“How was my first lesson?” he asked.
“You did well,” Juliet replied as she closed the book. “You have remembered much from your childhood lessons.” His smile widened and she felt proud of him. Although he had not remembered immediately, he was a quick learner. “Now, do you remember the first three letters of the alphabet?”
He nodded. “A, B and C,” he replied. “I do remember that.”
Juliet pointed to the letters. “Every day look at this when you have time. Say the name of each letter as you move your finger over them like this.” She traced over first one letter and then another, as if she was writing them. When she finished, she found that his eyes were on her rather than on the book.
“Thank you.” He then turned his attention to the instruction once more.
She closed the book and set it before him. “Now that we have finished your reading lesson, I would like to ask you a few questions.” He nodded and she continued. “What do you think of me?”
The man fidgeted on his seat. “I think you’re kind.”
“No. I mean as a woman.”
“You’re kind,” he repeated. “You’re kind to me.”
Juliet could not help but smile at his naivety. She glanced toward the door to assure herself that Annabel was not close enough to overhear and leaned in closer. “What I mean to say is…you said I was beautiful.” He nodded, his redness moving to his ears. “Well, I think you are handsome.”
His eyes went wide. “Miss Juliet,” he said, his voice panicked, “I can’t have you saying things like that about me.”
He moved to stand, and she grabbed his hand. It was rough and heavily calloused, but the feeling it provided very much resembled how she felt being in his arms.
“Why can I not say that?” she asked.
The man sighed. “You are beautiful, more beautiful than any man may realize. I won’t lie; I’ve thought so for a long time.”
“Then why did it take you so long to tell me?” she demanded. “I was forced to attempt to make you jealous in order to get you to say so.”
To her surprise he laughed. “You mean you weren’t offered money for a kiss?”
Her cheeks burned from his words, but they heated all the more when he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“I’m honored you’d think of me as someone you could make jealous,” he said in his soft voice. “I have to admit that I was.”
Juliet had never heard sweeter words in all her life, and she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. However, the elation she felt was struck down by the words that followed.
“But only a fool would believe that.”
“It is not foolish,” she said with a small smile. “You see, I have a great interest in you.” She swallowed hard in an attempt to add moisture to her suddenly dry mouth. “I do not know what exactly I feel for you, but it is something I wish to explore further.”
He pulled back his hand and stood. “You mustn’t speak like that,” he said in a firm tone. “Never again can you do that.”
“I do not understand,” she said. “What is it about me that is so wrong that you cannot tell me that I am beautiful nor want me to learn more about you?”
He shook his head but gave no answer.
“Is it my stories?” she asked. “I know I exaggerate a bit, but I will stop if that is what you need.” Her heart hurt when he did not respond again. “I know that, in times past, I have treated you horribly, but I did not mean to harm you.”
He sighed. “I know this. I understand why you treated me like you did and said what you said.” He took a step closer to her. “It’s because you feel the same about me as I do about you.”
“Then what is wrong? I am lost in understanding your explanation.”
“I’m just a stable boy,” he replied. “Don’t you see?” Juliet shook her head. “You’re to marry a rich man, a man who can provide you with dresses and beautiful things. To attend parties and be with others like you. You deserve all that and more.”
Juliet did nothing to stop the hot tear that rolled down her cheek for the horrible words he said, even if they were the truth.
“I’ll never be able to do those things for you. Your mother wouldn’t allow it, and your friends would be revolted.”
“I do not wish to marry you,” Juliet said, wiping at her eye. “I only wish to explore our feelings for one another. What is the harm in that?”
“It’s because I care about you that I refuse,” he whispered. “And though it pains me to say it, I can’t let it happen.”
A rush of anger washed over her, and she clenched her fist and jaw at the same time. “There is nothing wrong with speaking to one another,” she said. “And, if anything were to come from it, Mother would approve, for she has never denied me anything.” As Daniel gazed down at her, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and take his hand again. “Please. All I ask is that we continued to speak to one another as we have. Nothing more, I promise.”
“I don’t know if that’d be wise,” he said. “I’m afraid it’ll only cause trouble. If your mother found out the truth, it won’t end well for either of us.”
“She will not learn of it, I promise,” Juliet said, not caring if she sounded as if she were pleading. “Do not hurt me.”
Daniel peered down at her with such kindness in his eyes, she trembled. “I would never hurt you,” he said. He motioned at the stools. “I suppose there’s no harm in talking.”
Juliet retook her seat, and he did the same. “Now, answer my question,” she said with a smile.
The candles flickered on the table as Daniel wrung his hands. “I remember how I thought you were beautiful the day you came to ask me for help with Miss Isabel.”
Juliet listened with interest as Daniel spoke about the past summer before Isabel married Laurence. It was then that Juliet asked him to build a campfire at a particular location away from the house and to bring a bottle of wine. The man had done so at the risk of losing his position, and Juliet cherished him for doing so; even more so now as he spoke of it.
