by Martha Woods
“Hello?” He knocked on the door of the cabin next to his, “Frank? Helga? Are you in there?”
“Give me a minute!” Came a voice from inside, a tired Frank answering the door shortly after with his eyes half lidded from sleep. “Orson? What are you doing here?”
“Just came by to see how you two are doing, it’s been a pretty rough couple of months after all,” He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, “I woke you up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but…” Frank sighed, smiling softly and opening his door further, “Come on in, I’ll put some coffee on.”
Sitting down on the couch, Orson looked around at the furnishings of the room, rather bare considering how they lived, but there was enough there to show how Frank and Helga lived their lives. Photographs of them at different gatherings and locations, from flowing rivers to snowcapped mountains, they’d always been the ones who were more comfortable with going out into the outside world, even if only for a little while to experience what it had to offer. It was something that Orson had never really been able to do, though now that he thought about it it wasn’t very uncommon for just about everyone at some point to go out into the outside world just to state their curiosity. Most of the time they came back, every so often they chose to stay, but in the end it was their decision alone.
His father had been one of the ones that always came back, even if most thought it would be best if he disappeared. Maybe that was where Orson got it from, even as everyone who was younger than him showed themselves to be more open to the influence of what could comfortably be considered the ‘modern world’. But when he looked around he wasn’t blind to the fact that they had all the trappings of a modern day gathering, electricity, heat for when things got truly cold, even phones for when all normal methods of communication failed them, or distance made them impossible. The only thing separating his home from that of the outside world’s was the absence of the major corporate poisoning that he’d heard about so often from his father, trees being leveled to leave nothing in their place, rivers poisoned and fish killed from the overflow of a chemical plant, he’d done his part to try and ensure that none of that reached this patch of land, but he had begun to doubt if he was going about it the right way.
Considering that they were on the edge of starving and his reluctance was one of the only things keeping them back from full meals, he wasn’t sure his doubts were unfounded.
“Here you go,” Frank said, handing him a cup of coffee, steaming in the cold morning air, “You look like crap Orson, you know that right?”
“Just slept poorly, you know how it is,” He laughed, waving away the obvious concern, “How are you anyway? How’s Helga?”
“She’s good, we’re good, just… been a little stressful trying to feed everyone, you know? I’m a good hunter, but I’m not that good.”
“You are one of the best though, you bring something back every time. Just yesterday I watched you dragging a deer up through the middle of camp, and some were coming back with only a handful of berries. Not to downplay what they’re doing, everyone is working hard, but it just shows the kind of instincts that you’ve got.”
“Yeah well, instinct isn’t enough to feed everyone is it?” Frank groaned, taking a sip from his own cup of coffee before leaning back in his chair, “Helga and I were hoping to go out to the cabin to get some time away from everything, but I can’t do that while people are going hungry, not while the crops are in danger like this.”
“The land’s changed hasn’t it?” Orson said, frowning into his cup and warming his hands, “It feels so sudden too.”
“The land is dying Orson, that’s what’s happening. Sooner or later it’s going to die completely, and it’s precisely because we are still here. The land isn’t untouched, not so long as we’re here, we weren’t the first to live here and we won’t be the last, but the first people at least seemed to be getting it right.”
“But why? We’ve been trying everything we can to keep it safe, why is it still failing?”
“Because the world is changing, and there’s nothing that we can do about it.” Frank looked over the photos along the wall, sadness clear in his eyes. “The snow on that mountain? We’ve been there four times over the years, at around the same time, and every year there’s less of it, same with the forests, and the lakes, everything is changing in a way that we can’t change, not at the rate that we’re going.”
“It’s killing our crops, I’m definitely not smart enough to fix that problem.”
“No, you’re not. I’m not either. Megan maybe was, but she’s been gone a long time, and even then I don’t think there’s anything that she could do to fix this. Some things are… just like that, you know? Just can’t be fixed, can’t be mended.”
Orson chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee and looking Frank in the eye. “You sound like a cynic.”
“I sound like someone who accepts the reality of the situation,” Frank corrected, “But we both know what you are. Ever the hopeful optimist, right?”
“Maybe, I’m not so sure lately.” For a moment he considered telling him about the deal he’d tried to make with Jennifer, but he figured that Jeremy was right about keeping his mouth shut for now. The more people that knew, the more chances there were that this could end up getting out of hand, and what this situation absolutely did not need was another match being dropped on the powder keg. Frank was one of the best men that he knew, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d fought in that war just like everybody else, that sort of thing left a mark.
“Just keep doing what you do Orson,” Frank said, shrugging his shoulders, “It’s all we really can do, but sooner or later we might end up having to leave anyway. Our time might have already passed, there’s nothing we can do but accept that and leave the land to heal itself.”
“You think it would?”
