Chase’s hand cups my jaw and while he doesn’t say anything out loud, his dark blue eyes say everything he isn’t putting into words.
He’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him and he still loves me, nothing has changed since that fateful night in Star Cove.
Chase and I made love once, my first and only time so far and while we’re in a room full of people and our clothes are definitely not going anywhere, he makes love with my mouth.
It’s the only way I can describe his kiss, it’s something sweet, hot and passionate. Something that makes every fiber of my being, every cell of my body sing with happiness and excitement. Chase’s kiss destroys my soul at the idea that I have to remember every second of it because it won’t happen again and at the same time it’s like coming home.
Very few people have ever hurt me as much as Chase has but it’s also true that very few people are a part of me the way Chase is. Actually there are four people that have his same power to destroy me and put me right back together just with one kiss.
I don’t know how long it lasts, I only know that I drink Chase in greedily like when you breathe the first gulp of air after being under water. Our chests are smashed together and I know it isn’t just my imagination when I feel his heart beating as fast as mine.
We part when the room that had grown totally silent starts filling with laughter and cheering as our drunk peers start chanting: “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Chase’s hand lingers on my cheek for a long moment and I’m still lost in the dark blue depths of his eyes, reluctant to put anymore distance between us.
“What did I tell you, mate? Your sis is one fine bird. Definitely Reid’s loss, hey?”
Oliver’s smug expression makes me hate him with a ferocity I didn’t think I could ever be capable of, all the more because I can’t control my physical reaction when his gaze takes a slow perusal of my body, making me feel exposed.
Chase and Reid walk away together and I’m left there, grateful to have Bryce and Parker in my corner but dazed and confused by the intense looks on their faces.
5.
Hangover
Kaya
BRYCE CLOSES THE CAR door as I get in and the soft ‘thud’ of the door reverberates in my head like a million bowling balls striking the pins all at once.
I close my eyes thanking all the gods for my shades and for the fact that Parker’s car windows are tinted as dark as legally allowed.
So this is a hangover.
Dude, I swear I’ll never EVER drink again.
Those skinny margaritas tasted good last night but despite brushing my teeth twice, this morning I feel as if my mouth was full of cotton and sand. Sandy cotton, is that a thing? Yuck.
“Ready?”
Parker’s low voice reaches me and I try to nod without causing a bout of nausea and lean my head against the car window, hoping that I’ll survive the two hour drive to my parents’ house. Mom and Dustin eventually plan to move to Star Cove and live there all year round but right now a considerable part of Dustin’s business is still located between San Francisco and New York, so they travel between the three places all the time.
My stepfather has always been drawn to the water regardless of his business of building and racing boats, so all his houses are by the sea, except for his apartment in the Upper East Side in New York (but he does have a house in the Hamptons).
I guess the house in Star Cove is my favorite out of all of them, the one we’re going to now, one hour outside San Francisco is beautiful but a little too formal for my liking.
It looks like an old English countryside mansion, like in Downton Abbey or all the period drama TV shows I love to watch.
Mom mentioned a party tonight and I seriously hope she hasn’t gone overboard with the celebrations because all I want is to be surrounded by the people I love and possibly pizza. Loads and loads of pizza.
The thought of a slice of pizza makes my stomach growl just as Parker drives through a Jack in the Box and I have to give it to him and Bryce: they might not want to put a label on whatever we have between us but they surely learned what I like in the couple of months we’ve known each other. They order me an egg and sausage sandwich, hash browns and a large black coffee without even asking and I love them all the more for it as I sink my teeth into the greasy, slightly spicy goodness.
None of us talks for a long time, first as we’re all busy eating breakfast and then because each of us seems lost in our own thoughts.
I’m grateful that neither of the boys seems interested in talking about last night. Not just my kisses with Oliver and Chase that were definitely part of the pledge challenge but mostly the fact that I drunkenly tried to convince Parker and Bryce to come to my bedroom last night.
And the boys did, but just to tuck me in and to make sure that I had water and painkillers on my night stand.
Some people forget the shit they say and do when they’re drunk but I have no such luck. I clearly remember trying to drag Parker into bed and wrapping my thighs around his hips, complaining that we haven’t ‘been together’ since Star Cove and that I was ready to take things to the next level.
The boys cuddled with me until I fell asleep but they shot me down every time I tried to take things further than a chaste kiss. “Whoa, you little temptress! You need to get some sleep. Bryce and I will still be here another time, when you aren’t drunk.” I complained that I was horny and it was their fault because it had been weeks since the last time they ‘took care of me’. “Aww sweet stuff, you make things so hard, quite literally. I want nothing but to show you how much I want you but Parker is right. Not like this, not while you’re drunk.”
So yeah, they were perfect gentlemen and slept by my side resisting all my sloppy advances.
And let me tell you that drunk Kaya isn’t only horny and free of all her normal inhibitions, she’s a whiny little bitch. Had I been Parker and Bryce, I would have smothered myself with a pillow, rather than fuck because I wouldn’t shut up nor stop complaining.
I need to apologize to the boys for being impossible last night and I’m determined to speak to Chase and tell him that I can’t keep our secret any longer.