“When I watched you with your sisters, and seeing the smiles you created, that was the moment I realized how beautiful you truly are.”
“Because I made them smile?” Juliet asked in amazement.
He nodded. “Yes. You were worried about Isabel and wanted everyone to be happy. That’s what is beautiful about you. It’s not only the outside but also what’s on the inside. I saw it that night.” He rubbed his overcoat. “And when you gave me this.”
“It did come from my heart,” she whispered. “Much like what you did with my saddle. I told you then, as I do now, it is the greatest gift I have ever received.” They sat smiling at one another, and then Juliet said, “I would like to tell you something more.”
“Please,” he replied. “I’d like to hear what you have to say.”
Juliet grinned. With the sun long set, she knew her mother would be waiting for her to return soon to the house, but she wished to use the time she had as best she could. “Over the past year, I found myself intrigued by you, more so than before. You must understand, I realize now that you caught my eye some time ago, this stable boy to whom I would tell what some would consider slightly untrue stories. I found myself unable to keep myself away from you.”
“You mean stories of highwaymen in the loft?” he asked with a chuckle. “And the fool of a man unable to catch you?”
Juliet’s cheeks burned. “Well, yes,” she said with a giggle. “I must admit now that it was foolish of me to say such things, and I realize now that I must put those ways behind me.”
She smoothed out her skirts to give her hands something to do. From where had this mature version of herself come? She almost did not recognize herself, and yet, it was a person she enjoyed being. Especially when she was speaking to Daniel.
“That night I invited you to the loft with me? I understand now why you declined. I imagine it is because you respect me.”
He nodded. �
��That’s exactly why I said no.”
“When you carried me to the house, the manner in which you looked at me…” She looked down at the ground in order to keep her courage to say the words. “I find I wish to see that look again.”
A horse whinnied, and Juliet knew poor Annabel more than likely had grown bored long ago.
“I admit I enjoyed that look, and now I find myself giving you the same.”
Daniel cleared his throat. “I suppose I liked that look myself,” he said.
Suddenly, they were grinning at one another like two mischievous children, and Juliet wanted this moment to never end. Or if it did, it was with her in his arms. However, she kept her distance; neither of them was quite ready for that step.
“I have been wishing to ask you something else,” she said as she searched his eyes. “What are your dreams in life?”
He did not hesitate in replying. “I’d like to own my own cottage. I want to keep working at a place like this, but it’d be nice to return to my own home at night. It’s a simple dream, but that’s it.”
“I think it is a beautiful dream,” Juliet said with a sigh. “And one I am certain you will realize one day.” She paused. “What did you mean, ‘a place like this’? Could you not do that here?”
He looked down at the ground once more, and Juliet’s heart skipped a beat. “In the North, there are homes and land able to be bought for much less than here. With the number of villages sprouting in that area, I’ve decided to leave Scarlett Hall and move up there.”
Juliet thought she would fall over at his words. “Leave?” she asked in a panic. “When?”
“I’m thinking June at the latest, when travel is easier.”
The idea of this man leaving frightened Juliet, but June was a long way off. She decided to push it aside for now.
“May I ask you a question?” Daniel said.
“Please, do.”
“You asked me about what I want.”
She smiled. “And it is a beautiful dream.”
“But I want to know, what do you want? What is your dream?”
The words seemed to echo off the walls, and she sat uncertain how to reply. Her idea of happiness had changed much in the past month, and now she was, for the first time in her life, without any idea of what she desired.
“I’m sorry for asking,” Daniel whispered. “Forgive me for being bold.”
Juliet laughed. “Not at all. It is a fine question and one I am glad to answer.” She looked at him and wanted nothing more than to tell him everything that was on her heart at that moment. What was the harm in doing so? “I am seeing things as I have never seen them before. You see, since I was young, those things you spoke of before, about when I was married—fine dresses and beautiful things? Those were part of those dreams I once had. I believed that, as long as I had those things, I would be happy in life.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best things in life. If I had them, I’m sure I’d be happy, and you deserve them a lot more than I do.”
“But do you not see? That is now my dilemma. Lord Parsons gave me a gold bracelet, and I know many men of the ton who would buy me anything I desired in exchange for my hand in marriage. Although I believe I could have the finest dresses and attend the grandest of balls, in the end, I would have nothing. For those things do not bring me the joy they once did.” She took a deep breath and released it in order to calm her rattled nerves. Never before in her life had she ever been so frank with anyone, even Annabel. “I will not lie, a woman will always desire beautiful things, but perhaps there is more to life than that.”
Daniel smiled and rose from his stool. “It’s a lesson I’ve learned all my life,” he said. “I used to envy your family for what they could buy, but I came to realize that those fine things your father had weren’t meant for me.” He put his arms out. “Especially now since I got a nice overcoat. And friends like you. A friend I can listen to or maybe tell what I’m thinking.” He sat back down on the stool. “I believe the best things in life can’t be purchased in a shop.”
