There’s nothing righteous about this. What happened to your faith?
That last thought almost made Tracey pull onto an exit ramp and turn the car around to head back up I-95 North. Almost. Where was her faith in God right now? Quick review of the last few months. God hadn’t shown up to keep Brian from sexing his nurse. God maybe allowed him to create a child with some mean-tempered woman. Dad was probably a few cold pizzas away from a heart attack or stroke. Ma and Jamal could lose their house if they didn’t find a way to keep up the mortgage payments. Tyler flat out announced he’d rather live with Kyle than with her. The sun still shined through Brianna’s smile, but that was probably because she was spoiled to death.
The cold air made Tracey’s teeth chatter, but she continued gripping the steering wheel rather than turn off the air conditioning. She shook her head and blinked. Where was she going again? Her brain had stopped normal processing. All it did was ache.
She rubbed her temple and talked out loud. “Lord, why do you keep letting people hurt me like this? What did I do so wrong? I loved Kyle to death and he left me with a newborn son and a broken heart. Then you gave me Brian— I love Brian, but he messed around on me and lied about the whole thing. Why?”
Thunder rolled in with the rain and flashes of lighting. Tracey gazed ahead on the road and saw the sign for the Delaware Welcome Center coming up off an exit. It would be best to stop there, go to the bathroom, and grab something to eat and drink. Her stomach growled loudly after riding around for hours fueled by pure adrenaline.
In the restroom, as she exited the toilet stall and headed to the sink to wash her hands, the phone buzzed inside of her purse. She ignored it, finished washing, and walked back outside to the vending area. By the time she’d dropped some coins and bought a soda and a bottled water, her phone buzzed again. She fished it out of her bag as she leaned on the front of the machine.
“Hello.” Tracey said.
“Where are you?” Brian demanded.
Tracey balanced the two cold bottles of liquid in her hands. “Out. Why?”
“I’m in the house now. I gave Brianna her dinner to eat and came upstairs to change. Why are your purses all over the floor and the bed?”
“I needed one of my bigger bags.”
“Tracey.” Long pause. “Where are you?” Brian insisted, sounding concerned.
“I left.”
Another long pause. “Say that again?”
“I left.” Tracey repeated, putting the sweaty bottles down by her feet. She glanced out the window and watched the rain pelting down from the dark gray sky. “I don’t want to see a paternity suit, harassment or another fight. Keep your house! Keep your money! Keep your life. Go get your new woman if you want. But understand this, I have a Savior. It is Not You!”
“Look, you’re hurt and tired. I know. I’m sorry about the fight, what I said—the whole night. I could apologize a million times for, but you’re talking crazy now! What about Brianna?” Brian asked.
She moved to a corner of the room where people weren’t milling around. “I’ll settle somewhere and make arrangements for her.”
“What are you saying?”
“I need space! After seeing Lisette … then what you said to me about it! I wanted to kill you. I’m not—I can’t stay in that house with you!”
“I don’t care where you are. Come back! If you don’t want me here, I’ll stay with Ricky and Charla until we work things out or even in an extended stay hotel. You can’t do this!”
“Yes. I can!”
“You’re my wife! This is our family! We can work this thing out. But we can’t do anything if you’re gone!”
“Brian, did you hear yourself last night? If I stay there, I’m changing the locks and calling a lawyer.”
“Running away is supposed to stop that?”
“Maybe. I don’t know,” she sniffed. “But it is keeping me from doing anything I’ll regret right away.”
“The world does not revolve around you! Can’t you forget about how you feel for a minute and think about your daughter?”
“I am thinking of her! She’s never seen me like this. All torn up and half-crazy.”
A frown creased her face as she stared at the vending machines. She needed to brave the storm. Have a meal. Find a hotel. If she ate and slept for a while in peace, maybe that would be enough to change her mind and send her traveling back up the highway to Philly.
“At least let me know where you are. Why the mystery? You know, if I check transaction records on the bank cards I can see where you are headed.”
What was the point of keeping him in the dark? “I’m on I-95 South. Traveling. I’ll end up somewhere. Don’t start worrying about me now when you weren’t worried about me this past winter,” she said. Then she hung up. Taking her compact umbrella from her bag, she put it up and rushed through the rain to her car.
Another thirty minutes down the road and she felt awful. Sweating and dizzy, she pulled over to the side of the highway. An uncontrollable cough seized her. She had trouble breathing. Frantic, she unscrewed the blue cap of her water bottle and took long sips. The first one cooled her down. The second swallow settled her coughing fit. Nice easy breaths. In. Out. In. Out. She would not faint if she kept breathing. She closed her eyes, focused on the waves of rain, and willed herself to relax.
At least she could push past an anxiety attack. Her marriage though? Probably over.
Prayer? No. She couldn’t form prayers anymore. Only thoughts directed to God in a haphazard fashion. Nothing made any sense. Her phone buzzed again, jolting her. She pulled it out of her bag, flipped it over and looked at the caller ID. Monica.
Tracey talked first. “I’m supposed to be at your place. I kept driving.”
