by Nana Malone
“I need the truth, Alexi. I don’t want us to keep doing this. Please. Can you tell me?”
A harsh chuckle ripped out of me. “I’ve been so worried I was going to lose you when you found out, I ended up pushing you away by hiding the truth.”
“Your father didn’t run me off with what he said about you. The only reason I ran is because I couldn’t stand you lying to me, hiding things from me. Nothing you’ve done can scare me off as long as I know that you’re open with me.”
I trembled. No, it’s not true. She’ll leave, and when she does, it’ll break you. No. I wasn’t going to lose her. Not for anything.
“Mum and Dad split up when I was about three or four. She started seeing someone else a couple of years later. At first, Silas was the television dad you see. Played games with us. Took us to the park for a bit of football, that sort of thing. You’ve met my father. Even then, he wasn’t particularly warm.”
I ran a hand through my hair. I was desperate to get it all out so there wouldn’t be anything left hanging between us. “Everything changed when he asked Mum to marry him. Xan and I were ecstatic. We thought we were finally getting a real father. Someone to love us. But that’s not what we got.”
I shivered as my memories weaved into the forefront of my mind. “Mum started working more international charities and traveling more, leaving us with the nannies and Silas.” My voice broke, and I loathed the weakness that I heard in myself. “She didn’t know that he used to sneak into mine and Xan’s bedroom at night and put his hands on us. When we fought back, he beat us. Never anywhere visible. He was apparently too smart for that.”
Abbie gasped and whispered, “Oh, God.”
“We had five different nannies in the fourteen months he was with my mother, each of them too scared to help two little boys who couldn’t help themselves.”
“Alexi—”
“No, Abbie, you need to hear it all. One night, while my mother worked downstairs, he snuck into our room. Xander ran away from him, and he was going after him to make sure he didn’t find the nanny or Mum. I knew if he caught Xander, it would mean another beating. I didn’t want him to hurt us anymore. I couldn’t take it. So I ran after him. When he caught hold of Xander’s T-shirt, I only wanted to get him off my brother. I—” My voice shook. I prayed that I could stop the pain, but I had to get it all out first. “We were at the top of the stairs, and I pushed him. Hard. With everything I had, I pushed him. I wanted him dead.”
Her voice was whisper soft. “Oh, Alexi.”
“And Dad was right. Even at six, I understood that what I’d done was horrific. I understood what I was. I knew they’d send me away, but I didn’t care.” I sniffed and wiped at my nose. “But instead they sent Xander away. We told them it was an accident, that we’d heard him fall, but the way he protected me, they assumed he’d done it. He made me promise I’d never tell. He just stepped right in front of me and shielded—” My voice shook. “And I let him.”
Abbie placed both palms on my chest. “Enough, that’s enough. I don’t need to hear any more. I’m so sorry.”
I couldn’t meet her gaze. “I don’t know how you can stand to look at me. My own father can’t. I tried to talk to him then. He blamed us. We tried to make him understand, but as far as he was concerned, we’d tarnished the family name with the scandal of it all.”
“You were a child, protecting your brother. They were the adults. They were supposed to protect you. It was your mother and father’s job to protect you. None of what happened was your fault.”
“Mum didn’t know. I think after it happened, when they sent Xan to a string of therapists, she suspected, but she didn’t know the kind of man she was about to marry. She would have killed him. Dad, well, after the fact, he covered everything up. Xan was sent to boarding school, and I’m pretty sure Dad looked into Silas’s background. He was so careful, but he’d probably done something like that before.” I dragged in a shaky breath. “Xan and I never stood a chance. We’re completely fucked up.”
She placed a hand on my cheek. “Stop. You’ve grown into an incredible man who’s kind and loyal and smart. Don’t let those shadows take any of what you’ve become away from you. I will help chase them off.”
I blinked rapidly as emotion overwhelmed me. She really wasn’t running from me. I dared to hope, dared to hold on to the thread that she was mine. “You really don’t hate me?”
