by Francis Ray
Julia listened, her heart growing heavier with every word Chase spoke. He was warning her against falling in love, but it was already too late. “Was your father ever injured again in the line of duty?”
“No.”
“Your mother chose her way to deal with her fear, but another woman might choose to stay and cherish each minute, each second,” Julia said with feeling. “If given the opportunity, another woman might choose to fight to hold onto what she loved most.”
He pulled his hand free. “Maybe. Let’s repack the basket and you can drag me through another museum.”
Sighing, Julia began putting things back in the basket. Chase wasn’t going to give them an opportunity to find out if it was left up to him.
“Chase,” she said softly, waiting until his dark gaze met hers. “What would you say if we skipped the museum and went back to my place and finished the rest of the strawberries?”
“I’d say pack faster.”
His hot, hungry mouth was on hers the instant the door closed behind them. Holding nothing back, she met him with passion and greed, her slim body pressed eagerly against his. He felt the difference immediately. High, firm, unrestrained breasts pushed against his chest. He groaned and thanked the increasing temperature that had made him leave his jacket in the Jeep.
Nibbling her lower lip, he slid his hand from her waist to close possessively over the soft mound of her breast, felt the nipple harden instantly. The pleasure pulsating through him doubled as she pressed against him. Her eyelids drifted shut for all of five seconds before they flew upward. Eyes wide, she blushed and stumbled back.
“Julia, what is it?”
She shook her head and backed up a step.
Worried, Chase matched her step for step. “Honey, what’s the matter?”
Somehow the endearment only made her predicament worse. Her mouth opened, then closed. Several seconds passed before she stammered, “I don’t have on … I forgot … I mean I didn’t have time.” She swallowed. “Y-you were at the door and Suzanne and Amanda were going to answer it. I didn’t have time.”
A slow smile of understanding spread across Chase’s handsome face. He reached out, his hands gently settling on her shoulders to keep her from backing up farther. “You weren’t thinking of leaving your guest, were you?”
“I—”
His lips brushed across hers. She swayed closer, her mouth lifting to his. “Because I’d be very disappointed if you did.”
“But—”
He kissed her again, scattering her thoughts and sending heat and desire racing through her bloodstream. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes. It’s me I don’t trust.”
For some odd reason her words disturbed him. “Never say anything like that to any man.”
“I wasn’t saying them to any man.”
His hands on her shoulders tightened a fraction. He stared into her wide eyes and felt the floor shift beneath his feet. “I told you when I leave, this is over.”
“I know.”
“Then stop looking at me as if you expect this to continue.”
Biting her lower lip, she tucked her head. So much for good intentions and maturity, for believing she could enjoy what they had, then let him go. It wasn’t what she wanted or what she could accept. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said, angry at the impossible situation. “I can’t give you what you want.”
“How do you know? You haven’t tried,” she told him tightly.
“And I won’t,” he shot back.
She recoiled from the harshness of his voice. “I see.”
“No, you don’t. I don’t have time for anything but the job,” he riled. “When I leave D.C. and go back to Austin I’ll have to catch up on six weeks of work that was already behind six months. I’m on call twenty-four/seven. I can’t remember the last time I had a full day off.”
“I’m sure other single men in the Rangers find time to date.”
A muscle leaped in Chase’s jaw. Why was she being so stubborn? “The women they’re dating aren’t four hours away by plane, nor is there the likelihood that they run their own successful businesses. Both of us have too many obligations for this to continue.”
“I don’t mind the trip, and as you’ve seen, I make time for the things that are important to me,” Julia told him, hoping it didn’t sound as if she were begging and afraid it did.
Chase’s mouth flattened into a narrow line. “What about when you open your second shop?”
Doubt that Julia was unable to hide flickered in her eyes. “I didn’t say it would be easy.”
Wearily he shook his head. One of the things he admired about Julia was her dogged determination. He just wished she wasn’t now using it against him. “Both of us have too many responsibilities. It couldn’t work.”
She met his hard gaze with more courage than she had imagined. “How can you be so positive? You won’t even try.”
“No, I won’t.” His hands dropped to his sides. “When I leave in two weeks, I won’t be back.”
Her small hands clenched. She hadn’t imagined the pain, the immense sense of loss, could be so intense. “I thought I could be very modern and adult about this, but I can’t. Making love should mean something between a man and a woman, not just passing time.”
“I never lied to you, Julia.”
“No, you didn’t. I lied to myself.” She lifted her hand, extending it as though she expected nothing more from him than a perfunctory businesslike handshake. “Good-bye, Chase.”
He stared at the delicate hand with narrowed eyes; then his gaze glanced up to her. “So this is it?”
Her hand and voice wavered. “Yes.”
With a curt nod, he turned to leave.
Pain and disbelief rushed through Julia as Chase opened the door. How could he just walk away without trying? She knew he cared.
“I thought Texas Rangers were fearless,” she tossed out, then rushed on when he whirled back toward her, his eyes sharp and cutting. “You’re not giving either of us enough credit. We both go after and fight for what we want. Make no mistake, you’re what I want, but not for just a brief interlude. If you ever find you feel the same way, you know where to find me.”
