by JANICE FROST
He droned on.
Laura looked over at Tess, wishing she could see her face more clearly. She walked over to her and looked into her face. What she saw made the room spin.
Laura would have fallen over if Tess hadn’t jumped up and steadied her. She and Gabe helped Laura to a chair and Gabe made her lean forward with her head between her knees until she began to recover.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked.
Kneeling on the floor at his side, Tess was looking up at her, frowning. “I’m fine. Sorry, I just felt a bit faint, that’s all. Do you look like your mother?”
Tess looked at Gabe. Didn’t she speak to anyone but him?
Again, it was Gabe who answered. “Yes. Steph was . . . Tess is her mother’s exact double.”
“I recognise you,” Laura said. “Your face is familiar. I’ve seen it before.”
“How? When?” Tess gasped.
Her eyes reminded Laura of the characters in the manga books that Ewan had read. They were huge and wondering and shone with unshed tears. Laura spoke in a whisper. “In his drawings. He drew her face — your face — all the time.”
“Are you sure?” asked Gabe.
“Yes.”
“Then this proves that Ewan did know Steph.” He drove a fist into his palm. “I knew he was lying and now we can prove it.”
Laura wondered what he meant by that ‘We.’
Ewan had turned the spare room in their flat into his studio. Before his disappearance he had all but moved in there. Laura had seldom ventured inside, but one day she had gone in to look for something and had come across a folder full of drawings. They all showed the same face: Steph’s, or Tess’s face. Of course she had wondered about the woman, and why Ewan drew her over and over.
“Perhaps it proves that Ewan knew your mother, Tess, but it doesn’t mean that he harmed her, or that he was responsible for her disappearance,” Laura said. Turning to Gabe, she added, “Rhona admitted to me that Ewan knew Stephanie. That he was . . . obsessed by her.”
Gabe gave her a look of astonishment. “She told you that? She and David denied it ten years ago.”
“She might still deny it. It would be my word against hers if we went to the police. And, she’s terrified that David might find out she told me. He’s always hovering about, listening to our conversations, especially when we’ve had a drink. Like he’s afraid that Rhona will let something slip.”
“If we can show the police that Ewan drew Steph, it would prove that he knew her, whatever the Pines might say. These drawings, do you have them somewhere safe?” Gabe asked.
Laura didn’t answer. “No,” she said at last. “Ewan destroyed all his artwork before he left for Stromford. He cut up or shredded everything.”
A small part of her felt triumphant at the disappointment on their faces. How dare they accuse Ewan of killing Stephanie Woodson? But a bigger part of her felt pity. And something more. Laura was no longer in denial. She had to know. And like her, Tess Woodson was a victim of a conspiracy of silence. She reached for the girl’s hand and said, “I’m sorry.”
Gabe paced the room. “Think, Laura. Is it possible that something could have survived? A drawing you’ve missed, or a photograph even?”
“I haven’t looked through all of Ewan’s things yet. So it’s possible there’s a picture of Tess — I mean Steph — somewhere in my flat.” She half expected Gabe to bundle them into his car and drive up to Edinburgh with them.
“What about David and Rhona’s house? Perhaps they have a picture somewhere.”
He was going to ask her to search their house. Laura was about to object when she caught sight of Tess’s pinched, hopeful face. “I’ll look,” she said. She was aware of a shifting of allegiance from the people she’d known ten years ago and the man she’d lived with, to the ones in this room. Gabe and Tess were pinning all their hopes on her. It should have felt like a betrayal, but instead it felt liberating.
“I’ll help you,” Gabe said.
“How can you possibly do that?”
“Offer to babysit for David and Rhona one night so that they can go out together. Call me when they’ve gone and I’ll come round. We can both look.”
Laura considered this. She would feel better about going through David and Rhona’s things if she didn’t have to do it alone.
“Okay.”
