“She’s no woman, she’s a child, my child and I’ll discipline her any way I see fit! Tell Gunner a visit won’t be needed. Get your ass in the car Cameron.” She goes to do her father’s bidding but I stop her with my hand on her elbow.
“Not happening,” I tell her. “Get anything of yours from the car and come with me. We’re stopping to pick up Charlee and head to the house.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she whispers to me.
“It’s the only option I’m giving you Cam, do as I say and let’s get the hell outta here.”
I pick up the parts I had dropped on the ground and remind him to be expecting a visit before I lead her to the truck. I deposit the parts in the bed of the truck and help her into the passenger side. I see tear streaks running down her face and it makes me both angry and upset on her behalf. I know what it’s like to be on the other side of your parents’ angry words and punishments.
We’re both quiet on our way back to the club, both lost in our own thoughts. Every time I go to reassure her that things will work out and be okay, the words get stuck in my throat. I don’t know her very well, and don’t know what the right and wrong thing to say in this situation would be. I don’t want to say anything wrong and take the chance of setting her tears off again. I’m more of a protector than poet with my words. I say the only thing I can think of in this moment.
“I have a shoulder right here and available for you if you need it to lean on or cry on.” She takes me at my word, undoes her seat belt and scoots over to the middle. She lays her head on my shoulder and begins to cry again. Feeling sorry for her and her situation, I take my right arm and sling it over her shoulders trying to give her some sort of comfort. Nothing else is said and we pull up to the clubhouse a short time later. Charlee is standing out front waiting for us and I didn’t even think of how it would look with my arm draped over Cameron’s shoulders.
I watch as a weird emotion takes over Charlee’s face before she schools her features and comes over to help Cameron out of the truck. She gives me a small smile as her friend leans on her for emotional and physical support. How can I explain this without looking like a fool? We’re not in a relationship and it would look odd if I tell her it wasn’t what it looked like. Gunner is standing at the door, and gives me a look letting me know I may be in for a hard time with his sister. He leads the girls inside and I’m left to unload the parts from the truck and take them into our shop. The entire time I’m putting the parts up, I’m thinking of how to make this situation better, or make it go away all together. I have a feeling I am fucked. The one thing I’ve learned about Charlee, and that’s that the girl can hold a grudge for a long time. As I turn around from the shelf I’ve been contemplating my disaster in front of I jump back because Charlee is standing right there, nose to nose and toe to toe.
“Want to explain what that was about back there, Country?” No, no I don’t, but I know that there is nowhere to run right now because she’s blocking me and I don’t know the right words to say to make this better. I hadn’t gotten that far yet.
“What was what babe? I’m confused, could you be a bit more specific,” I say stalling for more time. I’ve never had to deal with an irate and jealous woman before, so I’m baffled on how to get myself out of this mess. I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? I was only offering help to her friend after all. I don’t know, I’m so fuckin’ confused right now on what it was exactly that I did wrong.
“Don’t play coy with me Country, you know exactly what it was I’m referring to.”
“No babe, actually I don’t, care to explain to me what I did that was so wrong? Maybe then I could answer what it is exactly you’re questioning here.”
“Explain to me,” she says as she leans in to get closer, not much space was left as it was and suddenly I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic, “why my best-friend in the entire world had her head buried in your neck and your arm was around her shoulders!” Yep, that’s what I thought, she’s pissed way the hell off. I still don’t understand why what I did was a big deal, but what do I know about the workings of the female mind?
“Babe, she was upset and you weren’t there. She needed someone to comfort her through her tears.”
“That’s.” She pokes my chest, “Not.” She pokes it again. “Your.” The final poke is the hardest. “Job!” I look down at her finger where it is still pointed and dug into my chest.
“Do you mind not poking me please.”
“Ugh, answer the fucking question Country.”
“Mouth!”
“Fuck my mouth Country! Answer my damn question.” Woooeee, she’s really worked up about this. Jealousy isn’t pretty on her, and I know that’s what this is. The green-eyed monster has reared its ugly head up in my girl. Her eyes are alight in anger and I don’t like it, not when it’s directed at me anyways. It’s funny when she spars with me, but not this, never this.
“Please calm down babe, she needed a friend and someone to show her kindness.”
“You should think of other ways to do that Country!” she says as she stomps out of the garage. I have a feeling that this isn’t over with yet. That sends a sinking feeling in my stomach, I don’t want her that kind of angry with me. We leave shortly after her meltdown, Gunner has a visit to make and Charlee wants to get Cameron to the house and settled down. She says they need girl time, which works for me, I need some ‘let them be alone’ time.
