by Tabitha Bree
It’s never too late to pump the brakes.
Just because I gave into temptation once doesn’t mean I will do it again. If anything, I scratched the itch. I no longer have to wonder what would it be like. Been there, done that, got the hickey.
“It’s over now.”
I’m shocked out of my trance by Sadie grabbing me again.
“Huh?”
“You’re biting your lip pretty hard there,” she laughs. “I figured you were scared of the speeding down the runway thing.”
I force myself to relax my face. I have to pull it together before I give myself away. It’s just a week. A week of keeping my cool in a tropical paradise. I can do this.
“I’m fine, just excited to get to the resort. This is going to be great.”
“That’s the spirit,” Sadie says with a grin. “This is going to be a week we’ll never forget.”
Hopefully, for the right reasons.
We depart the plane in a single file, the balmy Hawaiian air engulfing us as we cross the tarmac to the terminal. Kona International Airport couldn’t look any different to LAX.
The hut-shaped structures sprawl out over the grounds, warm and welcoming compared to the intimidating buildings you expect to see at an airport. When we walk inside, there are staff waiting to initiate us with a traditional lei over our heads. The air is warm and sweet, with notes of plumeria and coconut-scented sunblock. It’s not until we’re standing out the front waiting for the transport team to pick us up in rental cars that I finally see Xavier. He couldn’t look more out of place, with his jet-black t-shirt and the same ripped skinny jeans he always wears. When he sees me staring, his face lights up with that same cocky smile.
“I didn’t see you on the plane,” he says, strutting over to me. “It was a shame.”
“If you’re about to say anything to do with the mile-high club, just don’t.”
He laughs. “Well… I do have particularly fond memories of being in a bathroom with you.”
Despite my efforts to pretend it never happened, Xavier always found a way to work it into every conversation. And I walked right into that one.
“I hope those memories can sustain you, because that’s all you’ll be getting,” I say, pushing the stray hairs on my neck back up in the bun where they belong.
“So you say.” Xavier winks at me, and just in time, his ride shows up. “See you at the resort.”
Everyone splits into smaller groups in time for happy hour, but I have something different in mind. As my feet pound the pavement, I focus on my breath, and remind myself of the Michelle Obama picture on my wall.
No distractions.
I need to move my body, burn up the energy that’s been coursing through my veins ever since I watched Xavier flick the lock on that bathroom door. I am restless… agitated… but every time my foot comes into contact with the ground, I feel more determined and in control.
Nothing will get in my way.
Eventually, the houses turn into cute shops and restaurants as I reach the center of town. The day is nearly over, and I walk to the shoreline, enjoying my very first Hawaiian sunset. There is something magic about this time of day; all the deep oranges and reds of the sky, the black silhouettes of the palm trees. I fill my lungs with salty air as I catch my breath. There’s no bustle here, no people rushing around to get from A to B. It’s not until I can see it for myself—the people dawdling down the sidewalk, surfers floating on top of the gentle waves—that I really grasp the idea of island time. There are no schedules to keep. Just the sun, sand and ocean to enjoy… along with a delicious array of cocktails.
Not that I can be trusted with alcohol.
I’m not sure who to keep a closer eye on while we’re here, Xavier or myself. Maybe the paparazzi weren’t watching my every move, but I’d certainly proven how dangerous a casual drink could be.
I need to debrief. I need to come clean about my scandalous rendezvous in the ladies so that I can move on with my life. And I know just who to call.
I make the return journey back to the resort, enjoying the scenery as I go. Gorgeous plumeria blooming, random bushels of apple bananas lying on the side of the road for anyone to enjoy. When I approach the bushes near our accommodation, I even stumble upon a family of chicks, the mother chicken guarding her babies like a boss. I need some of that mama chick defensive energy.
But I need it to guard my vagina.
I buzz into my room and dive under the shower for a cool wash, before slumping onto my bed, belly-down. Deciding a video call is the way to go, I pull my laptop in front of me, waiting for my friend to answer.
