by Katie Ashley
The crowd parted like the sea as I peered at the role of Maria. I ran my fingers across to the name. Cassie Christenson.
Exhilaration rocketed through my body, sending me gasping for breath. Then I remembered not only myself, but Lauren. The nausea built up to where I no longer felt excited. I’d let the monster of pride rule me, and I’d snatched the lead away from my assignment—well, the girl who was supposed to be my assignment, but who was now one of my assignments.
Sheesh.
As the crowd jostled me away from the cast list, I bumped into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry—”
It was Zach.
“Good morning.”
He grinned. “Good morning and congratulations. I hear you are the newest star of Harrison’s stage.”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Lauren told me.”
I stiffened before stealing a glance back at the cast list. My eyes honed in on the part of Anita, the second lead in the show. Then my heart sank. Lauren had been good, and if it hadn’t been for me, she would’ve gotten the lead. “Oh, she’s playing Anita?”
Zach nodded.
“Did she seem happy about it?”
Zach’s smile faltered a bit. “Well, uh, it’s hard to say with Lauren. I mean, she doesn’t get excited over much anymore.”
“I see,” I murmured.
“Come on, let’s get to class,” Zach suggested.
I started down the hall with him and then skidded to a halt. A crystal clear picture formed in my mind of what I needed to do. For once, I would right one of my wrongs. I would march myself down to Mr. Conley’s office and refuse the part of Maria. I would claim stage fright, failing grades, a tough work schedule—anything that would make him see the error of his ways and get Lauren put in my place. Yep, that was the thing to do. One positive step towards no longer being a guardian angel screw up.
“What is it?” Zach asked.
“Uh, I…” I struggled to find an excuse that wouldn’t leave Zach suspicious. Finally, I found one. “I need to pick up my script from Mr. Conley. Could you wait here just a second?”
“Sure.”
I hurried through the auditorium door. It was pitch black inside, and I found it hard to make my way back to Mr. Conley’s office behind the stage. I stumbled a few times and finally tripped over a few boxes before I reached his office. I turned the doorknob to find it was locked. “Great,” I muttered.
At the sound of someone behind me, I whirled around. My breath caught in my throat.
It was Lucius.
Even through his dark aura, the amber glow of his demon side gave off enough light that I was able to see him in the blackness. “Hello again, Cassie,” he said, his voice laced with a mixture of sarcasm and intrigue.
Anger, destructive and dangerous, surged through me. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but you better leave Zach alone!” I hissed.
Lucius chuckled. “Or what? You’ll break out and go toe to toe with me? Seriously, you’ve been a guardian like what a millisecond? You can’t do anything.”
“That isn’t true!” I protested. The way he was talking to me began to grate on my nerves, and I knew I was dangerously close to losing control of my emotions.
Lucius shook his head slowly from side to side. “Man, the Dominion must be scraping rock bottom if they’ve sent you.” When I didn’t respond, he continued on. “Looks to me like they’re hurting pretty bad. I mean, they’ve got Elijah—dear, sweet Elijah, protecting an uber-hottie, and then they send you to protect Zach.”
Before I could stop myself, I blurted, “He wasn’t meant for me, for your information—he and his family were for one of the archangels. I just happened to have intercepted his pain by mistake!”
Regret danced from my head to my toes. Me and my big fat mouth. I didn’t need to volunteer information to Lucius, especially not about misinterpreting Zach’s pain. By the look of amusement on his face, I knew how big a mistake it was.
“Ah, so the Dominion is slipping in its management duties, and poor, lost souls might fall through the cracks. Tsk, tsk, tsk, doesn’t leave one with a lot of faith, does it, Cassie?”
“As a matter of fact it does. I do believe I won the other night!”
“You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over. You know, the stakes are a lot higher for demons to win souls, not to mention the consequences for failing. Do you angels actually get tormented when you screw up? No, I don’t think so.”
“For your information, we can lose our wings and even be demoted out of the Angelic Host!” I snapped.
Lucius snorted. “Ooh, how terrible. Doesn’t sound exactly painful to me, and until you’ve experienced the torment of the Dark Host, you don’t know what true Hell is.” He shook his head. “But see, that’s really not my problem. That’s just for the unfortunate ones below me. I’ve made a name for myself, and I’m fully ready to rise through the ranks to absolute power. And that means, I’m not supposed to be intimidated by the likes of you.” He started walking closer to me. I backed up until I bumped against the door of Mr. Conley’s office.
“What about me?” I questioned. The way he looked at me caused my emotions to turn like a light switch from anger over to fear.
Lucius leaned over and took a strand of my long hair in his hand. “You? Why you’re a beautiful little newbie just ripe for corruption.”
“Don’t you touch me!” I slapped his hand away, the touch of his skin causing my hand to burn. As he continued smirking at me, I shook my head. “You’re wrong. I could never be corrupted.”
He sized me up and down, and a wicked smile curled at his lips. “You know, I’m not sure what’s crueler. Me urging Zach to jump, or a beauty like you trying to save him. Tell me, Cassie, how long do you think Zach’s going to like ‘the look but don’t touch’ mentality you’ve got going on?”
