her on this cold December evening.
They entered a little bar halfway up the high street. The town was quaint in so many ways, and one was the fact that most of the shops that lined the steep hill were quite small; like Lee’s café, they were intimate and only held a handful of customers - which had the added bonus and drawback (depending which side of the counter you were on!) of often being busy.
It was a weeknight, however, and so the little bar with its dark exposed beams and red feature wall only had a couple of other patrons in it. There was a little jazz music on in the background, but nothing loud enough to obscure talking - or a little flirting…
James didn’t let go of her hand until they were sat at a mahogany table in the far corner of the room, beneath strings of fairy lights that made the place feel a little like a cosy cave. After asking what she wanted, James headed to the bar to grab drinks and Lee allowed herself the luxury of a deep breath in as she reminded herself of the things she needed to say tonight - things that needed to be said before any more kissing was allowed to happen! She knew she needed to be up front and honest with him; he’d said she was brave, that she did what made her happy, and she thought some sort of involvement with James would make her happy - but she also knew that she was far too scared to get involved in anything serious. It was all too soon, and her wounded heart wasn’t ready to be put through that wringer again.
She thought she’d got her heartbeat under control - and then he handed her a glass of wine, and his fingers brushed hers, and she was a mess of hormones all over again.
‘Get a grip, Lee!’ she told herself. ‘You are not some fourteen-year-old with a crush.’
Except that was exactly what she felt like.
“So,” James said, taking a sip from his bottle of beer. “I know you like police uniforms-” Lee blushed and hoped it was hidden by the low light in the room. “That you make an amazing coffee and that you’re clumsy with flour. What else? Where are you from?”
“Not normally so clumsy, thank you very much,” Lee said with a grin. “I grew up just outside Bristol, and lived in Bristol up until last month. I went to university in London though - but I always planned to move back.”
“You studied law in London then?”
“Yeah, and took the bar there too. I thought I’d stay there for a little while, but… well…” She trailed off, and took a large sip of wine to distract from that fact.
It didn’t work.
“But?”
“Well, I probably shouldn’t be talking about my soon-to-be ex-husband on this…” Again she trailed off; she had been about to say ‘date’, but wasn’t sure if that was really the correct term for whatever this was.
“Drink,” she finished, at the same time as James said “date”. They both grinned.
“I asked the question - if you want to say it, I’ll listen to the answer.”
“Okay. Well, I met him when I was home visiting my mum and well - as they say, the rest is history. I moved back to Bristol not long after that, started working in a law firm and worked my way up to partner just as I hit thirty.”
“Partner by thirty? Impressive,” James said, raising his eyebrows slightly. “And a little intimidating!”
“Says you, PC Knight! What about you, how long have you been on the force?”
“Three years,” James answered, running a hand through his slightly curly hair. “Finished school, had no idea what I wanted to do, did a bit of freelance art work for a bit and lived with my gran, then decided to sort myself out and get a degree. Went to university in Exeter, then got onto the police graduate program when I was twenty-five and here I am!”
“You’re only twenty-eight?” Lee said, feeling ancient all of a sudden despite the difference only being a little over two years.
“Guilty as charged. And I would have said you were the same, except you just told me you became partner at thirty, so I must be wrong!”
She grinned a little at the flattery. “Thirty-one next month.” She took a large gulp of wine and dived straight in to her own question. “So - and I’m just going to come out and say this - you’ve got a good job and you’re gorgeous. How come you’ve not been snapped up?”
James tipped his head slightly to one side and shrugged a little. “Are you asking what’s wrong with me?”
“No!” Lee said, almost spluttering out the sip of wine she’d taken. “Of course not!”
“Oh, I’m only joking. I guess I was - and then she decided she wanted to move to California to pursue life as a photographer out there, a week before our wedding. And, like an idiot, I offered to go with her - and realised that it wasn’t just England she wanted to leave. It was me too. I heard she was in London recently - so maybe it was me more than England that she wanted to leave. There,” he said, tapping the neck of his beer bottle onto the side of her glass of wine. “Now we’ve both shared too much about our exes for a date. Or a drink. Or whatever this is.”