“Hawaii must be pretty boring, or do you just miss my cheerful face already?” Adam says by way of a greeting.
I snort. “I think I just miss your great jokes.”
“Well, I hope you’re not calling so I can hype Hawaii up, because you know I think it’s the most overrated place in the world,” he says, launching into one of his renowned rants. “The sweaty humid weather, those tiny lizards that pee on you when you sleep, and don’t even get me started on the fucking mosquitoes.”
“Okay, I regret dialing this number.”
He grins through his facial hair, which has grown into an actual beard since I saw him last.
“What’s going on with you, Thorne? It looks like a wild animal has died on your face.”
“Ha ha.” He strokes his chin. “Just trying something a little different, fitting in with the indie film scene.”
“Dee!”
Adam is pushed sideways and Evie comes into view, her beautiful, beaming face filling the screen.
“It’s been ages!” she says, even though it’s only been a few weeks. “How’s the film going? Aren’t you in Hawaii? Oh my God, is something wrong?”
“Calm down, everything’s fine,” I laugh. “I just wanted to chat with you guys.”
Evie’s face melts like it’s the sweetest thing she’s ever heard. Adam, on the other hand, narrows his eyes and frowns.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I say, deadpanning him.
“Because I’ve known you too fucking long to buy any of the shit you just said. You called for a reason. Now spill.”
Evie looks at Adam and makes an “ooh” sound, returning her attention to the screen and waiting for me to spill the tea.
Well, here goes nothing.
“Okay, so here it is.” I take a deep breath. “A few nights ago, I had sex with Xavier Black in the bathroom of a dive bar, and under no circumstances can it happen again. So I wanted to come clean with you guys to keep myself in check. Like when you want to start working out and you have an exercise buddy to keep you committed. It’s an accountability thing.”
Both of them are in a stunned silence, giving me only a facial expression to go off—Evie, with an open-mouth grin. Adam, with his nose scrunched up and his mouth down-turned in disgust.
“You had sex with Xavier Black?”
“You had sex in a dirty bathroom?”
I roll my eyes at Adam. “I don’t think the location really matters here.”
“It sure as shit does. I don’t want to unknowingly wash my hand at some place you—”
“Let’s not get off track,” Evie says, pushing Adam’s head with her hand. “I need more details about Xavier Black.”
Even for a sweet girl like Evie, she knows the relevance of sleeping with someone like Xavier. He is Hollywood’s most sought-after bad boy—even after the media started dragging him.
Adam cocks an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I want to be here for this conversation.”
“No stay, stay. I need your help.”
“With what exactly?”
“To tell me to stay away from him. To never touch him again.”
“What’s the big deal?” Adam shrugs. “So you boned some guy? Who cares if you do it again? Why shouldn’t you?”
“Because I hate him? Because the entire world knows about his dirty laundry, and the last thing I wan
t is to be the next girl on the cover of the magazines?”
“Okay, okay, you want my advice?” Adam says, holding up his palm. “Stay away from the Mai Tais.”
I huff, diverting my eyes to Evie. “You got anything better than that?”
Evie smiles, scrunching her face. “Maybe not so much advice, but just a word of caution.”
I drag my eyebrows together wearily. “Okay?”
Her face softens sympathetically.
“That line between hate and love? Yeah… not so thick.”
16
Xavier
Hawaii is awesome. Blue skies, beautiful clear ocean, tropical cocktails of various kinds. What’s not to love? You’d be an idiot to ask for more.
But I still can’t keep my mind from wanting.
Dee practically vanished after we arrived at the resort. I didn’t see her at dinner or around town during happy hour, which was surprising, because our romp in the bathroom hadn’t wavered her resolve to keep an eye on me. I expected her to be keeping a tight leash on me, especially in Hawaii. So maybe she had something more important going on.