“He doesn’t like me like that,” I protested.
Lucius raised one dark eyebrow. “Oh, he doesn’t?”
“No, he knows I’m somebody he can talk to and confide in. He was searching for something that night on the bridge, and I’m helping him find it.”
Lucius snickered. “Oh yeah, I can imagine you’re just what he’s searching for. And meanwhile, what about dear, sweet Lauren? How is she going to feel that the one trying to dry her tears is the very one who is inflicting most of them?”
My fear evaporated into white hot anger. I knew it was too dangerous to break out of my guardian angel form to challenge Lucius. Someone could see us, and it would ruin everything. Then an idea popped in my mind—one that was kind of naughty and completely unangelic. I fought it at first before slowly giving in.
I mustered my courage and jerked my chin upward. “So, Lucius, are demons in human form just like angels?”
“Oh yes, we feel everything just the same.”
“You do?”
His breath was hot on my neck. “Yes.”
“Then I hope you feel all of this!” I exclaimed, before jerking my knee between his legs. As he moaned in agony, I shot past him. I was almost to the backdoor when I was violently yanked back. His fingers seared into my shoulder, causing me to cry out.
“Now that wasn’t a nice thing for a guardian to do now, was it?” he breathed into my ear.
Oh no, this wasn’t good. I was going to have to do something big if I was going to escape Lucius. Suddenly, I heard someone behind us.
“Let her go!”
Lucius whirled us around to see Zach standing at the edge of the stage. He loosened his grip on me a little.
Zach raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t you hear me?”
He smirked at Zach before shoving me towards him. Zach pulled me behind him and stepped towards Lucius. “Don’t you ever let me catch you putting your hands on her again!”
“Or what?” Lucius countered.
“Don’t tempt me,” Zach growled.
“You’ve really got to learn to control your temper, Zach. I mean, just look at
that bruise on your face. Fighting never solves anything.”
Zach’s eyes widened, and he lunged for Lucius. I quickly grabbed him back. “No, he’s not worth it!”
“Better listen to the little lady, Zach,” Lucius said. He gave us one last smoldering look of hatred before he turned and slipped out the side door of the auditorium.
I could feel the anger pulsing through Zach. I put my hands on his shoulders and silently concentrated on calming him. Slowly, peace began washing over him, and his tension faded.
He shook his head and gazed down at the floor. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”
“It’s okay. I mean, thanks for coming in here and breaking that up. I don’t know what his problem is.”
“I was glad to do it.”
We stood in an awkward silence before Zach motioned me. “Come on. We better go or we’re going to be late.”
“Are you all right?”
Zach hesitated. “It’s just…” he jerked his head towards the door. “He scares me.”
“Because of what he might have done to me?”
Zach sighed. “I don’t like how I reacted back there. I mean, when I saw his hands on you, I thought I was going to explode. Then when he said what he did about my face…” He shuddered. “I could have killed him.”
“You don’t need to beat yourself up. That was a normal reaction to have to a jerk like him.”
“But I’m afraid of reacting like that. When I fly off the handle, how does it make me any different than Bruce?”
Even though I knew about Bruce, I feigned surprise by raising my eyebrows. “Who is Bruce?”
“He’s my step-father, and he’s…a monster.” Zach then preceded to fill me about Bruce’s drinking problem, how his mom was afraid to leave him because of how violent he was, how AJ refused to come around anymore because he was so angry his mother wouldn’t leave Bruce—all the things I would’ve needed to know had I not already known it by being connected with his pain. Finally, he admitted his worst fear.
“I’m just afraid I’m going to go off like Bruce, and how do I know I won’t do it with someone I love?”
I shook my head. “Because you won’t.”
“How do you know?”
The pleading look in Zach’s eyes broke my heart. In an instant, I grabbed his hand into my own. “Because I see you, and you’re not that type of person. You’re a caring and giving individual. You wear the battle wounds of protector, not an inflictor.” I stroked his hand. “Believe me when I say this. You are not Bruce.”
Zach stared into my eyes. “I hope not.”
His hand squeezed mine before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. The moment his lips touched my skin, Lucius’s words reverberated in my head. Did Zach think of me differently than I thought of him? If he did, it meant nothing but trouble for me, especially when it came to Lauren.
Before I could say anything, Zach offered me his hand. “Ready to go?”
“I guess so,” I replied.
As we started out the auditorium, I realized Zach still had my hand in his, and he held it firmly until we got to class
Chapter Twelve: CASSIE
That afternoon was the first day of rehearsals. Mr. Conley called the cast out onto the stage. “I just want to say congratulations to everyone who obtained a part in what I firmly believe is going to be Harrison’s best musical so far!”
Applause erupted from everyone along with a few whistles. Mr. Conley held up his hands, motioning for everyone to calm down. “Here’s what I want us to do today. I’d like to do a few read throughs of the script to get you used to your lines. So I want to break you into partners or groups based on your characters. So, I’d like Tony and Riff to work together and Maria and Anita…”
I didn’t hear anything else Mr. Conley said. Dread knotted in my stomach. It was time to face the music, literally, by talking to Lauren.