“No, Alexi. I’m going to keep telling you how much I love you until it finally sinks in.”
Desperation dripped from each word as I held her close. “I thought I'd lost you for good.”
She clung to me, her hands threading through my hair. “I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you.”
“I didn’t think you would still want me after what he said to you.”
“Yes.” She kissed me softly, her full lips feeling like heaven against mine. “I still want you. I've wanted you since you saved me from death by Mini Cooper. I wanted you that first time we danced. I wanted you at your party. I wanted you when you showed up on my doorstep. Even when the paparazzi were camped out on my lawn and making me miserable, I still wanted you. There is nothing your father could say to me to make me not want you. There’s nothing you can do to make me not want you. There’s nothing in your past that can scare me off.” She shivered in my arms.
I crushed her to my chest, unwilling to let her go. “Abbie, I love you. I'm not even sure when I started falling in love with you. Maybe it was Brixton. Maybe it was the first time I saw you sitting in that massive puddle drenched and trying to save your camera instead of yourself.”
“I love you.”
The glowing warmth spread from my chest and started to thaw the icicles. But I frowned. She couldn’t possibly love me if she knew what had happened. What I’d done. “Abbie, I—”
She pressed her fingers against my lips. “Shh. Did you really think that I wouldn’t love you? That it would matter to me? You were a child when it all happened, and you’ve been carrying that guilt all on your own for years when you had nothing to feel guilty for.”
She pushed the braids out of her face. Just having her close made the blood rush in my ears, and I wanted to kiss her. She licked her lips, and I bit back a moan.
As if sensing the change in me, she whispered, “Alexi.”
“Shh, let me get you out of these wet things.”
First, I slid her sodden coat off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She followed suit and toed off her wool-lined boots. Right there, I peeled off the rest of her wet clothing and carried her naked, lithe form to my bedroom.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat as I drank in every inch of her soft flesh. I knew how she tasted, how she felt in every nook of her body. I knew her heart. Knew her fears. It was the first time I'd ever let myself know anyone. Let anyone know me. And it felt liberating. And terrifying. And right. “I love you, Abena.”
She pressed her body into me, and every nerve ending howled to be inside her, to fit our bodies together and drive into her until we both found peaceful oblivion. I gently tucked her into my bed, then stripped off my clothes.
Unmistakable heat flashed in her eyes, and I couldn’t help a quick grin. Sliding in beside her, I tucked her against me so that we spooned with my hand cupping her breast.
“Lex, what—”
“I’m going to hold you, if that’s okay. You know how much I want you.” I dragged in a sharp breath. “Hell, you can feel it.” My cock twitched against the soft globes of her ass. I paused and kissed her shoulder, gritting my teeth against the onslaught of lust as the satin skin of her backside wiggled against me. “But I need to hold you more than I need to make love to you.”
She nodded and tucked her face into my arm. “I heard from my sister.”
I kissed the nape of her neck. “Hmmm?”
“She said Easton went to see my family with his new girlfriend.”
I cursed under my breath. “Jesus, that poor woman.”
“God, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. I don’t need her to believe in me. She’s my mother. I love her. But I don't have to like her or put up with her when she’s giving me bullshit.”
“I’m really proud of you.”
“Yeah well, it’s taken a long time to get here.” She nuzzled in. “Oh, he did mention that he’d seen where I’d been spending my time. And the kind of boyfriend I had who lived on a boat in squalor.”
I sniffed, indignant. “I mean, this barge has less square footage than Killian’s three thousand square feet, but I take offense at that. I suppose I need to buy you something bigger now.”
She laughed. “No thank you. This place is ridiculous, and you know it. I’m so sorry he wrecked this place. I know you don’t blame me, but I’m indirectly responsible.”
“One day, I hope you don’t believe that anymore.”
“I’m getting closer every day.”
It took me an hour before I was able to fall asleep, but I hadn’t been that at peace in longer than I could remember.