Gabe smiled, and Laura noticed for the first time how attractive he was. He was very different to Ewan. Ewan had been dark, and Gabe was fair. His unassuming manner suggested composure rather than weakness. Laura felt self-conscious. It was days since she’d taken any trouble with her appearance. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were crumpled from being stuffed hastily into her suitcase.
“I . . . I still think it’s a waste of time, and it doesn’t prove Ewan . . .” Laura paused, aware that Tess was hanging on her every word. “I mean, all it proves is that Ewan knew Steph, not that . . .”
Tess took her hand. Laura could feel the bones beneath the cool flesh. Tess had little more substance than the pictures of her vanished mother. If Gabe’s suspicions were right, Ewan had wronged them both.
Tess left soon afterwards. Gabe began to apologise as soon as she had gone.
“Don’t keep saying you’re sorry,” Laura told him. “You have every right to want to know what happened to Steph. If my husband was involved, then I’ll have to accept it — even the unthinkable.” She paused. “How did you get over Steph’s disappearance? I mean, has it plagued you all these years to the extent of ruining your life?”
He frowned and looked past her out through the French windows. A wind had begun to blow, animating the stark branches of the trees. Gabe swept back a tuft of hair that had fallen over his brow.
“For a long time I thought about her every day. I couldn’t believe that the police gave up looking for her so quickly. It was like they didn’t care. I was given a load of statistics about the number of people that go missing every year. I still don’t understand why they would think she’d run away from her responsibilities. She loved Tess and took good care of her.” He sighed. “But, yes, I moved on. I’d only known Steph for a couple of weeks before she disappeared. I wasn’t in love with her. I thought I was at the time, but you know, young love . . . I was angry for a long time because I’d been suspected of harming her, but the worst was the not knowing. I couldn’t refuse Tess when she reached out to me. I’m doing this for her. I hope you understand that.”
“Yes, I believe you,” Laura said. “I’ll suggest the babysitting thing to Rhona and let you know what happens.” A sudden movement in the garden caught her eye. A squirrel darted up a tree trunk to help itself to nuts from a swaying bird feeder. Laura was aware that Gabe too, was watching its antics and a few moments passed in distracted silence. “I should go,” she said at last. She could tell that Gabe North wanted her to stay, and she wondered what she would do if he were to ask her. She stood up. He brought her coat and held it out for her in an outdated, chivalrous gesture.
* * *
Laura had left Rhona at home with Shaun, who was unwell with one of those mysterious viruses that often afflict babies and young children. She had taken the bus to Stromford and now she walked down the Long Hill, intending to buy some books for the girls before making for the bus station. On the way, she made a diversion to the art college. It had been incorporated into the university but was still housed in a late Victorian red-brick building on a street off the top end of the High Street. She had never visited Ewan during his three years in Stromford, and she was curious to see where he had spent that part of his life.
Laura sank down on a wall opposite the grimy façade. Why had Ewan never told her about Steph? There was no longer any doubt that he had loved her. Rhona had told her as much and there were the drawings, hundreds of them, all of Steph. When Ewan withdrew, had he been shutting out the world, or just his wife? Or retreating from himself? If Gabe were right and Ewan had been responsible for Steph’s disappearance, or even for her d
eath — there, she’d said it — had he been consumed by guilt? Had he decided to visit Rhona and David because Steph’s disappearance was their business too? Laura confronted what had been at the back of her mind ever since her first meeting with Gabe North. Rhona and David were complicit in whatever it was that Ewan had done. Was it something so terrible, so threatening to David and Rhona’s present way of life that they had been compelled to deal with Ewan’s guilt by killing him?
For a while Laura sat on the wall, beset by memories and imaginings. She watched the students scurrying past. They looked so young, so incapable of anything but going about the business of enjoying their lives. Rhona had used the word ‘atonement,’ referring to her perfect little family. Was it possible to right a wrong by subsequently living a good life? Ewan’s punishment had been to marry his childhood sweetheart and condemn them both to a loveless marriage. She wondered if he or David, or Rhona, had given any thought to her when they decided to ‘atone’ for whatever they had done to Steph.
