by Marie Force
“Send the text to Flynn.”
I reach for my phone and type out a quick message to Flynn, letting him know I’ll be unavailable tomorrow and possibly the next day.
He responds immediately. Are you okay?
I’m fine.
Things went as planned, I take it?
Better than planned.
Glad to hear it.
“Tell him to leave you alone now—and use those exact words.”
Hayden says you have to leave me alone now. His words, not mine.
Tell Hayden he’d better treat you like a queen.
Hayden reads the text I share with him. “Tell him I said to fuck off.”
“I’m not saying that to him.”
He takes the phone from me. “Then I will.” This is Hayden. Fuck off.
Flynn replies with laughing emojis.
“Now text your dad and tell him you had to go out of town unexpectedly and you’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“Why am I doing that?”
“So I can shut off your phone and not have you worry about anyone important trying to reach you.”
I tell myself this is what I wanted—Hayden’s full attention and his dominance. Now that I have both, I’m more than a little overwhelmed. I send the text to my dad.
Travel safely, sweetheart. Call me when you’re back in town.
Will do. Love you.
Love you, too.
Hayden takes the phone from me, powers it down and places it on the bedside table. “Come with me, my sweet.” He holds out his hand to me, and I’m left to wonder where we’re going. But since I’ve agreed to go anywhere he wishes to take me, I grasp his hand and let him lead me into a large walk-in closet full of gorgeous clothes organized by color. I’m about to ask what goes on in his closet when I notice a door at the far end.
He pushes the door open and turns on the light, revealing a room full of BDSM equipment that I recognize from the hours of online research I’ve done since I first learned of his affection for the lifestyle.
“What’re you thinking?” he asks after a long silence.
“How many other women have you had here?”
“You’re the first. I built this room a year ago, and I haven’t brought anyone here until now.”
Though I know he’s had many other partners, I’m comforted to know I’m the first he’s brought here.
“There’ve been others in my playroom at my place in town, but it’s been years since I brought anyone there. Okay?”
Nodding, I force myself to meet his intense gaze. He seems to be scrutinizing my every expression and reaction. His fingers tug at the knot on my robe until it falls open, and he pushes it off my shoulders.
I let it drop onto the floor and stand before him nude.
His eyes take a slow perusal from my face to my breasts to my groin and back up again. Every inch of me responds to the heated way in which he looks at me, as if he can’t wait to devour me. I can’t wait for that either.
“Are you scared?”
“Yes.” This is no time to be anything less than totally honest.
“Don’t be. I’ll never truly hurt you, Addie. You have to believe me when I tell you the only thing I want is your ultimate pleasure.”
“And my complete surrender.”
His face lifts into a sexy grin. “That, too.”
“What about your ultimate pleasure?”
He trails his finger around my left nipple, making circles that never seem to touch the part of me that burns for him. “Your ultimate pleasure will lead to mine.” Leaning in, he kisses my neck on his way to my lips. “First things first.”
Now that the moment of truth is upon me, my legs are trembling so hard I can barely remain standing. I remind myself that this is exactly what I said I wanted.
“What’re you afraid of?” he asks.
“That I went to all this trouble to get here, and I won’t be able to do it.”
“You’ll be fine. Anything you can do will make me happy because it’s you.”
“What if…”
He cradles my face in his hands, making me feel treasured and safe. “What if what?”
“I don’t know if I can handle the pain.”
“I’ll make sure it’s not too bad. I promise.”
He kisses me softly and tenderly, and I cling to him and his assurances.
“Relax, sweetheart. I’ll make it so good for you.”
“I want it to be good for you, too.”
“Having you here in this room with me is the best thing to ever happen to me as a Dom. I promise it’ll be incredible for me.”
Then I feel his lips on my back, tracing the length of my spine and making me shiver with awareness as I feel the heat of his erection against my bottom. My skin feels like it’s been plugged into an electrical socket, with each caress seeming to register with every nerve ending I own.
“Do you feel the difference?” he asks softly.
I immediately understand what he’s asking. We’re still us, the same two people we were outside this room, but everything is more intense, more charged in here. “Yes, I feel it.”
“I don’t know if I can bring myself to punish you, Addison.”
His hesitation is endlessly endearing. “Didn’t I earn it by what I did to you at Black Vice?”
“You sure as hell did.”
“Then you know what you have to do.” I’m not sure where this bravado is coming from. I’ve never been spanked in my life. I have no idea whether I’ll love it or hate it. All I know is that he has to do it, or this’ll be just another exercise in frustration and futility. “Hayden?”
Chapter 17
Now that I have her exactly where I’ve always wanted her, I’m paralyzed with unfamiliar indecision. I’ve never once wimped out of a scene as a Dom, and I’m painfully aware that I can’t do that now. This is no time to be a pussy who lets his heart rule his cock—or so I tell myself.
