“You speak as if you have no interest in the man,” her cousin said as they reached the door to the stables. “I thought you liked him.”
Juliet snorted. “He is a fool, a man consumed with brandy and arrogance. I only agreed to his invitation to please Mother.” When Annabel pursed her lips, Juliet spoke before the girl could ask another question. “Let us see what the stable boy is doing.”
Annabel opened the door and they entered the stables. Juliet searched for Daniel, but when she could not see him, she led Annabel further down the corridor. More than likely he was in the back at the worktables.
When they rounded the corner, Juliet felt a sense of pleasure when, indeed, Daniel sat at his table, this time with a book in his hands. Then she frowned as he spoke, his voice loud.
“‘J. This is a J.’”
Juliet took a moment to look the man over. Why did he not buy himself a new coat? The one he wore was as tattered as that of a street urchin.
“‘This is a…” He slammed the book shut. “I can’t do this. I’ll never learn.”
“You are reading?” Juliet asked.
Daniel jumped from the stool, his eyes wide with alarm. “Miss Juliet. Miss Annabel. I did not hear you come in.”
Juliet smiled, her heart warming at seeing his face. “We are quiet when we walk, a trait we were taught by a scoundrel from Scotland.”
Daniel smiled and clasped his hands in front of him, but he said nothing.
“Were you reading?”
“I…” He glanced at the book he had thrown on the table and then looked back at them. “I don’t know how to read. I mean, I know some letters, and I’m trying to learn, but it’s hard to remember what I learned when I was young.”
“That is a noble effort,” Juliet said. “Although, I do not believe it will be of much good to you, especially one of your position.”
Daniel reddened further and looked down at the floor as he nodded.
Juliet studied the man. How was it that she, the most beautiful woman of the ton, could stand before him, yet he spent the majority of their time together looking down at the floor? Granted, he did speak to her when she asked a question, and she caught him sneaking glances at him when he thought she was not watching. However, it made little sense that he was not awestruck enough by her beauty to be unable to keep his eyes off her. Never had he ever even commented on such an important aspect of who she was.
Well, she would get him to admit that which she wished to hear! She took a step toward him, her crutches making a light thump. “I have good news to share. The new cobbler in the village? When we introduced ourselves to him, he nearly fainted from shock for having ladies of beauty in his presence. Did that not happen, Annabel?”
“It most certainly did,” her cousin replied with a proud nod.
“That’s nice to hear,” Daniel said.
“Indeed,” Juliet replied. “However, that is not all. The latest fashion in riding boots has arrived from Paris, and he is not only making a pair for me so I am the first to own them, but he says he cannot charge me, for my beauty is that great.”
“I’m happy for you,” Daniel said, although he did not appear all that happy. “I should return to work; my break is over.”
As he turned his back to her and reached for a tool on the table, Juliet felt a bolt of anger course through her. Why did the man not smile at her as he once had? Her last few attempts at getting him to do so had failed, and it annoyed her greatly.
She gave him a derisive sniff. “You must buy a new coat. Yours is far too worn and makes you look dreadful.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them and even more so upon seeing the man turn and face her. His eyes were filled with pain as he brushed at the tattered material.
“You’re right,” he said. “Lord Parsons told me the same. I suppose I should heed his advice, and yours, and buy one when I have enough money.”
Guilt coursed through Juliet. Why did she say such things? “I am sorry,” she said, taking another step toward him. “I did not mean to speak to you in such a horrible manner. Please, forgive me.”
“No, you’re only saying what’s true,” he replied. “And Lord Parsons is a man of stature. I should be thankful he thought enough of me to point it out.”
Annabel moved closer to one of the work benches and began fiddling with some of the tools, but Juliet barely took notice.
“Your coat will do,” Juliet said, lowering her voice so only he could hear her. “May I ask something.”
The man frowned. “You can ask me anything, Miss Juliet.”
Juliet’s heart beat against her chest, and she felt lightheaded. “These men, they tell me I am beautiful, but I am curious as to what you believe.”
When he looked back up at her, he had an earnestness she had rarely seen in him. “Those men are right, Miss Juliet. I’ve told you before, and my answer remains the same.”
She sighed. Why did he not simply say the words? “I ask you again. What do you think? Am I beautiful?”
All went quiet except the light whinnying of the horses and the rattle of one of the shutters that covered the windows. After what seemed like years, Daniel finally replied, “Lord Parsons is a fortunate man to be in your company. I hope he appreciates it.” He returned to his worktable, turning his back to her.
Juliet shook her head. What was so difficult about saying a woman was beautiful? Even the lowly cobbler, a man she had never met before today, said the words. Yet, this man before her, who she had known since they were children, refused to speak them.
There was a far greater question, however. Why did it matter so much to her? Why did she need confirmation from a stable boy when she already knew the truth herself?
Regardless, his unwillingness to say what she wished pained her, and so, she decided she would pay him in kind.
“I am leaving with him next week to go on a carriage ride. I will have to endure his speaking highly of me for some time.”