“No, they cannot,” Juliet whispered. “I am seeing that now more than ever. Thank you for your friendship and the manner in which you have endured my presence in the past.”
“Miss Juliet,” Daniel said, “I think we have a very good friendship, and I’m the one who’ll treasure it. No matter what may come of our lives, I hope to always remain your friend.”
“And I yours,” Juliet said. Then she put her arms around him, not to feel his muscles or to give him the opportunity to whisper to her how beautiful he believed she was, but to relish in the hold of a friend she adored.
“You probably should return to the house before Lady Lambert worries,” he said. “Will you come to teach me tomorrow?”
She nodded. “Yes. If you will have me.”
Daniel laughed. “Tomorrow, it is.”
When Juliet found Annabel, the poor girl was stifling a yawn. “How was the lesson?” Juliet could not see the smile, but she heard it in the girl’s tone. “Were you able to teach him?”
Juliet laughed. “It was I who learned,” she replied. “I realize now that he has taught me more than I could ever teach him.”
A young child had left the house earlier that evening, but a new woman returned to take her place, and Juliet found she liked her very much.
Chapter Fourteen
The house was warm compared to the stables, and Juliet handed her cloak to Forbes as she looked down the hallway toward the study, curious as to what her mother was doing. Juliet had seen little of the woman over the past two days, and after the night’s events, she needed advice that only a mother could give.
“I wish to speak to Mother,” she told Annabel. “Shall we meet in the drawing room?”
Annabel nodded. “I will see you there.”
Juliet made her way down the darkened hallway until she came to the study. The door was ajar, and she inched it open. Inside, candles glowed, highlighting her mother, who sat at the desk once belonging to her father. The woman had no book or quill in her hand, but instead sat with her elbows on the desk and her head buried in her hands.
“Mother?” Juliet whispered, hoping not to startle the woman. Her mother looked up as Juliet closed the door. “What are you doing?”
Her mother chuckled, but it sounded forced. “I was merely thinking,” she replied. “How was the lesson with Daniel?”
“It went well,” Juliet replied, taking a seat in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. “He already recognizes a few letters from memory, but I am hoping that, in a few months, he will be reading.”
“That is good,” her mother replied, placing her hands together on the desk. “However, you must remember that it will take some time. You will need to be patient with him.”
Juliet nodded. “I will. I must admit, he is as eager to learn as I am to teach.”
“No more than three nights a week,” her mother admonished, and Juliet’s heart sank. “You have no reason to conduct that many lessons, as it will only hinder his learning.”
In times past, Juliet would have argued; however, this time, she did not. Her mother was correct, and she did not wish to place an added burden on Daniel.
“I understand,” she replied. She studied her mother’s face. “You appear tired, Mother. Are you well?”
“Oh, yes,” her mother replied with a sigh. “I am tired, but well. It is the daily running of the household that fatigues me. I suppose I am not as spry as I once was.” She said the last with a light chuckle.
Juliet was certain the woman was not telling the complete truth, but she did tend to be stubborn and would never reveal what was bothering her. There were things Juliet wished to ask concerning Daniel, but she knew she could not do so outright.
“And what is on your mind?” her mother asked, her eyes narrowed. “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” Juliet said as a story began to form in her mind. “It is just that, when I was at
Caroline’s, she told me a story, but I doubt its probity.”
Her mother laughed. “Caroline is quite the storyteller,” she said. “What story has she told you this time?”
“She claims that her cousin’s cousin,” she waved her hand dismissively, “was to be wed to a baron. However, she has fallen in love with one of the gardeners. I thought such a thing would never be allowed, but Caroline says that the woman’s parents allowed it.”
Her mother pursed her lips for a moment. “I suppose they could; although, it is very rare. In the end, it would not benefit either person, for the woman would be shunned by her peers, and the man would never be accepted by the ton regardless of how sophisticated he became.”
“He owns property,” Juliet added. “Or rather, he has plans to buy several parcels. Would he not then become a part of the Landed Gentry by doing so?”
Much to Juliet’s disappointment, her mother shook her head. “The amount of land he would have to own would be vast, and then he would have to petition…” She paused and looked at Juliet. “Why does this story interest you so?”
Juliet’s heart raced. Did her mother suspect her true intentions? However, she had one more question to ask. Biting back a retort she preferred to speak, and choosing her words carefully, she said, “We have spoken of love recently, and Caroline said it was due to the love the couple share that the parents allowed it. What do you believe you would do if such a situation arose?”
Her mother’s eyes seemed to bore right through Juliet, and it took everything in her to keep from breaking down and admitting her feelings for Daniel. “This has nothing to do with the cobbler, does it?” her mother asked. “Or you or Annabel?”
“Robert?” Juliet replied with a relieved laugh. “Of course not. I can assure you of that fact. I was simply curious what you thought, is all.”
Her mother leaned back in the chair and sighed. “Forgive my question, but as to yours, I would do everything I could to stop it from happening.”
Voices of Shadows Past: Secrets of Scarlett Hall Book 3 Page 13