“I have no idea. I can hope, but I still have no idea. But I think in lieu of anything else to do with my thoughts and time, I think I’ll choose to take the hopeful route.” Finishing his cup, Frank stood and took Orson’s empty cup as well. “Think about which one you want to take, and how you think we should go about this. We all trust you.”
Orson stood from his chair, knowing an invitation to leave when he received one. “Thanks for the talk, and the coffee. Make sure to apologize to Helga for me if I woke her up.”
“Don’t worry, if you had she would have been out of here putting her foot right up your ass,” Frank laughed, showing him to the door, “Maybe come back at a reasonable hour and we’ll show you to dinner, how does that sound?”
“That sounds good Frank, that sounds really good.” Orson was still smiling as the door closed, but walking away through the frost he could do nothing except stuff his hands in his pockets and sigh, “If there’s actually any food left…”
Just like the previous day, he found himself walking to the cliffside, no other destination in mind and nothing for him to do besides. Settling by the edge of the cliff, he wasn’t surprised to hear someone walking through the trees to find him, but his guard didn’t really lower until Jennifer took her seat next to him and lay on her back. Still without a jacket, even in the freezing cold air, she really must have had some hot blood.
“I talked to them about the deal,” She said, voice sounding far off for a reason that Orson couldn’t quite figure out, “They said it was a no go. Looks like we’re both just going to go hungry huh?”
“Looks like it,” He said, not bothering to hide his disappointment at the outcome. It was truly their last chance, but if what Frank had said was true then it was a long time coming anyway. The thought made him incredibly sad, but there was nothing to do except buck up and accept it, it was coming whether he liked it or not. “They didn’t even consider it for a second, did they?”
She shook her head, guessing that he’d gotten a similar answer from his own people. “They just don’t trust you, and you don’t trust them. We can’t change that all on our own, huh?”
“No, we can’t. That’s something that they are going to have to do themselves, we can’t make them accept anything or change how they think, frustrating as it is.” He looked over, tilting his head at the conflicted expression on her face. “What’s wrong? You look like something’s bothering you.”
Jennifer didn’t respond for a moment, stuck in her own thoughts of what the right thing was to do in her situation, whether she should give him some kind of heads up, or even just a veiled warning to be careful, but… what if he had been lying? What if the Elder was right and it really was all just one big trap to lure them into a false sense of security, only to wipe them out when they least expected it? They’d only met each other yesterday, they didn’t owe each other their full motives or even an ounce of their trust, so why would she assume that she was getting any of it?
But when she looked at him, really looks at him, she just couldn’t see it in him no matter how hard she tried. Like there was some barrier behind his eyes that prevented any lies or deceit from taking root and left only the truth and what was truly good. It was a tempting thought, perhaps one that was foolish no doubt, but it was one that she just couldn’t help but feel deep down in her gut.
If only things could be that simple though.
“I’m fine, really, just disappointed that things didn’t end up working out, you know? I was really hoping that we would be able to do something here, but I guess all of them really are just too stubborn to actually care that much, aren’t they?”
“They’re just afraid, not just of each other but themselves, they know what they’re capable of after that war, there’s not much else that you can think about afterwards if I’m being honest. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about as well, it didn’t really spare any of us no matter how old we were.”
“You say that like I was just some tiny little kid, I’m twenty-three you know. I’m not that much younger than you are, so we saw the same things for the same reason.”
“You’re twenty-three?” He asked, smile growing on his face, “Then why do you keep walking into hostile territory like you’re some reckless teenager?”
“Maaaaybe I’m just bored and looking to make a new friend, is that so wrong?” It wasn’t what she’d meant to reply with, but she could tell it was the truth when she did. It surprised her how natural it seemed however. “Everyone else back at the clan is someone that I grew up with, it’s so boring there because we all know each other so well. Someone new is… well, new!”
He could relate, he loved the people that he lived with, Frank and Jeremy were his closest friends when he got down to it, but it was always easy to tell what the other one was thinking. It did take away some of the fun of it when you knew exactly how they were going to reply.
“So you figured that you would make friends with the head of the enemy clan, just for kicks huh? Ambitious, but I’m not going to fault you for ambition.”
“It sounds like you do have something in mind to fault me for though.”
“Oh of course I do, for one your choice was horrible. Who would want to be friends with someone like me? I can’t even run a clan right, can you imagine what I’m like to play cards or go fishing with?” He grinned, taking out a small pack of bread that he’d stuffed into his pockets before leaving the cabin. “I do have a good selection of food though, so that’s always a plus to spending time with me.”
“Oh pocket bread, my favorite!” She laughed, “I’m not going to complain about a free meal.”
He broke off a piece, handing it to her before taking one of his own, the two of them staring out over the rapidly frosting landscape with the sun hidden behind dark grey clouds. Things had already changed so much from yesterday, there was no telling what the weather was going to be a month, a week, a day from then, it was enough to put you on permanent edge. For all they knew their current crops wouldn’t survive this season, then they would be well and truly doomed, the both of them. What a terribly pathetic end that would be.