“That’s good.” The boy did not even bother to turn to face her! If her foot did not pain her so much, she would have stomped it.
Annabel joined them, and Juliet did her best to flounce on her crutches. “Have a new coat by next month, or Mother will have you thrown out into the streets,” she called over her shoulder as she fought back tears that filled her eyes. Then with a quick nod at Annabel, she headed to the stable doors, leaving the blasted stable boy to whatever work he had to complete.
***
Large snowflakes floated to the ground as Juliet gazed out the drawing room window. The landscape was a blanket of white, and tree branches hung low with the weight they carried. Five days had passed since she had said those horrible words to Daniel, and the guilt had plagued her since. Her reaction confused her, for she did not understand what could possibly compel her to want to hear him call her beautiful. His status was much too low to consider his opinion of any importance, and few men or women of the ton would take a moment’s notice of the man.
Yet, that was how she was different. She had a desire to look upon his handsome features, even if he was only a stable hand, and all she asked in return was for him to tell her that he thought her lovely. Although his eyes had sparkled the night he carried her into the house after her fall, he had not looked at her that way since, and that, too, bothered her.
Despite her concern for his lack of admiration, something else, something quite strange and unfamiliar, bothered her. What had driven her to be so cruel? By all accounts, she should apologize to the man. It would not be the first time she had made her apologies for unkind words; however, in the past she had only spoken such words to men of greater standing. Daniel was a simple servant and she a lady.
In fact, her words had been in direct frustration of being reminded that she was to accompany Lord Parsons, and therefore she had been heartless. It was not Daniel’s fault she had agreed to the outing, but he had broad shoulders that could carry the burden of her frustration.
&nb
sp; She remembered watching the poor boy attempting to read. He was nineteen! How was it he was in the employ of one of the greatest families in England and he had never learned to read?
The door opened and she watched the reflection of her mother entering the room.
“There are many activities to keep a young lady busy. Surely gazing out the window for hours is not one of them.”
Juliet wanted to remind her mother that she had done the same on many occasions over the last few years, but she bit back the retort. “I have been thinking.”
“Of what?”
Juliet sighed. “A gentleman.”
“Would this gentleman be addressed as Lord Parsons?” her mother asked as she joined Juliet beside the window. She wore a wide smile, and Juliet did not have the heart to tell her the truth.
Juliet nodded, but her thoughts were on Daniel.
“And what, pray tell, would be in your thoughts concerning him?”
“When does a man tell a woman she is beautiful?” Juliet asked.
Her mother smiled and put her arm through Juliet’s. “A time comes when a man realizes how he feels concerning a woman, but it depends on the man. When he is ready, he will utter the words from his heart.”
“And what if he does not? Does it mean he does not care for her?”
Her mother sighed. “Men often find it difficult to speak of their feelings. Lord Parsons does not know you well enough to express such sentiments. Do you wish him to do so?”
Juliet nodded. “I do.”
Her mother chuckled. “You have never been one for patience,” she said. “Do not worry; in time, Lord Parsons will come to feel for you as I suspect you do for him.”
“My feelings…” She focused her thoughts on Daniel once again, exchanging his name for that of Lord Parsons in her mind. “I do wish more than anything to hear him speak those words. I just know it will bring me the greatest of happiness.”
“I imagine it will. For love is a beautiful thing.”
Juliet shook her head. “I believe you may have misunderstood. I do not have any notion of love toward Lord Parsons.” Or even Daniel, she amended silently. “I simply wish him to call me beautiful.”
“My sweet Juliet,” her mother said as she brushed a strand of hair from Juliet’s face, “the fire inside you rages. You hold such passion, and although you do not realize it yet, what you are wanting just happens to be the first step toward love.”
Juliet nearly fell over and had to adjust her crutches. She, Miss Juliet Lambert, perhaps the most beautiful woman the ton had ever laid eyes on, falling in love with a stable boy? The idea was ludicrous!
However, as her mind went over the many conversations she and Daniel had shared over the years—not her admonishments but the true conversations they had shared--she had to wonder if there was not a bit of truth to her mother’s words. Whatever she asked, Daniel did without hesitation. Yet, he was her servant and was meant to do as she requested. Was that not to be expected? Therefore, did he do so out of obligation or because he cared?
The more she considered it, the more confused she became.
“Juliet?”
“I am sorry,” she whispered, frightened of the prospect of having feelings for Daniel, a man who was not of her station.
“Do not worry,” her mother said as she patted Juliet’s hand. “There is plenty of time to spend with Lord Parsons. Once your foot is healed, I had hoped to visit your sisters in London. I imagine that, now that you have gained an interest in Lord Parsons, perhaps you will wish to remain here rather than accompany me?”
The parties, the dresses, all of London was eagerly waiting for Juliet to arrive. However, as she thought of those things, an image of Daniel came to mind. No, she needed to remain and work out her feelings.
“You are correct, as always,” she said. “I will remain here in order to continue seeing Lord Parsons.”
