“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Yeah, promise you won’t love your new winger as much as you love me.”
“I think I won’t even take a new winger, it’ll just be me and Andreas.”
Adam laughs. “Fuck, this is terrible,” he says. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” Elliot says.
Adam doesn’t call him for a while.
Elliot’s mom gets home, gives him a hug, because of course she’s seen the news, then she asks him what he wants for dinner, if she should make cookies and Elliot says yes to the pity cookies. He replies to Blake, sends him a sad face in return, because he can’t think of anything to say, other than, Can you please come here right now and hug me for a week? They’ll see each other after the Draft anyway.
The next day, Elliot tries to stick to his schedule, meets with his trainer, buys himself a smoothie on the way home and then goes back to lying in his parents’ backyard. He should ask them if they mind that he invades their house every summer. At some point.
Not tonight.
Tonight his dad grumbles about the NHL Awards, because he never agrees with who wins and his mom makes popcorn and grabs the leftover cookies and they settle in to watch the ceremony.
Elliot knows all of those guys, has at least shaken hands with them, has met many of them at the All Star Game, but tonight he really only cares about the Vezina. Everyone agrees that Blake should be the one to win it, everyone acts like it’s a sure thing, basically already decided, but Elliot is still nervous, stomach in knots, until they say Blake’s name on TV.
“Tell him we’re happy for him, eh?” Elliot’s dad says, apparently for once in agreement with how the Awards are going.
“Yeah,” Elliot says and grabs his phone.
It takes him a good fifteen minutes to find the right words, knowing that Blake likely won’t reply for a while. Then he adds a, can’t wait to see you, because it’s the truth and because he thinks he’s going to explode if he doesn’t say it.
Adam calls him later that evening and Elliot goes out the back door and sits in his favorite chair, hoping he won’t get eaten alive. He lights one of the candles that are supposed to keep the mosquitoes away.
“Sorry, it’s kinda late, but Lou just went to bed and we spent all day trying to figure things out and looking for houses online and shit,” Adam says.
“You okay?” Elliot asks.
“I’m still getting used to the idea that I’m gonna have to move to fucking Arizona. I mean, this isn’t… We know this can happen to anyone at any point, but it still took me by surprise. I thought I was gonna stay, you know? I thought they wanted me to stay. Guess not.”
“We’ll miss you.”
Adam takes a deep breath on the other end of the line. “We painted the fucking nursery. In New York,” he says. “I’m gonna pay someone to paint the nursery in Arizona, I’m not doing that shit again.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Elliot says.
“How’s everything back home? Your folks okay?”
“Yeah, they’re fine.”
“And you?”
“Also fine,” Elliot says.
“Can you say more than two words, Moo? Distract me from my misery. Tell me all the hot Oshawa gossip.”
“I met Riley Walsh the other day.”
“Aw, he was such a good guy. It sucked when he got traded.”
“Yeah. I’ll probably have dinner with him when I’m back from New York.”
“What are you going to New York for?” Adam asks.
“Oh, uh… visiting someone.”
“In New York? We live in New York. I’m in New York. Visit me.”
“I can swing by and say hello,” Elliot says. Blake will understand if Elliot ditches him for a couple of hours to hang out with Adam, considering that Adam will be moving to Arizona.
“Please, we’ll have some quality Adam-Elliot time, Lou won’t mind. We can–”
“Adam,” Elliot says, “I don’t think I’ll have time.”
“Wait, so you are visiting someone? I thought you were just fucking around. Who?”
Elliot breathes in and out very slowly. “It’s complicated.”
“You’re not sick or anything, right?”
“No, it’s…” Elliot squeezes his eyes shut. Adam already knows. He won’t suddenly have an issue with this. “A guy.”
“A guy?”
“Yes, a guy.”
“What kind of guy?”
“A guy, Adam.”
“I don’t ge– Wait. A guy?”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“Like,” Adam says slowly, “a boyfriend?”