Lee looked down at the table and took a deep breath. “Is it a date?”
“I’d like it to be.”
“I think I would too. But…”
“Always a but…” James said, but Lee was pleased to see he was grinning as he said it.
“I’m afraid so. I want it to be a date, and I’m trying to go for things I want. But I absolutely cannot commit to some
thing serious right now - and I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want to lead you on.”
James was silent for a few moments as he processed her words; she almost regretted saying them but she knew they needed to be said. However, just as strong within in her was a longing for that not to be the only kiss they ever shared…
“Okay,” he suddenly said. “I think you’re gorgeous, and you make me laugh, and I would really like to go on more than one date with you. So I’ll take not serious for now - hey, you’re moving back to Bristol at some point, that’s bound to put a spanner in the works. And we’ll both re-evaluate at a later date - how does that sound?”
“Sounds like a reason to kiss you,” Lee said, with a cheeky grin that hid her own shock at her brazenness.
James didn’t need asking twice. He leant across the table and their lips met; his hand moved to rest on the side of her head and - while the setting prevented them from being quite as enthusiastic as they had been in the store cupboard - Lee felt a slow burn start at her lips and spread to every inch of her body. She could taste the beer on his lips, and smell the faint scent of the aftershave she presumed he’d put on that evening. His face was certainly smooth; no hint of the stubble she had seen on him in previous days.
She had initiated it with her words and she broke it off, mindful that they were not the only ones in the cosy little bar. As they both gravitated back to the seats of their chairs, their faces were adorned with the widest grins and they found the conversation evaporated for a few moments as their gazes were locked.
“Definitely a good idea,” James finally said.
“I’m full of them,” Lee said with a smirk.
“I’d put visiting Totnes down as one of your better ones too,” James said. “And wherever you went to make such a good cup of coffee.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Always.”
“I had never made a proper cup of coffee - one that didn’t come from a machine or a pot of granules - until I opened the café. Gina taught me everything she knew which - thank god - was a lot!”
“I never would have believed it. Best coffee I’ve ever tasted.”
“I think you just enjoy flattering me,” Lee said, but she was smiling.
“So,” James said, finishing the end of his beer and rocking the bottle slightly on the table. “What’s the plan, with ‘Carol’s Café’? Once you… if you move back to Bristol. And who is Carol anyway?”
“My gran,” Lee said with a soft smile. “She passed away a long time ago, but she was always taking me to coffee shops and teaching me all the names of the coffees - and letting me order crazy flavoured milkshakes. Hey, I was eight! So I named it after her. Plus I love the alliteration.”
“Both great reasons,” James said; he fell silent as he waited for her to answer his initial question. She took the last sip of her wine for some kind of fortitude before answering.
“I decided to stay for Christmas, and I’ll head back home - or wherever that ends up being - in the New Year. A fresh start. And then Gina will take over running, and I’ll pay her and treat it as an investment, I guess.” The idea sounded so strange, so detached; she couldn’t imagine not running the café, not seeing the customers, not having a day to day say in the running of it. But she guessed that was what would happen, once she returned to some new flat in Bristol, back to her familiar life as a lawyer.
“New Year,” James said. “That’s not long…”
“No…” The unspoken words hung around them in the air as if they were being shouted. Were they crazy? Why were they starting anything, casual or not? They had a couple of weeks, tops. And then they would live two hours away from one another, with busy lives where whatever fling they decided to have would be long forgotten - a Christmas dream from another lifetime.
James reached across to gently trail his fingers across Lee’s upturned palm and the realisation of ‘why’ shot through her like a bolt of lightning. This chemistry was not something to be ignored. She was not sure she’d ever felt a pull like this towards a man - and she didn’t think it was something she could pass by, no matter how fleeting, no matter how disastrous the consequences would be.
