by Grivante
Mr. Hembrook turned and knocked his dead wife away. He screamed and grasped at his gushing shoulder, torn muscle fibers curled away between his fingers.
Blam! Brutus splattered Marybelle’s head. When Mr. Hembrook swung his own to look up at Jonah, he found the barrel pointed right between his eyes.
“No, I’m rich, Dr. MacD--“
Blam! Brutus cut him off.
Jonah looked up to see JJ and Xanadu crouched on the roof, just outside the window. Tears were streaming down her face. He stepped over the body of her uncle and to the window. “Move. You can hate me if we live.”
Part VIII - Out of the Frying Pan
From their perch above the lawn, Jonah and JJ saw the zombies surrounding Judas in the truck. It was parked underneath a street light and it looked like he was in the center of a giant spotlight and they were coming for him from every direction. His shotgun kept them at bay, but their numbers were growing.
“Start yelling,” Jonah said, “Get their attention.”
“What? Why?”
Jonah glared, “Do you want to live?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “They’re surrounding my brother, they can’t get to us up here, not quickly anyway. Get their attention and they’ll group up down below.” He held up the bottle of liquor. “We get enough of them down there and I’ll light them up. Zombies hate fire.”
“Ok,” she nodded, “Got it.” She walked to the edge and started yelling. “Hey zombies, up here! Come and get it, you undead fucks!”
A few here and there turned toward her, but most continued their shamble toward Judas, whose shotgun blasted as quickly as he could reload it.
“Sound scared,” Jonah shouted.
“What?” JJ Asked
“Sound like one of them’s about to get you. It awakens some sort of competitive hunger in them. They’ll all want a piece.”
Her brows furrowed, “I’m not—“
A loud crash sounded from behind them, they turned and saw the door sliding open, the dresser having fallen over and smashed onto the floor. The dead poured into the bedroom.
JJ shrieked.
On the lawn below, the zombies turned their heads toward the house.
A block away sparks erupted from a power transformer and one by one, the houses started to go dark, followed quickly by the street lights that illuminated the ever growing zombie horde marching through the fog. There was a loud click as the light above Judas went out and then a hush fell over the development.
JJ panted next to Jonah, clutching his arm with one hand and holding Xanadu with the other. The hungry moans of the dead grew louder from all sides.
“Jonah!” Judas yelled.
“Yeah?”
“Hurry up!”
Sounds of clawing came from the window behind them. JJ resumed shrieking. Jonah raised Brutus and fired into the heads of the nearest zombies making their way through the window.
He holstered his gun and slipped his hand into his pocket, searching.
“Fuck,” he grabbed JJ by the arm. “Ok, ok, enough.”
She didn’t stop.
He put his hands on her cheeks and pulled her eyes to his. “Hush. You’re a good girl. You did it, you can stop now.” He smiled at her, holding her eyes steady with his own. “Good girl,” he whispered.
She took in a deep breath, gulped and swallowed. Her cheeks burned red, sweat dripping down her brow. Her whole body trembled. She reached up and stroked the fur on Xanadu’s head. They stared at each other. Her eyes were moist and alive and his were soft and warm. His hands caressed her cheeks and they both let out a small gasp.
BOOM!
The shotgun resumed blasting, breaking the spell.
“Do you smoke?” Jonah asked.
“Huh?” JJ tilted her head.
Jonah lifted the bottle, the thick cotton granny panties dangling from the opening. “I can’t find mine.”
“Oh,” JJ giggled. “Yes, I do.” She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and produced a small silver lighter with the words ‘Bitch’s Bic’ engraved on the side of it.
Xanadu barked.
Behind them, zombies had made their way through the window and were crawling across the roof toward them. Jonah turned the bottle upside down again and let the alcohol soak into the panties, then flicked the lighter and caught them on fire. The blue orange flame licked at the fabric and he swung his arm, lobbing the bottle high into the air.
“I hope this works!”
