“Hey, fellas,” Donald interrupted, with a wink and a smile for Monique. “What are you trying to do? Have a girl show me up? I told you we men have to stick together. Right?”
“Right,” both boys said.
Mrs. Bell clapped Donald on his shoulder with a serving spoon. “You’re a bad boy, Donald Bell.”
Donald grinned his take-no-prisoners grin, and Dillon couldn’t help noticing the smile that crossed Monique’s face when he did so. “It’s in my blood, Ma. Don’t blame me. Blame Dad.”
Daniel Bell lifted both hands. “Don’t bring me into this. I’ve always been a good boy.” He hugged his wife’s shoulders and lightly kissed her lips in a show of affection that was normal for them. “Why do you think Santa brought me the best gift in the world?”
Donald and Dillon both groaned at their father’s loving playfulness. “Don’t you two get started,” Donald said. “Remember the young eyes we have here.”
The older Bell shushed Donald and kissed his wife again. Dillon smiled and looked at the boys who were smiling, as well. When he lifted his glance to Monique, he was surprised to find yearning in her eyes. As if she sensed him looking at her, she turned her head ever so slightly in his direction. When their gazes met, it was a case of spontaneous combustion. He could feel her in his arms. Responsive. Ready. Willing. And he wanted to make that feeling a reality.
There was no use denying anymore what had happened between them two nights ago at Sue’s house. He’d tried to tell himself that it was just a case of heightened emotions. But now he knew that wasn’t true. Hell, he’d known then it wasn’t true. He just hadn’t wanted to face the truth of his feelings for Monique.
The truth was that she had cast some spell over him and he was totally unable to resist her. He found himself in a constant state of wanting. But for the presence of the boys—and he hated that he used his children as shields—they would have already taken this…whatever it was…to bed and figured out if they could conquer it.
His mother said something that caused Monique to reluctantly tug her gaze away from his. But the broken spell didn’t change his raging emotions. He and Monique needed to talk about what had happened between them and stop acting like a couple of teenagers. They were adults. Surely they could handle their emotions in an adult fashion. All they had to do was sit down and talk things through.
So what if he were attracted to Monique? he asked himself. That didn’t mean he had to follow through on the attraction. He returned his attention to his food, praying he was strong enough to fight what he felt.
“And don’t give Donald any trouble,” Monique told Glenn who was eager to head off to the ice-cream shop with Uncle Donald. The three adults and two children had been watching the Elberton Labor Day fireworks from the elder Bells’ back porch.
“Aww, all right, Mom,” Glenn said.
“That goes for you too, Calvin,” Dillon added. He then turned to Donald. “Do not let them talk you into allowing them to get on the playground equipment. It’s late and they need to be getting ready for bed instead of going out for ice cream. What made you suggest that anyway?”
Donald merely grinned at his brother. “Hey, I just wanted some time alone with my nephews. I’ll bring them back safely. You two worry too much.”
“Wait until you’re a parent,” Monique said. “Then you’ll understand.”
“That’ll be a long wait,” Donald said, pulling the boys to him. “Let’s go, fellas. I’m ready for some ice cream.”
“Yay,” the boys chorused.
Monique looked at Dillon who came and sat down next to her. The two of them shared a smile. “At least they’re getting along,” she said.
“They are at that. I didn’t realize there would be a downside though.”
“Downside?” she asked.
The streetlights illuminated his face when he grinned. “Yeah. They get along so well that they gang up on us. Reminds me of some other brothers I know.”
She smiled. “You, Donald and Darnell.”
“There wasn’t a trick in the book that we didn’t pull. And Darnell was the leader, since he was the oldest. He always had some gimmick, and like little robots Donald and I went along with everything he said.”
Monique envied the childhood that Dillon spoke of, much as she’d envied it when they were teenagers. She’d never felt the love or the camaraderie that he shared with his brothers. And she’d often wondered what it must be like. Even though she’d never personally experienced it, she was glad that her son would. She’d brought him to Elberton so he could. “The boys are loving it. And I think Glenn loves having an uncle. He’s needed men in his life for a long time, and he’s just taking all of you in, including your dad.”
“And Ma,” Dillon added in a, wistful tone that Monique didn’t expect.
“What is it, Dillon?” she asked. “Aren’t you glad he’s accepted them so easily?”
He stood up and extended his hand to her. “Walk with me,” he said.
Responding to the sudden change in his demeanor, Monique took his hand. “What’s wrong?”
He led her down the steps, around the house and out onto the sidewalk. The street was filled with the sounds of laughter, music and families just having a good time.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Glenn calls Donald, Uncle Donald.”
Monique squeezed his hand. He was concerned about his son’s affection. “He’ll come around, Dillon. It’s just easier for him to accept Donald as an uncle than it is for him to accept you as a father. I know he enjoys being with you, and he’s starting to count on you to be there for him.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“Well, I know so,” Monique said with confidence. “I think he may feel that accepting you as a father would somehow be disloyal to Charles.”
Dillon looked down at her, and the concern and love in his eyes touched her deeply. “Has he said anything?”
