My kiss is what kept her from having a boyfriend all these years because she couldn’t forget about it, even if she didn’t know it was me.
That makes me feel happy and devastated at the same time, happy because even if she doesn’t know who it was, I’ll always have an important spot in her heart. Devastated because knowing how much that kiss affected me, fills me with regret and a fuck-ton of ‘what ifs’ that won’t change anything anyway.
Because however I look at it, there would have been no future for me and Kaya. Because Chase loves her too and because our father made it clear that he disapproved of how close we were with her and that he expected us to be ‘brothers’ to Kaya once he married Karen.
Dad is the biggest obstacle anyway, I think taking another drink of my beer and draining the bottle. He loves Kaya like a daughter and that will never change.
And that fact has affected my relationship with him lately, filling me with resentment, especially after I saw that Kaya is dating both Bryce and Parker, thinking that it could’ve been Chase and I in their place.
“Ready for the election and for moving into the presidential suite on the top floor?” Chase asks with that look on his face that has always rubbed me wrong since we were kids.
A look that says that he’s my older brother and everything I could ever achieve or do, he’s achieved first or he’s done better.
I don’t even dignify him with an answer, getting up to grab a fresh bottle of beer from the mini fridge in the living room.
Chase was frat president last year and the brothers loved him, he threw the best parties with the best booze and the best girls. It was a real surprise when he decided to step down from his role, officially because he’s an engineering major and his senior year is going to be really tough.
Regardless of the reason why – I’ve stopped even trying to understand my brother lately – there’ll be an election and with Kaya on campus this year, I need to keep busy and to embrace any distraction I can get. So I decided to run and it turns out that Chase isn’t the only one popular with the brothers, because I’m running unopposed.
“Ok, ok, brothers, settle down. It looks like we’re all here, so we can begin.” Chase stands up and addresses the brothers in his new position of ‘past president’. It’s up to him to officially declare me the new president of ΓΔΤ.
Tradition warrants that since there isn’t anyone running against me, the brothers will be given one last chance to throw their name in the hat and trigger an election.
“Is there anyone opposed to Reid Hudson’s bid for presidency? If so, I remind you that opposing means automatically putting your names up for election,” he pauses for a few seconds, looking around the room and then continues. “So, without further ado—”
“Wait, I’d like to say something.”
A tall guy I’ve never seen before stands up causing Chase to glare at him, irritated by the interruption.
“Who the fuck are you? Rush week is next week, if you want to pledge—”
That motherfucker must have a death wish because he smirks arrogantly at Chase before interrupting him again, with what sounds like a snobby British accent.
“Sorry, mate, I didn’t quite catch your name earlier. Is it Chip, right? Regardless, I’m a brother. I transferred to Bridgeport from Yale.”
Chase’s scowl deepens but he doesn’t correct the new guy.
“Whatever, dude. New brothers will be introduced by the new president after I make the announcement. Now, if we’re done interrupting —”
“But that’s the thing, you see? I need to talk now because I just learned that you stepped down and there was going to be a new president. I thought there had been an election but since someone is running unopposed, why not make things more interesting? I’d like to run for president.”
It’s my turn to intervene and I’m beginning to feel as irritated as Chase.
“Sure, bro. Bring it.”
But Chase won’t let up and challenges the new guy. “Yeah, well. I’m afraid it isn’t that easy. You’re new to our chapter and while that doesn’t make you a pledge, you might not know that there’s some conditions for you to be allowed to run for president. Right, Hoyt?”
Our master of ceremonies looks uncomfortable and doesn’t meet mine or Chase’s eyes, as if he knew something we don’t.
“Yeah. To run for president any brother who has transferred from a different chapter or has been a member for less than twelve months, will need to be formally endorsed and backed by a minimum of three brothers,” Hoyt confirms.
Chase sounds increasingly annoyed when he speaks next, I can hear it in his voice.
“Right, are there three brothers who want to back you up?”
Hoyt clears his throat uncomfortably and raises his hand. “Aye.”
He doesn’t meet my eyes, well aware that I’m surprised by what I can only perceive as a betrayal, since Hoyt and I have been playing football together since freshman year and I tutored him last year when he was about to fail his statistics class.
“Noted. Anyone else?”
“Me, aye.”
Asher Osborne isn’t a surprise, he’s never made a mystery of the fact that he doesn’t like me or Chase, especially since he lost the election to Chase last year.
The last brother who speaks in favor of the new guy isn’t shocking either: Tripp Matthews was passed over for quarterback and he resents being second string to Chase.
“Well, fuck. If we didn’t just get ourselves an election. As past president, it’s up to me to decide if I want to proceed to an immediate vote or if I want to give the candidates two weeks to campaign. Normally I wouldn’t mind a friendly competition but I have no time to handle an election with rush week and football tryouts looming over us. So let’s vote right now. Hoyt, bring the voting materials, please.”
Chase looks at me when he says that, he obviously thinks that an immediate vote will be in my favor, since the new guy is ... well, new.
“By the way, dude, I didn’t catch your name earlier,” my brother says addressing my opponent, who stands up and extends a hand for my brother and I to shake.