Jonah pulled out Brutus and his little gun and started shooting the dead crawling across the roof. Behind him, a whoosh sounded, followed by the screeches of the burning zombies. He smiled, this was more like it. The roof and window momentarily clear, he turned to look back at the lawn.
Flaming zombies shuffled in all directions; there were at least fifty of them now, they had caught others on fire and the house.
“Whoops,” Jonah said as he saw the flames climbing up the bannister of the porch. The good news was, the flames had created a clearing on the ground below them, a clearing filled with flames, but no zombies. The bad news: with the porch on fire, they only had a few moments before their perch was also engulfed in flames. It was a matter of waiting for the flames or jumping straight into them.
“What do we do now?” JJ asked.
Jonah holstered his guns yet again and grabbed JJ’s hand with his three fingered left hand. Her fingers wrapped around his and for a moment, searched uncertainly, then their eyes met again and she gripped all that he was, firmly, with all that she was.
He nodded toward the flaming lawn. “Ready to jump from the frying pan?”
She smiled. “I think I’d go anywhere with you.”
Xanadu barked, Judas’s shotgun roared and they jumped.
Part IX - Escape From Lancaster Street
Thud!
They hit the earth and the burning, smoldering grass. Letting loose of each other’s hands they fell forward onto the ground. Jonah scrambled to his feet and reached down to help JJ up. She stood and clutched Xanadu close.
On the roof above, one of the zombies made its way to the edge and fell down right behind JJ, colliding into her. She fell forward toward a pool of burning alcohol and flung Xanadu into the air.
“XANADU!!” She cried out his name in panic as he hurtled above the zombies and then everything froze.
Jonah saw it all happen and could not believe his eyes or his ears. The dog hung in mid-air, the zombies stopped shuffling, the flames stopped licking at the oxygen, the world around them froze. A thousand pin pricks of colored light shown across the ground and an almost disco beat filled the air.
He saw it all and then he was moving. Slamming the barrel of Brutus into the temple of the zombie on top of JJ, he pulled the trigger as his body twisted forward and with his left hand, he plucked Xanadu from the air and spun around.
The music faded and the lights went out. JJ pushed the corpse off her and smacked at the flames clinging to her clothes.
Jonah started to say something, anything to her, but instead turned to Judas who he saw staring at them, dumbfounded. “Start Sasha!”
His brother’s eyebrows shot up. “I get to drive?”
Jonah ignored him. “C’mon” he said to JJ, “let’s go.”
She stood and they ran to the truck.
Jonah opened the passenger door and handed Xanadu to JJ as he fired two shots into approaching zombies. She climbed in and straddled the stick shift next to Judas.
“Well hi there, pretty lady,” Judas said.
“Not now,” Jonah said as he squished in against JJ and slammed the passenger door shut.
“This definitely isn’t a three butt truck,” JJ said and laughed.
“Sorry, it definitely is not,” Jonah agreed.
“That’s okay,” she said smiling, “I kinda like being pressed between the two of you.”
The brothers’ eyes opened wide and their mouths fell open, but before either of them could speak, the urgency of a zombie
at the window broke through their embarrassed shock.
Jonah reached between JJ’s legs and grabbed the shifter. She let out a little giggle.
“Push in the clutch, Judas and as soon as I put it in first, let it out and give her gas, then push the clutch in again. I’ll put it in second.”
“You got it, Bro!”
Judas pushed in the clutch, Jonah put it in first and the truck lurched forward, smacking into a few zombies and then dying.
“Are we gonna make it?” JJ asked.
“Again!” shouted Jonah.
Judas cranked Sasha’s massive 350 engine back to life and sweating like a teenager taking his driver’s test, he listened to his brother’s commands.
“Clutch!”
Judas pushed his left foot in.
Jonah shoved the shifter into first.
“Release!”
Judas pulled his left foot back.
“Gas!”
Judas put his right foot forward, a little too far.
