by Ann Grech
“What, you want me to tell you it’s bad that you’ve fallen in love?”
I sputtered, but it was totally true. There was no denying I was in love with them. They’d seen me at my worst, they’d come when I needed them the most, and they cared for me, loved me without ever asking anything in return. I loved them. I wanted forever with them, wanted it all.
He smiled knowingly. “Don’t bother to tell me you don’t love them. I know that look. I saw it in the mirror many times when I thought of your mother.”
I sobered thinking of Mom. “I’m sorry, Dad. Life hasn’t turned out fair, has it?” I blinked back tears thinking of the happiness we’d already lost and what else I needed to give up.
“No, but you have to keep living and loving. Your mom and sister would be heartbroken if they thought for a second that you were going to throw love away. You don’t just end a relationship if they’re your soul mates.”
Sage advice, but the old man needed to take a spoonful of his own medicine and start living again.
“No you don’t, but it’s complicated. Too complicated to make it work.”
He shook his head and changed the subject. “How did you meet them? And do they know about each other?”
“Of course they do. I’m not cheating on one with the other. We’re a trio. We’re all together, the three of us.” Nerves at Dad knowing I was involved in a three-way relationship plus a wave of heat hit me at the same time, thinking about what it would’ve been like having the two of them together, having them inside me.
Rick was a top, there was no doubt about it. Mace, I wasn’t so sure about, but at a guess, I’d say I would’ve been the lucky bastard underneath them. I was vers and loved both, but with Mace and Rick, I would’ve happily bottomed for the rest of my life.
I bit back a sigh at that thought—forever. It was an impossibility, but I still wanted to swoon at the fantasy.
I looked up only to see Dad smirking at me. “What?” When he laughed and shook his head, my face flamed red.
“Tell me how you met,” he prompted, and I gave in and told him. It was great finally speaking with him again, getting to see a little of the old Dad come back.
“So where do they live?”
I sighed, the question bringing me back to my shitty situation. Distance had never been an issue in the past, but I’d never had anyone besides myself to think of. Now it was going to be a fatal blow to the budding flower that our relationship could’ve bloomed into.
“Rick’s a pilot. He flies helicopters in New Zealand. Mace was Reef Reid’s coach, but when Reef retired, he took the opportunity to do the same. Mace doesn’t have family tying him down, so he can move around. Rick asked us both to go to NZ with him but….” I shook my head, then realized I’d effectively told Dad my decision. I winced. I didn’t want him to think he was an anchor holding me back from following them, but that’s exactly how I’d made it sound. It wasn’t that at all. I wouldn’t abandon him. Family didn’t do that.
“Ah, that’s your dilemma.” He nodded. “Stay with me and be a good son but struggle and be alone. Or maybe have Mace if he decides to stay with you, but be without the other person in your relationship and wear the guilt of making Mason choose you over Rick. Or you could go with them, be happy and in love and all those good things that are going to give Gracie a happy, well-adjusted childhood, but leave me behind.”
I hated hearing him put it like that. He and Mom had sacrificed so much to give me the career I was desperate for and I threw it back in his face. They’d always been there for me, always encouraged me and never held me back, and now I was telling him I was feeling bad about choosing him—the man who’d already given me everything—over the men I could’ve spent the rest of my life loving. I was a selfish bastard.
There was no choice. Not a real one, anyway. If I could muster the balls, I knew Mace and Rick would understand. They wouldn’t like it, but they’d understand. There was no way I could leave, not when Dad would be alone. How could I live my happily ever after knowing he would die lonely? And I wasn’t being overly dramatic. I knew my father—he’d never be ready to date again. He and Mom had fallen in love when they were kids playing tag in their school playground. You didn’t just forget that kind of love and move on. He’d never love another woman like he did her.
There was also Gracie I needed to think about. If I left, Dad would miss seeing his granddaughter grow up, and I’d deprive her of her pop. I couldn’t do that, couldn’t take Gracie from him too, not when she was the brightest spark in our lives after so much misery.
