by H A Dawson
I agreed. Due to confidentiality issues, I was careful what I shared. It would be wrong for me to assume he knew everything about her condition, so I kept quiet and let him speak. It soon became clear that he was aware of the type of cancer she had and that it was without a primary source making treatment harder. He also knew that her prognosis at diagnosis was less than a year and that all treatment thus far had failed to make any significant impact on killing the cancer cells.
The thought of what she was going through caused my insides to grow heavy with sorrow. I couldn’t be easy for her knowing that her life was nearing its end and that there was nothing anyone could do to help her. If I was in her position, I would be devastated, for sure. No wonder she was doing all she could to repair her relationship with her son.
I turned to Glenn. ‘What were you going to tell me about her relationship with Austin?’
‘He doesn’t want anything to do with her, and I can’t say I blame him. Has she told you about his arrest for the possession and sale of drugs?’
I nodded.
‘He was most definitely innocent.’ He sipped his beer. ‘He reckons she wanted to teach him a lesson and planted them in the house and tipped off the police. Anonymously, of course.’
‘That’s a shocking thing to think.’
‘Maybe, but I can see where he’s coming from. How would you feel if you were banged up for something that you didn’t do? It ruined him.’
I nodded my understanding.
‘I’ve done my best for him and managed to get him a labouring job with a mate. He didn’t want to take him on, understandably so, but I vouched for him and so far, it’s working out well. I’d even say he’s turning his life around. His attitude is better than it used to be.’
‘That’s good. You often hear of people coming out of prison more connected with the criminal mind than before they went in.’
‘Yeah, whether it’ll last is another matter. He wants to move out of the area to get away from Lauren and the reminders of his past life, but getting a job will be difficult. For now, he’s going to stay.’
‘Do you think I’d be able to persuade him to talk to her?’
‘In a word, no.’
I held a strained stare.
‘Of course, you’re welcome to try but it’s not going to be easy. Put it this way, would you want to speak to her after what she’s done?’
‘She didn’t plant the drugs.’
‘Do you know that as a fact?’
Tensing, I did not reply.
‘I don’t mean to cause you offence, Ebony, but I know Lauren and know the tales she’s likely to have spun you. I’m not saying she’s a liar, but …’ His voice trailed.
His comment caused me concern. Was she drawing me in for a reason unknown? Was I being gullible trying to help her? I even wondered if the threats she had received were genuine until I remembered that the last one arrived at some point between our time on the hospital roof and upon arriving at her home.
‘I feel as though I’m a good judge of character,’ I said.
He smiled. ‘I’m sure you are.’
‘I admit that Lauren was wrong in telling the police the drugs were his, but she can’t take it back. I’m sure she would have done if she could.’
‘Would you have done the same?’
‘I …’ I paused and considered his comment. ‘I hope I’d be certain of my facts first.’
‘Exactly. Lauren didn’t do that. She jumped to a monumental conclusion and made it clear from the outset that she wasn’t on his side. She didn’t even want to pay for a lawyer.’ He paused. ‘She disowned him and wanted him to plead guilty from the start in hope of getting a lesser sentence. James was horrified. It cost her, her marriage.’
‘She told me that some kid admitted to buying drugs from him. Surely, that proves—’
‘It proves nothing. The kid was lying … must have had it in for him or something. He’s since admitted it.’
‘To the police?’
‘No, to his mates. My guess is that Lauren paid him to do it.’
‘I really don’t think she would do that. Someone’s been threatening her.’
‘I’ve heard that one as well,’ he said.
I studied his pensive gaze. ‘I thought you liked her.’
He did not reply.
‘You visited her in hospital. And she thinks highly of you. She said so.’
An amused expression lay on his face. I was about to ask him about his reaction when Austin strode away from the group in the corner and progressed to the bar. When our eyes locked, he ordered a beer then strode towards us.’
‘What’s going on here?’ he asked Glenn.
‘I was just chatting with this lovely lady. You can join us if you like.’
His stare was intense.
‘I’m Ebony,’ I said.
‘Your mother’s nurse,’ Glenn added.
‘Yeah, right.’ He stuffed his hands in his pockets and held a tight stare.
‘Has she spoken to you about her illness?’ I asked.
‘I don’t want anything to do with her.’
‘I understand how you feel. She told me she’s treated you appallingly and says she’s sorry.’ I paused. ‘She would like a chance to tell you herself.’
‘Not interested!’ he said and went to the bar.
I shot Glenn a glance hoping he’d help me out. He took the hint, hurried to his side and said something out of earshot. The conversation extended, and my hope and nervousness both lifted and fell. On one hand, I wished to keep my promise to Lauren; on the other hand, I didn’t want to involve myself in their private affairs. I was torn and kept my focus on my glass as their conversation continued.
Eventually, Austin strode towards me and Glenn joined the men at the pool table. Even though I welcomed him with a warm smile, his fidgety and uncomfortable behaviour told me he didn’t wish to speak to me.
‘He says we should talk,’ he said.
‘Do you want to?’