“I know. Brian called me,” Monica said. “I’m still in my office. I thought you were crashed out sleeping at my place, then I get this crazy call from Brian …”
“Monica?”
“What you do is your business, I know the deal. But wherever you go and whatever you do, call me and let me know you are safe.”
“I will,” Tracey said, and clicked the phone off.
Another minute passed and Tracey’s cell rang again. Tyler?
“Mom, where are you?” Tyler demanded.
Leaning her back on the headrest, Tracey squeezed her eyes closed tighter. “I’m in my car on I-95.”
“Brian just called me sounding upset. He asked me if I’d heard from you and if I knew where you were. What’s going on?”
She choked up and started sobbing.
“Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Tracey tried to get hold of herself but kept weeping with the phone pressed to her chest. When she put the phone back to her ear, there were voices and noises in the background. Tyler talked fast to someone.
A deep voice came over the phone. “Tracey? What’s the matter?”
Kyle.
“Brian and I had a big fight. A bad one. We both got hurt. I left. Today I got in my car and I just started driving.” Tears streamed down her face.
Tyler’s voice floated around in the background. “She’s still crying? Let me speak to my mom. I wanna speak to my mom!”
“In a minute, sit down,” Kyle said firmly. His deep voice came through muffled. “Listen, your mom had a fight with Brian. She left the house and she’s upset right now.”
Tyler’s voice escalated. “A fight? I knew I shouldn’t have left her! He better not have hit her. He hit her didn’t he? Nah-uh. No! Did he hit her? Where’s the car keys? I’m going down there right now!”
“Hold on.” Kyle’s voice was still muffled. “Sit down boy, I’m handling this.” Then Kyle said, “Tracey, wherever you are, drive to my house. You can’t be out there alone like that.”
“I’m not coming there,” she sobbed as she wiped her
wet face with a crumpled tissue.
“You don’t have a choice. If Tyler doesn’t see you by tomorrow I’ll have to tie him to his bed because he’d actually go out there after you. I’ve got business to attend to and my father to be concerned about. Now come on. You’ll be safe here,” Kyle said.
“No. Put Ty on the phone and I’ll talk to him. He’ll settle down,” Tracey said.
“I don’t take no for an answer. I’m a busy man. Put my address in your GPS and get here.”
What could she do? Brianna would be a mess when her dad told her that her mother was gone, but Brian wouldn’t tell her about the fight. Now Tyler? A different story altogether. He actually knew about his stepfather’s affair with Lisette, and now he knew about the fight last night. If she didn’t go back to Philly or drive to New York, Tyler would go out on his own and walk if he had to until he found her.
She put the car back on the road and started looking for exit signs.
I-95 North.
Headed to New York.
25
It was almost eleven when Tracey parked in Kyle’s driveway. Her eyes were bone dry and her eyelids drooped. Her fingers had cramped into a curve from grasping the steering wheel for hours. She stretched out her fingers and wiggled them. Her jeans and shirt stayed glued to her skin, and her hips and legs had kinks in them, making her wobble as she dragged her body out of the car. All she wanted was to drop down on a bed and pass out.
“Whoa.” She shut the car door and stood in the driveway looking up at Kyle’s house. Her mouth gaped open when she realized pictures had not prepared her for its beauty. It was a gorgeous, stone-faced, mini mansion surrounded by a deep carpet of lawn edged by trees and woods. Green shutters decorated each window and a wide brick walkway wound from the front door to the long driveway. Rounded, landscaped flower beds added living colors to the front of the house.
Tyler yanked open the heavy red front door the moment Tracey leaned forward to ring the bell. As she stumbled into the foyer, he stood there and stared, rubbing his jaw and nodding at her. She let her bag down on the floor, leaned in, placed her arms around his waist and squeezed him.
“Mom, don’t do anything like that again,” he whispered.
She must have been hugging him a little too tight because he squirmed away after a minute, then looked down at her with sadness in his eyes. “I’m serious.”
Stepping back, Tracey grabbed his hands and gazed in his eyes. They were bloodshot and a bit swollen. More words weren’t needed. She’d been constant in his life since birth. There had never been a time when he didn’t know where she was.
“Never again, okay,” she promised.
He picked up her bag and guided her out of the foyer and down the tiled hallway. She loved Tyler so much. He’d been brought up right.
“Me and Dad, we have the back room down here ready for you. It’s next to the laundry room. It’s not much, but there’s a bed in it and a closet and dresser. Dad wants to turn it into a better looking guest room, but he never found the time. Come on.”
“Where is he?”
“He stayed up for a while, but he’s got meetings and stuff tomorrow. Remember when I talked to you and you were passing by Newark?”
“Yes.”
“Dad went to bed after that. He told me to wait up for you.” Tyler pushed opened a door at the end of the hallway. “This is it.”
The room was small and sparse but it looked like heaven to Tracey. Clean and quiet. She kicked her shoes off on the beige carpet and stretched out on the bed. Laying on her side with a pillow under her head, she closed her eyes.
Tyler’s voice drifted above her head. “If you need anything, I’m right upstairs.”
“Okay.”
“What happened to your feet? You got bandages all over them. Did you jump out of a window?”