For a long moment, he simply stared. Hope leaped in Julia’s heart; then he opened the door, walked through it, and closed it softly behind him.
“Oh, Chase!” Julia cried, finally letting the tears fall.
SEVEN
Chase was in a foul mood. The Saturday afternoon rush-hour traffic wasn’t helping. There had been a full moon the night before, and the lingering effects seemed to have carried over into the full light of day. People were zipping in and out of lanes, tailgating, honking horns, and in general being nastier than usual.
His hands clenched and unclenched on the steering wheel. He wasn’t at his best himself. He didn’t like the restless, edgy feeling. It was as if he had overdosed on caffeine or was coming down from the aftermath of an adrenaline rush. But he was honest enough to admit it wasn’t caffeine or adrenaline that had him uncomfortable in his own skin but a woman who wanted something from him he couldn’t give.
He wasn’t afraid of anything. He was just doing what was best for both of them. You knew fire would burn without sticking your hand in it!
Thirteen days! It had been thirteen miserable days and unbelievably long nights since Julia had politely kicked him out of her life and issued her impossible challenge. The thought still had the power to make his temper rise. How could she stick out her hand to him as if he were a stranger when they set each other on fire every time they kissed?!
He wanted that fire again. But in twenty-two hours he was taking a flight home. Why couldn’t she accept and understand—
Suddenly a BMW coupe darted in front of him. Chase slammed on his brakes to keep from hitting the sports car and heard the squeal of brakes behind him. He jerked his gaze sharply to the rearview mirror, fully expecting to feel the M
ercedes that had been on his bumper for the past ten minutes ram into him.
Instead the Mercedes took the sidewalk, giving the cab behind him enough time to safely stop. Good reflexes, Chase thought and waved out the open window.
Shifting the Cherokee into gear, Chase had started to pull off when he saw the car that had cut in front of him do the same thing to another driver in a Maxima. This time the BMW didn’t make it.
The car clipped the Maxima’s left fender, causing both cars to spin out of control and careen into cars in front and on the side of them. The impact pushed automobiles through the approaching stop sign into the oncoming right-of-way traffic. The sickening sound of metal crashing into metal filled the air.
Chase had his car phone in his hand, dialing 911, when everything within him went icy cold and still. A white Caravan minivan was heading straight for the pileup.
The phone slipped from his hand. Please, no!
In an instant he was out of the car and running. He had barely taken a step past his Cherokee when the minivan slammed headfirst into the other cars.
“Julia!”
Chase hated hospitals. He’d lost his mother in a hospital.
Hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, he stared out the window of the surgery waiting room and tried desperately to remember that his father’s life had been saved in a hospital. He couldn’t. His mind was too busy remembering the agonized screams of a woman in pain and his frantic attempts to pry open a door with his bare hands.
“Chase.”
He spun around, his hands coming out of his pockets. His heart leaped before he could tell it to do otherwise. Julia stood ten feet away from him. Safe. Alive. Healthy. She wasn’t in surgery fighting for her life. She could have been.
He felt stinging in his eyes and fought to keep the moisture at bay. There was nothing he could do about the trembling in his legs, the knot in his throat.
“Chase. Are you all right?”
Chase briefly shut his eyes and thanked God that he had heard his name on her lips one last time, because no matter what, nothing had changed between them.
“Thank you—”
He shook his head. He didn’t want to hear the words of gratitude again because then he’d have to relive the fear. What he desperately wanted was to take Julia in his arms and keep her safe. To keep from doing just that he picked his hat up from the chair he had never bothered to sit in.
“Your friend is still in surgery. Her father finally talked her mother into going down to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee. I told them I’d stay in case any family members or friends came.”
Julia’s hungry gaze searched Chase’s drawn face, the jagged tear in his shirt, the dirty jeans. He seemed so cold and distant. She clenched her hands to keep from touching him to reassure herself that he was all right and fought to remain calm.
She’d been in her office when she heard the radio broadcaster announce that a Texas Ranger, disregarding his own safety, had single-handedly rescued a young couple from a burning van after a traffic pileup. He was also credited with saving others with his swift action to get bystanders to help accident victims to safety before the police and fire departments arrived.
Until Georgette’s mother called, Julia hadn’t known the couple was her assistant manager and her husband, Michael, who had borrowed Julia’s van to pick up a sofa they had purchased. Julia had barely been able to understand what the woman said because she was crying so hard. Georgette was bleeding internally and had been rushed into surgery.
“How is Michael?”
“Broken leg. He’ll survive.”
“Because of you,” she whispered softly.
Chase rolled his shoulders; his large hand crushed the brim of his Stetson. “Any law enforcement officer would have done as much.”
Julia didn’t think so. It took a special man to risk his life again and again for strangers. “Perhaps.”
Chase’s gaze bounced off the wall, the door, the floor. Anyplace except where he most wanted it to be. He slipped the hat on his head, tugging down hard on the misshapen brim. “Since you’re here, I’ll be going.”
“Chase.”
He stopped but didn’t face her. “Yes?”
The door behind them opened. Millie Watkins, Georgette’s mother, saw Julia and began to weep.
