“Thank you for using the Christmas photo booth!” a voice called out from the machine, causing them to jump and disengage from one another. The three photos appeared on the screen, with a choice of backgrounds - snow, glitter, or Christmas trees. Lee took the lead, pressing buttons until the three photos had a different background each and pressed print. As she exited, James pressed the button again.
“Oh, it’s printed two!” Lee said as she collected them.
“I presumed the first lot were for you, and I wanted a copy!”
“I was going to share,” Lee said, sticking out her tongue and glancing at the copies. Her favourite was the one where James had kissed her cheek. She was flushed, smiling, ecstatic looking; and despite kissing her, you could see the upturned lips peeking out from where they met her skin. She loved the looks of happiness on their faces.
Placing the photos in her bag carefully, she glanced up and her smile widened. James’ glance followed hers: mistletoe.
“Well, we may have jumped the gun slightly on that one,” Lee said with a little laugh.
“But we can’t ignore mistletoe Lee, it’s the rules…” For a moment their eyes met and neither moved a muscle, caught in the moment with the Christmas music and fake snow all around them. Then their lips touched and they allowed themselves the luxury of a few seconds of kissing in this crowded place - after all, there was mistletoe. And it was part of the Christmas rules…
“Right, I need to run to the ladies quickly, okay?” Lee said.
“I’ll meet you by the door then, okay? We’ll go and get some dinner, if that sounds good.”
“Brilliant.”
Lee wound her way back through the festive maze of decorations, but not towards the signs for the bathrooms. She struggled to find her way back, and was beginning to stress about the time she had been gone, when she spotted it. She headed straight for the tills and got it into her bag as quickly as possible, so James wouldn’t see it.
It had been a spur of the moment decision, and never had they said they would get each other Christmas gifts, but Lee knew she couldn’t leave the shop without that black Labrador ornament.
James was waiting by the door, slightly taller than the majority of the other shoppers, and Lee made a beeline for him. Without saying anything, he held out his hand and she slipped hers into his as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Ready for dinner?” he asked, and she nodded; it was great to be out with him, and it was great to see more of the area than just Totnes and Dartmouth, the only two places she had really visited.
“Could we go to a beach?” she asked as they were driving. “Before I go, I mean? I realised I’ve been in Devon a month and not been to a beach - even in the winter that’s got to be some sort of crime, right?”
“Definitely,” James said with a grin. “We could go on the twenty-seventh? If you don’t have to work.”
“I’m sure I can square it,” Lee said, excited that they had planned another date.
They pulled up outside a small village pub, with a Christmas tree out in front and red lights strung in all the windows. The huge wooden door opened into a cosy pub with a roaring fire and yet another beautifully decorated Christmas tree, surrounded by presents that Lee assumed were props.
“This okay?” James asked, running his hand through his hair.
“Looks great. Can I get you a drink?”
“I’ll get them,” James said, putting his hand in his pocket to pull out his wallet.
“No, you’ve cooked for me and bought me hot chocolate and mince pies - I’ll get these.”
“If you’re sure - I brought you here, I’m happy to pay!”
“No, honestly.”
“All right, all right, you’ve twisted my arm. I’ll have a half pint of whatever’s on tap please,” James said.
They took their drinks and two menus to a table nearest the fire, and Lee was pleased to be able to defrost a little and remove her coat. They ordered fish and chips - it seemed like a very appropriate menu for the location, if not the weather - and were chatting away as they waited for it to come.
“So,” James asked, sipping his beer and regarding her over the top of it. “You’re nearly at the end of your stay in Totnes. How’s it been?”
“Exactly what I needed,” Lee said, without missing a beat. “I mean, Totnes is so different to anywhere I’ve been before… and some of the people I’ve met have been a bit unusual - did I tell you about the time I tried to get a bus and a man tried to sell me a book on the occult? He would not take no for an answer, I had to get off at the next stop.” Lee laughed at the memory, which had given her a very interesting flavour of a few of the town’s residents. “But I’ve loved it.”
“Can I ask, then,” James began, swallowing before he continued. “Why you’re leaving?”
“James…” It was such a hard question, and it felt so much like her leaving was linked to him, like leaving was akin to saying that she didn’t want a relationship with him - but it had always been in the plan, to leave. She was a lawyer, a partner - she couldn’t leave that forever. This was always going to be a break, not her new life.
Wasn’t it?
“I’m not pressuring you, and it’s not about us, I promise. Well, it’s not totally about us. But… you said yourself, you’ve loved it. And so I just don’t understand why you don’t make it permanent, if you’re happy.”
Lee was given a brief moment of respite as their food was set down on the table in front of them, and she tried to put all the thoughts and feelings into words.
“I am happy. These last few days with you… this last month with Gina, and the café - it’s given me more happiness than I’ve felt in a long time. But maybe that’s because it’s all new; and I do have a life up there. Granted, I don’t have a home, or a husband anymore - and I have a divorce to organise. But I have a career, and I worked too hard on that to give up on it.”