In truth, it’s impossible to separate what I feel for this woman from what I want to do to her sexually. If there’s any hope of a future for us, I have to do this. The sight of her perfect ass, waiting to be reddened by my paddle, sets me on fire with the kind of desire I’ve only ever experienced with her.
I need to hear her say she feels the same way. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want it, Hayden. I want you. I want all of you.”
Though her voice is strong and confident, I can see her legs are trembling violently. Despite her words of assurance, she’s scared senseless. I want to make this amazing for her, and that determination fuels me.
I have no idea if we’ve been at it for hours or days, but he doesn’t let up. He owns me body and soul in that room, taking me places I never knew I could go. I’m outside myself, watching us, wondering what he has planned next as he takes me on the wildest ride of my life. My body is a big trembling nerve ending as one orgasm after another rips through me. He tells me I’m not allowed to come without his permission, but damned if I know how to stop it.
And I don’t want to stop it. I want everything he has to offer and then some
I’m not sure exactly what happens then. One minute we’re making crazy love while I’m suspended in his web or ropes, the next he’s carrying me to bed, the ropes are gone and my body feels deliciously, gloriously used.
“Mmm, Hayden…”
“I’m here, honey. I’ve got you.”
I glance at the bedside clock and see that it’s after three a.m. when he tucks me into bed. Were we really in there for three hours? He holds a bottle of water to my lips and encourages me to drink. My throat is raw, as if I’ve been screaming. “Did I scream?”
“Yeah, baby.” His brows are knitted as if he’s concerned or anxious.
I trace my finger over the groove between his brows. “What’s wrong?”
“You sort of punched out on me there for a while. Kinda scared me.”
“Is that unusual?”
“No. They
call it subspace, but you were really out of it.” His fingertip caresses my cheek. “How do you feel?”
“I feel good. How do you feel?”
“I feel amazing.”
“Will you come to bed with me?” I lift the covers to invite him in.
“I need a minute, and then I will.” He kisses my lips. “Finish the water.”
I watch him walk across the room and disappear into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Holy motherfucking hell… That was… I don’t have the words to describe my amazement and disbelief over the way Addie completely surrendered to me. I have to be honest—I didn’t think she would. I figured it would be an endless struggle of me trying to control her and her trying to top me from the bottom.
But that’s not what happened. She gave herself over to me, accepting my kink and my ropes and me. God, she was so accepting and peaceful, and when I felt her slip into deep subspace, I discovered that not only is she capable of being submissive, she’s my perfect match.
I’m elated and exhausted and overwhelmed by the most satisfying sexual experience of my life. By the time I finally took my pleasure and let go of the control, I was like a tightly wound wire attached to a pile of dynamite.
I wash my face and hands and take a leak, thinking about how far we’ve come since the night of the Oscars, when I jacked off in the men’s room rather than face up to what I feel for her. Now I don’t have to hide it anymore, and the relief is pervasive.
I need to get back to her. Aftercare is a critical part of my responsibilities as a Dom. I spent forty minutes calming and soothing her in the playroom before I untied her bindings and carried her to bed. It’s funny how I need her almost more than she needed me after our scene. I need to touch her and hold her and make doubly sure that she’s all right.
Leaving the bathroom, I take a look outside on my way to bed and notice the stars sparkling brightly in the night sky. Will everything seem bigger and brighter now that I finally have what I’ve wanted for so damned long? Wouldn’t that be something?
I get into bed and slide over to where she’s curled up in a ball, kissing her cheek and the top of her head. My hand settles just below her breast, and the feel of her silky skin is all it takes to make me hard again.
“No,” she says gruffly. “Just no.”
I laugh and push my dick against her ass. “Remember the rule—if you don’t want me, don’t get naked with me.”
“You didn’t give me a choice about putting on clothes.”
“Oh well, I guess you’re stuck with me and my hard-on, then.”
She moans. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Do I sound like I’m kidding?” I had absolutely no intention of making love to her again when I got into bed, but this is too much fun not to play it out. “You won’t have to do a thing.” Before she can object, I’ve lifted her onto my lap with her back reclined against my chest.
“You’re insane.”
“Maybe so, but you’ve made me that way.” Taking myself in hand, I press into her, and she moans. “Does it hurt?”
“Yes, it hurts!”
I freeze and begin to withdraw.
“If you stop, I’ll kill you.”
Well, alrighty then. I press on until she takes all of me, which is a struggle as always, but I love that struggle. I love every single thing about being with her this way. Her internal muscles go crazy, and it’s like being massaged from the inside. I cup her breasts and run my thumbs over her nipples, drawing yet another sharp gasp from her.
“Do they hurt, too?”
“Mmm, a little.”
I slide my hand down the front of her to tease her clit. “How about here?”
“Everywhere.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“I don’t think you’re one bit sorry.”
Laughing at her testy tone, I fall deeper into the kind of love I’ve never experienced firsthand before. I now understand why people do all sorts of foolish things to get and keep this powerful feeling of unity and oneness and undeniable rightness.
