“You assumed wrong.” My teeth are clenched, my hands are balled into tight fists, and my muscles are starting to shake. I want to hit him, I can feel the adrenaline as it's coursing through my veins, threatening to take over.
Shaking his head, he holds up his hands. “I thought this was the plan. You said—”
“I know what I said, I know what the plan was, but things can change—shit, things did change.”
“I don't understand, the whole point—”
Slicing my hand through the air, I take a long step forward, bringing my face to his. “The point is this was wrong—I was wrong, Yale. Do you understand that? I should have never done this to her, I shouldn't have treated her like this. She didn't deserve to be made a fool of, she didn't deserve to be used. Starla is a good person, Yale, and she's everything I could ever want in a woman.”
Wiping my hands down the sides of my face, I tip my head back and glare at the ceiling. “I just wish I had the chance to tell her I was sorry, to tell her that everything she thought she saw in me, in us—it was all real. Everything she felt and shared with me, I felt it too. It started out as one thing, but it ended with my heart in her hands.”
Dropping my head down, I close my eyes. “I love her, Yale, I love that girl in a way I've never loved anyone.”
“Do you mean that?” Her voice sings in my ears, causing me to whip my head over my shoulder. “Did you really mean all that stuff you just said?” Folding her arms across her chest, Starla is taking careful steps towards us.
There are tears in her eyes, I can see them from where I'm standing as they reflect like a mirror. The water is balancing on the thin edge of her lid, threatening to fall if she blinks. I don't want to be the cause of anymore tears for her. I want to be the reason for her smiles, for her laughs, for her happiness.
Tilting her head, she hugs herself tighter as she stops a few feet away. “Well, did you really mean all that? Or was it all another show you were putting on? Because you seem to be really good at lying, you know that?”
Everything I had prepared in my head to say to her suddenly vanishes as my brain kicks up dust and debris.
There are no words because I don't need them. There are no words because she takes my breath away. There are no words because nothing I could say would ever measure up to what I feel in my heart.
Starla deserves so much more than I have to give, but I’m willing to lose it all for her if I have to.
Closing the distance between us, I scoop her face in my hands and wrap my fingers around her head. Kissing her hard, I let all my emotions and feelings flow from my lips to hers.
I want her to feel what I can't say. I want her to know that I'm not playing pretend. I want her to see that this is real. Everything about us is real.
“I love you,” I say, speaking against her lips, refusing to break away. “I love you, Starla Bishop and I should have told you that sooner. And maybe if I had been honest with myself, I would have.”
Tears fall freely down her cheeks, and I can taste the salty water as it mixes with our kiss. In the past, a kiss like this would have ended with me pushing her away and telling her it was over.
I don't like crying; I don't like emotional messes. This is different. I want to take her tears away, I want to capture them before they can hurt her, I'm ready to bear whatever pain she feels so she doesn't have to hurt anymore.
Because that's what love is.
Love is being there no matter what, it's about accepting someone for who they are, it's about the smile you feel inside when you're with that person, and the laughs you can relive with just a thought.
Standing up on her toes, she kisses me back, curling her arms around my neck. “I love you too,” she says through a whisper.
I feel her words. I feel them as they enter my mouth and move down my throat. I feel them as they swim through my veins and invade my chest. My heart explodes, sending an explosion of electricity through my body.
Starla is my life. She's what I'm living for.
Yale is standing awkwardly behind us, rocking back and forth on his heels as he looks around the room. Starla drops down to flat feet, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Sniffling, she sticks her hands into her back pockets and smirks.
“I'm sorry, Yale,” she says, giving him an apologetic smile. “I shouldn't have hit you.”
“Wait—” Holding up my hand, I glance between them. “You hit him?”
Yale nods, pointing at a red blotch on his cheek. “Yeah, but I deserved it.”
I can't stop the grin as it spreads from ear to ear. “She got you good.”
Nodding, he rubs his cheek. “She did.” Wrinkles crawl across his forehead as he arches his brows. “Bolt, I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way. I should have asked, I shouldn't have stuck my nose in where it didn't belong. I never meant to hurt either of you.”
Resting my hand on his shoulder, I give him a little shake. “Stop, you didn't do anything wrong. This was my idea, not yours, I'm the one to blame. I don't want you feeling bad about shit, none of it falls on you.”
Yale's body relaxes as he lets out a breath. “Thanks, Bolt, I appreciate that.” Glancing between Starla and me, he asks, “Well, now what? Are you guys staying, going out for drinks, what?”
Taking Starla's hand, I lift it to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “We're here until tomorrow, the reunion is probably still going, so we can go up there, or. . .” Pausing, I lower my lids and grin. “There are three pools, four hot tubs, and a five mile section of beach.” Winking, I bite the inside of my cheek. “I did miss you in the pool earlier in that sexy little bikini.”
Her smile is effusive as her cheeks blush and her lips purse. “I don't care what we do, as long as we do it together.” Swinging our hands back and forth, she rocks her hips.
“Pool it is.”
“Is this a couple's thing or. . .” Yale's words trail off as he moves eyes around my face.
Looking over at Starla, she shrugs her shoulder and smiles. “Come on, Dick,” I say, ticking my head for him to follow us.