Chapter 15
Ava was feeling uncharacteristically nervous. Maggie Neal had texted her to ask if they could meet for a drink. She had meant it when she told Neal that she would be happy to meet his sister. It was just that she hadn’t expected her to get in touch so quickly.
So here she was, standing in the freezing cold outside their arranged meeting-place, a bar of Maggie’s choosing in the Swanpool. This was an area of the city that was abuzz with bars and cafes and restaurants, all overlooking a broad stretch of water where the river Strom swelled into a mini-lake, somewhat pretentiously known as the Marina. Across the water the university buildings dominated the view and because it was only a short walk away, Swanpool was a popular haunt of students.
She spotted Maggie walking down the steps from the bridge over the Strom and gave her a wave. Maggie waved back. She was wearing a red leather jacket and a short tartan skirt with leggings and black patent ankle boots. She’d straightened her unruly red hair and it made her look more sophisticated. Around her neck, and covering her scar, she’d wound a black cashmere scarf. Ava noticed how fragile she looked. She couldn’t help remembering the terrible sight of Maggie lying in her brother’s arms, bleeding to death, or so it had seemed at the time. She swallowed, hoping she wasn’t going to embarrass them both by crying.
“Maggie! Good to see you. You look great.”
“Thanks, Ava.”
There was a slightly awkward pause. Ava had met Maggie only once before and they didn’t really know each other well. Sensing that she would have to take the lead, Ava nodded towards the closest bar. Loud music pounded from within and a throng of young people blocked the entrance. From all directions, people seemed to be converging on the waterfront. The revellers were making an early start.
Maggie hung back. “Actually, do you mind if we go somewhere quieter? I’d forgotten how noisy it is here and my throat’s still not up to shouting.”
Ava nodded readily. She had thought this was a strange choice of venue for a quiet chat. Perhaps Maggie had wanted to be part of a vibrant, life-affirming environment, then realised she couldn’t cope. They walked away from the river, heading in the direction of the Long Hill. Ava sneaked a sidelong glance at Maggie, wondering if the crowds and the liveliness of the riverside reminded her of the Christmas market where her assault had taken place.
“I know a cosy little bistro on Pebble Lane just past the Roman Arch. Would that do?” she asked.
Maggie smiled. “Romano’s? It’s one of Jimmy’s favourite places to eat.”
Useful to know, Ava thought. She must avoid it when she was out with Joel. The waitress showed them to a table upstairs where it was quiet, and went to fetch a bottle of wine.
“So, did Jimmy put you up to this?”
Ava considered fibbing, then thought better of it. “Well, sort of. He’s worried about you. But I’ve been looking for an excuse to get to know you better.”
“He wants to know if I’m really okay or just putting on a brave face for his benefit.”
“I suppose so. Can you blame him?”
Maggie gave a little laugh. Then she sighed. “Jimmy’s over-protective of me. You knew we were quite young when our mother died?”
Ava shook her head. She knew virtually nothing about Jim Neal’s personal life and circumstances. She leaned forward, eager to know more.
“No, I don’t suppose he’s told you much about his past. He keeps things to himself. Mum died of cancer when Jimmy was fifteen and I was nine. Our dad was always a heavy drinker but after Mum died he became an alcoholic. It wasn’t grief so much as the fact that she wasn’t there to hold him back anymore.” Maggie paused as the waitress brought their wine. “When things got really bad, Jimmy went to stay with his friend Jock Dodds and his family. I moved in with Mum’s sister, Auntie Jean. She didn’t have room for both of us and Jimmy and Jock were like brothers. We lived one street away from each other and saw each other at school and whenever else we wanted to, so it wasn’t that bad.”
Ava gave a sympathetic nod.
“I got on well with Auntie Jean. Everything was going well at school, then when I was sixteen — just — I met this man. He was quite a bit older than me.”