“No, not really.”
“But there’s a guy.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” Adam says, “tell me about the guy.”
“I can’t.”
“Come on, Moo, I won’t… I’m not an asshole, we’ve talked about this. Tell me about the guy. You’d tell me if it was a girl. Is he hot?”
“Adam.”
“Is he?”
“Yeah.”
“Nice. You have a picture of him? Oh, oh, wait, can I meet him?”
“I’ll ask him,” Elliot says, voice low, because he’s scared it might crack under the weight of everything he’s feeling right now.
“For how long have you known him?”
Elliot thinks about Blake lying in the grass with him, seventeen years old, on a summer day he’ll never forget. “A while.”
“So it’s serious?”
Blake’s not even his boyfriend. Is it serious? “I’m in love with him,” Elliot says.
#
Elliot’s flight to New York is delayed.
Maybe he shouldn’t have booked a flight to Newark. He doesn’t know what he was thinking. The flight to LaGuardia that left thirty minutes ago was on time. Maybe he should have gone to LaGuardia instead.
But Newark is where Blake lives and when Elliot sent him his flight info, the first thing Blake said was, cool I’ll pick you up. So he’ll probably go to Blake’s place first and they’ll take things from there. Maybe they’ll go to Elliot’s, too. It’d be weird to be so close to home for a week and not spend some time at his own place. Blake can come.
“Excuse me.”
Elliot looks up and finds himself face-to-face with a very small child. She’s wearing a dress that probably belongs to a Disney princess. Her mother is hovering a few steps behind her, looking apologetic. “Hey, there,” Elliot says.
“Are you Elliot Cowell?”
“I am,” Elliot says, “and what’s your name?”
She holds out her hand for him to shake and says, “I’m Evie.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Evie.”
“My brother didn’t believe that it was really you,” Evie tells him. “He wanted to get a sandwich instead.”
“Well, it really is me.”
The mom clears her throat, tugging at the kid’s hand. “Sweetie, let’s go, okay? Mr. Cowell is on vacation.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Elliot says. People do shoot him looks when they see him at the airport and sometimes people think he has time for an hour-long conversation about hockey. Little girls aren’t much of a problem, though. “Do you want me to sign anything for you?”
Evie’s eyes go impossibly wide.
Elliot ends up signing a piece of paper in a coloring book with a purple crayon, then takes a picture with her, crouches down beside her and talks to her for a few more minutes before he excuses himself and goes to his gate.
He gets on the plane without any issues and it looks like they won’t change the departure time again. He falls asleep as soon as they’ve taken off and doesn’t wake up until the announcement that they’ll be landing soon.
His suitcase is already waiting for him at baggage claim and for once he doesn’t regret wasting money on priority access, because that means that he’ll see Blake faster
.
Blake is already waiting for him and seeing him is akin to walking into a wall. Which is ridiculous. He knows what Blake looks like. Since he won the Cup, pictures of him have been everywhere. He literally saw him on TV a few days ago. But now he’s right there in very tight jeans and a very tight black shirt, with his hair in a bun, and then there’s the eyes and the tattoos and it’s… a lot.
He waves when he sees Elliot and Elliot waves back at him and then they’re next to each other and Elliot doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know if he should hug him or even touch him at all.
Blake saves him, pats his back and says, “Follow me.”
Blake is an insanely good driver. Both hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, using his turn signal. Which is great. Except Elliot is pretty much dying in the passenger seat, the sun burning down outside, the air conditioning doing very little to cool things down.
“Do you need both your hands?” Elliot asks.
Blake snorts. “What?”
“Can I borrow one?” Elliot asks, which is, admittedly, a very strange way of asking someone to hold your hand, but Blake doesn’t comment on it, just takes one hand off the wheel and holds it out to Elliot, and Elliot takes it with both his hands, lacing their fingers together.