He shrugged. ‘Can’t see the point. You’ll be on her side.’
‘I’m not sure that I am.’ I glanced at the stool. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’
‘I don’t need counselling or anything.’
‘I’m no counsellor.’ I paused. ‘And you seem certain of your emotions. I doubt you’d need one.’
He stilled.
‘What do you know about your mother’s illness?’ I asked.
‘Glenn’s told me stuff.’ He folded his arms. ‘She deserves it.’
‘I understand why you’d say that.’
‘No you don’t. You think I’m shitty saying it.’
‘Not at all. She grassed on you for a crime you didn’t commit. You’ve every right to be angry with her. I’d be furious as well. No one likes to be accused of something they didn’t do, and especially not something as serious as what you were accused of.’
His expression brightened.
‘Glenn says you think your mother planted the drugs.’
‘Yeah, so?’
‘Do you think she loves you?’
‘If she did she wouldn’t have done it.’ His neck tensed and his skin reddened. ‘What kind of mother is she for fuck's sake? My mates don’t have mothers like her. They back them even if they’ve done wrong. She’s wrong in the head—one mental bitch.’
‘Can you accept she made a mistake?’
‘No way!’ he said. ‘I’d been telling her for months I’d been off the she never believed me. And anyway, how could I have afforded that kind of money? The stash was worth thousands. I had a couple of quid to my name, tops.’
‘Did the police give you an explanation for that?’
He withheld his reply.
‘I can see how much this bothers you. Believe me, I am on your side.’
He interrupted my flow. ‘No you’re not. You’re on her side.’
‘Can’t they be the same?’
His grip tightened on his glass.
‘We can all make mistakes, Austin. I have and I’m sure you have too.’
He opened his mouth to speak.
‘And before you say it, I’m not meaning with the stash. I believe you are innocent where that’s concerned.’
‘My best mate didn’t. He lied to the police and in court. It turned the case against me. But I didn’t do it. I didn’t fucking do it! She set me up!’
I studied his pained expression. His distress was as evident as Lauren’s was, and it was an uncomfortable watch. He may have done some terrible things growing up, but he didn’t deserve what had happened to him. Something happened that I couldn’t grasp; it was a disconcerting thought.
Raucous laughter coming from the pool table area caught my attention. I glanced towards the group and to Glenn having a friendly tussle with one of the other men and it ended in a headlock. Austin, though, appeared oblivious and stared at his beer.
‘I do believe everything you say,’ I said regaining his attention. ‘I believe you are innocent.’
‘So tell me, why did she do it?’
‘I think informing the police was a huge mistake for her, one she’s regretted ever since. But as for the stash—’
His anger was instant. ‘It wasn’t mine!’
‘I’m not saying it was. In fact, I would go as far as saying it definitely wasn’t yours.’ My voice drifted as my thoughts intensified. Who was doing this to them? Was it one of his friends? Was it Glenn or his father? Was it someone I wasn’t aware of?
‘Okay,’ he said in a staid voice. ‘So who put it there?’
‘That’s what I’d like to know, too.’
‘Well, until I know otherwise, as far as I’m concerned she’s done it.’
I assumed that also meant that he would have nothing to do with her, something that put me in a difficult position. I didn’t want to progress this any further, but I knew the instant I told Lauren of the situation she would persuade me to investigate it further. I doubted she would go so far as to blackmail me with her emotions, but I did believe she would utilise my compassionate side to her advantage.
‘Do you really believe she cares for me?’ he asked.
‘I know she loves you. She may have a strange way of showing it, but it is there, inside.’
He looked at the table.
‘Did you hear about her suicide attempt?’
He nodded. ‘Dad told me. He showed me the article in the newspaper. He said she did it for attention … mental bitch.’
I tensed. The moment I believed I was getting somewhere with him was the moment he spoke opposing comments. He was a mixed-up young man, and whilst I was no expert, I believed he was desperate for his mother’s attention. However, telling him such a thing would not be a useful comment to make. I had noted his defensive side coming out a couple of times, and whilst I believed I was gaining his trust, he wasn’t going to admit it readily.
He drew my attention. ‘If she cared about me she would have spoken to me about the cancer, at the very least.’
‘Maybe, but it would be a difficult conversation to have.’
He looked stunned. ‘You are on her side!’
‘No I’m not,’ I said quickly. ‘I’m just trying to imagine what it would be like.’
He mumbled something under his breath and swigged his beer.
‘Does she try to speak to you?’
‘She’s a fucking nutcase. She watches the house and everything. She’s come in here a few times—thinks I don’t know she’s there but I do. She was here a couple of days ago sitting over there.’ He pointed to a table near to the pool table. ‘She creeps me out … won’t accept I want nothing to do with her.’
‘She’s probably desperate.’
‘You’re right there! She’s one desperate fucked up bitch. I told her right where to go. I don’t need scum like that in my life.’
‘How did she take it?’
‘She turned on the tears … thought it would work on me like it does Dad.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not some loser.’