I know it’s a risk but I don’t share Chase’s fear that what we did could reach our parents’ ears. My biggest worry is that Parker and Bryce might feel that I betrayed them. I love them just as much as I love Chase. It doesn’t matter that officially they don’t call me their girlfriend, I hope they understand that they’re all a part of me in ways that I can’t even explain. I fell for Chase and Reid three years ago at first sight and with Parker and Bryce it was the same way at the beginning of the summer just gone.
I hope they can understand that I love them with all my heart, all four of them and that I never meant to hurt them.
My phone pings with a text message and snaps me out of my reveries. It’s Valeria.
Valeria: congratulations, pledge! You’ll receive an official email on Monday morning but I wanted to let you know that you’ve been selected to pledge ΖΘΒ. We’re excited to have you and I know we’ll have an awesome year. Welcome sister!
I have mixed feelings about it. In a way I’m happy because I know how much Mom wanted me to share in her legacy and now she’ll have less reason to try and scrutinize my relationship with Bryce.
In another way, I don’t know if this is really me. But I guess that the whole point is that college is about self-discovery and that’s what Mom wants. That I find out who I am and that I don’t tie my self-worth and my identity to a boy ... or two. Or four.
The guys congratulate me and I wince, holding my head in my hands and groaning in pain. “Thank you. But do you guys have to be so loud? My head is killing me.”
Bryce chuckles and passes me two tablets. “Here. Swallow them with your coffee, caffeine will help the painkillers work faster.”
I accept them gratefully and then I swear that I’ll never drink again.
“Sure you won’t. Until the next party,” Br
yce says with a smirk. “But Parker and I will make sure to teach you how to pace yourself and stay hydrated, so next time you won’t feel so rough in the morning.”
I beam at him, turning my head to look at his muscular frame sprawled all over the back seat.
I love Bryce’s easy smile and the way his green eyes light up when he looks at me. “What would I do without you?” I ask him and he scoots closer, touching his lips to mine.
I’m about to unbuckle my seatbelt to climb into the backseat and into his arms but the high gates of the mansion appear in the distance and I decide to postpone making out with Bryce till later on. Maybe we could go further, if I manage to talk to Chase and if Bryce won’t hate me after my confession.
“Uhm, I think your parents might have more guests than just immediate family.” Parker’s voice makes me turn back as he parks the car in the huge circular driveway.
Two Aston Martin convertibles are parked side by side but I have no time to wonder who they might belong to because Reid’s Tesla arrives and stops right next to us.
“Hey sister! Happy birthday!”
Valeria jumps out of one of the two Astons looking as fresh as a rose and enveloping me in a tight hug as if we were long lost friends.
Kaya
“OH, UHM ... THANK YOU? What are you doing here?” I ask trying to make sense of why my sorority president is at my parents house.
“Yeah and I’d like to know what the fuck he’s doing here!”
Reid and Chase have stepped next to us and are glaring at the whole scene with blazing blue gazes.
Their eyes are the exact same shape but their colors are at the opposite ends of the spectrum even if they’re both blue. One ice, transparent blue and the other a deep, dark blue.
They’re looking behind Valeria where Oliver is standing with an amused little smirk, like the proverbial cat that got the cream.
As soon as Valeria releases me from her hug, his smile widens and he steps toward me. “Let me hug the birthday girl too. Happy birthday, darling.”
He holds me way too close and the scent of his expensive but subtle cologne invades my nostrils as his breath fans over my ear. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss last night. I hope I’ll get to give you a birthday kiss later?”
When he lets me go, I open my mouth to tell him no, that he can’t kiss me again but the words die in my mouth at the sight of Parker and Bryce who are standing by Chase and Reid’s side in a straight line formation.
I have no time to marvel at how handsome and formidable they look when they show a united front, because the front door opens and Dustin and Mom come out to greet us just in time for the occupants of the other Aston Martin to step out.
After my parents hug me tight and wish me happy birthday, Dustin’s attention focuses on the middle aged, elegant couple that’s standing just a few feet away from us.
“Lord and Lady Wellesley, welcome to our home! Have you met our daughter Kaya, our sons Chase and Reid and their good friends Parker and Bryce?”
I look at the man Dustin addressed as Lord Wellesley and I immediately spot his resemblance to Oliver.
He greets Dustin with a very similar British accent to the one of the Gamma president. “How do you do? And happy birthday, by the way. I trust you’ve met my son Oliver and my daughter Valeria?”
Chase is the one who voices the surprise of all of us: “You two are siblings?”
“Step siblings.” Oliver explains as we’re all ushered into the house and through to the backyard for a light lunch.
My mom and Lady Wellesley apparently went to NYU together and met when they both joined ΖΘΒ.
The two women immediately begin reminiscing the past and expressing their excitement at the fact that Valeria and I will get to be sisters just like they did two decades ago.
Mom sighs as she takes a sip of her martini. “Well Rena, I’m just glad that after two disastrous first marriages we both found the men of our dreams.”
Valeria’s mom agrees and lifts her glass. “Cheers to that.”