Once we get home and get settled, I start thinking about my confrontation with Country, and I am feeling quite the fool right now. God, what must he be thinking of me and the way I acted? I’m so fucking embarrassed, how am I ever going to face him again? He must think I’m such a fucking kid showing off the way I did. Those weren’t the actions of someone mature and I definitely acted my age then. I also let my feelings show, and that was something I wasn’t ready to do just yet. I have a hard time finding sleep, so I get up and go out to the living room. I leave Cameron asleep, it took a while for her to calm down. She’s scared of how her father is going to react from what went down today, and to be quite honest, I’m a little nervous myself. He’s a mean hateful man. I’ve held her secret for a number of years of how life truly is for her.
He has always let it be known to me that he doesn’t care for me or my family very much. He even goes so far as to call me names under his breath. He doesn’t think I hear him, but I’ve heard him every time. ‘Biker trash’, ‘biker whore’, ‘white trash’, and the list goes on and on. I know he didn’t approve of our friendship, but I never let that deter me. My friendship with Cameron means more to me than to let some asshole’s opinion of me interfere in that. She’s like the sister I never had, ‘biologically’, but the one I always wanted and I’m keeping her. Gunner called me last night and told me that Cameron would be staying with me for the immediate future and wouldn’t be going home anytime soon. He says he’ll be bringing her belongings over later on this evening.
I hope that the three of us - Country, Cameron and myself can coexist together and our friendships stand the test of our living arrangements. Yes, I said friends, I consider Country a friend now—he’s grown on me. Doesn’t mean that I’m going to let him tell me how to talk or act, that’s something no man—or woman will ever control when it comes to me. Better he learns this now than later on when it’s too late and he can’t change me like he’ll want to. There is no changing the last fifteen years’ worth of a habit, and the way I talk is just that. An unbreakable habit, plus the way I talk doesn’t bother me one bit. Why should I care if it bothers anyone else? I live this life for myself and I take every day and treat it like the gift it is. I live my life to the fullest and enjoy every moment I walk this earth. My thoughts turn to my folks, what could’ve happened that was so bad they had to leave me behind? I need them and I’m worried about them, what if something happens to them and I never know about it, thinking they’re living their life happily when in reality—they’re in trouble, or no longer walking t
his earth.
No Charlee! You can’t think that way, I scold myself. Ma and Pops are going to be fine. They’ll come back home to us when it’s safe for them to do so. They’ll never step foot in Texas if they feel it will put Gunner, myself or the DreamCatchers MC in danger. They care more about us, their family, than they ever did about themselves. That’s what made Pops the best President in history and Ma the best old lady for him. Ma would never go against Pops in any way and will always put him and the club first, the love she has for Pops and the club outweighs her love for herself. Her family was always first, putting herself and her needs last. I haven’t always understood why she was that way, but as I’ve gotten older I understand the concept of club first. Needing to get away from these thoughts that are taking me down a road I don’t want to travel, I decide that ice cream will be a good distraction.
Getting into the freezer, I see we have a variety of ice cream thanks to Country and his sweet tooth. It drove me crazy in the store, but now I’m thankful for his inability to understand the word no. I check the cabinets and see I have everything needed for a sundae—I see the hot fudge, canned nuts, jarred cherries and I know we have some whipped cream and bananas. Score one for Charlee, upsetting thoughts zero. I chuckle to myself, and as I turn around, I jump in surprise nearly dropping my goodies when I notice Country standing behind me with a huge smile on his face. I know I’ve been busted, since just two days ago when we went to the store, I lectured him on how bad all these sweet things were affecting his body. I went on and continued telling him how it was a known fact that while sugar highs were good while eating, when your body crashes from the sweets it messes up the chemical balance in your brain. Stupid I know, but at the time, I was annoyed with him and wanted to make things harder for him to enjoy those things he wanted. I may have also informed him people like him were one of the leading causes for obesity in our country. I know alright! I know that I should’ve kept my mouth shut since it’s coming back and biting me in the ass right now.
“What’s up with all of this babe? I thought you didn’t damage that delectable body of yours with sweets?”
“Oh this? It’s nothing, really, I was making you a snack to make up for my actions earlier today at the garage.”
“Really? Wow, didn’t see that one coming, thank you. I’ll go find a movie on the television so we can watch something while I eat the snack you’re making for me. You know, to make up for your actions earlier today and all of that,” he says while smiling back at me over his shoulder.
Fuck! I really wanted that ice cream sundae, I need it for my poor bruised ego. I get his sundae made and take it to him in the living room. I wish Cameron was awake right now to play my wingman, I’m not looking forward to the conversation I know I need to have with Country to clear the air between us. I sigh out loud as I hand him his sweet treat. Needing to get this over with I walk over to the television set and turn it off. I go and sit next to him on the couch and mentally prepare myself for the words that need to be said.
“Country listen, I need to apologize for the way I talked to you earlier, not to mention the way I acted.”
“How exactly is it you think you acted?”
“Like a child,” I state matter of factly.