She sits up a little straighter and leans forward, taking me deeper inside her.
I grasp her hips and hold on tight while she rides me, her plump ass cheeks tight against my groin giving me all sorts of ideas. After running my fingers through the dampness between her legs, I press them against her ass, and she bucks wildly on top of me, damn near finishing me off long before I’m ready to let go.
“My baby likes when I play with her ass.”
“So what if I do?”
Smiling, I press my finger into her while using my other hand to caress her clit. The combination has her coming in under a minute. I could keep this up for hours still, but I know she’s achy and tired, so I join her, letting go of everything to focus on the almost unbearable pleasure.
God almighty, I’ve never felt anything like it, and after tonight, I’m officially ruined for all other women.
I wake to the sound of Hayden’s deep voice. He’s on the phone outside the bedroom, barking out orders to some poor bastard at the office. “I want to see what you’ve got by five o’clock today. No more delays.” After a pause, he adds, “I’m working from home today, so let me know when it’s ready for viewing.”
A glance at the clock has me sitting up straight in bed. It’s noon already? What the hell? When was the last time I slept until noon? College? I went to work for Flynn shortly after I graduated, and he’s kept me hopping ever since. I start to get out of bed but am forced to stop when every muscle in my body screams in protest. Erotic images from the night with Hayden resurface to remind me of how I got this way.
I thought I was in good shape until I went a few rounds with him.
Wearing only boxer briefs, he comes into the room carrying his phone and wearing a frown. “Did I wake you? Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I can’t believe I slept until noon.”
“We were up late.”
I try to find a more comfortable position and wince from the burn between my legs.
“You’re hurting.”
“A little.”
“A lot. Don’t lie to me, Addison.”
“I don’t want you to think…”
His fingers find my chin, compelling me to look up at him. “What don’t you want me to think?”
“That I can’t take what you’re dishing out.”
The way he looks at me… I can truly die happy if he’d just look at me that way every day for the rest of my life. “As I recall, you took what I had to offer extremely well. So well, in fact, I can’t wait to do it all again.”
“Really?”
“Addison,” he says with the tender smile that makes me melt. “Yes. A million times yes. In fact, I owe you a huge apology.”
I’m genuinely baffled by what he thinks he needs to apologize for. “How come?”
He cups my face in that proprietary way that I’ve come to crave and runs his thumbs over my cheeks. “I never should’ve doubted that you’re exactly what I want and need. I should’ve trusted my heart, because it kept leading me to you, even as I told myself I needed to stay away from you.”
This deeply wounded man who is incapable of saying the three little words that would seal our deal manages to convey everything I need to know with one perfect sentence. I blink furiously, determined not to break down in front of him. When his thumbs sweep away tears from under my eyes, I discover that I’ve failed to hide my emotional reaction.
I reach for him to draw him back into bed with me. “This, right here, is all I’ve ever wanted from you. Everything else is a bonus. I just want you, Hayden. I don’t care about all the reasons why I shouldn’t.”
“You’re way more than I deserve. You know that, don’t you?”
“No.” With every muscle I own screaming in protest, I turn over so I can see his face. “I’m exactly what you deserve.”
“No one has ever cared about me the way you do.”
“And no
one else ever will.”
He stares into my eyes. “I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and it’ll be the day before the Oscars and none of this will have happened.”
“It happened. It’s real. I’m real. We’re real.” I caress his chest and belly, noting that his cock is hard—again. Before I can tend to that, I have questions, lots of them. “Will you tell me how you discovered the lifestyle and the Kinbaku and everything?”
He gazes over my shoulder at the view of the ocean through the uncovered window, seeming to collect his thoughts. “It started when I was twenty-one and spent the summer on location with my father in Amsterdam. I became friends with the lead actor on the film, someone whose name you’d recognize, and he introduced me to the scene. I was instantly fascinated and captivated. Here, finally, was something I could control. I was obsessed after that.”
“So you’ve had a lot of practice?”
“I’ve never claimed to be a saint, Addie. You knew that about me before any of this happened.”
“I know.” My mind is racing with more questions I’m not sure I have a right to ask.
“Say it. I can feel you spinning.”
“You can’t feel me spinning.”
“I know you, and I know you have questions. There’s nothing you can’t ask me.”
“Will it be enough for you? Just me?”
His big hand cups my cheek, compelling me to look at him. “If I have you, I have everything I want and need. You never need to worry about me wanting someone else. I’ve had plenty of others, and nothing compares to you.”
“Okay, that’s a good answer.”
Smiling, he kisses me. “What else do you want to know?”
“The Kinbaku. How did you learn about that?”
“Early in my career, I was the assistant director on a film shot in Japan. While I was there, I sought out the scene and met a Kinbaku master who taught me almost everything I know about erotic tying. I’ve studied intensively with some of the top practitioners in the world and spent years perfecting my craft.” Before I can ask, he continues. “It’s the ultimate exchange of power when a sub surrenders to be bound by her Dom.”