Everyone is making small talk and I learn that Valeria’s mom met Oliver’s dad when one of her girlfriends chartered a yacht for a cruise around Italy and the Greek islands.
“Oh, so your stepdad was on the yacht too?”
Valeria explains that Lord Wellesley owns a huge company that charters luxury yachts and that during their vacation, he happened to be on his own yacht in Capri.
“They met at a local restaurant and Henry saw Mom and offered to buy her a drink. When they discovered that we were on a cruise on one of his yachts, he invited us aboard his own boat for dinner. They’ve been together ever since. They’ve been married for ten years.”
“So you and Oliver grew up together?” I ask realizing that their situation is different than mine with my stepbrothers because they were pre-teens when their parents met.
“Yeah, I guess you could say so.” Valeria agrees with a giggle that makes Oliver wink at me with one of his trademark smirks.
I don’t have time to dwell on why those two seem so amused as the house staff come to clear our dishes and Dustin and Lord Wellesley stand up from the table.
“Right, ladies. Henry and I have some business to discuss but we shouldn’t be long and would like Chase, Reid and Oliver to join us in the study, since one day they’ll be the ones in charge. It’s a nice day, so enjoy the beach or the pool. And we’ll definitely see you later on, we have a little surprise for the birthday girl.” Dustin winks at me and I can’t help but smile back. He’s given me the love and the warmth that my own father never did. In fact, I didn’t receive a card or a phone call from him and I know for a fact that he’s back from his latest deployment. He simply doesn’t care, there’s no other way to put it.
Mom and Rena decide to move their cocktail sipping endeavor to the pool but I prefer to go to the beach, since it’s still warm enough. The sea is beautiful in the winter too but I miss swimming in it when it gets too cold.
Changing into our bathing suits doesn’t take long and for a second, I feel a little sad at the memory of one time at the yacht club in Star Cove when Bryce snuck into my changing room and we had a hot make out session. I wish he did the same thing now but instead he knocks on my door and Parker and Valeria are right behind him.
The beach is beautiful and quiet, it couldn’t be any different since this stretch is private and belongs to Dustin’s estate. There’s a boat house on one side where jet-skis and other water toys are kept along with a small catamaran and a few kayaks.
Parker decides to take one of the kayaks out but I really want to swim and I’m joined by Bryce.
I don’t really want to ask Valeria to join us but I know my host duties, so I invite her to come swim with us.
“No eww,” she says scrunching her nose. “I’m sorry but I don’t swim in the ocean. There’s too much shit inside that can brush against you. I’m gonna be lazy and top up my tan, since it’s a really nice day.”
So I find myself alone with Bryce and I take his hand as we run into the calm water, squealing at the slight chill it causes against our overheated skin.
We stop when the water reaches our chests and Bryce takes me into his arms. His eyes reflect the color of the water and they’re the brightest green I’ve ever seen, making his strikingly handsome face look even more stunning than normal.
His nose and his forehead touch mine and he has that easy, bright smile I’ve learned to love firmly planted on his face.
“I got you a birthday present sweet stuff, but I really want to give you my birthday kiss right now. Away from everyone else.” His voice is as soft and smooth as melted caramel and it feels like a caress that descends deep inside me, making my heart pick up its pace and my body come alive with desire. I close my eyes and tip my head toward him, meeting him half way.
Bryce’s kisses are sexy and playful at the same time, just like him. His lips are gentle at first, coaxing mine open unhurriedly. He has the softest lips and I love t
hat he uses them a lot when he kisses. It’s not all about shoving his tongue into my mouth, his kisses are skilled and seductive. When his tongue enters my mouth, we start a playful dance, he chases me and lets me chase him, stroking and massaging. Our kiss grows hotter with each stroke of our tongues and his hand leaves my waist and begins tracing my side, coming up to cup one of my breasts.
I gasp into his mouth, melting against him as his fingers begin teasing my hard nipple.
His lips are still against mine when he says: “I love you, Kaya. God help me but I fucking love you. I’ve tried to slow it down, to keep it casual, to give us time. But I’ve known since I decided to kiss you at the beginning of the summer. I’m done going slow. I love you and I don’t care if the whole world knows.”
I don’t even think about it, I say it back because it’s true. The sting of guilt that makes a tear slide down my face is not because of what I did with Chase, it’s because I’m keeping it from him.
I’ve always been open with Bryce, there’s something in him that has made me feel safe from the first moment I met him.
I hope he and Parker will understand that the night I gave myself to Chase, I didn’t cheat on them. I know that Bryce and Parker love Chase like a brother and I hope that it will be enough to make them understand my feelings and forgive me for acting on them and for not going to them immediately with the truth.
We come out of the water holding hands and as I lower myself onto the sun lounger next to Valeria’s, I make up my mind that I need to tell Chase that I can no longer keep our secret.
I can’t have secrets with Parker and Bryce and if Chase loves me like he says he does, he’ll have to accept this reality.
I know that whatever happens, even if what I did by loving Chase and by keeping it quiet was a deal breaker for them, Parker and Bryce would still protect us and not tell on us. I trust them completely, this is why I owe them the truth.
Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2) Page 5