Abbie
I moaned into Lex's chest. I was awake enough to know I was having either the very best of dreams or one hell of a wakeup call. Lex kissed me as his thumb and forefinger rolled one of my nipples. Sighing into the caress, I let myself relax into his kiss. His expert tongue caressed and teased mine into playing.
God, I relished what he could do to my body. The way he made me pliant. He never rushed me, even when I wanted to hurry. He always took his time with everything, even kissing me, like we had all the time in the world. Like his erection wasn't straining.
I loved kissing him. His lips were so soft and skilled and his tongue–every time he licked into my mouth, it made me shiver. When his hand dipped between my thighs, I parted them to ease his way. Skilled fingers stroked my cleft, teasing me, driving me crazy. I arched my back trying to angle my hips into his hand.
Alexi slid a finger inside me as his thumb caressed my clit, and I cried out and sank my fingers into his hair. He grunted in satisfaction as my hips bucked, then he sucked on my tongue in time with his fingers sliding into my slick center. His heavy erection continued to press into my thigh, and I moaned. I would never get over what he could do to my body. I'd never been so carnal, so aroused, so willing to give myself completely to anyone.
With a groan, he pulled back from our kiss, and I mewled as I tried to follow his lips. His gaze scorched me. Dark and fiery, he stared at me under hooded lids. “Jesus, what are you doing to me?”
My constricted throat made it impossible to speak, so I responded the only way I knew how–by arching my hips into his hand again.
He muttered a soft curse, and squeezed his eyes shut. As his fingers strummed me to the edge of orgasm, he chewed on his bottom lip. When he increased the pace of his questing fingers, I held tight onto his shoulders. I rotated my hips around and around until he swore again and rubbed his thumb directly over my clit.
My orgasm ripped through me, laying destruction to every nerve and cell. Unable to think, I threw my head back, giving myself over fully to the sensation.
“Holy, fuck, you are so beautiful when you come.”
Still unable to speak, I dragged in ragged breaths. If I hadn’t been fully awake earlier, I certainly was now. “That was a hell of a wakeup call.”
He slowly withdrew his fingers from me. “I'm not done yet.”
I smiled up at him, expecting him to go for a condom, but instead, he burrowed under the covers. His hands parting my thighs had me tensing. “Lex, wait, I–”
He drew back the covers so he could look at me. “I should have asked you last time. Is this something you don’t like?”
Oh God, he looked so concerned and worried about me. How the hell was I supposed to tell him? Embarrassment made my skin hot and flushed. “Before you, I–I've never done it. Or rather, I guess no one has done it to me before.”
His brows snapped down “You’re kidding me, right?”
I bit my lip as I shook my head. “N-no. I, ah, Ea—uhm—no one's ever wanted to.” I turned my face into the pillow too embarrassed to continue. God, I should have just kept my mouth shut. Now he thought I was some kind of freak.
With strong fingers, he turned my chin so I was looking at him. His gaze burned hot, and the desire etched on his face was unmistakable. “Tasting you is so arousing for me. I love how you taste. But only if you’re comfortable.”
“I—uh...” Wow, he wanted to? I nodded emphatically. “Yes. I'm comfortable.”
“Oh, thank God.” His smile was lopsided. “I think I'd die if I couldn’t taste you.”
He slid back down my body, placing kisses across my chest and belly as he went. When he reached my hips, he nibbled at the flesh on my pelvic bone then scooted lower.
Dusting feather light kisses on my inner thighs, he paused when he got to my cleft. “So pretty. And so soft.” His first stroke of my slick center had me clenching my hands into the sheets. Oh God. He lapped at me, kissing me and exploring me with his tongue. He took his time like with everything else. He seemed in no hurry. When his tongue circled the throbbing bundle of nerves, I flew apart in his hands again. A little embarrassed, I tried to drag him back up my body by tugging on his hair, but he didn’t let up. He kept stroking me. Kept lapping at me.
