By Ursula Lovelace
Text Copyrighted 2017 Ursula Lovelace
All Rights Reserved
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Disclaimer
All events, names, places and people in this work are fictional. Any similarity to real people, names, places, or events is unintended. All characters are of an adult age.
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1
For someone who had been acting for years, I wasn’t exactly leading man material. I never had the square jaw or broad shoulders needed for the part. I didn’t have that innate charisma directors were looking for. I would never become the next action hero with my physique. Needless to say, I was lucky to land the role of an extra with lines.
It’s a shame, really, since acting was my passion. I was never good at sports like the other boys. I joined the drama and musical groups during high school. I even served as president of the Glee Club for a couple of years. That along with my feminine looks made me the butt of countless jokes.
Regardless, I had achieved my dream of becoming a professional actor. Well, I had to work odd jobs to make rent and buy groceries. I was lucky enough to get work as an actor. It didn’t pay much but it was something. However, none of the roles were fulfilling.
I’d often get rejected by casting directors before an actual audition. They probably looked at my photo and saw that I wasn’t the male lead they were looking for. Or they thought someone had mixed up the folder of actress photos with that of the male actors. They looked at the photo of ‘Casey Harris’ and wondered what he was doing with the other men.
The harsh reality was that I just didn’t look the part for the roles I auditioned for. People always said I was a talented actor. However, directors and casting agencies took one glance at me and looked somewhere else for the role.
It wasn’t enough to be a skilled actor who could slip into any role like a chameleon. You needed a certain look and stage presence to succeed. Even the least talented actor had that over me.
It was hard facing this kind of rejection over and over again. If they had critiqued my acting, then I could practice and workshop until I improved. I couldn’t easily fix how I looked. I just didn’t have that intangible thing directors were looking for.
Nonetheless, I counted myself out as lucky for even landing side roles. Most men weren’t able to find work at all in this business. They worked more odd jobs than I did. Of course, I didn’t come to Hollywood to dog sit all day.
I wondered what I could do to change my appearance. No amount of plastic surgery could fix my rounded face, high cheekbones, and slight build. I had taken more from my mother’s side of the family than I would’ve liked. I even sounded like my mother.
I had a naturally high pitched voice. I actually had to actively lower it so I sounded like most men. Thankfully, it was a good asset to have in this industry. While I may not have been leading man material, people liked my natural voice.
I found more work on the radio than I did in front of the camera. My girlish voice was pleasant enough to listen to. I got job offers to do voiceovers for radio ads or even jockey for a day. I wasn’t so keen on the idea at first but it was enjoyable enough. More importantly, it helped pay the bills.
I just wished for more serious work in front of a camera.
I wanted to work as a lead in a real Hollywood production rather than as an unnamed extra in some low-brow sitcom. I had some stage experience under my belt but nothing much had come off of it. I needed my big break.
Through my radio work, I heard about an audition for a Hollywood Drama called ‘Winter Rain.’ It was supposed to be a low-key art house film. Through my contacts, however, I had heard rumors that it was just a tentative title. Some movies did that to get avoid price gouging with contractors. More importantly, it would be written and directed by legendary filmmaker Gerald Blanc.
That caught my attention.
Gerald Blanc was my absolute favorite director of all time. He was hands-on with all of his films. He did everything from editing to casting. The man was an absolute perfectionist. The director had won countless awards from film festivals in Europe and Asia. He had even won a few Oscars to boot.
The man was also infamous for his perfectionism. He wasn’t afraid to recast a superstar actress if she wasn’t living up to his standards. He would take days just shooting one scene to get it just right. While the producers balked at his controlling nature, they couldn’t deny the critical and commercial success of his films.
Normally, I wouldn’t even consider auditioning for the role despite my worship of Blanc. This role was way out of my league. However, the rumors had it that Gerald would be involved in the casting sessions. He was looking for the right actors for ‘Winter Rain.’ If I was lucky, then I could meet with my idol in person. If nothing else, the chance to just see him would be worth the humiliation of being rejected.
The audition for ‘Winter Rain’ was being held in a small theatre in North California. It was far away from the usual casting agencies in Los Angeles. I preferred leaving the noisy city for the quieter north.
I managed to land a spot in the auditions. It helped that the casting was low-key. It was believed that Gerald Blanc wanted to go for a few unknowns before casting a wider net. In particular, he was looking for a newcomer for the female lead in the movie.
