“But you can’t guarantee it?”
“I can never guarantee how any pregnancy will proceed,” she responds honestly. “Taking into account your age and its toll on you, as well as the possible genetic problems with a baby, if you don’t want to continue, it won’t be a problem. This will have a major effect on both your lives.”
She’s not kidding. Of course I had worries when I was carrying Alicia, what mother doesn’t? But it had been a smooth pregnancy, and an uncomfortable but not difficult birth. What I hadn’t done was stress out for nine months about whether I’d made the right choice and expected nothing other than a healthy baby at the end of it.
“My job,” the doctor leans forward, “is to give you all the facts. You’ve both got a lot to think about. You could look at this as an unexpected blessing, or the outcome of a mistake you didn’t expect to make with ramifications you can’t live with.”
Grumbler raises his fingers. “Is there a risk to Mary? Could it affect her health? Could she…”
As his voice trails off, the doctor looks sympathetic. “Carrying a baby isn’t easy, even for a woman much younger. Yes, there will be a strain on your heart, Mary, as well as on your back. You will need more monitoring than you did with your daughter.”
“You’ve given us a lot to think about,” Grumbler states, reaching over and squeezing my hand. “In the meantime, while we’re thinking it through, are there any dos and don’ts? Can Mary ride on my bike?”
Dr Woodward laughs. “Yes. Just avoid anything too strenuous, have a good diet and take the vitamins I’ll prescribe. Listen to your body. If you get tired, rest, if you’re fine, get on and enjoy life. Stressing out and worrying won’t be good for any of you.”
I think I’m in a daze as I exit the hospital carrying my bag of vitamins. Both of us remain silent until we’re in the car.
“We need to talk.”
“Too fuckin’ right,” Grumbler grumbles. As I start to bristle, thinking he’s going to tell me the pregnancy can’t proceed, he surprises me. “Look, Mary. I know you loved Dave and that I can’t replace him. Don’t want to. I want my own space in your heart which is big enough for us both. But I don’t want to hear one more person call you Mrs with a name that’s not mine. Next time we fuckin’ come here, I want you to be Mrs Winslow.”
I gasp in air, then splutter out, “Did you just ask me to marry you?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” He shakes his head, then, cautiously looks at me, his eyebrow raised in challenge. “So, what do you say?”
We’ve got a heap of issues to work through. We could decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and lose the baby and have to deal with the grief. We could decide there’s too much risk involved and end any possibility now and always live with the regret. But as I look at the handsome man sitting next to me, I know I can get through anything with him beside me.
So what answer can I give, but throw myself into his arms, and sob out a yes?
When Dave died, I never thought I’d find happiness again. Loneliness had driven me to go looking, but in the wrong direction as it turned out. I’d never have given a biker a second look, or not one that wasn’t to ensure he wasn’t heading in the same direction as I.
He might not be the smoothest talker in the world, his manners might be gruff, but he’s the man I want in my life.
When he finishes ravishing my mouth, I pull back, holding him at arm’s length. “I love you.”
“Kinda guessed that,” he smirks, “with you having my kid and agreeing to wear my ring on your finger. But, if we’re into big declarations, I love you, too.”
I can give as good as I get. I roll my eyes. “Kinda guessed that,” I reply.
Chapter Forty
Grumbler
Jeez, where does the time go? It’s been four weeks since we handed over Devon, and the days have flown by. On the personal front, things couldn’t be better. Mary and Alicia have moved into my house, with the result that it’s become a home. It feels warm and welcoming every night when I return. Almost daily, I notice little changes, a vase of flowers here, a throw cushion there, each addition being an enhancement.