“Oliver Horatio Raglan Wellesley III, how do you do?” I notice an ornate, antique looking ring with what looks like a family crest on his index finger.
I force myself to shake the guy’s hand, aware that all the brothers are watching this interaction and Chase is smart enough to do the same.
Obviously neither of us wants to show how much this new turn of events really pisses us off, it’s not even about the possibility of losing the presidency to someone we don’t know, it’s something in the new guy’s attitude that rubs us the wrong way.
“All right, here we are.” Hoyt comes back into the room with a wicker basket full of cheap looking lace panties and a burlap sack that he hands to Chase.
“All right, brothers. You know the rules. Each of you gets one pair of panties in each color. You’ll put the color of your chosen candidate in the sack. The candidate with more panties of his assigned color will be elected president. To keep the vote secret, Hoyt will set the sack and the basket outside on the deck. We’ll go out one by one from the door on my right, cast our vote and come back inside from the door on my left. Discard the remaining pair of panties back in the basket. You have to cast a vote, abstaining is not permitted. Reid’s assigned color is white, Oliver’s assigned color is black.”
After every brother gets one pair of panties in each color, Hoyt goes outside to set down the sack and the empty basket.
“Before we start voting, I’ll allow each candidate to address the brothers and tell us briefly why he thinks he should be president. Reid, you’re up.”
I stand up and look at the brothers around the room. I meet briefly Bryce and Parker’s gazes and they both nod encouragingly. They arrived right before the ceremony started and they’ve been observing the whole dynamic quietly. The other brothers know how tight the four of us are, everyone does on campus, really, so ther
e’s no doubt who they’re going to back.
“Gammas, if I’m elected president, I promise to uphold our tradition of brotherhood, academic excellence and obviously fun. I already have some awesome shit planned for rush week, including a party with our favorite sorority, the ΖθΒ (Zeta Theta Beta). You know I’m a legacy and I was Chase’s deputy last year. You can expect another awesome year under me.”
A few of the brothers applaud my speech, Parker and Bryce are among them but I’m surprised to see a lot of undecided looks among the others. There’s thirty-five of us right now, since a few brothers graduated last year and if I had to judge by the number of people clapping their hands, I’d think that I’m absolutely screwed.
But I don’t want to jump to conclusions, after all I think I have a few good friends among the brothers and Chase was a very loved and respected president, so my odds shouldn’t be that bad.
“Oliver, you’re up.”
The new guy stands up and looks at me with a derisive smirk.
“Gammas, I was president of my chapter at Yale. I could talk to you about how my reputation precedes me, how I was first in my class and how ΓΔΤ is the most popular fraternity at Yale, but I won’t. Because I don’t bloody need to. You were all at the party I threw last weekend, right? Is there anyone among you guys who didn’t get laid last Friday night?”
The brothers begin to holler and whoop in response, making approving noises and agreeing with him.
Oliver looks at everyone around the room, finally settling his arrogant gaze on me. “So, if I’m elected president here at Bridgeport, this is what I promise all of you: parties, hot girls, booze. Pussy, pussy and more motherfucking pussy ready to fall at our feet. This is gonna be the best bloody year of your life, brothers!”
Hoyt begins chanting, “Ollie, Ollie, Ollie!” And all the brothers join except for us four and two sophomores who play football with us.
All of a sudden, I’m not so sure that I’ll get to be Gamma president and the idea of losing to that pompous prick pisses me off a lot more than I believed possible.
The brothers begin to go out to the deck to cast their votes and a lot of them clap Oliver on the shoulder on their way back into the living room.
“So, you mentioned a party last weekend? Why weren’t we invited?”
Chase asks bluntly and I appreciate my brother sticking up for me, he’s always done that since we were kids. I’ve always been more quiet, less willing to show my feelings but Chase is a force of nature, someone to be reckoned with.
Oliver doesn’t look intimidated in the least, he swipes his hand through his strawberry blond hair, the emerald on his crest ring catching the light. “I absolutely planned to but I was informed that you guys weren’t back in town. You’re definitely going to be the first on my list next weekend. I plan to throw a party every weekend but this coming week I have a family engagement, so unfortunately it’s a no go.”
Right.
For as much as I’d like to doubt his words, he’s fucking right. We were still in Star Cove. Chase and I were sailing for Dad’s team in the regatta, which by the way we won.
The high I get when I sail, the freedom I feel when it’s just me, the sea and the wind is something I can’t compare with anything else. Even the rush of victory when we play football can’t top that feeling of absolute freedom and power.
Obviously that moment was fleeting and the harsh reality of my broken heart was there waiting for me every time I looked at Kaya.
I’d been thinking about talking to her and confessing my feelings, telling her that I was the one who kissed her but then I saw how doting Parker and Bryce were with her, how they made her smile.
And I caught Dad watching me looking at her and the hard set of his jaw made me realize how things hadn’t changed at all from the summer of three years ago.
“Ok, brothers. Let’s count the votes and see who’s the new Gamma president.” Hoyt hands the burlap sack to Chase and when my twin tips its contents on the coffee table, it’s absolutely clear who’s the winner.
A sea of black lace rains on the polished mahogany, making any notion of counting the votes a futile attempt.
