It’s ten minutes later as told by my bedside clock when he returns with the promised washcloth and, after cleaning me up, disappears yet again. This time, he’s back immediately. He climbs into his side of the bed, lies back, then holds out his arm in invitation.
I hesitate just for a moment, then snuggle into him. He smells wood-smoky—there’s a background tinge of cigarette, all wrapped up in the masculine pheromones of sweat and sex. The combination is heady, just because it’s him.
“If you’re worried there could be an outcome of tonight, there’s the morning-after pill. I could go and get it for you.”
“You want me to take it, in case?”
Grumbler shifts me until I’m half lying on him. “Been thinking, babe. And not just now. Nah, thoughts have been creeping up on me. I never wanted an old lady, couldn’t see the point. Now I know it was just because I hadn’t met the right woman as yet. I’d decided earlier that you were mine, and that I was going to claim you.”
“You decided, huh?” I should be annoyed, but the way he’s said it makes me feel warm and protected instead, and my objections are more for show than genuine.
“I decided. Yes.” He’s unrepentant.
“Because I let you into my bed?”
He sniggers. “Nope. Plenty of women would do that. But not many would talk to me, or that I’d like it when they did. We’ve got a good friendship going, babe, from the day we first met. Told myself I came here to find out details on the photographer so I could track him down, when I hadn’t even explored other options. If I’m truthful, I jumped at the chance to see you again even if I hadn’t admitted that to myself.”
He’s right. We have been friends. Not for long, but long enough that I know we do click. The way he is with Alicia, had impressed me. He’s shown a patience with her that I wouldn’t have expected, and I can’t forget he was the one she’d run to when she couldn’t face me.
“I’m uncertain what you’re saying.” He said claimed, but what meaning does that have for him?
“That you’re my ol’ lady. In my world, that’s as good as being my wife.”
“Did we get married? I don’t remember it.”
“Funny,” he replies. “But yeah, I’d put a ring on your finger, if that’s what you need. It’s happened fast, but life’s too short not to go after what you want. And, I decided that before I came to your bed, darlin’. Before I’d even tried you out.” He winks.
I bat at him with my hand. “Before?”
“Before I knew we were more than compatible in bed. Before, well, before my carelessness left us with possible consequences. You asked me if I wanted you to make sure there were no ramifications from tonight? Surprised the heck out of myself when I came down on the side of chance. Might be the lifestyle I lead, living on the edge, but hell, if you’re pregnant, it is what it is. Never expected to have kids, never was against the idea either. It just never came up. You pregnant? Well, I’m not sure it’s for the best. I’ve got my best years behind me, and, while I’m too much of a gentleman to mention your age, it would take a toll on your body. So, I think it’s for you to make the choice, and I’ll be right here by your side whatever you choose. And here for a baby, if one exists.”
“It’s highly unlikely, Grumbler.” A baby? At my age? Grumbler’s right. It would take a toll on my body and for a very long time. Having a baby ties you down. “Kids aren’t easy, Grumbler. They’re hard work. They—”
“Shit, puke, scream, and grow into teenagers. Yeah, I can guess. But if I have to, I reckon I could change a diaper. I’m used to handling shit.” He nuzzles the top of my head.
He’s leaving the decision to me. I couldn’t ask for more. But just how involved would he want to be with a baby? Would I end up on my own when Grumbler found it too hard to deal with? I should be looking forward to the time when any infant in my future was my grandkid, not another child I’d birthed. Could I do it?
“I’d like to sleep on it,” I finally decide. “It’s a lot to process. If I don’t take the pill, I’ll need to speak to a doctor, find out what’s best.”
“If you want, I’ll go with you.”
“You will?”
“Of fuckin’ course.” His tone questions how I could think anything else. “I’ll be with you, whether there’s something to concern us or not. If you’re mine, babe, that’s it. I’m yours for life.”
I still can’t believe how I got so lucky. How did I get this big bad biker in my life? Do I want to commit to him? What does that mean?
“Where does this leave Alicia?”