She shook her head and wanted to press her palm against his cheek in an act of comfort. She resisted the urge. “If he says something, I’ll let you know. But I think we should just let things take their course. They’re moving along as well as we could have expected.”
He didn’t respond immediately, and she knew he was considering her words. “I know you’re right,” he said with a sigh as they turned the corner. “I never expected to feel this way. It’s as though I’m jealous of the affection he shows Donald, and that makes no sense.”
She stopped, and when he stopped, too, she looked up into his eyes. “That’s so sweet, Dillon.”
“Oh, no,” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “Not sweet again.”
She smiled. “Yes, sweet, dear and normal.”
He shook his head. “Normal to be jealous because your son calls his uncle Uncle? Doesn’t sound normal to me.”
“That’s because you expect so much of yourself.” And of those around you, she added silently. “It’s only human that you want your son to call you Daddy. It’s like when they’re babies and you want their first words to be Mama or Daddy. Glenn’s first words were Uncle, and you wanted them to be Daddy. It’s perfectly normal that you’re disappointed.”
He did what she’d been too hesitant to do—he placed his hand against her cheek. “How’d you get so smart?”
“Nine years with Glenn,” she said softly. Her heart beat so heavily in her chest that she wondered if he heard it. His hand against her cheek burned into her soul.
He chuckled. “That’ll do it, all right” He dropped his hand from her face, took her hand in his and continued walking.
Monique tried to keep her traitorous thoughts on Glenn and Calvin, but they wouldn’t obey. Instead, they entertained visions of her and Dillon as they had been before, and teased her with what they could possibly be again.
“Did you enjoy the day?” he asked.
She’d more than enjoyed it, but she didn’t want to let him know how much. “I’m glad the boys had
a good time.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “I know.”
He stopped again and looked down at her. This time the passion of the other evening was back with them and she knew they were on the road to trouble. “I had a very good time,” she said. “Your family was very gracious to me.”
“Hmm.” He stared at her lips and she hoped he wasn’t thinking the same thing she was thinking. “I told you they’d like you.”
She couldn’t help it. She ran her tongue across her lips. She’d had to. With him staring at her as he was doing, her lips had felt dry and brittle. “I wouldn’t say that they like me yet, but we’re moving in that direction.”
“And what direction are we moving in, Monique?” His voice was a soft caress.
She opened her mouth to deny they were moving in any direction, but he lowered his head and captured her mouth with his, and all thoughts of anything but the kiss fled her mind. She’d wanted to kiss him this way since that ill-fated lovemaking attempt at Sue’s house. It was only a kiss, she told herself as she leaned into him, responding to his attack on her senses.
Dillon heard her moan in the back of her throat and increased the pressure of the kiss. It had only been two days, but it seemed ages since he’d held her in his arms. He’d tried denying his longings, and when that had failed, he’d tried ignoring them. Obviously, that wasn’t working, either.
It’s just a kiss, he told himself, but he knew he was lying. This wasn’t just a kiss. It was a heart-scorching display of passion on a sidewalk in plain view of anyone who happened to walk by, drive by or look out of their windows.
He took one last nip at her lips, then regrettably lifted his head. Seeing the question in her eyes, he couldn’t resist the temptation for one more nip. He took it, then smiled at her.
“What are we doing?” she asked, breathless from his kiss, but needing to know what he wanted from her.
“Seems to me that we’re kissing in the middle of the street,” he said.
She dropped her gaze from him and started walking again. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”
He fell into step with her. “I know what you meant. And I’m not sure what we’re doing.”
Though she’d repeatedly told herself not to expect anything, she was hurt by his evasive answer. “Whatever it is, I think it needs to stop.”
Dillon didn’t respond. He didn’t want to think about what was happening between them. He knew that if he thought about it, he would come to the conclusion she’d just voiced. It needed to stop. It needed to stop because there was no future for them. Not with the history they’d shared. “You’re right,” he said with more confidence than he felt. “And I’m sorry for getting carried away. It won’t happen again.”
“Good,” she said, but could say no more. Her heart had clogged up her throat. Why did it hurt so much that he didn’t put up more resistance to her suggestion? Why couldn’t he have expressed some modicum of care for her? Why? Why? Why?
Chapter Eleven
Monique was still asking herself “Why?” the next day as she rushed through her meetings at the high school, so she could squeeze in some time to meet Glenn’s new teacher at Elberton Elementary before he started classes on Friday. She wanted to be sure his teacher understood that she was going to be an involved parent.
At the end of her third session, she checked her watch and realized that she was almost late for her eleven o’clock teacher meeting. She ran by her office, dropped off some papers and quickly headed for the door.
“Hey, where are you rushing off to?” Malcolm asked. He and Dillon stood in the hallway outside the principal’s office near the front entrance of the school.
She smiled, sparing only a brief glance at Dillon. Though they’d agreed that the kisses they’d shared would not be repeated, she couldn’t forget or dismiss the attraction she had for him. “I’m running late for a meeting with my son’s teacher,” she told them.
“Why didn’t you mention this to me?” Dillon asked.