The truck roared forward, thudding into the bodies of the dead.
“Clutch!”
Judas pushed it in and Jonah rammed the shifter into second, which now rested directly against JJ’s crotch.
“Release and gas!”
Judas did as he was told and the truck bounced down the zombie-filled road.
“And that,” Jonah said, “is how we do the hokey-pokey!”
“Is that a magic 8-ball?” JJ asked.
“It is,” Jonah said. “Sorry about the close quarters; Sasha’s not really big enough for company.”
“No worries,” JJ said, looking down at the ball as the shifter vibrated against her. Then she started giggling.
“What is it?” the brothers asked in unison.
“It says, ‘Without a doubt’ and it kinda tickles.”
“Oh, sorry,” Jonah reached over and grabbed the 8-ball. “Judas, ready?”
“Uh,” Judas swerved to avoid a zombie that had stepped from the fog into the truck’s path.
JJ put her hand on top of Jonah’s, “It’s okay. I kinda like it.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, then Judas spoke up. “Jonah, where we going?”
“We need to go back to Larry’s and get the extra ammo for DeeDee out of the box. We’re gonna need it.”
JJ laughed again. The brothers looked down, the 8-ball read, ‘It Is Certain’.
Part X - Shibari
Smack!
Sasha bounced as they ran over an unseen body in the fog and they all let out a startled cry.
“They’re everywhere, Jonah. I don’t know if we’ve got enough ammo for all of them.”
“Not even close.” Jonah nodded, “Turn right here.”
Judas turned on the blinker and JJ burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Judas asked as he turned the corner.
“We’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and you’re using your turn signal.”
Judas, blushing, looked away.
JJ’s heart sank. She sat Xanadu in her lap and put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry sugar, that was rude of me. I think I’m just scared silly.”
Judas sniffed and nodded. “I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh,” JJ was quiet for a moment. “You’re doing very good, especially driving a stick. Have you been practicing?”
“Some,” Judas smiled. “Jonah usually drives but he gives me lessons sometimes.”
“Here,” Jonah interrupted. “Put the clutch in, Judas.” He reached between JJ’s legs and put the truck in neutral. “Just pull up on the curb. When we stop, get out and get the axes. We need to conserve ammo and we don’t want to attract a crowd.”
The brothers climbed out and JJ followed, setting Xanadu on the seat and slipping her coat on. “Be a good boy and guard the truck.”
He barked and lifted his head and paws up in a little hop, then sneezed, sending snot everywhere.
“Good boy.” She patted him on the head and closed the door.
“What is the deal with your dog?” Jonah asked.
“He just gets snotty sometimes. It’s his breed. I’m sorry, I’ll clean it up.”
“No, not that,” Jonah shook his head laughing, “The whole thing with the lights and the music when you shouted his name back there.”
“Oh, um, that.” JJ shifted, “Well, he’s—“
Splunk! A splatter of bloody ooze rained down on them, causing them to spin around. Judas pulled a fireman’s axe from the head of a fresh zombie that had walked up behind them.
“Oh my,” JJ gasped.
Jonah looked at the zombie as it slumped to the ground, then to his brother. “Thank you, Judas.”
“No problem, brother. That fog is thick, they’re appearing out of nowhere.”
“You’re right, we better move fast. C’mon!”
The trio turned and jogged toward Larry’s front door. In the truck, Xanadu hopped up on the dash and trotted back and forth, staring into the fog.
At the door to Larry’s, they stopped for a moment.
“Load up the box Judas, I’ll grab the catch pole and we’ll go.” He opened up the door and JJ screamed, raising her gun.
Toothless Larry stood a couple of feet away, his eyes glowing red, his mouth open and slobber dripping down his chin, his hands still bound behind him.
“No,” Jonah shouted and pushed JJ’s arms to the side.
Blam! A shot tore out from JJ’s gun, causing them all to jump. Larry stumbled backward.
“Fuck,” Jonah said.