He draws in a breath. “With us, of course. I suppose I’ll have to ask her permission if we’re going to tie the knot, but I’ll find some way to persuade her. Look, babe, I know she’s your girl. I can’t step in and be her father, but I can be a man in her life. Heard some shit about stepdads, but the man who ended with my mom wasn’t so bad. Didn’t give a damn at the time, but he did get me out of a fix.”
“The cop? What happened to him?”
“They married shortly after I joined up. Got himself killed on active duty while I was in the military.”
“Your mom?”
“She found some other sucker to marry her soon after his death. He hated bikers. She took his side, and well, I never saw her again. She was happy in her new life and didn’t want me rocking the boat. She died a few years back. I went to the funeral, only to be asked why I’d fuckin’ bothered, and that she’d left nothing for me. As if I wanted anything.”
“Who the hell said that?”
“Her latest husband and my brother. Well, we’ve never been close. I think he resented that he still remained in contact with her, while I had moved on. He got caught in the role of dutiful son, and I suspect got roped into paying money to her. If she’d left anything, he was entitled to it.”
My heart breaks for him and how it seems like he didn’t have a loving family to fall back on. No wonder he thinks so much of his MC. “Sometimes when we’ve seen the worst, it makes us want to do better ourselves.”
“You got that straight, babe. Which is why I won’t be introducing myself to Alicia as a stepdad. She wants a relationship, it’s up to her.”
I yawn, loudly.
“Babe, go to sleep. One thing about problems, they’ll still be here tomorrow.”
And he, in turn, has got that right.
How is it that men, whatever’s on their mind, seem able to go straight to sleep by the time the light is switched off?
The one good thing is—I find as I can’t turn the thoughts off in my head—he doesn’t snore.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Grumbler
It was all systems go in the Styles’ household when I woke up alone this morning. Despite me normally being a light sleeper, Mary had managed to vacate the bed without me knowing. The sounds reaching me are that of mother and daughter already about and talking.
I grab the clothes I was wearing last night and slide into them. Finally, I put on my cut and replace my phone and my wallet, the latter with its traitorous contents, back in my pocket. Then, finger brushing my short hair, I leave the bedroom.
“Breakfast?” Mary asks, cheerily. “Not that it’s much. We make do with toast or cereal in the mornings.”
“Toast is fine.” My eyes narrow as I see Alicia wearing a cheeky grin and holding out her hand to me.
“What?” I shake my head in confusion, sure that I must have missed something.
“Money,” Alicia taps the palm of her hand. “To buy some earplugs.”
“Alicia!” Mary’s eyes about fill her face having widened so completely.
We’d been quiet, I think. Then I fall back on my Satan’s Devils’ spiel where we never deny or confirm a thing. “You didn’t hear anything.” I scoff.
Shrewd teenage eyes look at me, then she giggles. “That’s not telling me anything.”
But I do take out my wallet, extract a twenty and pass it to her.
“Grumbler,” Mary sque
aks. “You don’t have to give her money.”
“I know I don’t,” I reply, winking at Alicia. “But the kid could do with a treat. Buy some donuts or something.” Pausing, I add, “Or, earplugs.” I wink at the girl who seems quite cheery this morning. It seems if she’d known we had done the deed, it didn’t bother her.
“You like school?” I pull out a stool and perch on it.
“Well, school’s alright. I want to catch up with Marisa. I’ve missed her this weekend.”
She wouldn’t have missed her if she’d been where she’d said on Friday night, but I keep that to myself. Mary catches my eye, and I suspect she’s thinking the very same thing.
A horn beeping outside tells me the prospect I’d summoned has arrived.
“If you’re not going to keep your lift waiting, you better get a move on,” Mary warns her.
Alicia runs to the window and looks outside, then turns, looking disappointed. “He’s got a truck.”
As Mary rolls her eyes, I chuckle. It’s not difficult to see Alicia was hoping to turn up at school on the back of the prospect’s bike.