Her mother smiled. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. I thought perhaps…” Her words trailed off, and Juliet frowned.
“Thought what?”
“That you had an admiration for the stable boy,” her mother replied with a small laugh. “Now I realize it was simply company you sought, and I am pleased you found it with Lord Parsons.”
Juliet smiled. So, her suspicions of her mother had been correct. The woman had taken notice of her actions toward Daniel. At least the ruse of holding an interest had removed all suspicion.
“Mother,” she said with a laugh, “I am many things, but to believe I would lower myself to consider a servant in that way? They are far beneath us, and he is lucky I even take the time to speak to him at all. In fact, I often wonder about those without the blood we carry through our veins.”
Her mother turned and looked at her. “What blood?” she asked.
“Why, that of society, of course. That is what makes us far better than those equal to the animals.” She clamped her mouth shut when she saw the anger in her mother’s features. She had not meant the words, only speaking them as a way to ease the woman’s suspicions and to keep her from examining the possibility of Juliet’s interest in Daniel. And now that she had said them, she felt a shame she had never experienced in all her life.
“We are fortunate to be in the position we are in life,” her mother admonished. “The servants may be in a lower station than us, but they are just as human as we are. Humans who suffer, who laugh and who cry, and who dream of better lives for themselves and their children. It would serve you well to remember that. I never again want to hear you speak of them with such harsh words.”
Juliet had never seen her mother so angry, especially over the servants, but she nodded, nonetheless. “Yes, Mother. I am sorry.” In truth, she was.
“It is not good enough to be sorry,” her mother scolded. “You must understand their position, as well. Do you believe they do not have their own dreams? Futures they wanted…or did not want? Dreams that their children have a better life than they had been forced to live?”
Juliet stared at her mother, her eyes wide. “I suppose I have never considered it.”
Her mother took a deep breath, as if to calm herself. “You are my daughter, and I love you. Consider taking this next hour before dinner to think on what we have discussed, for it will be one of the greatest lessons a woman of your station could ever learn.”
Without another word, her mother stormed from the room, and Juliet stood staring at the empty doorway before hobbling over to the couch. She studied the fire and wondered why she had said such hateful things. Granted, she oftentimes considered herself far above those of common stock, but never had she ever thought of the servants as animals.
As she thought about what her mother had told her, her shame grew, much like the guilt she had felt in her harsh words to Daniel before. In all reality, not once had she ever asked the man about his dreams, for she had spent all of their time together speaking only of herself.
Letting out a sigh, she promised herself that she would apologize for her comments about his coat, and then perhaps she would ask him about his dreams. She could not imagine what sort of dreams a stable boy could want—was not possessing a position at Scarlett Hall the pinnacle of dreams? However, if what her mother said was true, he must have a greater wish for his life.
And as she thought on that, she then thought on her own dreams and realized that, in truth, she had come to be uncertain what her dreams truly were.
Chapter Eight
The carriage ambled down the road Sunday morning just before noon, the now melted snow leaving behind ruts deeper than usual. Lord Parsons sat across from Juliet and Annabel, both of whom chose matching blue dresses with dark blue coats and gloves.
“If I may ask,” Juliet said when there was a lull in the man’s incessant chatter about business, “do you have any dreams?” An hour locked inside such a confined space with the man was making her nearly mad, thus the reason for her question. Anything to change the topic of conversation aw
ay from that of business.
The man stared at her as if she had offended him with some vile curse word. “Dreams? I am afraid I do not understand the question.”
“It is the dreams one has in life and what they wish to do with it,” Juliet explain, unable to fathom how the man could have not understood in the first place. “Some dream of travel while others…”
“Ah, yes,” he interrupted. “I have many aspirations in life. The first is to increase my business ventures.” The man leaned forward, his dark eyes meeting her own. “Were you aware of my land holdings in this area?”
Juliet stifled a sigh. “No, I was not.” She was thankful that Annabel was beside her, for the man peered at her as if he expected her to be one of his holdings very soon.
The man gave a derisive sniff. “I am not surprised. Most women typically have no knowledge of such things. However, for some reason I think that you, Miss Juliet, are not like most women. In fact, I believe you are far wiser.”
Although men were drawn by her beauty much like Lord Parsons was now, Juliet marveled that yet another man noticed her wisdom, as well.
“The land I own,” the man continued, “is vast. However, I own lands in other parts of England, as well. Why, I have properties in Dover and Birmingham, for example.” He leaned back in his seat, looking the pompous fool he was. “Now, at the age of four and twenty, I am by far one of the wealthiest barons of the ton. I even exceed several earls with what I possess.”
Juliet forced a smile as the carriage turned down a lane. “You spoke of other aspirations, my lord?”
“Indeed,” he replied as if it had slipped his mind. “However, do you not find the use of titles in such an intimate setting to be a bore? How about you address me by my Christian name, Hugh, while we are not out in public. I believe it would make us both feel more comfortable.”
Voices of Shadows Past: Secrets of Scarlett Hall Book 3 Page 7