I didn't mind who’s around me, as long as Starla is one of those people.
She found her way into my world, into my home, and into my heart.
I know deep down that as long we have love, no matter where we were, we'll be happy.
For the first time ever, my life feels complete. Nothing is missing, I don't feel empty and cold.
I have everything I never wanted, and it's amazing.
Epilogue
Starla
Six months later
“Where are we going?” I ask, pulling on my jacket and wrapping a scarf around my neck.
It's getting colder outside, the trees are starting to shed their leaves and you can almost taste winter in the air. Everything is starting to change around me, making me wonder where I'm going next.
The internship is basically over, which means my time at the brewery will be ending soon. I have a week left, that's it. I've been trying not to think about it. It’s scary to not know what’s coming next.
For the past few months, everything has been perfect. Bolt's parents are opening up to me, actually making an effort to get to know me and my family. Turns out my grandfather and Bolt's grandfather actually went to school together.
His father dug out an old yearbook when we made the connection, and finding their pictures only pages apart was wild. After a little research and coaxing, my grandfather admitted to having a drink or two with Brandon Sheckler at some underground bar back in the day.
“For a walk.” Bolt's smile licks my insides and I immediately feel my stomach tumble. The way he looks at me will never get old. I feel his eyes, I feel his emotions as they pour over my body. It's an amazing feeling. “You ready?” he asks, flipping up the collar on his coat and dropping his phone into his pocket.
“Yeah, I'm ready.” Bolt holds out his arm, guiding me out the front door of his condo. I stop, waiting for him to lock up his place. “Which way are
we going, left or right?” I ask, looking up the sidewalk in both directions.
“Neither, we're going this way.” Twisting, he starts through the field beside the condo.
“This way?” Lifting my feet high over the grass, I start to follow him through the thick weeds. “Why are we walking this way?”
“There's a quiet little place just over that hill, it's not too far, and not many people know about it.” Stopping, he bends down and pats his shoulder. “Here, get on.”
“What?” Giggling, I cup my hips. “You're going to give me a piggyback ride?”
“Yeah, climb up.” Pressing his fingertips into the dirt, he bends his shoulders forward more. “Come on now, I can't stay in this position all day.”
“Alright.” Curling my arms around his neck, I wrap my legs around his hips as he stands up quickly and holds my ankles. “Wow, look at all the colors in the leaves, it's beautiful.”
Bouncing, he shifts my body higher and looks back at me over his shoulder. “You're beautiful.”
Kissing his cheek, I tuck my face into the crook of his neck. “I love you.”
“I know,” he says as he starts walking. “And I love you.”
When he says it, I know he means it. His words aren't forced, they're real, they're sincere, they're heart felt and warm.
Bolt carries me through the small field, up the hill and down the other side. I offer to walk on my own, but he refuses to put me down.
“Up there—” nudging his head towards the peak of the hill, he asks, “Can you see it yet?”
“The pond?”
“Yeah, pretty isn't it?”
“It is.” Bolt stops and drops me to my feet. Tangling our fingers together, he walks towards the water. “There's a bench up here we can sit on. I spotted it one day from my kitchen window, but I haven't been out here in a long time.”
Reaching the bench, we sit down, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. I'm looking out at the water, watching the surface ripple as a light breeze blows. Snuggling closer to him, a duck starts swimming toward us.
“Oh, look at that, here she comes.”
The duck climbs out of the water, waddling our way, and it's not until she's a few feet away that I spot the five little ducklings following closely behind her.
“Awe, how cute, look at the babies.” Pointing, I lean forward and watch them scavenge the grass. They're all making muffled quacks as they pluck strands of grass free from the dirt.
The wind blows again, causing a shiver to zip down my spine. “It's getting cold, look at the trees, the leaves are all changing. I can feel winter in my bones.”
“Fall's here,” he says, scooting up on the bench. “But, something else is going to change too...”
“Oh yeah, and what's that?” Rubbing his back, my eyes are on the ducks.
I'm enjoying this moment and the silence that’s encasing us in our own little bubble. It feels like we're the only ones in the world and I don't mind this solitude one bit. Bolt is moving around, but I'm not paying attention to what he's doing.
“Our lives, our lives are about to change.”
My fingers slip off his back as he gets up off the bench, so I flick my eyes in his direction. Bolt is standing briefly, then drops to his knee in front of me. Pulling a small white box from his jacket pocket, he holds it up.
“There are very few things in this world that I know, Starla. But the things I do know, I don't doubt for a second. I know that I love you with all my heart. I want to make it real, I want a real marriage, with real children, and a real future together.” Pulling the top back, the ring glistens, sparkling brightly even under the cloudy sky. “Will you marry me?”
Tears spring up instantly as I cup my mouth with my hands. “Are you serious?”
Nodding, he pulls the ring out of the box and takes my hand. “Very serious.” Setting the band at the edge of my finger, he smiles up at me. “I can't slip it on until you say it.”
“Can we still make whiskey together?”
“I wouldn't have it any other way,” he answers with a chuckle. “So...” Tilting his head, he lets his eyes still on mine, “is that a yes?”