Elliot gives the hand back when Blake needs to do a little more steering and Blake asks about his flight, asks him what he wants for dinner, if he wants to stop at the grocery store to buy any food and Elliot waves him off. They can order food.
“Are you tired?”
“No, I slept on the plane. I just spent a lot of time at the airport today,” Elliot says. He was supposed to be here over two hours ago. “I’m glad I’m here now. There’s been lots of stuff going on.”
“I’m sorry about Adam.”
Elliot sighs. “It’s a business.” He’s been telling himself that. It’s a business and there’s nothing anyone could have done. The Ravens are going to start the new season with a completely different team, only a handful of players left from last season. Something had to change, but Elliot wishes they could have at least kept Adam.
The Ravens probably aren’t done making moves either.
Blake reaches over to put his hand on Elliot’s thigh, squeezes, then quickly pulls it away again.
Elliot is about to complain and tell him that he could have left it there, because he didn’t mind at all and kind of wants it back, but then Blake turns right into a resident parking garage and Elliot realizes that they’ve made it to Blake’s place.
Blake parks in his spot, then gets Elliot’s suitcase for him and grumbles at him when he tries to take it. Elliot follows him into the elevator, suitcase between them, Elliot’s eyes fixed on Blake’s hand, curled around the handle, his own hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants. There’s probably a security camera in the elevator and that’s the only thing keeping Elliot from shoving that suitcase out of the way.
It takes Blake about a hundred years to unlock the door to his apartment, a hundred years in which Elliot hovers next to him, shifting his weight as he waits for Blake to fit his damn key into the damn lock.
The door opens and Angus and Squid are waiting a few feet into the hallway, eyeing Elliot with suspicion.
“Hey, Angus,” Blake says and grabs him, “your best friend is here.”
Elliot is handed a displeased cat, which means his plan to push Blake against a wall and kiss him senseless is out the window. Angus purrs when Elliot hugs him against his chest, eyes on Blake, who’s closed the door but hasn’t moved otherwise.
“Hey,” Blake says.
Gently, Elliot sets down Angus. He still wants to get his hands on Blake, but they’re clearly not doing that right now. “Hey,” Elliot says.
Blake nods at Elliot’s suitcase. “Do you want to sleep here? Or I can drive you to your place later.”
Elliot can’t help but smile, because Blake has told him several times that the world would have to be ending for him to voluntarily drive to Manhattan. “I’ll stay.”
“Okay.” Blake nods again. “Where do you want to sleep?”
“Uh…”
“I have a guest room,” Blake says. “If you want it. Or–”
Elliot’s had enough of this. Blake knows where he wants to sleep. Blake knows where he wants him, too, he’s just talking his way around it for some reason. Elliot steps closer and kisses him, because that’s what he’s here for. That’s why Blake asked him to come. They’re not going to spend the entire week in this apartment, but it’s the only place where they can do this, so he’s not losing any more time.
Blake makes a surprised sound when Elliot’s lips meet his. Elliot isn’t gentle about it, not when he’s spent days thinking about this, distracted, daydreaming, his mom shaking her head at him when she talked to him and he didn’t reply, his thoughts already right here.
When Elliot pulls away, Blake is still leaning against the wall, mouth slack, lips wet, breathing uneven.
“I’ll sleep in your bed,” Elliot says.
Blake nods, a smile tugging at his lips.
“I told Adam that I’m in love with you.”
The smile that was barely there to begin with disappears quickly. “You what?”
“I didn’t tell him it was you, just that it was someone. Who happens to be you.” Elliot doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look of Blake’s face. “Did I fuck up?”
“No,” Blake says. “Just… You did that.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because… I am.”
Blake swallows. “You’re what?”
“In love with you.”
Blake reaches for him then, just for his hand, curls his fingers around Elliot’s and holds on.
It’s an I love you, too, if Elliot has ever seen one.
#
“Hey… Blake?”
Blake scrunches up his nose.