I’d bought the place so long ago with dreams I’ve long since forgotten. I might have had to wait almost a quarter of a century, but it’s all come together now. I love having my two ladies there, and they in turn have settled in well. Which, on Alicia’s part might have a lot to do with the small car I’d bought for her. Oh, and the thousand dollars I’d passed on to her—her share of the money I’d got out of Devon.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the idea I might become a dad, and I’ll be fucked if I don’t like it. The only cloud being, neither Mary nor I can get our hopes up. Nature might put an end to our dreams any day now. It’s going to be a long seven months. It’s a tough situation to deal with, but I’m determined to be her rock, to be there for her whatever the outcome.
The hardest part is not hovering over her, trying to ensure she doesn’t do too much. A smile curves my lips. Last night, she chased me out of the house with the fucking hoover when I tried to take over. I hadn’t gone far, just to the barn I’m fixing up so I can work on bikes at home. I have a need to be close to her, even though I might drive her crazy at times.
How did I, a wizened biker who thought the best of his life was over, end up with so much to look forward to? Mary’s stolen my heart, and I, lucky bastard, appear to own hers.
I still work, splitting my time between home and the club so neither suffers. My brothers mean no less to me now, it’s as though my heart’s been augmented. There’s space for both.
Currently it’s club business which absorbs me. I’m seated in church listening avidly to the update Prez is giving. Today we’re finding out if handing Devon over alive was worth it.
“Utah wants to remain under the radar, so they’re working with Devil’s team—Sean and Nessa Cooper in particular—and passing the info to the feds that way. The feds have launched an intensive national operation to raid the homes of the users who downloaded the content, and having passed the information on to Interpol, similar operations are continuing in other countries.
“Christ, that must be a shit ton of work. How many fucking feds are involved in this?” Bones asks, after sniffing and rubbing his nose.
“Enough to take the heat away from RICO investigations against MCs I would hope,” Pennywise states.
“From your mouth to God’s ears.” Salem grins broadly.
I agree with the sentiment but sincerely doubt any great man upstairs would be listening in. If he is, he may want to cover his ears.
“What about the people who maintain the site?” Token leans forward, clasping his hands on the table.
Prez nods at Blaze. “They were the first people arrested. Feds stepped in and continued maintaining the site until such time as they rounded up what they could of the subscribers.”
“And Devon?” I ask.
“Sung like a fuckin’ bird according to all accounts. He’s in protective custody now.”
But he won’t be forever, and I think Swift will make good on her word. I remember how coldly she’d told me, child abusers don’t last long inside.
“So, to my mind, all’s good,” Prez sums up. He raises his eyes and looks around the table. “I think us working with Utah has borne results. It’s shown what can be achieved when we all pull together and work to each other’s strengths.”
He won’t get any objection from me. It was down to Utah that Alicia’s future is now secured, with no porn video waiting in the wings to come back and bite her.
“They’re certainly less secretive now,” the VP observes. “And, what’s more, Snatcher passed on his thanks for our involvement. Seems we’ve cultivated some mutual respect.”
“Drummer’s well pleased,” Prez agrees. “And there are doubts that Utah is shielding Stormy now. Maybe he really is dead or out of the country.”
I tend to agree. If Swift knew where the man was, she’d ma
ke sure he took his punishment. That man’s a darn coward for running, and she’ll have no time for such men.
“They still looking for him?” I ask.
“According to Snatcher, yes. But as he said, they can’t focus on finding a man who doesn’t want to be found, not when there’s other important business to conduct. I tend to agree with him, and so does Drummer.”
“But we’ll all be keeping our eyes out?”
Prez raises his chin. “Of fuckin’ course.” He rubs at his forehead. “It might be out of our hands now. Drummer’s going to be speaking to the Wretched Soulz as soon as Snatcher declares him out bad.”
If he crosses the dominant’s path, they’re not going to buy him a beer. But the man brought it on himself by disappearing. Briefly the table goes quiet.
“Prez?” Salem waggles his hand and breaks the silence. “I’d like to propose something.” He pauses, then shakes his head. “Hate to admit it but Swift’s one in a million. I reckon there’s a lot I could learn from her. I was wondering if she could run a course on interrogation techniques. It’s possible other enforcers will be interested.”