I had no option, but my heart still shattered into a million pieces at the thought of ending things with them. I loved Mace too much to ask him to stay. He should go and be happy with Rick. They’d have a good life together.
My shoulders slumped, and I nodded. “It’s gonna be hard to say goodbye to them, but I have to.”
“I think we should talk this out as a family,” Dad replied thoughtfully. “How about we forget about fishing and head home?” I looked at him confused—family?—and he added, “It’s pretty clear that you’re in love with those boys, and you trust them enough to look after Gracie. That makes them family, don’t you think?” Without waiting for me to answer, he continued, “Come on, it’s time I started acting like a father and grandfather again.” He began pulling the mooring ropes out of the hatches again, tying the boat in place so it couldn’t float away or smash against the pylons holding up the jetty in a storm.
I was quiet the whole time he worked, and once he’d finished, I followed as he led me to his truck and drove us home.
When he pulled in the drive, I looked out without moving and said, “I filled out the adoption papers yesterday. The lawyer is getting the paperwork processed, and once the judge signs off on it, I’ll be Gracie’s dad. What if I fuck it up, Dad? What if I’m terrible on top of being a complete screw-up at everything else?”
“Caden, you’re not a screw-up. You make me proud every day. You put everyone else first, take the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you’re a good man. A good father. Even now, when a lifetime of your happiness is at stake, you’re prepared to walk away from it to protect me.” He squeezed my shoulder and opened the door. “But if you do that, when are you going to live for you?”
His words hit hard, resonating deep within me, in that part of me that longed for what he wanted me to have, what I wanted to have. But I couldn’t seize my own happiness, not at my father’s expense. He had no one. He’d sacrificed so much for me so I could achieve my dreams; I couldn’t repay him by walking away when he needed me most. Sometimes another person’s happiness—especially if they were family—was worth more than your own. Wasn’t it?
“You’d do it for me. It’s what family does for each other.”
Chapter Ten
Caden
I sounded miserable even to my own ears. Dad just shook his head at me, disappointment coloring his features as he climbed out, waiting for me when he reached the top of the stairs. I followed him slowly, each step one closer to breaking the hearts of the two men who owned mine.
Mace strode out of the house, meeting Dad at the top of the stairs, but he barely paused before taking the small flight in two bounds and coming to me. “No,” he whispered when he got closer. “Please don’t do this.” He tried to wrap his arm around me, but basking in the love he was only too willing to give would make what I had to do impossible.
I shook my head and moved away from him, trying to keep him at arm’s length as I steeled myself and walked up the stairs, only to meet Rick’s gaze head-on. I had to look away; it eviscerated me seeing the devastation clouding his features. A storm was brewing in his eyes, and all I could do was pray I had the strength to walk away when it came to the crunch. It was the last thing I wanted, but I had to put my family first.
I watched as Dad clapped Rick on the shoulder and walked inside. When I passed Rick on the stairs, he wouldn’t look at me. I deserved it, but it s
till tied me in knots knowing I was going to hurt him as badly as it was hurting me.
Dad went straight to Gracie and picked her up, holding her close to his face and talking to her with a smile tilting his lips. It was effortless for him; he knew exactly what to do with her.
I smiled at her and kissed her mostly bald head. “Hey, baby girl. I’m back.”
He smiled sadly at me. “You should refer to yourself as Daddy or whatever you want her to call you. That way she makes the connection early and will start to call you that. It’s one of the proudest moments in your life to hear your baby say your name for the first time. I’ll never forget the first time you called me Dada.”
Dad smiled at me, and once the other men walked inside, he motioned to the table. We sat as he laid Gracie on her blanket under the hanging mobile so she could play with the toys. “I’m calling a family meeting to discuss this situation.”
“Sir—” Mace started.