Ava raised her eyebrows.
“Twenty-two years actually. He was thirty-eight.” Ava opened her mouth but Maggie said, “I know, I know. Jimmy said it all at the time, but I was incredibly stubborn. Anyway, I didn’t think he had any right to comment since he became a father at nineteen.”
Ava wondered if she should tell Maggie not to say any more about her brother. It felt almost wrong to be finding out so much.
“Anyway, to cut a long story short, I moved in with Stu. Jimmy was furious. He practically accused Stu of being a paedophile. We didn’t talk for months. Stu and I were together for just over a year.”
“How did it end?” Ava asked.
“In tears, not surprisingly. I found out he was seeing a fifteen-year-old girl behind my back. So Jimmy had been right, of course. And I’d wasted a year of my life. I didn’t even get a job or go to college or anything. Stu was well off and liked me being,” she coughed, “available.”
Ava frowned. She despised sexual predators, particularly those who targeted young girls.
“I went off to London for a bit but that didn’t work out either, so I came to Stromford to stay with Jimmy. Sometimes he acts like he’s my father as well as Archie’s. I guess he wants to make up for what he sees as not having looked out for me better when I was younger. So you can appreciate that this . . .” Maggie loosened the scarf at her throat to reveal the livid scar across her neck, “was very hard for him to take.”
Ava nodded slowly. “Yes, I sort of get that.” She’d had a hunch that her DI was attracted to vulnerable women. Was his sister at the root of it? She wondered if Neal had ever physically confronted this man, Stu.
As if she’d read her mind, Maggie said, “Don’t breathe a word of this, but when Jimmy found out, he gave Stu a thrashing. Jock had to pull him off.”
Ava was digesting this when Maggie said, “No doubt he’s never mentioned Myrna either.”
Myrna? Was she Archie’s mother? Ava held her breath.
“She and Jimmy were childhood sweethearts. They started going out when they were sixteen. They were nineteen when Myrna got pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion. She had a place to study music at university and she wanted to train to be an opera singer — she had a great voice. She’s becoming quite well-known now — Myrna MacDonald?”
Ava shook her head. She would be going straight to Google later. “Sorry, I don’t really know much about opera. Ollie likes Gilbert and Sullivan. He’s always singing funny songs from HMS Pinafore and stuff. What’s that one about the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy who’s never been to sea?” She began to hum.
Maggie laughed. “Myrna was great fun. Really full of life, but she was also kind of flighty and . . . and mercurial. It would have killed her to be stuck at home with a baby. Jimmy persua
ded her to carry on with the pregnancy and promised he’d take complete responsibility for their child.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. It’s not that he was anti-abortion or anything. He just said he was intending to become a father at some point in his life, so why not then? He thought he knew exactly what he’d be getting himself into.” Maggie shook her head. “Of course, no one knows what being a parent involves until they have a kid. To his credit, Jimmy embraced it from the start.”
“Was that why their relationship ended?”
“Yes, but I’m pretty sure they would have split up anyway.”
“Oh?”
“I mean, we’re all kind of still growing at that age, aren’t we? Trying on different personas to see which one fits. Not Jimmy, though. He wasn’t always as staid and serious as he is now, but he always seemed older than his years. I think he just found his true self sooner than most of us and stuck with it. Myrna was a chameleon, always changing. She would have driven Jimmy crazy eventually, even though I think that’s what attracted him in the first place. He used to say that there was much more to her beneath the surface, and maybe there was, but however hard you scratched, you’d still be hard pushed to define the real Myrna.”
“Oh,” Ava said again. She was having difficulty imagining the Jim Neal she knew being attracted to the sort of woman Maggie was describing.
The waitress brought their food. As she picked up her knife and fork, Ava realised how effectively Maggie had deflected attention away from herself, and steered the conversation to her brother. Suddenly Ava felt she had been duped. She stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork and said, “So, how are you feeling, really?”