“Why should I lie?”
“Why did you lie?” he returned.
She got up from her chair, pulling her robe tight around her from her neck to where it fell midthigh. “Wait right here,” she said, then left the room.
He snorted. Where the hell did she think he was going? She was back before he could answer his own question.
“Here,” she said, handing him two gold-framed eight-by-ten photographs.
Before he looked at them, he knew they were of her son, Glenn. After he looked at them, he knew without doubt that Glenn was his son, too. The boy in one of the photos could have been Calvin, except for his skin color. Calvin was a shade or two lighter than the dark-brown-skinned Glenn. The second frame held a photo, probably taken recently, of an older Glenn. Dillon knew he’d looked much like the boy at that same age.
He studied the photos longer than necessary to keep from looking at Monique. He didn’t know what he’d do if he looked at her. What kind of woman deceived not one man, but two? And what about Glenn? What was this going to do to his son?
“I found out I was pregnant a week or so before the senior prom. I was happy and scared at the same time.” Those two emotions had dogged her for years. First, because of the pregnancy. Later, because of her lie. “You know how much I wanted your baby.”
Her voice grated on him, but he didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. Not yet. He’d thought he couldn’t hurt worse than the day he’d learned she was married and pregnant, but now he knew he was wrong.
“I know this is a shock, Dillon, and I can imagine what you must think about me—”
He looked up at her then. Her flinch told him that she correctly read the disgust in his eyes.
“My actions weren’t as coldhearted as they seem,” she continued. “I didn’t tell you about the baby because I didn’t want you to be saddled with a family before you were ready.”
He laughed, a hollow sound this time. “Let me get this straight, Monique. You lied to me and gave my son to another man because you were thinking of me. Do I have it right?”
“You have it right, but you still don’t understand.”
Dillon understood, all right. He understood everything. His understanding had become clear that afternoon ten years ago when he’d found her, pregnant and married, in Charleston, three hundred miles from Elberton. When she’d told him she was married, he’d gone into shock. At first he hadn’t believed her, then she’d uttered the words that had killed whatever love he’d had for her. “I’m pregnant with his baby,” she’d said, referring to the man with her. He’d had no response for that bombshell. He’d staggered away from her and the man who’d been old enough to be her father and gone home to heal. It had taken him years, and though he’d known he would never get over her and what she’d done to him, he’d put it in perspective and moved on.
And now she was bringing it all back. All the hurt and all the distrust. He had a son. A son he’d been denied for nine years.
He glanced up at her and saw the tears in her eyes. Why was she was crying when he was the injured party? he wondered, fighting the irrational urge to comfort her.
She wiped at her tears, then stood up, unnecessarily tugging at her robe. “I only told you it was his baby to make you leave. I didn’t want me and my baby to be a burden to you.”
Dillon thought he was in some place resembling the twilight zone. “What are you talking about?”
Her tears flowed freely now and he steeled his heart against them. “I was so scared, Dillon. All my life my aunt had told me what a burden I was. I can still hear her telling me that. She blamed my mother for dumping me off on her, and she accused me of ruining my mother’s life. I was tired of being a burden, and I couldn’t let my baby become anybody’s burden. I couldn’t do that to my child, Dillon. I just couldn’t.”
“You thought I wouldn’t want you and the baby? How could you think that, Monique? I loved you and I would have loved our baby.”
She smiled a sad smile. “I know you loved me, Dillon, and that’s why I had to do what I did.”
“This is not making sense. You left me because I loved you?”
“Don’t you see?” she pleaded. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me. I trusted your love that much. So I had to leave you. That’s why I married Charles and that’s why I told you I was pregnant with his baby. I had to do something, say something, that would get you out of my life so that you could have a life. You loved me then, but soon you would have blamed me for the changes a wife and baby made in your life. I couldn’t have handled watching your love for me die, Dillon. You were all I had and I loved you too much.”
“So you’re saying that you lied to me because you loved me?” His words dripped with sarcasm. “Either you’re crazy or I’m crazy because that makes absolutely no sense to me.”
“It made sense to me,” she said. “Let’s be realistic, Dillon. What would you, a high school student, have done with a wife and child?”
“Because of you, we’ll never know.” He stared at her, wondering what had been going through her mind when she’d made her decision. He knew the sadness he saw on her face mirrored the sadness on his own. He shook his head, then quickly scrambled to his feet. He couldn’t be with her anymore. He was going to start yelling or he was going to pull her into his arms and comfort her. Neither act was appropriate. “I’ve got to get out of here. I can’t talk about this anymore.”
He placed the framed photos on the table, then walked to the door. He reached for the knob, then released it and went back to the table. He picked up the frames and his gaze met hers. “He’s my son,” he said. Then he took the photos and left her apartment.
Monique stood staring at the door for a long while after Dillon had gone. She’d told him the truth, and, as expected, she’d hurt him all over again. It didn’t help her to know that it would have been more cruel to keep her secret. She only hoped that one day he’d understand her motivations and forgive her lies.