“What’s a guy like him doing here?” another auditioning actor asked, his voice well above a whisper. His tone dripped with smugness. “The ladies audition is down the hall.”
The other man next to him snorted. “I don’t even know why the casting company even lets them in. He must have a good agent.”
It was hard to ignore their barbs. I was lucky that my radio connections got me through the front door. Otherwise, I would’ve been shown the door. The role asked for a man who was commanding and brave. The male lead was a love interest named Jake. It wasn’t much to work with but the demo script gave me more material.
I knew I wasn’t the type of actor they were looking for. People didn’t go to the movies to see a scrawny guy like me. I was more likely to be an unnamed extra in the background. At the very least, I could see Gerald in person. I recalled the description for the role.
The blurb that I read for the part told me that the story centered on the female character. Jake, the male lead role, was her love interest. It was a secondary role but more substantial than the stuff I was getting. Nevertheless, I knew landing the role was a long shot.
I didn’t have to wait long to be disappointed.
A woman stepped out of a room and called out my name. “Casey Harris?”
Sitting alongside a dozen other hopeful actors, I looked up. “Yes?”
She gestured for me to talk with her privately in her office. I could already tell from the look on her face that she had bad news. “Casey, thank you for coming here. I know the trip must not have been easy. Unfortunately, we’re going into a different direction for the role of Jake. I wish you had known beforehand.”
Great, I couldn’t even get into a room for an audition. I forced a grin and said. “If there’s another role…”
&
nbsp; She shook her head and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Perhaps, this for the best. If you made it past this round, then you would go on to meet with the director for the next trial. As you might have heard from the rumors, Gerald Blanc is the director of this movie. He’s demanding on and off set. Even an audition with him can be brutal.”
The woman’s words sunk into me. Maybe she was right. There was no need for me to bear such humiliation to get a glimpse of my idol. Gerald was known to be acid-tongued. He cared more about his movie than the feelings of his actors. I admired the man but auditioning for him would be a living nightmare.
It was no secret that Gerald Blanc had veto power over all aspects of production. No one could challenge him. Perhaps, not getting to the second phase of the audition was a blessing in disguise.
She continued on. “I’ll let you know if something opens up. Of course, I’d love it if you sent people my way as well.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Your way?”
She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “We’re looking for an unknown talent to star as the female lead, Sarah. It’s a difficult role but let us know if you know if your female friends are interested. Gerald is even sitting down for the auditions. It doesn’t matter if they’re experienced or not as long as they have what we’re looking for.”
Now that was interesting. “He’s interviewing newbie actresses?”
The woman nodded. “Yes, he wants the role to be cast perfectly. More importantly, he doesn’t want a well-known actress for the role. It’ll overshadow the role of Sarah. The fame of the actress shouldn’t be more important than her performance.”
An actress could waltz right in and have a meeting with Gerald Blanc himself. I couldn’t help but be envious. “I see…”
“Gerald will oversee the auditions in person. Let us know if you have a female friend who is interested. It’s a challenging role but it’ll make her career!”
As I left, a tall, handsome actor entered the room for his audition. I would’ve been jealous but my thoughts were on the female lead. They were looking high and low for her actress. It seemed like the Great Scarlet O’Hara search for ‘Gone with the Wind.’ Whoever caught their eye would have an easier time getting through the door than a guy like me.
Chapter 2
Later that week, I heard that someone named Tom Mullin, an up-and-coming actor in LA, got the part I was auditioning for. He was tall and handsome as they came. The man was practically a shoe-in for the role of Jake.
It helped that he was Hollywood royalty. His father was a screenplay writer and his mother was a producer. While they weren’t involved with ‘Winter Rain,’ it didn’t take a genius to know that he had a leg up in getting a valuable role. However, it felt too petty to think that way.
The fact that Tom had gotten it so quickly meant that Gerald must have liked his performance. There was no way the actor got the role on his connections alone. At least that was what I told myself. It was better than believing he got the role on his masculine looks alone.
At home, I moped around over my failure. To distract myself, I went over the demo script I had from my halted audition. It much more productive than engaging in self-pity.
I read the lines of every role in the script. It was a typical exercise when I was practicing lines. However, I found Sarah’s lines to be easier to recite than that of the male lead. It just flowed out of me so naturally.
The role of Sarah intrigued. It was a complex, demanding role that dwarfed most of the work I received. Her actress was out there somewhere and Gerald just had to find her. She would have to be someone special to bring the character to life.