She was glad when James opened his mouth, for she was sure she hadn’t been too far off letting Gina’s favourite phrase slip out; but she wasn’t quite that daring.
“I can’t have another, I need to drive,” James said, and Lee felt her heart sink with disappointment. He hadn’t felt the answer to the ‘why?’ coursing through his very veins then - he couldn’t have done if he was ending this so early. She glanced at the clock; it wasn’t even seven. She’d thought they might get some dinner, although her body couldn’t possibly think about food with so many hormones filling it.
“Oh,” she said, not sure what to respond; asking him to stay looked desperate, she felt - and besides, she’d been the one to say they couldn’t date, she’d been the one to say it couldn’t be serious - if he was now taking her at her word, she couldn’t interfere. “Do you live far?” It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but it was the only thing that she could think of to fill the silence.
“Just on the outskirts of Totnes - out towards the road to Kingsbridge, at the top of the hill. Not too far, but a bit too far to walk, especially at this time of year. And, as I’m sure you’re aware by now, getting a taxi round here is often easier said than done.”
She nodded; it was more something to plan in advance than a spur of the moment decision, that was true. “I guess you better get going.”
“Do you - do you want to come back to mine for a drink? And I could fix us something to eat.” He was fiddling with the label on his beer bottle, slowly shredding it off as he spoke to her; she wondered if it was out of nerves.
His words lifted her sinking spirits and she smiled broadly. “Yeah. That sounds good.” She knew what she was getting herself into; she knew that if she was alone with him, and there was wine, what was likely to happen. And yet she followed him out of that bar, feeling touched by his thoughtfulness as he took her hand once more and led the way into the cold night air.
Chapter 14
James was parked along the road a five minute walk from the bar, and as they walked with their hands joined together Lee commented on how beautiful the stars were above them. “They’re so clear out here. It’s never this clear back home - look, you can really see the constellations!” He laughed at her childish excitement, and began to point out the few constellations he could name, taking the hand that wasn’t entwined with Lee’s and using it to sketch them in the sky. Lee wasn’t sure she would remember it all, but just hearing his deep, even voice talk with such knowledge, such confidence, kept her engrossed in every word.
It was only a short drive up the hill to James’ house, and as they drove Lee felt butterflies begin to flutter in her stomach. Excitement? Or nerves? She wasn’t sure, but she knew that going back to a man’s house for a drink was something she hadn’t done in years.
They turned off the main road down a small beaten pathway that Lee would have seen and dismissed as not being fit for cars. It widened slightly and then turned left into a small paved driveway with just enough room for one car. The engine stilled, and as they got out Lee looked around, her eyes trying to accommodate to the darkness. Here, slightly outside of the town, the stars were even brighter, and as the moon appeared from behind a cloud she saw that James’ home was a little cottage, complete with a thatch roof and what looked like a white picket fence.
“This looks like a house from a fairy tale,” she commented as she followed him inside.
“I know - not exactly what you imagine for a nearly thirty year old police officer, is it! But I love it.” He opened the door and flicked the lights on; Lee’s eyes blinked a little as they adjusted to the sudden glaring light, and she followed James through to a living room.
For all he said it wasn’t the kind of home people imagined, when she stepped into the living room she could just feel his presen
ce. There was a dark blue sofa in the middle of the room, pointing towards the television. A coffee table sat between the two, with a book of South Devon photography lying open on it and a mug - but other than that, the room was amazingly tidy. On the mantlepiece were three photographs - one of James as a teenager, with a boy and a girl who looked about the same age as him; one of James with a much older woman who Lee presumed was his gran, and one of James graduating with two adults who she thought must be his parents.
Underneath the photos lay a real fire, which James set about to lighting after telling Lee to make herself at home. She sat slightly awkwardly on the edge of the blue sofa, looking around and admiring the Christmas tree in the corner decorated in red, gold and silver decorations with a sparkling star sat right on top.
The South West Series Box Set Page 11