She kept her eyes closed. “No, nothing close to that. I’ll let you know everything—it’s a long story. We have to talk about it later.”
“Yeah, all right. But when you wake up …” Tyler said.
“I know. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Tyler shut the door. Tracey fished her phone from her back and sent out a quick text to Monica.
I’m safe. Drove to New York. Here with Tyler, Kyle and the Addisons. Tyler is at peace and I’m resting in the guest room. We’ll talk later.
Should she call Brian? Definitely. Did she want to? No. Tracey turned her phone off, slipped it back into her purse, and turned the bedroom light off. In the dark silence, Tracey slept hard and long. When she woke hours later, she climbed out of bed and staggered out to the hallway, found a bathroom to relieve herself, and made her way back to the room where she sunk into deep slumber once again.
She drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the next day. No nightmares. No images. Quiet and still.
Noise coming from outside the house woke her up. Alternating deep voices. Tracey sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
“Tell her to come out here! Now!”
Brian?
Tracey bolted up off the bed, lunged over to the window and carefully peeked around the curtain. Sure enough, Brian stood in the driveway having what looked like a face-to-face argument with Kyle. She squinted. No way. First, who told him she was here? Second, what time was it? Third, who in the world had told him she was here? Silent questions. No answers. Tracey kept listening. Brian’s back was to the window so she couldn’t see his face, but she could make out some of Kyle’s facial expressions in the sunlight.
“Send her out here!” Brian demanded.
“I can’t do that,” Kyle answered, shaking his head.
Brian’s jaw tightened. “Then we have a problem because she shouldn’t have driven here, and no way is she staying.”
Kyle stood firm. “Man, look. The woman is exhausted. She was a mess when we talked to her on the road. Right now I think she’s sleeping. If she’s awake, I‘ll ask her if she wants to talk to you, but that’s her decision.”
“I’m coming inside. I’ll go and talk to her,” Brian insisted.
Again with the head shaking from Kyle. “I’m telling you, no. My parents are in the house. I just got home myself. Go home. Brianna needs you. Tracey will call you when she feels better. You know how she is.”
Brian’s voice grew louder. “You don’t need to tell me how she is! She’s my wife. Why is she here of all places? She has friends and family where we live. What kind of game are you all playing?”
“Game? Man, think about it, why would I call you if something shady was happening. I wanted you to know she was here. When we called her on the road she was crying. Sounding crazy. Tyler lost it. He wanted his mother where he could see her. So I asked her to come here. She said you two were fighting? What’s up with that?”
Tracey frowned. Kyle called Brian? No wonder he showed up in Long Island. He should have let her talk to him first. She wasn’t ready to see him again yet.
“I’m not discussing our personal business with you. I’m here to help my wife.” Brian said.
“You want to help her?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Then give her some space!”
Tracey kept the curtains clutched tight in her palm and watched, her lips pressed together hard. Neither man said anything for a moment. She wasn’t sure but it looked as if Brian’s fist was balled up. Holding her breath, she waited to see what would happen next.
“You don’t want to do this, man. Seriously. Come on, let me talk to you,” Kyle offered, turning and gesturing for Brian to walk along with him.
They walked off. Out of Tracey’s view and completely out of earshot.
Now what?
26
Shocked and tired? Yes. Stomach crunched in knots from hunger? Yes. Unsure of the condition of her marriage? Big neo
n green glittering sign flashing yes.
Still. Tracey didn’t need Kyle to fight her battle.
She made a beeline out of the house and paced back and forth in the driveway waiting for Brian and Kyle to return from wherever they’d walked off to in the neighborhood. She rubbed her eyes and looked down the street. Nobody walking along the sidewalks in either direction.
So Brian drove to New York. Tracey knew she should’ve called him when she reached Long Island, but she was exhausted, still angry, and partially delirious. Staying in the house behind the window instead of coming out right out to talk with her husband? Ugh. Jellyfish move right there. She didn’t have anything or anyone to hide from. If Brian wanted to see her, he could see her.
She gazed down the street until she saw the two men walking down the sidewalk toward the house. When they reached the driveway, Brian stopped in front of Tracey. Kyle gave a nod, but kept on moving, not saying a word to either of them as he went into the house and shut the front door.
Brian raised his hands. “I’m not here to fight with you.”
“Good. Because I don’t want to fight,” Se raised an eyebrow. “Where’s Brianna?”
He put his hands down. “With Ma and Jamal. I took her there this afternoon then I drove up here.”
“Does she … uh? Where does she—”
“I told her you took a break to visit old friends. That’s enough of the truth for her to handle.” Brian said.
“Thanks,” Tracey stammered. “You didn’t have to come here. I mean … I’m okay. Ty’s here.”
“Are you serious? I called Ma. I called Monica. I didn’t hear a thing from you all night and I was worried sick. Then Kyle calls this morning and tells me you’re at his house! Do you know how that made me feel?”
Tracey wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at the asphalt beneath her bare feet. Memories of her delirium on I-95 passed through her mind. She’d thought nothing good would come from this. She’d was right.
Broken Together Page 18