After picking up my script, I headed over to where she was standing talking to some other girls. At the sight of me, she rolled her eyes and walked away from the others. “So, where do you wanna work?” I asked.
“Over there,” she mumbled, motioning to an empty corner. I nodded and followed her.
While the others around us ran through the script, Lauren and I sat quietly reading ours. I picked my head up and gazed over at her. After a few seconds of me staring at her, she sighed in exasperation. “What do you want?”
I nibbled on my bottom lip, unable to speak for a moment. “I, uh, I just wanted to say that I’m really excited to be working with you. I mean, your voice is phenomenal.”
Lauren folded her arms across her chest. “Just not phenomenal enough for the lead, huh?”
I cringed. Why had I let my pride rule me at the stupid audition? Couldn’t I have just been average? Nope, of course not. I had to blow the auditorium away with my angelic pipes.
“Look, I’m really sorry about getting the part of Maria. I can tell it was something you really wanted.”
Narrowing her dark eyes, she leaned closer to me. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“But I’d like to.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I’m new here, and I don’t know a lot of people. I just thought we might have something in common, you know, with the musical.”
“We have more in common than you think.” When I continued to stare blankly at her, she sighed in exasperation. “Don’t give me that innocent look! We both know that you went to the coffeehouse with Zach the other night.”
My hands flew up in mock surrender. “As friends, just as friends. There’s nothing going on between Zach and me.”
“Yeah, right.”
Before I could protest anymore, Mr. Conley came over to check on us. “How are we doing ladies?”
Lauren flashed him a megawatt smile. “Just fine, sir.”
I nodded in agreement.
“Great, fabulous!”
He walked to check on the next group, and Lauren didn’t say another word to me the rest of the afternoon. When he dismissed us promptly at five-thirty, she gathered up her things and stalked off.
Inwardly, I groaned. Defending Zach from Bruce and keeping him from jumping off a forty-foot bridge seemed to pale in comparison to what I faced with Lauren. And I couldn’t imagine how things were ever going to change.
***
The next afternoon, Mr. Conley wanted us to perform the scenes we had worked on the day before. First, he wanted the actors playing Tony and Riff’s to do their opening scene together, and then Maria and Anita aka Lauren and I would be up. Backstage was absolute chaos when Mr. Conley poked his head behind the curtain. “Cassie?” he asked, as he took his glasses off his nose and rubbed his eyes.
“Yes, sir.”
“Can you please find Lauren and tell her to be waiting for me to call you guys?”
I nodded. “I sure will.”
“Fabulous,” he muttered.
Craning my neck, I looked for Lauren through the crowd, but I didn’t see her anywhere. I turned to a guy playing one of the Jets. “Jason, have you seen Lauren?”
He glanced up from his script. “I think I might’ve seen her going to the bathroom.”
“Okay, thanks.” I headed back to the girls’ bathroom back behind the stage. Well, if you wanted to call it a bathroom since it was basically a tiny closet with a toilet.
The moment I opened the door I saw someone bent over the bowl, throwing up. “Lauren?”
Her head jerked up as her hand swiped across her mouth. “Don’t you knock?” she demanded.
“Um, I’m sorry. But, uh, Mr. Conley wanted us out on stage, so I came to find you.”
She brushed past me to go to the sink.
“Are you okay? Should I tell Mr. C that we need to go later on?”
Lauren snorted before rinsing her mouth out. “No, we don’t need more time. I’m fine.”
“But you’re sick. You should probably take it easy for a little bit.”
She whirled around to face me. “Seriously, what is your problem?”
My brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have a problem. I’m just worried about you.”
“Don’t you get it? I’m not sick—I don’t have the stomach flu or anything else like that! I just get a little nervous before going on stage.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she tried to sweep past me too quickly, pushing me out of her way. When her hand swept over my shoulder, I connected with her pain for the first time. Flickering images formed in my mind of a heavier Lauren in the bathroom, crying. The pain in her throat as she stuck a toothbrush past her tongue to make herself throw up. The images sped up, showing Lauren leaning over the toilets of various bathrooms. She dropped her hand when I didn’t budge, and the images stopped. But the importance of what I’d just seen finally hit me, and I knew why The Host had sent me to her.
“You were making yourself throw up?” I asked, in a hushed whisper.
At those words, she stumbled back, a shocked expression painting her face. But, in a split second, she went from surprise to angry. “What the hell would make you say something like that? Do you always accuse random people of making themselves puke?”
“I, uh, no. It’s just—”
“It’s just nothing, okay? Everything’s fine.” She stared at me, arms crossed, telling me with her body language that she wouldn’t say anything else. I nodded, and she smiled. “Good. Now, let’s go out there before Mr. C sends out a full on search party.”
And with that, she stormed past me and out the door. I stayed rooted to the floor, trying to process what had just occurred. The words “eating disorder” flashed in my mind. Of course, in the last year I was a guardian, I’d been in third world countries where eating disorders would have been laughed at. People were desperate for food; they would have never thought of forsaking it.
Slowly, I walked back out to the stage. Lauren stood with her script in hand, acting like nothing had happened. On the outside, she appeared to have everything together—she was a talented and gifted singer and actress. But it was the inside that was such a mess.