It wasn’t until he slid a finger into my moist sheath again that I lost all my inhibitions. If he was intent on killing me with ecstasy, then who the hell was I to argue? Finally relaxing, I let my thighs fall apart and he moaned, parting my folds and dipping the tip of his finger into my center. My third orgasm rolled through me, chasing the tail of the previous one, and he didn’t let up until I lay limp.
He drew himself back up my body, pausing to nip at my hips again, then to suckle my breasts.
When he made it to my lips, he asked, “I hope you’ll let me taste you often.”
I shivered. He could do that to me any time he wanted. “God, yes. I don't even know what to say.”
“How about saying you'll let me taste you as often as I want.”
I giggled. “Be my guest.”
He shifted against my parting thighs with his, and I moaned when the tip of his erection nudged my cleft.
He squeezed his eyes shut tight as he entered me inch by inch. I met him halfway by raising my hips. His jaw stayed tight until he was seated all the way inside me. He made love to me sweetly. Kissing me, holding me to him, and looking into my eyes. “I love you Abena Nartey. I will never stop.”
In that moment, the fear fell away. This was the perfect moment I'd always looked for. This was the kind of love and acceptance I'd been looking for all my life. “I love you too. Blissful abandon started in my toes and cascaded through my body. I held onto him tight and muttered how much I loved him as the orgasm took over all my conscious and subconscious thought.
As my body held him inside me, he whispered in my ear, “I am so lucky.” With two more deep strokes, his whole body shook with release.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Abbie
I woke up parched.
When Alexi said he wasn't going to let me sleep, I thought that was a euphemism.
But I was exhausted, completely replete. And I was happy. I knew I was loved. I knew that even when something terrifying happened, I was going to be okay. I knew I was strong enough to stand on my own, but I didn't have to.
Also, I was pretty sure I couldn’t walk straight. The man could pretty much go all damn night.
I threw off the covers and winced as I throbbed between my thighs. Jesus Christ, he really hadn't taken it easy on me. But it was a good pain. The kind of sore that I was willing to feel for the rest of my life.
I reached around, looking for something to wear to stave off the chill on the boat. When I found his discarded t-shirt, I picked it up and slid it ove
r my head, relishing the soft fabric sliding over my skin.
Barefoot, I bypassed the shower where Alexi was singing to himself and then padded down the cool hardwood out to the living space. Alexi must have pulled down the blackout shades on the barge because there was no light coming into the living room. The only illumination came from the kitchen.
I let the moonlight guide me. It took me three tries looking in the cabinets to find where he kept the glasses or mugs. When I found one, I searched around for the kettle and set that on as well.
When the water boiled, I poured two cups and dropped in the tea bags, adding sugar to mine and honey to his.
There was a sound behind me in the kitchen, and I smiled to myself. "I am exhausted. I couldn't possibly do any of that again," I teased. "I mean unless you were to kiss my neck again, and when you're kissing my neck, I can pretty much be talked into anything."
"That's good to know."
I whipped around. It was not Alexi. Even with the moonlight, it was hard to see who I was looking at. "Who's there?"
A man stepped from the shadows. Not as tall as Alexi, but broader, he menacingly stalked toward me. "This is your fault. My life is ruined because of you."
I tried to back up, but I just hit the stove. "Please, don't."
As he came closer, I could see that he was older, graying at the temples, and there were some lines around his eyes. "Who are you?"
"For years, I bided my time, waited for my opportunity. And when that finally comes, my chance to shape a dynasty, he won't cooperate, the ungrateful piece of shit."
I reached my hands behind me, trying to be careful of the cook top as I tried to reach the handle of the teapot. "I don't understand."
"I have done nothing but serve this family to the best of my ability. But then you came along, and suddenly, the prince is acting reckless. He’s taking risks. He’s forgetting what we worked so hard for. All for you."
Who was this? I had no idea what he was talking about. "Do you know Alexi?"