“Did you go back to sleep?” There’s a pause, then there are lips on Blake’s forehead, fingers in his hair, and a whispered, “Sorry.”
“I’m awake,” Blake says and blindly reaches for Elliot.
“It’s okay if you wanna go back to sleep,” Elliot says, right next to his ear. Elliot kisses his temple and Blake leans into it, cracks an eye open and sees Elliot, in all his early morning glory. Curls messy, cheeks vaguely stubbly, sleep in his eyes. He’s completely naked and he’s kicked off the sheets. He has freckles on his shoulders.
“No, really,” Blake mumbles and leans over to kiss the top of Elliot’s shoulder, “I’m awake.”
Elliot hums, breath hitching when Blake reaches out to touch him. Elliot moves quickly, straddles Blake’s hips, only a thin sheet between them, but Elliot doesn’t push it out of the way yet.
He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry this morning, keen on taking his time. He finds Blake’s hands and pushes them down against the mattress, grinding against him, slowly, Blake impatient under him, burning up with every touch, every single one of Elliot’s movements drawing a sound from him, until Elliot takes pity and crawls down, takes the sheet with him, lips finding the inside of Blake’s thigh.
Elliot sucks a mark there, teeth sharp against Blake’s skin. “You’re so beautiful,” Elliot says and presses a kiss to the bruise he left yesterday. Blake is pale as a ghost, especially compared to Elliot, bruises easily. He still has some lingering marks from the playoffs, mostly faded now, but Elliot found one of them last night and put his lips on that one, too.
Last night wasn’t this lazy, last night was about getting off their clothes and getting to touch skin, Elliot taking whatever he wanted and Blake more than willing to give, fast and desperate. This morning, there’s time to linger, and they have all the time in the world, all the time they never thought they’d have. Blake is pretty sure that Elliot said, “I always wanted to do this,” three times last night.
They stay in bed all morning, the sheets tangled around their feet. Elliot mumbles something about breakfast and Blake nuzzles into h
is hair. Blake loves him a lot, so much that he doesn’t even know how to say it, because I love you sounds too cheesy, and at the same time like it’s not enough.
It doesn’t matter what he told Elliot in January.
It’s too late anyway.
He’s in love with him, was in love with him even before they kissed on New Year’s Eve, and it’s going to hurt either way, whatever they decide to do. If Elliot wants him, in whichever way he chooses, well… he can have Blake. Elliot probably knows that. He must know.
When Blake asked him to come here, he basically asked him to forget what he said before. People always get hurt, no matter how hard you try, and when he asked Elliot to make up his mind first, he hurt him, too. There was no winning for either of them.
They take another nap before they get up, Elliot plastered against him, sticky, sweaty, breath hot against Blake’s skin.
Blake wakes up when Elliot moves away and slips out of bed. “Where are you going?”
“I just remembered something,” Elliot says. He bends down behind the bed to grab his briefs and then pulls on the shirt Blake was wearing yesterday.
Blake frowns at him.
“I don’t want the cats to see me naked,” Elliot says before he disappears into the hallway. He obviously doesn’t close the door fast enough, so Squid flits into the room, hops onto Blake’s bed and meows at him accusingly.
Right. Food. “In a minute,” Blake mumbles. He holds out his hand and Squid accepts a few gentle pats.
When Elliot returns he nearly trips over Angus, who’s sitting by the door, judging them silently. “Here,” Elliot says and drops something brown and fuzzy on Blake’s chest.
“Um…” Blake holds it up. “It’s a moose.”
“You told me to bring you a moose.”
“You’re so stupid,” Blake says, grinning despite himself. He pulls Elliot down for a kiss. “Thank you. I’ll give it a name and everything.”
“Good,” Elliot says. “It took me forever to find a good one.”
“A good moose?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t believe you went moose shopping.”
Elliot shrugs. He flops back down next to Blake, leg thrown across Blake’s. “So…”
“Hm?”
“What’s the plan for today?”
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