The next few minutes are taken up with Mary making sure the kid has everything. Turns out she’s forgotten half her stuff, and the pair of them rush to locate it. Then, just as she’s about to disappear through the door, Alicia runs back to me and gives me an unexpected hug. After an awkward pause, I hug her back.
“I like you for Mom,” she whispers in my ear. “So I might invest in earplugs.”
I bat her off, trying not to laugh, in case I give the words spoken in confidence away. “Go get some learning, kid.”
Then I hear a giggle, followed by a slam of the front door. Now it’s just me and Mary.
Watching her go about her morning routine, stacking the dishwasher and wiping down the surfaces, I breathe deeply. I’m in unchartered territory here. What do you say to a woman you might have made pregnant? In nearly six decades, I haven’t had to face up to anything of its like.
Do I mention it? Avoid the subject?
Mary, too, seems undecided. But when she picks up her purse, grabs the keys from the table by the door, it’s clear she doesn’t want to say anything.
“I’ve got to go, Grumbler, else I’ll be late.”
Taking a last swig of my coffee I stand, go rinse my cup, then pat my pockets to make sure I’ve got everything. “Me too, babe. But I’ll be back tonight. There may be an update about the video.”
For a second, I’m not sure if she’ll agree. Clearly, she’s warring within herself between finding out if that tape isn’t going to bite Alicia on the ass and moving into dangerous territory with me.
Then she comes to a decision. “We only have takeout during the week, but if you want to eat with us…?”
While thinking how domesticated it all seems, I nod. “Takeout is fine with me.” I don’t say the words, we need to talk, but my eyes must signal it anyway. I leave her with just one thought. “I’m all in, babe. I mean it.” I told her I’d claimed her, but I’m not sure my words have sunk in.
Her eyes meet mine briefly, then, the hustle and bustle of the morning comes to a close when she leaves the front door unlocked, trusting me to close up behind her. She goes to her car and opens the driver’s side door. I’ve left the stool, followed her out and am now beside her.
“Think you’ve forgotten something, babe.” At her scrunched brow, I add, “Want your lips.”
She glances around as if the neighbours are all choosing that moment to peer through the curtains. But I’m not letting her get away without reminding her, she belongs to me. Which I do, thoroughly. Her mouth looks thoroughly ravished when I’ve finished.
“Good morning,” I tell her, as I pat her butt and hold open the car door for her.
She gives me a half-smile, then settles herself in. As I close the door, I realise I’m already looking forward to seeing her again.
Having gone back to quickly lock up, I’m only a minute or so behind her, but turning left instead of the right she’d taken.
My bike backfires as though voicing its objections, though probably down to the mixture being too rich. I pat the tank. Hey, baby. I’m not replacing you, okay? That seems to settle her, and the remainder of the ride to the compound goes without further incident.
Unlike yesterday, I’m now riding in Monday morning rush hour. Too many cars and trucks around to get lost in my head. So it’s not until I’m nearing the compound that I let thoughts of last night come back to me.
Damn that condom being out of date. Surely any repercussion is beyond unlikely? Nonetheless, I know it’s going to take however many days it takes for Mary to get a negative pregnancy test result for me to be able to breathe again.
I promised her I’d be by her side. But in the cold light of day I have to ask myself, just how hard will that be? A baby for fuck’s sake?
“Hey. You look like a man with the world on his shoulders.” Niran’s concerned eyes break me out of my reverie as soon as I pull my bike up.
Mentally shaking myself, needing to keep my personal shit to myself, I offer an excuse that will work. “I just fuckin’ hope the Utah guys can live up to their advertisement.” Personally, I hope they destroy that footage of Alicia. Kid doesn’t deserve that. As for the rest of the shit Devon’s into, I haven’t got words to express how much I need that to stop.
Niran raises his chin. “Utah’s landed. Wrangler’s on his way to pick them up. Prez thought a sit-down might be useful before they arrive. He wants us in church for a pre-meet.”
I can see the sense in that.
“They flying in on their fuckin’ private plane?” If nothing else shouts Utah is different, that does.