She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, chilly though the room was warm. She’d told him. Now the next move was his. She would just have to wait until he made it.
Dillon parked his truck a block away from his house. He had to compose himself before going home or Donald would know something was wrong and badger him until he found out what it was. He knew he had to share his news with his family, but he wasn’t ready to do that yet. He had to find some place of understanding, some position from which he could stand, or this would break him.
There was no use lying to himself any longer. Monique was the only person in the world who could hurt him this way. She’d had that power ten years ago, and she still had it today. A part of him wished he’d never known her. Yet, even after all the hurt she’d caused him, another part of him knew that loving her was an experience he wouldn’t have wanted to miss. He just hated that his love had been wasted on a woman who had twice proven herself unworthy.
He turned the knob for the truck’s interior light and picked up the most recent photo of Glenn. His son. His oldest boy. Tears formed in his own eyes now as he thought about the child he’d never known. How would the boy handle all this? And Calvin. How would this affect him?
Dillon didn’t want to think how different his life would have been if Monique had told him the truth. He knew they would have married immediately. The baby, though unplanned, would have been welcomed with love. He and Monique had often talked about children. She’d known how badly he wanted to see her grow large with his baby. He’d told her often enough.
But though he’d believed in Monique and their love, she hadn’t believed in him. Not enough to trust him and his love when it mattered most. Not enough to tell him about their child and give him a chance to participate in whatever decisions had needed to be made. She’d had so little trust in him that she’d given his child to another man. He couldn’t think of a greater betrayal.
“You definitely have a way with women,” he told himself. “One woman takes your son and leaves y
ou, while another one deserts both you and your son.”
Dillon shook his head. He didn’t understand women and he knew now that he never would. All he knew was that he’d been dealt a tough hand, but a hand he was determined to play. He had to, because he loved his sons. Both of them.
Chapter Four
Monique was already awake when her alarm clock went off at seven o’clock the next morning. She turned and pressed the snooze button, then lay on her back, her arms folded across her stomach. Right now, she felt very much alone. As alone as she’d felt ten years ago when she’d made the difficult and heartbreaking decision to leave Elberton without telling Dillon about her pregnancy.
Though her decision had been a tough one, she had been convinced at the time it was the right one. For her, for Dillon and for their baby. She could still hear her aunt’s hate-filled words. “I hope you don’t end up like your. momma,” she’d said. “She was too young to know what to do with a baby and that boy she was running around with wasn’t any better.”
By the time Monique was twelve years old, she’d known the shame and heartache her birth had caused her mother. “Having a baby ruined both their lives,” her aunt often told her. “And after your father ran out on her, your momma just couldn’t take it. So one day she comes to visit me then sneaks out in the middle of the night, leaving you here.” Monique heard the words now as if her aunt were again speaking to her. “What did I want with a baby?”
Tears again filled Monique’s eyes. She couldn’t have put Dillon in the situation of having a baby he didn’t really want. Sure, they’d talked about having a baby, but they’d always talked about sometime in the future. After they’d finished college and after they’d gotten married. They hadn’t said anything about a baby in high school. Young and in love, they hadn’t even considered the possibility.
But she’d had to face the reality when she’d learned she was pregnant. And she had known that life with a baby would be drastically different from life without one. For her, it had meant college was out of the question. She hadn’t seen any way she could go to college and take care of her baby. The thought of her aunt helping out never crossed her mind. If anything, she hadn’t wanted her aunt’s viciousness to touch her baby’s life. No, she’d wanted to protect her unborn child and Dillon.
Oh, God, Dillon, I loved you so much, she thought as tears rolled down her cheeks. I loved you so much.
She wiped at her tears and tried to get a grip on her emotions. You’ve got to stop looking back, she told herself. Think about your son. He’s the reason you’re back here.
Dear, sweet, miserable Glenn. She knew her son was hurting. And he had been hurting ever since Charles had died. The two had been so close that it pained her to think how much Glenn missed Charles. They’d been father and son. Buddies. Friends. She could only imagine the empty space that now existed in her son’s heart. She knew even before his doctor had told her that Glenn’s erratic behavior, his surliness and the drastic change in his personality were just ways of filling the void left by Charles’s death.
Things had seemed to get better when she signed him up for the Big Brother program, but that had soon worn off. The day after the first time his Big Brother had called to cancel a planned outing, Glenn had gotten into a fight at school. She’d been horrified when the principal had called her with the news. Then she’d known it was time to tell Dillon the truth. Glenn needed a man he could count on in his life. He needed a father. His father.
Monique groaned then sat up in bed. She wished she could stay here all day. But she knew she had to face the day and Dillon. And his anger. Not that she blamed him for being angry. She didn’t. She just hadn’t realized how much his anger would hurt her. And she hadn’t realized just how much she still loved him.
Tossing those thoughts aside, she climbed out of bed. A knock at her front door sounded just as she was about to step into the shower. She grabbed her robe, sucked in her breath and braced herself for another round with Dillon. She pulled open the door without checking the peephole and was surprised to find not Dillon, but his younger brother, Donald.