“Yes, yes.” Shaking my head up and down, my hand is trembling as he pushes the ring onto my finger. “Wow, it's beautiful, Bolt.” Lifting my hand to my face, I take a closer look at the ring. “Is this. . .”
“The original ring you picked out before?” he asks, finishing my sentence. “It is. I wanted to get you the one you wanted, the one you really loved.”
Diving at him, he falls back and I land on top of him. “I love you, I love you so much.”
Bolt kisses me softly, brushing the hair away from my face. “I love you too. I never thought I'd meet someone that made me feel this way. With you, I feel complete.” Kissing me again, his hands slide down my back and onto my ass.
We're both laying on the ground, consumed by this feeling flowing through our veins. Nothing else matters, nothing around matters. We're lost in each other, happily ignoring the outside world in this blissful solitude.
“Ow,” Bolt snaps, jerking his lips away.
“What's wrong?” I ask.
Quack, quack. The mother duck is right behind Bolt's head, glaring at him like he invaded her nest.
“She bit me on my head.” Rubbing the back of his head, he twists his face to look at her. The duck lunges in his direction, causing Bolt to push up onto his elbows and throw a hand in her direction. “Get,” he barks at her, flipping his fingers again. “Get out of here.” The duck quacks again, charging at him like she could scare him away.
“We should have brought bread.” Giggling, I sit back on my knees. “I think she likes you.”
“Yeah, well, I don't like her.” We both start laughing, unable to control ourselves. Bolt rises to his feet and helps me up. “Come on, let's finish this at home.”
We're barely in the door before his hands are tearing at my jacket and his lips are on mine. I can feel the passion in his kiss, the way his tongue slips easily between my lips, dancing across ridges, tasting and licking.
The sharp edges of his teeth pluck at my throat, scraping down my neck and sending goosebumps cascading over my flesh. I feel the tremble as it hits my thighs, making my pussy clench and my heart speed up.
Bolt growls, the sound is nothing but warm air and need as he rips my jacket down my arms and throws it to the floor.
“I love you,” is all he's able to force out as his hands glide up my back, tugging me into his chest. “I love you and the babies you're going to have.”
“Is that right?” I ask, dropping my head back so he has room to kiss my throat. His lips place weighted kisses across my collarbone as he digs his teeth into my shoulder.
“That's right.” Palming my mound, Bolt runs his tongue up my throat and over the shell of my ear. “I'm going to fuck you till you're carrying my baby...” His voice trails off as he pushes his thumb against my swelling button. “Till my seed is planted and our baby is growing in your belly.”
Letting out a loud giggle, I snap my eyes to his. “Till your seed is planted?” I can't stop myself as the laughing gets louder and more unhinged. “Your seed, really?”
Bolt starts to chuckle as he runs his fingers through my hair. “All right, so maybe my choice of words wasn't sexy, but yeah, I want you to have my baby, I want a family with you, I want us to bring a piece of ourselves into the world.”
“I want that too,” I say, tangling my fingers in his hair and holding his head. “I want to have your babies.” Kissing his lips, I pull away quickly. “I want to get a big belly and waddle around not seeing my feet for months.”
“The thought of that is so fucking hot.” Walking me backwards, my legs hit the couch, causing me to teeter on my heels. Bolt smirks as he pushes his chest against mine, lowering me to the cushion. “Just picturing you with a bump, my bump, it makes me so fucking hard.”
His hips split my legs apart, forcing them to open wide, giving him all t
he room he needs. “Mm,” I moan, moving my hands down his back.
My fingertips dip between the strong muscles in his shoulders, following the hard curves and deep crevices. Scratching my nails back up, I arch off the couch, brushing my breasts against his chest.
“Damn, Star, you feel that? You feel what you do to me?” Rubbing his length against my pussy, I can feel the wetness start to seep against my panties. “Feel how hard I am right now?” he asks, gyrating his hips.
Feverishly, I fumble with the belt around his waist as I kiss him hard. I don't need to tell him to fuck me, I don't need to use my voice at all. Bolt is tugging my shirt over my head, and I'm pulling his belt free so I can get to the button.
His tongue finds my nipple, flicking over the hard bead and swirling around the outside. Taking my tit in his mouth, he sucks hard, hollowing his cheeks as he looks up at me.
I can see what he's feeling in his eyes, the passion, the hunger, the love. A small flame flickers bright as his lips slip off my breast with a gentle pop.
“Take me, Bolt.” Arching my back hard, I push my chest into his face as my head falls back and my eyes snap shut. “Take me and never let me go.”
Bolt's body stills above me, his hands move across my face, swooping gently around my cheeks and pulling it down. He wants me to look him in the eyes, refusing to go any further until my attention is focused on him.
Dancing his eyes over mine, it feels like he's peering deep into my soul. My chest heats as he reaches my heart, taking it into his hands and claiming it for himself.
“I'll never let you go, Starla, not ever. I love you with everything I have. You own me, you own all of me.” His words are firm, filled with all the truth he had to bear.
I believe him, I believe that he means every word he says. There’s no fear in his voice, no doubt, or uncertainty. Bolt loves me.
The Convenient Wife Page 15