Dad held up his hand and cut him off. “My father was Sir, and I hated calling the miserable bastard that. It’s Gabe, please. I think we’ve met before. You’re Mason, right?” After introducing himself to Rick, Dad got right to the point. “Caden came to see me this morning. He told me the three of you have started seeing each other. He also hinted that you’ve asked him and Gracie to move to Queenstown with you both. He’s worried about leaving me here alone, probably picturing me dying a lonely old man. Am I right?” When I nodded, he shook his head and huffed, clearly exasperated with me. “Caden, what are you going to do if you stay in the US? And where in the country are you thinking of living?”
I shrugged, not looking up. “Here, I suppose. You’ve got your boat, so being near the water is kind of important to you. I figure I’ll pick up whatever work I can find.”
“And where will you live?” he prodded. I shook my head and raised my shoulders again. I had no idea. “Right. And Rick, Mace, what exactly were you boys suggesting to my son?”
“I’ve got a decent-sized house. He and Gracie could each have a bedroom, and Mace and I could take the other two. I want to be in a relationship, but I’m not going to pressure Caden into it, and I don’t want him to think my offer is conditional on us being together. I just want to be a part of Gracie’s life growing up.”
Mace chipped in then, and I knew I was going to go to hell for doing what I had to do. “I offered to watch Gracie while Caden works. I’m retired, so I don’t have any work commitments. I didn’t want to get paid for it, I just wanted to help too.”
“What are your intentions with my son?” Dad asked with a straight face, but I wasn’t sure how. It was the most un-Dad-like thing I’d ever heard him say. When I started protesting, telling him he didn’t need to know that, he shushed me with an annoyed glance and motioned for them to explain.
Rick didn’t hesitate. “Long term, I want the three of us as partners and Gracie as our daughter.”
Dad smiled. “Good answer. Okay, Caden, you need to make up your own mind on this, but I’ll tell you something, and you need to listen and listen hard. You cannot live for everyone else. If you’re sad and lonely, Gracie will suffer too. Be happy and she will be too. It’s not enough to survive, you should thrive. It’s what you deserve. You three also need to be honest with each other. I didn’t tell Annalise how much I loved her before she went in to have Gracie, and now I’ll never get the chance. Don’t make my mistake. Life is far too short for that.” Dad stood and busied himself, moving around some of the papers on the table to clear a space. “Caden, I need to borrow your tablet for a while, and I work better when it’s quiet, so if you three could make yourselves scarce—perhaps talk things out in another room—that’d be great.”
I was being dismissed, with no idea what was going on.
“I thought we were having a family meeting? Or was that it, because our family meetings used to include a hell of a lot more discussion rather than you giving me some advice that still doesn’t change anything for me.”
“I’m happy to talk it out when you’re not being so shortsighted. Until then, scoot. I need to look up how to immigrate to New Zealand.”
“What?” I asked, confused. What is he talking about?
“Well, if I move with you so I don’t die a miserable, old, lonely man, will you go to Queenstown with Mason and Rick?”
It was like a lighthouse’s candle switched on, illuminating the rocky path in a brilliant white light. Never in a million years did I think Dad would even consider leaving the US.
“Stop looking at me like I’ve grown two heads,” he chastised, then, becoming more serious, added, “Maybe it’s time we both had a change of scenery. Your mom and sister would understand. We don’t need to visit the places we scattered their ashes to be with them—we carry them in our hearts. If my coming with you will give you a lifetime of happiness anything close to what your mother and I shared, how can I deny my son and his daughter that?” He grasped my arms and implored, “If you were in my position, would you do it for Gracie?” When I nodded, he smiled. “Then you understand when I say I need to do it for both of you. It’s my privilege as a doting grampy.”
I stood from the chair slowly and stepped into his arms, hugging him hard. The only words that formed, that I could force out from my tight throat, were “I love you.”
“Tell those boys you love them too, Caden. Tell them every chance you get.” He clapped me on the back a couple of times and stepped away, waving us off when he spotted my tablet lying half under a pile of junk mail.