Instantly Julia went to the older woman and pulled her into her arms. Reaching behind the older woman’s back, Julia briefly squeezed Mr. Watkins’s hand. His usually smiling face was ravaged with fear. Georgette was their only child. “Georgette is a fighter. She’ll make it.”
Julia felt Mrs. Watkins’s nod of agreement against her shoulder and pulled the frightened woman closer, comforting both of them. Georgette was only thirty-six. She had two adorable children and a husband who worshiped her. Her whole life was ahead of her.
Looking up, Julia met Chase’s impenetrable stare. A shudder went through her. His mother had had two children and a husband. Life offered no guarantees.
Trying to hide her own fear, Julia helped a distraught Mrs. Watkins to a seat, then sat beside her. Mr. Watkins remained standing, his gray head bowed. Instead of leaving as he had said, Chase walked over to the father and began quietly talking to him.
Julia was glad Chase had decided to stay. His presence comforted her. Obviously he didn’t feel the same. He wouldn’t even look at her.
Chase stoically accepted the torture of being near Julia. He thought he could leave. He couldn’t. Not while she was bravely comforting Georgette’s parents and obviously in need of reassurance herself. But he already knew Julia put those she loved before herself. A rare woman. If her friend didn’t make it, he wanted to be there for her. He could give her that at least.
Two hours after Julia arrived, a woman in a scrub suit entered the waiting room. Mr. and Mrs. Watkins rushed to her.
“I’m Dr. Durant. We had to remove the spleen and tie off several bleeds, but none of the vital organs were involved. Your daughter is a very lucky woman. She’ll be fine.”
Julia closed her eyes in thanks. When she opened them Chase was gone.
Chase couldn’t deal with the situation. More accurately, he didn’t want to deal with it. Each second that ticked by made him more acutely aware of his own limits, of the fragility of life, and of the uncorrectable mistakes fools make.
Head bowed, he slowly went up the front steps of the hotel, feeling wearier than he ever had in his life.
“Mr. Braxton, there’s someone here to see you.”
Head still bowed, Chase kept walking. He didn’t want to see anyone or talk anymore. What he wanted was blissful oblivion. His jog had done nothing to smooth the jagged edges since he had seen Julia’s minivan pile into the carnage of mangled vehicles.
“Chase.”
He pivoted. Julia. He read the weariness in her beautiful face, saw the puffiness in the eyes that searched his. She had been crying. He felt a pain in the region of his heart. “Yes?”
She flinched at the brusqueness of his voice. “I just wanted to make sure that you were all right.”
“You saw that at the hospital.”
“I …” She seemed to falter, tucking her lower lip between her teeth.
His hands slid into his pockets to keep from reaching out for her. How much misery could one man take and remain sane? “Go home. It’s getting late.”
She didn’t move.
The automatic doors directly behind him whooshed open. Two men came barreling through. One of them held a camera. The other carried a microphone.
Chase let out an expletive and turned his head.
The bright light of the camera flared, centering on the other man who now held the microphone under the nose of the desk clerk. “Good evening. I’m Harold Kent, reporter with Channel Eight at WFRA. I understand Texas Ranger Chase Braxton is registered in this hotel. I’d like to interview him.”
Not in this lifetime, Chase thought. He wasn’t reliving that hell again just to be a sound bite on the nightly news. “C
ome on.” Spinning on his heels, he headed for the elevator. Silently she followed. Neither spoke until they were in Chase’s suite.
“Once the reporter finds he can’t get any information on me from Simone, he’ll try to find other guests or acquaintances to pump. I was afraid he might try to talk with us next.”
“Chase, are you sure you’re all right?”
His hands came up to keep her from touching him. He saw the pain in her eyes and turned away from it. “I’m sweaty. I’m going to take a shower. I’m sure I don’t need to show you the way to the door.”
Her chin lifted. “No, you don’t.”
Nodding briskly, he went through the sitting room and into the bathroom. Stripping off his clothes, he stepped into the shower stall and turned the blast on full force. Maybe, just maybe, it could wash her from his mind.
Julia stood in the living room listening to the shower, her stomach churning. She’d been that way since she heard the news of the accident.
Her hand clutching her stomach, Julia sank in the nearest chair. Several cars around the van had been badly charred, but thanks to Chase no one had lost their lives.
After he’d left them in the waiting room, she had called him several times and had always gotten the hotel’s message center. Worried, she’d taken a cab to the hotel after leaving the hospital. She called him again from the lobby. Getting the message center again, she had decided to wait. She needed to touch him.
Seeing him at the hospital, disheveled and distant, had broken her heart. But he wanted nothing from her.
Her gaze strayed to the closed bathroom door. He had shut her out. The sensible thing, the proper thing, to do would be to leave as he requested. But love wasn’t sensible, she was finding out.
Standing, she slipped off the long cranberry-colored jacket, heedlessly letting it fall to the floor, and walked into the bathroom. Steam fogged the frosted glass. Through it she could still distinguish the shape of Chase’s powerfully built body.
She might have lost him today. The terrible thought still made her weak. Trembling fingers tugged the silk blouse from her skirt.