She gave him a full appraisal then. And he looked most attractive in his casual dark brown suit. He also looked angry. “It didn’t occur to me, Dillon,” she answered honestly.
His look said he didn’t believe her. He turned to Malcolm. “Can we finish talking about this later? It seems I have a meeting at the elementary school.”
Malcolm nodded, though Monique noticed the curious expression that came across his face. He obviously wondered what was going on with the two of them.
Dillon took Monique’s arm and escorted her out of the building and in the direction of his pickup. “My car’s over there,” she said, pointing in the opposite direction.
“And my truck’s over here.” He pointed to the red pickup. When they reached it, he opened the passenger door. “Get in. I’ll drive.”
“This is not necessary, Dillon. I can drive.”
He ushered her into the truck, ignoring her words. “No need for us to take two cars.” He closed the door, a bit forcefully in her opinion, then strode around to the driver’s side and got in.
She tried not to be offended by his high-handed manner since she knew he was upset.
“If you want me to be a part of Glenn’s life,” he said once he was in the truck, “then why are you shutting me out of the important things?” His words were an accusation.
“I’m not shutting you out. It simply slipped my mind, Dillon.”
“Like it slipped your mind when you found out you were pregnant?”
She winced. “That’s not fair and it’s not true. This was an honest mistake. Back then, I deliberately kept the truth from you.”
Dillon knew he was overreacting, but he’d been overreacting all morning. First, he and Calvin had an argument about whether Calvin should go to day care or stay at his grandmother’s with Glenn. In the end, they’d decided that Calvin would stay at his grandmother’s with Glenn until Glenn’s school started. Then he’d had an argument with Malcolm about some inconsequential matter. And now this problem with Monique. She probably had forgotten to mention the teacher meeting to him. Hell, she’d been Glenn’s sole caretaker, other than some help from Sue, for the last three years, and she was used to being solely responsible for him. “Well, I’d appreciate it if we could talk about these things. I want to be a father to him, Monique, but you’re going to have to help me.”
“I know, Dillon, and I want you to be a father to him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the meeting with Mrs. Edwards, but, like I said, it didn’t occur to me.”
He believed her. And if he’d gotten any sleep last night, he would have seen the truth in her words immediately. “Okay, and I’m sorry for coming on so strong. I’ve been having a bad morning.” He didn’t see any need to tell her about his lack of sleep or the fact that it had been her face in his mind that had kept him awake.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, wondering if the cause of his bad morning was the same as the cause of her hectic one. She was doing anything and everything to keep from thinking about the kisses they’d shared.
He cast her a quick glance. “So are you planning to tell Mrs. Edwards about the problems Glenn’s been having?”
“Do you think I should?”
“You really want my opinion?”
She turned to look at him. “Yes, I do,” she said, and was surprised to find that she did. She was used to discussing these matters with Sue, but she and Sue had been so busy discussing her relationship with Dillon, that she’d not discussed this issue. “So tell me.”
“She needs to know that he’s at an emotional time in his life, but I don’t think she needs to know that he’s had a discipline problem. It may color her expectations for him. And we don’t want him to start out with any disadvantages.”
Monique considered his words. “I think you’re right. I was actually thinking the same thing. Besides, he’s adjusting so well.”
“We’ll continue to keep an eye on him
, though. We may not be out of the woods yet.”
She placed her hand atop his resting on the steering wheel. “Thanks, Dillon,” she said. “It feels good— and right—discussing this with you. I’d forgotten what it felt like to share this responsibility.”
Dillon cleared his throat, and she wondered if he was fighting tears. “No problem,” he said. “No problem at all.”
Dillon was still feeling the residual good feelings of his morning talk with Monique and their subsequent meeting with Mrs. Edwards when he reached his parents’ house later that afternoon.
Glenn and Calvin met him at the door with cheers and a list of requests. “Can I spend the night with Glenn, Daddy?” Calvin asked. “Please, Daddy?”
“Yeah, please, Dillon. Let him spend the night at my house.”
Dillon couldn’t have been more surprised or more happy about the request He figured the relationship with the boys was now sealed. He rubbed a hand across each boy’s head. “If it’s all right with Monique, it’s all right with me.”
“Yay,” both yelled.
“Hey,” Dillon’s mother said, coming to the front door to join them. She was dressed in an apron, which told him she was preparing dinner. “What’s all the noise about?” she asked the boys.
“Daddy said I could spend the night with Glenn and Moni.”
“Dillon said Calvin could spend the night at my house, Grandma.”
“I told you he would.” Mrs. Bell smiled at her grandsons. “Grandpa told me to tell you he had a surprise for you two.”
The boys cheered again then headed for the back of the house and Grandpa.
Dillon shook his head. “Are you sure you’re up for taking care of them every day, Ma? They’re a handful.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “I love having them here and you know it.”
He followed her when she turned and went back to the kitchen. “I didn’t say you didn’t like it, I just said they were a handful.”
After looking out the window at his father and the boys in the backyard, Dillon pulled out a chair from the dinette table and sat down. His mother joined him after she checked the oven.
Second Chance Dad Page 11