“Guess you were expecting someone else,” he said, wearing the same charming Bell smile that his older brother wore. Donald had broken a lot of hearts in his day and she imagined he still did. He looked quite the hunk in his navy police uniform.
“Hi, Donald,” she said, wondering what he was doing at her place. Had Dillon already told him about Glenn? Though Donald had been the one member of the Bell family, other than Dillon, who genuinely liked her, she wondered if her secret would change his opinion. “This is a real surprise. When did you become a police officer?”
He leaned against her doorjamb. “Somebody has to make the world safe for women and children. I thought I’d give it a shot.”
She stepped back from the door. “Do you want to come in for a few minutes? I have an appointment at the school this morning, but I have some time now.”
“No, I don’t want to intrude,” Donald said. “Besides, I’m on my way to work. Early shift today. I just wanted to stop by and welcome you back to Elberton.”
“Why, thank you, Donald.” She realized then that his were her first real words of welcome. Dillon’s halfhearted words that day at the ice-cream shop had been spoken in sarcasm. “It was so nice of you to come all the way over here just to tell me that,” she said, pushing away her troubled thoughts.
He gave a sheepish smile that reminded her of his brother. “Well, I’d heard you were back in town and I wanted to see you for myself.”
She wondered what else he’d heard. “I’m definitely back.”
“And looking just as pretty as ever.”
“You’re flirting with me,” she said with a smile. “I don’t believe you, Donald Bell.”
Donald grinned. “I’ve always flirted with you, Monique. I flirted with every girl Dillon and Darnell dated. Of course, none of you took me seriously.”
Monique enjoyed the memories with a smile. “And you would have been hurt if we had. We all knew the Bell brothers were a team.”
“And that’s why I liked flirting with you.” Donald stood to his full height, which was only a couple of inches shorter than his brother. “I guess I’d better go. I don’t want to be late for work.”
“Thanks again, Donald,” she said. “I appreciate your stopping by. Don’t be a stranger.”
He grinned down at her as if he knew something that she didn’t. “Somehow I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. See you around, Monique.”
As Monique closed the door, she wondered what Donald’s grin and cryptic words meant. Did he think she and Dillon were seeing each other again? She certainly hoped not. All she needed now was for the Bells to think she was making a play for their son. They’d be in enough shock once they found out about Glenn.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Then she went to get dressed for her meeting at the school.
Dillon went through the motions of getting Calvin ready for day care. When the boy was dressed, he padded after Dillon into the kitchen for their standard half pastry and a quick glass of juice. Calvin’s day care served a light breakfast around midmorning, which meant Dillon didn’t have to cook every morning.
“Will we see Moni today?” Calvin asked between bites of his pastry.
Dillon placed his glass of juice on the table. “I don’t know,” he said carefully. “Do you want to see her?”
The boy nodded. “She smells good,” he said. “Like Mama.”
Dillon’s heart contracted in his chest. At this moment, he hated Teena. “You’ve been thinking about your mom?”
Calvin nodded. “Moni smells like her. I like Moni.”
Dillon didn’t have a comment. He rubbed his hand lovingly across his son’s head. “Finish your pastry so we can get to the center.”
He was able to get Calvin out of the house and off to day care without mentioning Teena or Monique again. The knowledge that both women were on his son’s mind a
s much as they were on his alarmed him. A boy Calvin’s age shouldn’t have to deal with a missing mother. And a man his age shouldn’t have to deal with a lying ex-girlfriend from high school.
He turned his pickup onto Mondale Avenue and into the Elberton High parking lot. He and the principal had a nine o’clock meeting with the new curriculum specialist, Mrs. Monique Johnson Morgan. And he needed all the prep time he could get to put his emotions in check before seeing her. He knew they had a lot to talk about, but he wasn’t ready to talk. He didn’t think he could now. Not rationally, at least. And he didn’t want their discussion to end in a shouting match. Monique was now a part of his life, whether he liked it or not, and they had to find a way to tolerate each other. For their son’s benefit.
An hour or so later, Malcolm Thomas stuck his head in Dillon’s office. “Monique’s here,” the principal said. “Our meeting has been changed to the library. She has some slides she wants to show us. See you in a few?”
“Sure,” Dillon said, standing. Malcolm seemed awfully anxious to get to this meeting, he thought. Had Monique snared him, too? “I’ll be along shortly.”
“No rush,” Malcolm said with a smile. “Ms. Morgan and I can spend some time getting better acquainted.”
Dillon dropped back down in his chair as Malcolm closed the door. His suspicion had been right. Monique had, in fact, snared another male. Though this one was not a Bell, he was definitely her type. In his mid-forties, the still-fit Malcolm was just the kind of guy Monique would go for. If she was still into older men. Dillon knew for a fact that many a single woman in Elberton had set her sights on Malcolm. Unfortunately, not one had been able to capture the heart of the widower yet. At least, none before Monique.
Second Chance Dad Page 4