But I’m done messing around anyway—even if she doesn’t trust me when I say that.
The truth is, I don’t want her to think that night at the bar was just me playing games with her; another ploy to derail her plans to keep me in line; a distraction. I have no interest in getting her in trouble with Katherine or getting in the way of her career. But I have a feeling Dee wouldn’t believe me, even if I said that. So we’ve kept up our usual routine; me cracking cheeky jokes and her threatening to junk punch me.
Production has organized for our first full day in Hawaii to be a free day, hoping we’ll get the tourist stuff out of our system and be ready to focus the day after. Most of the crew are going for a hike to the volcano, but not exactly being ‘one of the gang’, I’m staying behind. I have the tendency to be an outsider—a position I know I put myself in. But it would be weird if I started trying to hang out with everyone now.
I’m glad to see Vik in the dining room when I come downstairs, sitting behind a bowl of muesli, yogurt, and fresh, tropical fruit.
“Didn’t feel like playing in some lava?” I say, pulling up a chair beside him.
“An eight-mile hike in eighty-five-degree heat? Not my idea of a vacation.” He laughs. “I have something else in mind.” He checks the time on his watch. “Feel like hitting the waves?”
“Ah, sure?”
“Great. Meet me at the beach in twenty minutes. Do you have something to wear?”
I gesture down to my outfit of a black t-shirt and shorts.
Vik laughs, reminiscent of his evil sea lord cackle. “You can’t wear that, you’re in Hawaii!” He stands, tucking the newspaper he was reading under his arm. “Tell you what, meet me at the gift shop instead.”
As Vik leaves for his room, Dee and Sadie appear at the stairs. Dee’s wearing denim shorts and a t-shirt tied in a knot and I have to stop myself from salivating. When our eyes meet, I give her a nod. She pulls her sunglasses over her eyes, links arms with Sadie, and disappears out the front doors.
“You’ve got to be joking.”
Vik is holding up a pair of bright shorts and a shirt to match, covered in flowers, pineapples, and tiny men on surfboards. “It’s pink.”
“It’s orange,” Vik says with a growl. “Come on, try on the shirt.”
He’s sporting his own Hawaiian ensemble, only his is bright blue, and he has a little straw hat to top it off. Somehow, it all suits him.
“I don’t do colors,” I say, flicking through the rack to find something that doesn’t say ‘I’m a dickhead tourist’ in flashing neon lights.
“And maybe that’s why trouble follows you around so much.” He grimaces, nodding his head at my current outfit. “Too much black. Are you a mafia lieutenant? A member of the Addams Family?”
I laugh. “Black’s my color.”
“Maybe it’s time for a change.”
He pushes the outfit at my chest and I laugh, unable to hold him off any longer. “Okay, you win.”
I take the clothes to the counter and pay before heading to the change rooms to meet my doom. I stare at the mirror, chuckling in disbelief. I can’t believe I let this old man best me.
“Are you coming out or are you going to look at yourself in the reflection all day?”
I sigh, opening the door. “I look like an idiot.”
A grin spreads across Vik’s face as he takes me in. “Now that’s more like it! Hurry up, we have an appointment.”
For the entire walk down to the beach, he won’t tell me what’s going on. It’s not until we’re stepping across the warm sand towards a tanned man and three surfboards the penny drops.
“Aloha!” the tanned man says. “I’m Kai. How are we feeling this morning?”
Vik shakes his hand. “Feeling good Kai. This is Xavier.”
Kai squints at me. “Yeah, I thought I recognized you.”
“Kind of hard in this ridiculous thing.” I pull the shirt away from my chest.
“Naw, you look good, bro! Now, who’s ready to get started?”
Vik wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to hit the waves. I should’ve known he wasn’t talking about some old man frolic in the shallows. He speeds through the lesson on the sand, eager to get in the water as soon as possible. I’m starting to regret coming with him. But at least getting in the waves means I can take half of this stupid outfit off.