“Why do you think our clans started fighting in the first place?” Jennifer asked, scrubbing the crumbs off her lap and looking over at him, “We were fighting for literal decades, but I don’t even remember why we were doing it, just that by the time I was born it had already been going on for a long time.”
“It didn’t really kick off properly until we were young, but you’re right in saying that they’ve been fighting for a long time. Far as I know it was a territory issue, your side thought we shouldn’t be here, we thought the same, someone attacked someone else thinking that it would be a quick solution, thus starts decades of fighting and hatred. Kind of simplified it, but when you think about it most of these things are pretty simple in how they start, someone always thinks that they know better than everyone around them and makes the decision that they think no one else will, and suddenly everyone is dying for it.”
“Sounds kind of familiar…” She said, eyes widening when she realized she’d said it out loud. She hadn’t been expecting him to laugh in response, but when he replied she knew she’d averted disaster.
“I wouldn’t say that we knew better than everyone else, but maybe we did. We were just trying to find a solution to the problem, at least it stopped before anyone could throw a punch right?” While he’d been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt before when she’d said that she was just disappointed, now he knew that something was wrong, that downcast look on her face only getting worse by the second. “Ok seriously, what’s going on with you? Don’t try and deflect, I know that something’s up.”
Jennifer closed her eyes and groaned, feeling the debate inside herself rapidly starting to turn out in the favor she did not want. But she’d always trusted her gut, and it had gotten her this far in life, what would be gained by not trusting it now? “Ok, I need to tell you something really important, but… I need you to not panic, or get mad, or do anything stupid ok?”
He narrowed his eyes, as one normally would when given those conditions, but he nodded. Whatever it was that she had to say was something that he needed to hear.
“The elders in my clan… they don’t trust you because they think that you’re going to attack us when we trust you, they think that it’s all a ruse that you cooked up on the spot because you’re looking for a reason to kill all of us while our backs are turned so you can take the land for yourself.” She expected him to lash out, or show some hint of anger, but he was just sitting there patiently waiting for her to finish. It was strange seeing someone actually follow the directions that she’d stated. “They’re saying… they’re saying that we should attack you before you do it to us, that’s what you would do after all, they said.”
He wanted to yell, scream, throw things like he was an overdramatic toddler, but he didn’t feel that he had the right to. After all, these were all the same things that Jeremy had advised him on not twenty-four hours ago, how could he justify having anger towards them when his side had been planning to do exactly what they feared?
“We were thinking about it too, that you would just betray all of us to steal what was ours,” He said it slowly, carefully, like he was afraid of scaring her away, “We’ve even got people standing by, just in case you decided to attack, it was the best I could do to talk them down from actually getting a war party together.”
They didn’t know what to say, what could you say to confessions like that? Knowing that the people that they both lived with and trusted were capable of the exact same paranoia and violence wasn’t something that could be equated to a bonding experience, but they felt as though they had gained some deeper understanding of each other, not least that now they knew that neither of them was all that good at keeping a secret, even if the security and future of their very clans was hanging in the balance.
“Why did I tell you that?” She asked, more to herself than to him, “We’re going to potentially be fighting each other before we know it, why did I even tell you that?”
“Because you know it’s wro
ng, and I know it’s wrong.” He leaned back on his hands, staring up at the thick clouds drifting above them. “I don’t want to have to fight again, I’m sick of it all. I just want to be able to have somewhere to be comfortable and happy, I don’t want to lose that again.”
“Neither do I,” She said, “But what can we do? If they’re this dedicated to starting a fight then there’s not much that we can actually do to convince them otherwise.”
“It might feel that way, but I doubt that we’re the only ones. The only ones that I can really think of who would be clamoring for a fight are all old men with not much left to lose anyway, most everyone else left is still barely into their twenties, but they all remember the fighting. Good luck convincing them to take up arms again.”
“They might be able to, don’t underestimate the power of bitter old men. That’s how we got the first war in the first place.” Pushing herself up onto one elbow, she leaned on her side and frowned at him. “You really think that we would be able to stop them? How would we even do that?”
“It’s all about telling them what we could lose, letting them see what we’ve got now and how easily it could all go away, how it could affect them. None of them really care about what other people could lose, but if you can show them what they would lose then suddenly they’ll start caring.” He paused. “At least that’s what I think, I’ve never really done this sort of thing before.”
“Better than anything I can come up with,” She laughed, letting herself fall onto her back, “We met yesterday, and already we’re confiding secrets in each other. What a joke.”
“You must have really been lonely,” He said, “But don’t worry, I was too I guess. Definitely explains why I didn’t just attack you on sight like I probably should have.”
“You think you could beat me? Please,” She blew a raspberry, “All you do is eat and hibernate for the winter, the last time I met a bear that could actually fight was years ago.”