She was becoming upset now; she had let herself forget that when she went back it wouldn’t just be to her job, but to trying to find a home, to no husband, to divorce papers and arguments over money. While she was here, Nathan seemed to have generally left her alone…
James’ hand reached hers across the table. “I’m sorry, Lee. I shouldn’t have pushed it. It’s just… you seem happy, and I want you to keep having that. But now I’m the idiot who’s made you unhappy. Let’s just forget it, hey, and enjoy the rest of the days we’ve got together? Because these last two dates have been the most fun I’ve had in years.”
Lee smiled a little, and squeezed his hand before reaching for her knife and fork. As they ate, his words swirled around her head, making her question the decisions she had made. It all seemed so obvious: she had a job to get back to, she needed to return.
But was that completely necessary?
Chapter 17
Christmas day dawned cold and bright, but without the promised snow. Lee woke up at nine, relishing the chance for a lie-in with the café closed and no pressures on her for the day. She lay in bed for half an hour, letting herself wallow a little; allowing herself to think about what this day would normally hold.
She would have been up early wrapping last minute presents - she was always too busy before Christmas to get it done in time - and would enjoy a glass of bubbly with Nathan to celebrate the festive day. She found it wasn’t as painful to think of Nathan a few weeks on… but it was still painful to think of what could have been.
Then they would drive to her mother’s house, laden with gifts and the traditional fruit cake that Lee always brought to Christmas dinner. Beth would be there, complaining about the commercialism and stealing Christmas cookies when she thought she could get away with it without her mother telling her off for ruining her appetite.
And they would have the big meal together, just the four of them (unless Beth had happened to have a boyfriend that year) and watch the Queen’s speech on the television. Then Nathan would usually fall asleep in the ch
air after one too many glasses of wine, and Lee would have to avoid the alcohol because she was the designated driver. Mum, Beth and Lee would share a box of chocolates, watch a Christmas film and for once feel as though they were on exactly the same page.
The one thing that Lee had wanted for the last couple of years was children around, to make the day more magical; children to wrap presents for, children waking her up early in the morning to see if Father Christmas had been.
But that was a dream that belonged in the past, she decided; it wasn’t realistic right now. And so she tried to push it from her mind and focus on what was going to be great about this Christmas day. She was spending the morning with Gina (who she presumed was still sleeping off a hangover from her Christmas Eve night out with friends the night before, which Lee had politely declined going to), and they were going to watch a Christmas film and drink Buck’s Fizz together. Then Gina would go off to her parents’ house, and Lee planned to have a soak in the bath, cook her own Christmas dinner for the first time ever and then sit in front of Christmas TV for the afternoon - alongside a bottle of wine or two. There was a festive novel waiting for her on the bookcase if she decided she’d had enough of TV for the day.
She left the warmth of her bedroom for the living room once she’d decided enough wallowing in the past was enough, and clicked the kettle on for a cup of coffee before the Buck’s Fizz. The heating clicked on and Lee found something suitably festive on the television and immediately began singing along to the Christmas tunes.
Gina appeared soon after: her hair was a little bedraggled and she had a slightly sore head, but she smiled when she saw Lee caught up in the festive spirit.
“Merry Christmas!” Lee said as she spotted her friend and flatmate enter the room. “Coffee’s ready for you!”
“Merry Christmas - even if no-one should be this chirpy at this time of the morning.”
“I’ve decided to take every ounce of Christmas joy I can find, and leave any negativity at the door.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Gina said, hopping over the back of the sofa, grabbing her coffee from the side where Lee had left it.
“And I’m looking forward to my very first Christmas dinner cooked by me. I don’t know how I’ve got through so many years without getting round to cooking one.”
“Ah, I haven’t either - I just always go to my mum’s! Are you sure you’re going to be all right here on your own? I feel awful leaving you.”
“Don’t be silly, I’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to it.”
“You could always go round to James’… you have a Christmas gift for him, don’t you?”
“He never invited me for Christmas, G - I can’t exactly turn up. Besides, that says a lot more commitment than I can handle, when I’m leaving in a few days.”
“I still can’t believe I’m going to have to find a new flatmate,” Gina said with a sigh.
“No negativity on Christmas day!” Lee said. “But you know I’m sorry. And I’ve paid the rent for two months, so there’s no rush. Besides, hopefully the café will bring in enough that you won’t need to have a flatmate eventually.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Gina said, rolling her eyes with a good-natured smile.
Lee popped the cork to the bubbly and quickly poured it into two glasses before it fizzed over. She handed one to Gina, and they clinked their glasses together. “To Christmas wishes,” Gina said with a grin. “May they all come true.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Lee said, settling down on the sofa with a blanket over her legs.