The table erupts in laughter.
“Run a fuckin’ course? You’ll be wanting to take health and safety next, Brother,” Snips chuckles.
“Sounds like the Satan’s Devils are trying to join a corporate world. Perhaps we should think about what fuckin’ courses we could run?”
“Bondage, courtesy of Kink.” Scribe answers Brakes with a smirk.
“Pole dancing from the VP’s woman.” This is from Token.
Dart sits forward and growls, “I’ll bleach your fuckin’ eyes if you’ve been ogling my ol’ lady, asshole.”
While Bones shakes his head, he says “Swift doesn’t need any lessons from her. Did you catch sight of her on that fuckin’ pole?”
“Sure did,” Deuce confirms, grinning widely. “It was then I stopped wondering what Road saw in her.” He gives a soft whistle and makes an immature pumping gesture with his hand.
“She’d break off your fuckin’ dick.” Reboot rolls his eyes.
“Getting back to Salem’s suggestion…” Niran’s voice is serious. “I think it’s a great idea, and I’m sure there are other suggestions she can pass on to the enforcers. Hell, that woman hasn’t just read about them, she’s fuckin’ lived them.”
“I agree,” Lost says. “I’ll speak to Drummer about it.”
“Like anyone would want to learn from a woman.” Snips eyes have opened wide.
“Were you not fuckin’ there?” His eyes might be wide, but mine are rolling. “I admit I was one to reserve judgement until I met her, but from what I could see, I have no problem riding with her as I would any brother.”
“Me neither.” Salem backs me up. “And if anyone else wants to call me a pussy for wanting to learn from her, I’ll see them in the ring after this meeting. Starting with you, Snips.”
Snips raises his hands, palms forward. “Hey, I was just making an observation. Didn’t mean anything by it. I can’t afford to lose more teeth.” He smiles a goofy smile, showing he’s making a good point and also demonstrating that two weeks back, we knocked him out and dragged him to the dentist. The offending tooth couldn’t be saved and had to be removed. Strangely, he’s not thanked us for it, though his pain level has decreased.
Salem snorts. “I’ll leave your teeth alone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have other targets.”
“That’s no fun, Brother. We already know the outcome. Snips will be screaming and crying, not even worth betting on.”
“Give him a one-time pass, Salem,” Dart suggests. “Maybe when you learn those torture techniques, you can use him to demonstrate on. It might make him reconsider whether Swift knows what she’s talking out.”
“I like that,” the enforcer replies, and gives a grin better seen on a Halloween skeleton.
Snips has gone white. We all give him a moment, then the table, once again, erupts in laughter.
“Your fuckin’ face!” Keeper calls down the table.
Prez’s head moves side to side, and for a moment his eyes go to the ceiling, then he bangs the gavel. “Okay, is there any other business, or can we wrap this up?”
Brothers shrug, Token closes his laptop. I’m the only one to raise my hand.
“Sergeant-at-arms?”
“Yeah. Well.” I gather my thoughts. I’m normally a private person, but the coming months might mean I need my brothers around me, and I want them to be prepared.
“Mary and I have spent the past few weeks coming to some decisions, and she’s given me permission to share them with you.” We’d gone back and forth about whether to keep things to ourselves, but in the end, we decided we needed support. “Some of you have been badgering me to share shit with you, but until now, I’ve stayed quiet. The long and short of it is, while it was highly unlikely, Mary’s pregnant.”
“She is?” Dart’s eyes widen. “Didn’t think it was possible, Brother.”
“Old man’s still got it. I’ll be damned.” Bones is smiling.
I don’t take offence at either comment, it had surprised me too. “It was confirmed two weeks ago. There are risks to her and the baby. For a while, we didn’t know which way to go.”
“She’s keeping it?” Niran asks, quietly.