I think I was in shock. My mind usually went a million miles a minute, but it’d come to a screeching halt and was utterly blank. Nothing, no words formed. I stood there frozen in a daze like I was disconnected from my body.
“Gabe, thank you. It means the world that you’d consider doing this for us.” Mace wrapped an arm around me and I melted into his side. His warmth injected life into me again like he and Rick had always managed to do.
Rick was at my other side but didn’t reach for me. Instead, he held his hand out to Dad, pulling him into a hug and kissing both his cheeks. “This is what we do in my family. Thank you for including Mason and me in yours.” When he focused his attention on me, the remnants of that moment of frozen shock were wiped away. “Let’s go talk privately. I think we have much to say.” Taking me by the hand, Rick guided us into the bedroom and went to close the door.
“I need a shower,” I blurted out. “I went for a run. I… I probably stink.” Apparently, my brain had reengaged in stupid mode. I closed my eyes and shook my head, giving myself a mental slap. The others laughed and wrapped me up tight.
Rick spoke, his voice husky. “We can shower, but first I need to know—”
“I lied to you guys,” Mace interrupted. Rick went still in my arms, and I must’ve had a bruising grip on Mace because he grasped my hand and put a little distance between us. “I told you the other day that I was falling for you, but that’s not true.” Mace paused and took a deep breath while my insides went into free fall like I’d been thrown out of a plane. “I’m already there. I’m in love with both of you.”
He blew out his breath and visibly braced himself for our reactions. I didn’t think, just moved, throwing myself against him and practically climbing him like a tree. Rick wrapped his arms around me from behind and held tight.
“Me too. I love you too, Mace.” I kissed him again before turning and brushing my lips over Rick’s. “I love you too, Rick. Both of you. I didn’t want to hurt you. It was killing me, but I couldn’t leave Dad alone. He’s lost so much too. I couldn’t do it to him.”
“We need to communicate more. For three pretty smart dudes, we’re hopeless at it,” Mace chuckled.
“Promise me you’re all in, Caden, that you’ll work on us.” Rick’s voice was quiet, full of pleading, and I couldn’t resist him. I didn’t even want to try. “I love you both too much to lose you.” My heart skidded to a stop again and then sped up, doing triple backflips and spins midair like I used to
do on the slopes.
“I’m in. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything else before.” I motioned between us. “I want us to be a family.”
“Let’s go take a shower. I wanna get all dirty with you.” I laughed at Mace’s comment while Rick let out a sound halfway between a growl and a moan. I couldn’t wait to hear what other sounds we could get him to make.
We dashed up the corridor, probably sounding like a herd of elephants, but I was riding a high, my heart light for the first time in over a year. Joy filtered through me. Hope buoyed me. Love wrapped around me like a warm blanket.
Between them, I was invincible.
The shower was far too small for three grown men to fit into, so we took it in turns. Ten of the longest minutes later, I’d watched Mace and Rick run soapy hands over themselves, teasing the ever-loving fuck out of me. It was sweet revenge watching their nostrils flare and Rick lick his lips as my fingers circled around the base of my cock and I stroked myself while the hot water cascaded over my shoulders. Mace’s pupils were blown, lust hardening his already solid body.
Empowered, desired, emboldened, I switched positions and stuck my ass out, rubbing my soaped-up fingers along my crease and down to my hole. Spreading my cheeks so they could see what I was doing, I dipped my fingertip inside, clenching my pucker tight around it. My cock was leaking, my channel throbbing with an emptiness that needed to be filled. Fuck, I’d just about kill to get inside either one of them, but I was going to have the time of my life being a needy bottom to those two.
I couldn’t wait any longer. After rinsing all the soap off, I turned the faucet off, grabbed a towel and dried myself in quick, uncaring swipes. My only priority at that moment was getting my men horizontal, preferably in a position that I could have both of them.
Rick laughed, the sound coming out raspy and strained. “Looks like our man has made a decision.”