“What? Why’d you do that?” JJ looked at him with fire in her eyes. She tugged her arms away from his grip.
“That’s Larry,” Jonah said.
“So? He’s a zombie!”
“He’s our client.”
“What?”
“He’s the one who called us.”
“A zombie called the Zombie Exterminators?”
“No. He wasn’t a zombie then.”
“Got here a little late, did you?”
“Hey now, that’s not called for.”
JJ squished her face together. “Why is he still alive? Er, dead, wait, whatever.” She shook her head.
Jonah shrugged. “He’s our client. I didn’t feel right killing him. Besides, he doesn’t have any teeth, he can’t infect anyone.”
JJ turned her head to the side as Larry stumbled back into view. A small red spot showed on the sleeve of his cardigan where her shot had hit him. She caught sight of the rope binding him. “Is he tied up?” She bent lower and looked at the knots. “Zombie bondage? That’s hot!”
“Yeah, um,” Jonah shrugged.
JJ grinned as she inspected the way he had wrapped and tied off his restraint. “That’s nice rope work. Do that often?”
Jonah blushed as she looked up at him. “Well, I’ve studied some Japanese rope ties on YouTube.”
“You mean like Shibari?” Her face spread into a wide grin.
“Yes,” Jonah’s smile matched her own, “exactly.”
“I’d like to see what else—“
“Um, guys!” Judas shouted from the fog.
“Yeah,” Jonah and JJ answered together, breaking their gaze from one another.
“I think that shot alerted the natives.”
Looking out into the yard, they could see shapes stumbling toward them.
“Shit, let’s go.” Jonah pushed Larry backward into the house and grabbed the door knob. “Stay put, Larry.”
Their trip back to the truck was a shower of blood and ooze as they swung their axes and cleared the way. Jonah and Judas got the box loaded into the back, then they all piled into the truck, Jonah taking the driver’s seat this time.
Part XI - Winter Oaks Reclamation Department
“So the whole development is built on an Indian reservation?” JJ asked.
“It was a reservation,” Jonah said, “it’s been more of a burial ground for over sixty years since the last of the Pakatini died out.
With no one to claim it, the feds eventually took it back. ‘Eminent Domain’… and then some politician somewhere sold it to a relative for nothing and here you have Winter Oaks, in the middle of sunny Arizona.”
“And my uncle dug up and threw away some sort of Pakatini Amulet?”
“Yep. And in doing so, disturbed a curse that awoke the priests, who woke the tribe to reclaim it. The priests were the ones trapped under Larry’s house.”
“And now the tribe are zombies and...?”
“Fighting their hunger for flesh, for their spiritual duty of protecting their homeland.”
“And they’re going where?”
“Now that most all of the residents have been killed or infected, they are probably making their way to the landfill, where they will seek the amulet.”
“And what happens when they find it?”
“Probably nothing good.”
“So where is the landfill?”
“Up that winding road to the north of the development.”
“On top of the hill?”
“Yep.” Jonah ran his fingers through his hair.
“Don’t they usually put the expensive homes on the high ground?”
“Yeah, but that used to be Hooker Canyon. They turned it into a landfill fifty years ago. Eventually they filled it up and just kept going.”
“And what are we going to do when we get there?”
“Well, we’ll find the amulet and return it to its burial spot in your uncle’s backyard.”
“And what will that do?”
“We hope it’ll make all of the Pakatinis return to their graves.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
Jonah leaned forward and looked at Judas who was staring down at JJ’s cleavage. “We’re gonna need a lot more ammo.”
“Wait,” JJ interrupted after a quick glance at Judas. “Aren’t all the zombies going to be going to the same spot?”
“Yep,” Jonah answered, swerving to miss a lone walker on the road.
They made their way up the dump access road, from one switchback to another. Sasha’s engine groaned as they drove. They were approaching the top of the hill, where a large number of shambling shapes could be seen in the distance. Jonah slipped the clutch into neutral.