“May not be the most sensible thing, but yes. We are.” I change the pronoun to show I’m invested in this as well.
“Is that dangerous?”
I grimace. “It could be. Pregnancy at her age will be harder on her. She might miscarry any day, in fact, that’s highly likely. Or, we could find out the baby’s so poorly, the pregnancy has to be terminated.”
“Or, you could end up with a precious bundle of joy?” Bones queries.
“And I fuckin’ hope we do.” I don’t want them to doubt it.
“You need time off to be with your ol’ lady?” Lost asks.
“Maybe. I want to be there for all her check-ups. They’ll be monitoring her carefully. It will hit us hard if anything goes south, however much we think we’re prepared for it.”
Salem leans back, clasping his hands behind his head. “Christ, Brother. You’re wanting us to be there for you. You don’t need to ask us, that you already know.”
I nod. I do know, but if they understand our worry, then that’s a weight off my mind. I don’t like hiding that I have shit going on in my private life. Now I know, if the worse comes to worse, they’ll understand.
Prez drums the table with his fingers. “Take what time you need, Brother. If it comes at a bad time, Niran can step in and deputise for you.”
“You want me to step down?” I’ve no doubt Niran would be able to take on my role.
“No, I fuckin’ don’t,” Lost replies firmly. “But if you’re called away when shit hits the fan, it’s good to have a backup plan.”
“What can we do to help?” Dusty asks.
This I’ve been thinking about. “We’ve kept ourselves to ourselves while wondering what’s best to do. I know you think we’re probably crazy, but now we’ve both come to the decision to let Mother Nature play her hand, it’s meant us doing some hard thinking. Now we’ve got our path planned, I want us to come out of hiding. I’d like Mary to become comfortable around the MC.”
“You’ve not brought her here,” Scribe points out.
I shrug. “As I said, we had to get our heads on straight. This kind of blindsided both of us.”
“And she knows we know?” the VP asks.
“Yes. She knows I’m telling you now.” And hell, I’ve got it easy. Mary wanted to talk to Alicia by herself and should be doing that now.
“Well the answer’s simple, isn’t it? She’s got to get her patch, and what better time than at a party to welcome you both?”
“Might be more than that.” I grin. “I’ve asked her to marry me. We’re going to the courthouse next weekend.”
Lost’s eyes narrow. “Is this our official invite, Brother?”
&
nbsp; I nod. “I suppose so, if any of you want to go.”
“You fuckin’ what?” Brakes eyes widen comically. “Of course we fuckin’ want to go. And afterward, a double party. Your wedding and you officially putting your patch on her.”
Now I’ve got them just where I want them—a party, a celebration—exactly the right way to welcome my old lady.
“Sounds fuckin’ ace, Brother.” I glance at Prez, making sure he’s happy about this.
Reading my unspoken question, Lost snorts. “It’s been a while since we had something to celebrate. You really think I’d say no, Brother? Let me be the first to say how fuckin’ happy I am for you.” A cloud passes over his eyes. “The next few months are going to be fuckin’ hard for you both. Goes without saying we’ll be here for whatever you need. I’m glad you didn’t try to keep that to yourself.”
“Hear! Hear!” Salem bangs the table loudly.
“One more thing.” I eye my brothers one by one. “You can say what you want to me in private but leave the ‘old’ jokes aside when you’re in front of Mary. She doesn’t need to be reminded of that every day.”
“Compared to you, Brother, she’s a fuckin’ baby.”
I roll my eyes. I don’t need to be reminded I’ve cradle snatched—not when Mary’s worked so hard to convince me it’s how I feel in my mind and not in my body. I’m not considering hanging my motorcycle boots up, can’t ever see that time coming if I’m honest. I’m determined the kid will give me a new lease on life and will do everything I can to keep up with him or her.
“So, this party. Alicia coming along?”
“Can’t leave her out,” I reply to the VP. As far as I’m concerned, Mary and Alicia are a package deal.
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