Suddenly, a beer can appeared on the table next to me before someone opened it.
I looked up and saw my sister opening a beer can of her own. “Lighten up, Casey. You’ll get it next time.”
“There won’t be a next time, Amelia,” I groaned, sipping the beer. “This wasn’t just any movie. It was a Gerald Blanc film. I didn’t even get a chance to go to the next round and see him in person. That’s how big of a loser I was!”
“That pretentious European guy?” Amelia teased to my chagrin. We lived together with her working as a paralegal at a nearby law firm. We got along well enough and it beat trying to pay the rent on my own. “Forget it, Casey. You’d be miserable being bossed around him for the next two years. Count yourself lucky.”
I sighed. “I guess I’m back to dog sitting until I get real work.”
“There’s a few ads for models,” she suggested. “I suppose you might consider auditioning for the lingerie modeling gig. You got the build and the curves for it. And those cheekbones are to die for.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s what every casting director thinks. They even asked if I knew any real actresses for the role.”
Amelia leaned forward in interest. “I imagine it’ll be a fight to the death for the female lead. I best some famous Oscar winning actress wins it.”
“No, they’re looking for a newcomer with little experience for the Sarah role,” I said shaking my head. The role of Sarah had come so naturally to me. “I wish I was a woman and could audition for the role. I wouldn’t even need to be famous. I’d be able to finally meet Gerald…”
My sister paused for a moment before speaking. “Well, then be that actress. Audition for that role.”
“Huh?” I replied, getting caught off guard by her statement. “What do mean by auditioning for the role? You mean the female lead?”
Amelia was dead serious. “You got the look for it. If you want to see that famous director, then audition for the female lead. You said it yourself, it’s the easiest way.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You said it yourself,” she continued. “They’re looking for a fresh face. You don’t need experience or a fancy agency representing you. Besides, I’ve heard you recite the lines. It’s second nature to you. It’ll land you at the table with Gerald Blanc for a private audition.”
Even if the idea was crazy, her logic was sound. “How am I supposed to do that when I’m a man? Dress up as a woman?”
My sister grinned with her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Yes! I have everything you need to be the belle of the ball.”
“What if I get caught?” I asked. The consequences of getting caught cross-dressing during an audition would be severe. “I could be ostracized from the acting community. That’s assuming they don’t press charges against me for falsifying information.”
“You already get mistaken for a girl,” Amelia laughed. “Look, you already know this role by heart. You’re a shut-in for the role. Don’t you want to meet your idol? This is the quickest way to him.”
I took a moment to digest her plan. I wasn’t interested in the role so much as I wanted to be face to face with Gerald. It was an unorthodox way of getting there.
The other choice was to stay as an underachieving actor for the rest of my life. I would spend more days doing odd jobs than doing actual auditions. The decision was easier than what I had expected. “If it gets me in a room with Gerald Blanc…”
My sister smiled. “It will. You just need a makeover to win the audition.”
Over the next day, Amelia and I went to work on our disguise. It wasn’t enough to put a wig and dress on me. I had to dip into every bit of my acting ability and become a new person. I came up with name of Casey Holloway for my new persona. Holloway was our mother’s maiden name. It helped that my first name worked as well for a novice actress as it did for a man.
Amelia went to work on my getup. There was a lot more to dressing as a woman than a skirt and some lipstick. Under my sister’s instruction, I waxed off any offending body hair. It wasn’t too painful since I never had much to begin with.
The more enjoyable part of my transformation was doing my hair. I had extensions attached to my hair. Then, a wig finished the look. I even grew out my natural hair to help with the extensions.
It was like preparing for a role as an actor. Th
e process was more familiar than I had initially anticipated. I had to relearn how to dress, walk, and talk.
One day, Amelia came to me with a bra.
And a pair of gel molds.
I raised an eyebrow as she stuffed the molds inside the bra. “You’re not serious…”
“Hey, you’ll stand out if your tits don’t move like the real thing,” she replied as I put on the bra. It was surprisingly comfortable. “Now shut up and put it on.”
The shook under my bra with uncanny realism. “Do you have anything smaller? This is going to look distracting.”
She giggled. “That’s what we’re going for, Casey. You’ll be the belle of the ball once I’m done with you.”
We worked on my makeup next. While lipstick and blush was easy, putting on mascara took a bit of practice. Eyeliner also had a learning curve. With time, I managed to do it without Amelia’s help.
The Trans Ultra Collection Vol 2 Page 1