I stand up, walking toward Oliver with an outstretched hand. I’m fuming but he won fair and square and I’m gentleman enough to concede and congratulate him on his victory.
He accepts my hand with a grin and then signals to Hoyt, who leaves the room to return a moment later carrying a wooden case.
“Let’s celebrate my victory with some shots of Don Julio 1942, only the best stuff for the Gamma house!”
3.
Sisters
Kaya
I CHECK MY REFLECTION in the mirror and my upper lip twitches in displeasure.
I feel like a fucked up version of ‘sorority girl Barbie’ or something. I don’t mind the pale pink summer dress that Mom bought me. That’s actually something I would wear but the matching headband? The soft cashmere cardigan that rests on my shoulders? The pearl jewelry? Shit, if Nic saw me right now, she’d laugh until she cried. Especially when she realized that I’m not about to splatter blood all over my outfit and go to a Halloween party and that I’m seriously going out dressed this way.
Mom insisted that this is the right look to impress the Zetas and secure my place as a pledge.
“But why do I need to impress them, Mom? If I’m a legacy, shouldn’t that grant me a spot?”
Mom had shaken her head and explained that my legacy status would probably force them to allow me to pledge but that I didn’t have a guaranteed spot, that would have to be earned.
I sigh at my reflection, the girl in the mirror looks like she has all her shit together, so in a way, I don’t blame the Zetas for expecting a certain standard.
I know Mom would be delighted if I were a Zeta and followed in her footsteps. Normally this wouldn’t be my type of thing but in a way, I actually really want to give this sorority thing a try.
Growing up as a navy brat, meant moving so often that I never made any lasting friendships until I met Nic. And while no one can take the place of my ‘sister from another mister’, like she jokingly calls herself, I wouldn’t mind experiencing that kind of friendship, the sisterhood Mom fondly remembers when she talks about the Zetas.
I know she’s stayed in touch with a few of her sisters over the years and a couple of them were her rock when things went south with Dad and their marriage collapsed.
So I surprised myself when I decided that I want to be a Zeta.
That’ll also help in getting Mom off my case that dating Bryce would somehow ruin my college experience. If I were a Zeta, she’d be satisfied that I’m making the most of my college years.
So I smooth my hands over my dress and swipe my straightened dark brown hair over one of my shoulders and decide to give it my all. It would be awesome to be able to tell Mom that I’m officially a Zeta pledge when I see her at the weekend for my birthday party.
But, I decide at the last minute unfastening the clasp of the pearl necklace, that’s a little much. I can be a Zeta but I still want to be Kaya.
I ACCEPT THE HAND BRYCE offers me to get out of his Jeep: these wedge sandals Mom made me buy to match the sundress are a lot higher than I normally wear and I feel a little unsteady on my feet, so I welcome my boy’s help and lean happily into him when he wraps a strong arm around my waist.
He smiles as I look up at him and places a soft kiss on one of my temples.
Parker is walking on the other side of me, drop dead gorgeous in a grey button down shirt that fits his muscled, tall form like a second skin.
He isn’t touching me as such, but his arm is so close to mine that I can feel his body heat and the things that the not quite there contact is doing to my body are fucking ridiculous.
Classes have started immediately and apparently there’s been some major drama at the frat house, so I haven’t seen Parker and Bryce for a couple of days.
They’ve been texting and calling me every night bu
t I have to admit that I really miss them.
I obviously invited them to my birthday weekend celebrations and I decided that there’s only one present I want from them: I want to renegotiate our friends with benefits deal. I want them to be my boyfriends, officially.
Well fuck, ok. Bryce officially but I want to get out of the gray area we’ve been stuck in since this whole thing between us started at the beginning of the summer. And I don’t care if I’m going to be the one to ask. It’s the twenty first century after all and girls can ask boys out and so on.
Greek Row is crowded this evening, every fraternity and sorority has a stand in front of their house, hoping to attract the best pledges and I’m stopped by a group of girls in cutoff jeans, bikini tops and fake bunny ears. The banner above their stand says ΙΑΚ (Upsilon Alpha Kappa) and aside from the less than classy look the girls are sporting, I have to work hard to keep a straight face, because ... Come on, I can’t believe that when their sorority was founded no one noticed that their name sounds and looks like ‘yack’.
However I don’t want to embarrass them, despite the way their president and master of ceremonies are eye-fucking Parker and Bryce. So when they offer me a leaflet and ask me if I want to pledge I decline as politely as I can. “Sorry, I’m pledging ΖΘΒ, I’m a legacy there and you know how parents are. My mom would be heartbroken if I pledged another sorority.”
We walk away and Parker compliments me on how I handled myself there.
“Thanks babe, aside from the fact that Mom would never forgive me if I didn’t pledge the Zetas, I didn’t think that I’d be a good fit with those girls. And I’m not trying to be a snooty bitch here, but I mean seriously, Yack?”
Bryce chuckles and agrees with my evaluation. “Yeah, look I know I have no right to tell you what to do and you know I’d never try anyway but had you been interested, I’d have warned you that the ΙΑΚs have a certain ... reputation on campus.”
Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2) Page 2