“Nah, they’ve flown commercial for some reason.” Niran waits while I back my bike into its parking space. His narrowed eyes watch me carefully as I swing my leg over the saddle. Pointing to my leg, he asks, “You put a strain on that last night? You look a bit stiff, old man.” He grins. “Might want to ask Eva to give you a massage later.”
Something she’s done a few times before. She’s a nurse. And while she kept well away from my dick, knowing I’d shown no interest in her, it still seems wrong to go back to her now. Maybe I can persuade Mary to give me a rub down when I see her? Sure, and like that will end with her panties still on.
Making a note to stop off and buy new condoms later, I don’t give him an answer beyond a noncommittal grunt and follow him inside.
Most brothers are already seated around the table when I walk into our meeting room. Those that aren’t, don’t take long wandering in, some with cups of coffee in their hands. I notice two extra chairs have been placed, ready in anticipation for our visitors. As the brothers enter, they shift toward the top of the table, leaving the spaces empty at the end.
“How the fuck is this going to work?” Brakes asks as he sits down. “We really gonna be comfortable with having a fuckin’ bitch in this room?”
“Whether we are or not,” the VP replies, eyeing the manager of our strip club carefully, “that’s where she’s going to be sat.”
“Give her a chance,” Lost starts, supporting his VP. “See what she’s made of before passing judgement. I, for one, liked what I saw.”
“I can tell you what she’s made of,” Bones states firmly. “Breasts and ass, and no dick. That disqualifies her around here.”
Prez, normally content to let things ride out, smashes his hand on the table. “Satan’s Devils’ regs don’t disqualify women from being members. Utah was correct on that. Wait, keep your opinions locked up until you meet her. Then, see if you can tell me if a woman with her credentials requested to prospect here, whether or not you’d let her.”
“Fuck that!” Dusty snorts. “I’d fuckin’ rather turn in my patch.”
“And I’d fuckin’ take it off you.” Lost’s hand hits the table again. “Swift has skills which we need to get the sergeant-at-arms’ kid off the hook, let alone put a stop to Devon’s other business. We’ll be fu
ckin’ polite to her. Show any fuckin’ disrespect and we risk her heading back to Utah, taking their fuckin’ help with her.”
“Didn’t know you’d adopted a kid, Grumbler?” Pennywise is looking at me shrewdly. “You got an ol’ lady now?”
“Stick on topic,” I growl.
Salem immediately raises an eyebrow. “If you have, you gotta bring it to the table sooner or later.”
I suppose he’s right. I throw them a bone. “Looks like the wind’s blowing that way, but it’s early days, okay? The enforcer’s right, so if you’ve any objection to her, let me know now.” I don’t know what I’ll do if they have—use my fists to persuade them to my way of thinking, probably.
“Looked into her background when I was trying to trace the photographer, she’s good. I’ll give my vote.” Token makes a supporting statement.
“Didn’t see much of her, but I could tell Patsy likes her,” Bones puts in.
Kink chuckles. “So we’ll be the chapter where fuckin’ ol’ ladies are old. Is that our criteria now?”
“Like you’d worry about fuckin’ criteria.” Blaze rolls his eyes at him. “If it’s warm and willing, you’d give it a try.”
“Don’t call my fuckin’ ol’ lady old,” Dart snarls.
“Children, children.” One side of Lost’s mouth is upturned. “If you want to vote now while we’re waiting, anyone have any objections to Mary as Grumbler’s ol’ lady?”
“I haven’t got any objections so long as she won’t expect to sit around the table with us.” Bones gets another dig in at Swift.
Prez raises an eyebrow at the treasurer who has the sense to shut up. Then the voting starts in earnest.
Apart from Patsy, there’s not been another old lady voted in in San Diego for years, least none that are still around. Dart’s woman, Alex, came as a done deal with him from Tucson.
I hadn’t expected any objections, but like most things, the brothers string it out, Snips wanting to hold out until he’d first met the bitch. His words, not mine. My growl in his direction and Pennywise’s slap around his head, soon has him shutting his mouth.
Grumbler's Ride: Satan's Devils MC San Diego #2 Page 27