We carry our boards to the shore and paddle out the way Kai showed us. Every time I glide over a breaking wave, I get spritzed in the face. But the salty water is refreshing. Invigorating.
Maybe this trip away is just what I need.
With our legs dangling on either side of our boards, we wait for the first appropriate-size wave. I’m not a hero—I’m happy to wait for a small one.
Back on the shore, I see someone who sticks out from the sun bathers and families on vacation. Someone skulking in the corner near the bushes, a large camera at the ready. Pointed at us.
“Great, they found me,” I grumble, stooping my head. The last thing I need is a photo of me going ass-up over a wave on every front page.
Vik follows my eyeline and settles on the paparazzo.
“You’re a famous guy. How have you handled the pap over the years?” I ask.
Vik shrugs, swinging his feet through the water. “I don’t give them anything entertaining. They followed me a bit in my younger years, but they lost interest eventually. I’m afraid my life isn’t very exciting.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “You don’t seem to have that problem.”
“It’s far less exciting than they make it out to be, I can tell you that much.”
I accepted what people thought about me a long time ago… but Vik thinking I’m the douchebag, womanizing, party boy that the media paints me as makes me feel more self-conscious than ever. “To be honest, I wish they would just leave me alone.”
“It’s never too late to rewrite your story,” he says, moving onto his stomach. “Now, how about we give them something to photograph? I could use a laugh.”
Going ass-up alone feels pathetic, but making a fool of myself next to Vik sounds like fun. I grin and get on my stomach. “Let’s do this.”
“Okay dudes, just like we did on shore,” Kai says, looking at the wave behind us. “Now, paddle!”
I work my arms as fast as they will go, and, of course, Vik is way ahead of me. I sense the wave coming up behind us and I keep going, paddling through the burn.
“On your feet!” I hear Kai yell out from where we started. I grab the edge of my board, popping up on my left knee and right foot like we practiced. I wobble and look beside me as Vik gets into a standing position. Completely sure of himself.
To hell with it.
I stand up and Vik shoots me a huge grin, balancing himself with his arms on either side. “This is great! Did I not tell you this would be great?!”
I laugh as we stream throug
h the water. For someone who’s had all the fans, all the parties, and all the fame, I cannot remember the last time I felt like this. Pure joy. Balls deep in fun.
“This is incredible!” I call out to Vik. “Whooooo!”
And just like that, I lose my balance. The board goes up from under me and the next thing I know, I’m tumbling through the waves like a pathetic piece of seaweed. My body hits the sand and I come up for some much-needed air, and see that Vik is washed up on the shore along with me. We take one look at each other and burst out laughing. The paparazzo is snapping away from his creeper position in the corner.
And I couldn’t give a rat’s ass.
We settle in for afternoon drinks by the ocean. The resort has tables and chairs set up right there on the sand, and we lean back on our sun loungers.
“This is living, am I right?”
“You can’t beat it,” Vik says, cradling his whole coconut drink in his lap. “Except, of course, if Lizzy was here.”
I nod. Lizzy’s Vik’s wife. It’s his second marriage, but they’ve been together for over twenty years.
“How’s your love life going?” he asks, sipping through an elaborate curly straw.
I snort. “Haven’t you read page six?”
“I don’t want that version, I want the real version.”
I look at Vik, drawing my eyebrows together. It’s been a long time since anyone’s asked me about my relationships, except for Jack. Most people read pieces in gossip columns and feel too awkward to ask for the details, or assume they know the full story.
“I’ve always had a complicated relationship with women,” I say, twirling the tiny umbrella between my fingers. “My mum left when I was twelve. My dad’s a great man, typical nice guy.” I laugh bitterly. “I think she just got bored.”
“That must have been rough.”
I shrug. “It was fine. My dad was more than enough. I made it to senior year, got my first girlfriend.” I smile into my drink. “God, I thought we would get married. Isn’t that stupid?”