“Hey, Gina, look! Look! It’s snowing!” Lee turned her head the window, and sure enough, small little white flakes were falling from the sky. They both jumped up, as excited as school kids, and pressed their faces to the window to see the first white Christmas either of them could remember. The flakes weren’t massive, it was true, and they weren’t falling that fast - but they were beginning to settle on the abandoned pavements outside their flat and on the rooftops of house filled with Christmas lights.
At that moment, Lee’s phone buzzed in her pyjama pocket, and she pulled it out to find a message from James.
It looks like the Christmas wish of a white Christmas did come true! Here’s hoping both of our Christmas wishes come true. Merry Christmas Lee - looking forward to our beach visit. James xxx
Gina, who was reading over her shoulder, chuckled and gave Lee a friendly shove. “You should so go over there. Surprise him. Maybe wearing a coat and nothing underneath…”
“Gina!” Lee shrieked. “As if I could do that! And stop reading my messages.”
“Yeah, yeah, you totally could, but maybe it’s more my style than yours. Anyway, it’s present time.” She bent below their Christmas tree, decorated in lights, tinsel and baubles of every shape, colour and size, and passed Lee a flat, rectangular present wrapped in sparkly blue paper.
“Gina, you didn’t need to get me anything!”
“Open it, open it!” she said, the Christmas excitement having clearly affected her.
Lee ripped the paper off eagerly, and found a beautiful print in a thin, silver frame. The print was an artistic portrayal of Totnes high street, with snow covering the buildings and the roads.
“I thought it could go in your office in Bristol,” Gina said with a sad smile. “And remind you of us - and make sure you visit the café you own!”
Lee threw her arms around Gina, desperate to hide the tears that she could feel beginning to fall. “It’s perfect, Gina - and I’ll definitely be back. You’ll be wishing you could get rid of me.”
“Oh,” said Gina, trying to ignore the fact that they both had tears in their eyes. “You’re not going to become that boss, are you - the one that never lets the manager just get on with her job?”
Lee laughed; “That sounds just like me! Now, my turn.” She pulled a second parcel from under the tree. This one was wrapped in silver paper, and it was small and hard. Gina ripped the paper off as enthusiastically as Lee had, and looked a little surprised to see a blue jewellery box. She lifted the lid cautiously, and there lay a pair of delicate silver unicorns, hanging from earrings. Their horns were tiny coloured gems and a light sparkle shimmered on their tails.
“I thought they were unique, just like you,” Lee said.
“I love them! Thanks, Lee.” They hugged again, admiring their presents in the strange light coming through the snow-covered window.
“Come on then, this Christmas film won’t watch itself,” Gina said, and they both tried to put their presents and their emotions to one side, and enjoy a festive filled couple of hours.
It felt like no time at all until Gina had to go, and Lee realised that she had been so wrapped up in their film and the snow that she hadn’t replied to James’ text. She glanced out of the window, where all the houses and streets looked like they were covered in a light dusting of icing sugar, before pulling out her phone.
Merry Christmas! Definitely feels like a bit of Christmas magic. See you the day after tomorrow - unless we’re snowed in! :) Lee xxx
She glanced at the small, silver parcel sat under the tree for James, and wondered whether it had been a silly idea - would it be too late to give it to him on the twenty-seventh? She realised she really should have given it to him before Christmas - but something had been holding her back. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to seem like she was building any sort of long lasting relationship with him… because it had been her who had said she couldn’t commit.
Bringing her phone into the bathroom to blast out some Christmas music, Lee ran a boiling hot bath with plenty of bubbles and a sprinkle of the bath salts she had treated herself to the previous week. She watched as the bubbles grew, filling the bath, crackling quietly as they began to pop. The frosted glass that looked out onto the street always let in limited light, but with a dusting of snow building up on it the room grew even darker, and so Lee decided to light some candles.
Excited about her luxurious Christmas bath, she stripped off and qui
ckly slid under the hot water and bubbles as - even with the heating having been on all day - the air in the flat was chilly. She swirled her hand through the bubbly water, enjoying the feeling of the water on her cold skin, feeling her muscles relaxing after a very busy week in the café.
It was here that - despite the loud Christmas music - she let her mind wander. She closed her eyes and pictured James, and found herself smiling. He’d asked her why she couldn’t stay - now she found herself asking the same question. Yes, the law firm, yes, her job… but god he made her happy. She knew it was new and exciting and the chemistry was electric… but she was desperate to see him, to make love with him, cuddle up with him by the fire and talk about their lives…
It was as she put her head under the water to let the water soak through her hair and over her face that it hit her: Why couldn’t she have something with James? She didn’t have to marry him or anything - after all, that would be illegal since she was still unfortunately very much married. But why couldn’t she date him? Call him her boyfriend? Have fairly regular, mind-blowing sex with him? Even if - when - she moved back to Bristol. After all, it was only a couple of hours away. They could meet up regularly… and if it didn’t work out, then she wouldn’t risk bumping into him while shopping.
The South West Series Box Set Page 14