It was distressing to see Austin as angry as he was, but at the same time, I sympathised with him. I could understand why he wouldn’t like her following him or spying on him, and believed there would have been better ways for her to go about fulfilling her aim. I wasn’t even certain that her suicide attempt had worked to her advantage, as it seemed to have added to Austin’s belief that she was seriously mentally troubled. He didn’t want to be associated with her weakness. He wanted to be with people who would make him feel good about himself and make him feel worthwhile as a human being.
I glanced at Glenn across the room. It was clear that he had influence over Austin, and I was grateful. Nevertheless, it did make me wonder what I was getting myself involved with. I liked Austin—I was a sucker for people who needed a bit of love and compassion. Even so, was I right to do this?
‘I’d better get back to the lads,’ he said.
‘Sure. Thanks for talking to me. I won’t pressurise you to talk to your mother as that has to be your decision, but I would like you to know that I’ll be there for you if you ever need to chat.’
An appreciative look warmed his face.
I grabbed a pen from my bag and a beer mat from the table and wrote out my mobile number.
He picked it up. ‘How long does she have left?’
‘It’s impossible to say. It could be weeks or if she’s lucky months.’
When I saw his distress drift across his face, I wanted to provide him with better news. But I couldn’t do that, nor did I believe it would be appropriate to tell him to hurry up with his decision to speak to her. It had to be his choice; I didn’t want to persuade him either way.
‘I won’t miss her,’ he said in a strong voice.
I studied his expression and forced a weak smile. The vulnerability had gone and it was his other persona speaking, the one that got had helped him through the last couple of years and the one that had forced his strength and independence from an early age.
‘You won’t make me speak to her, will you?’ he said.
‘Of course not. That has to come from you.’
He nodded and walked away.
Saddened by his suffering, I donned my jacket and flung my bag over my shoulder. My plan was to visit the Ladies room and return to Lauren, who presumably was still in The Little Teacup. However, en route, Glenn hurried towards me with a bright expression on his face.
‘That went well by the look of it,’ he whispered.
‘I think so.’ I passed Austin a slight glance. ‘I think there’s a sensitive kid under that tough façade.’
‘There is … poor kid. Do you fancy going somewhere else? I’d love to see you again.’
My heart flip-flopped. No one had asked me out on a date since I’d split with my boyfriend. It was a welcome novelty. ‘I’d love to but I’ll have to take Lauren home first.’
‘Okay, then I’ll meet you there in half an hour.’
‘Great Just give me a sec.’
I hurried into the Ladies, visited the toilet and washed my hands. Then I touched up my makeup, combed my hair, and applied a bit of perfume to behind my ears and on my neckline. Once I was satisfied with my appearance, I vacated the small room only to come face to face with Lauren entering the pub.
Austin noticed her arrival too and shot me a furious stare. ‘You promised me you wouldn’t do this,’ he yelled. ‘You fucking promised.’
I hurried towards him to try to calm him down. But he wasn’t having any of it, and it left me feeling, hurt and bewildered and struggling to know what to do. I may not have betrayed him, but I might as well have done. In his eyes, I was no better than his mother.
Glenn guided me away. ‘I’ll deal with this,’ he said in a quiet voice. ‘Rain check?’
I nodded.
He pulled a contact card from his pocket and handed it across. It said he was the owner of a fireworks business. ‘Call me later?’
I said I would and followed Lauren
from the bar. Just before I stepped through the door, I passed Austin one last glance. He was talking to Glenn and the fury remained on his expression. It was a sad sight to see.
Chapter 8
We stepped outside the pub and strode to my car.
‘Should I ask how it went?’ Lauren asked.
‘He’s going to need some persuading.’ I extracted my key from my handbag. ‘Glenn seems to have some influence over him.’
‘I saw you whispering. Are you into him?’
Pondering my reply, I unlocked my car and climbed inside. Since I wasn’t certain of her relationship with Glenn or if I’d be crossing a boundary by admitting that I liked him, I kept my response vague, turned the ignition, and drove away. She commented no further, and after a while of silence, I passed her a sidelong glance. I expected her to want every detail of the conversation I’d shared with Austin, yet she said nothing and stared out of the side window in a seemingly moody silence. Had I not felt coerced into meeting with him, I might have let the situation pass; as it was, I believed I should offer her something and told her that I had given Austin my mobile phone number in case he wanted to talk.
‘Fine,’ she said in a harsh tone.
I shot her a puzzled glance. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’
‘Thrilled!’
Her remark surprised me. Being down on me seemed a curious way to behave and I felt irritated. I didn’t think I had acted inappropriately. I believed I had given Austin a chance to speak to someone close to his mother and find more about her as and when he wanted to.
‘Sorry,’ she said quickly. ‘I am pleased you did that. I just wish I were the one he’d choose to open up to rather than you.’
I turned my head to speak.
‘I saw you through the window,’ she continued. ‘I was watching you for a while. It seemed intense. I take it he was steaming off about me.’
‘A bit. He’s confused. He doesn’t know where the drugs came from.’
‘And he thinks I put them there.’
I nodded. ‘I don’t agree with him but I can see why he’d think that.’