“No, what you acted like was a jealous girlfriend. I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong, to be honest with you it still isn’t registering what I did that was so wrong in your eyes.”
“You’re right,” I mumble under my breath, thinking if I said it, even quietly so he couldn’t hear me, I still admitted my wrongdoing.
“Listen Charlee, I realize we’re both in a unique situation here. I have to be honest with you here, I am attracted to you, but your age has me at a disadvantage here. You’re not old enough to be with me…yet. I want you with every fiber of my being, but I can also go to jail if I act on these desires. I want to make something clear to you, I want us, in the future, but I want us to take the next couple of years to get to know each other and see if we feel that this can go somewhere special, somewhere beyond friendship. If when that time comes and either of us doesn’t feel that what we have is meant for the long haul, we’ll stay friends and that way no one is put in a position of choosing when we’re comfortable around the club and when we’re not. I do need to know how you feel and where your head is at with what I just told you.”
“I want to be with you too Country, I don’t understand why we can’t see where things can go with us now? I know I’m only fifteen Country, but I’ve grown up in this life and I’m older than my years. It’s just a number, and you’re only three years older than me. I don’t want to wait, I want to be with you now.”
“We can’t Charlee girl, one it’s illegal and two, I promised Gunner I’d wait to pursue anything with you until you’re at least seventeen. I am a man of my word and I don’t plan on going against that anytime soon. A man’s word is what measures his worth Charlee, and I want to prove to everyone I’m worthy of the brotherhood and you. Can you please be patient with me Charlee girl?”
“I can Country, doesn’t mean this is going to be easy though. Does this mean we see other people while getting to know each other?” I ask him, scared of what his answer might be. I don’t want to see anyone else, and I know I can’t handle seeing him with another woman. Especially if that happens to be a club bunny, I hate those bitches with a passion.
“You really think I’d ask that of you or do that to you babe?”
“No, but I do, however, want boundaries set. I want there to be no question left unanswered, I want to make sure even though we can’t be together, we’re at least committed to each other and whatever the future may hold for us.”
“I give you my word Charlee, will that work for you?”
“Yes, I trust you, I know when you say something it’s the truth and you always follow through.”
“That I do, especially when it comes to you Charlee girl.”
“I like that,” I tell him.
“Like what exactly Charlee girl?”
“I like it when you call me Charlee girl instead of something generic like babe. Babe is so impersonal and leaves me feeling like I’m not special, Charlee girl is meant for me and me alone and it means I have a special place in your life if you’ve given me my very own nickname.”
“Then I will never call you anything that can be perceived as anything but special in your eyes and heart, Charlee girl.” I can’t help but beam in pride when he calls me that again. Yes, I think this is the beginning of something special between the two of us.
The next couple of months fly by, Charlee is back at school now so I spend my days running errands for the club and trying to help Gunner figure out what is going on with his parents. It hasn’t been easy, they’ve covered their tracks well. I hate going home and never having answers for her on whether they’re okay or not. I can’t even tell my girl her parents are safe and alive for Christ sakes! She takes it in stride, Cameron is now a permanent member of the household. I don’t know what it was that Gunner said to her father, but he signed the necessary paperwork for school and gave up his guardianship of her. She walks around looking over her shoulder, we all try to reassure her she’s safe and he can’t get a hold of her ever again. It makes me curious of what it was like for her, I’m not sure if she’ll ever get to the point where she isn’t walking on eggshells every time she leaves the house. Either myself or another Probee walks her up to her school doors when her day starts, and is always there to pick her up once the final bell of the day rings. She never leaves the school during the daytime and Gunner made sure no one can pick her up unless it’s a member of the DC’s or they have gotten word from him personally. He’s taking her safety seriously, which lets me know my imagination isn’t wrong on where it’s gone. I’m starting to understand the package she tries to present people on her life, if the outside is put together people assume the inside is just as together. Which I know from my life that isn’t always the case, when you’ve been abuse
d or neglected you learn to play a part so you’re not removed from the only place and people you’ve ever known. Even if that means things aren’t the most pleasant situation at home, sometimes the alternative is worse than that of what you know and what you’ve adapted to.
I’m not always around to pick the girls up after school, but I always call them to check and see if they’re good and if they’re in need of anything. Gunner laughs at me when three thirty on the dot hits, and my ass is behind the counter in the bar, phone in hand making that call. I know though if it wasn’t me making that phone call, he would be the one making it. Since I give him a report once I get off he is happy, and no one is the wiser to him needing that confirmation.
As soon as I get off the phone and tell Gunner all is well with his sister the phone rings.
“Clubhouse,” I answer.
“Country, I need a huge favor.”
“What’cha need Charlee girl?”
“I started my cycle and I am in desperate need of tampons—and chocolate…lots of chocolate.”
Charlee's Choices: DreamCatcher MC Page 5