“If I’d told you then you would have had to tell my dat, and he would have thrown me out of the house. You know he would. If he knew I was here right now he probably wouldn’t be happy.”
“But to just leave without telling anyone where you were going.” She stared at her hands folded in her lap. “I was worried sick until I found the note you left.”
“I’m sorry—” she began, when a deep voice interrupted her.
“It’s not her fault.”
* * *
Eli stepped into the room. “It’s not Emma’s fault. It was mine. I didn’t support her.”
He saw both women look up at him but he focused his attention on Emma. “I let you down when you needed me the most. I can’t change what I did. But I want to make up for it.”
“So, you’re the dat,” Lillian said.
“I am.”
“What do you intend to do?” Lillian Graber’s tone was tart, her eyes direct on him.
He met her gaze. “I’ve asked Emma to marry me but she’s not schur she can trust me.”
“Well, she’d have reason for that, wouldn’t she?”
“True,” he agreed, surprised at her bluntness. Lillian had always seemed like a quiet woman cowed by her mann. “But a man can change. This man can change.”
“Now’s not the time for this,” Emma told him.
“Nee, you’re right. How is Abraham?”
“The doctor just came in and told us Daed came through the surgery to insert a stent just fine. Mamm’s waiting for the nurse to take her to see him.”
“That’s gut. He’s a strong man. I’m schur he’ll be fine now.” He took off his hat and sat in the chair that the doctor had vacated.
An awkward silence fell over the room.
“Is there anything I can get you?” Eli asked Lillian.
She shook her head and kept her eyes on the doorway.
“I tried to get Mamm to get something to eat but she wouldn’t,” Emma said.
“I can’t eat. Not until I see Abraham.”
Eli watched Emma rise and walk over to a table where there were pots of coffee and hot water. He joined her and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Are you allrecht?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. “I’m fine.” She fixed a cup of tea and added creamer and two packets of sugar. Then she carried it to her mother and pressed it into her hands. “Drink this, Mamm.”
“Danki.” She sipped it, then winced. “How much sugar did you put in here?”
“Enough to keep you going until you eat.”
Lillian shivered. “Why do they keep it so cold in hospitals?”
Emma started to take off her sweater but Eli shook his head. He set his coffee on a nearby table, rose, and took off the jacket he wore. He draped it over Lillian’s shoulders.
She glanced up in surprise but didn’t refuse the jacket. “Danki, Eli.” She sipped her tea. “Is your mudder still visiting her schweschder in Ohio?” she asked politely.
“She’s home now.”
A nurse walked in and Lillian jumped to her feet, nearly spilling what was left of her tea.
“Mrs. Graber, you can see your husband for a few minutes now.”
She set the cup of tea down on a table and turned to Emma. “Can my daughter come, too?”
“No, Mamm. It’s best if I don’t see him now,” Emma said quietly. “I don’t want him to get upset in his condition.”
Lillian studied her for a long moment and then she nodded. “You might be right.” She handed Eli his jacket and left the room with the nurse.
“I was surprised when Gideon told me your mudder called Hannah’s shop and asked you to come here.”
“You were surprised? Imagine how I felt.” She rose to pace the room. “I almost didn’t come. I mean, when I went to see her and my dat he told her to shut the door and she did.”
“But you couldn’t not come when she called. Your heart is too big.”
She sighed. “It’s not our way.” She sank down in her chair. “She was so scared. When I saw that, when she thanked me for coming, I couldn’t be mad.”
“What happens now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Will you go stay with them?”
She shook her head. “You must be joking. My dat won’t allow that.”
Eli didn’t know what to say. She looked up every time someone walked past the room but no one else came in. He reached out and took her hands. They were ice-cold. So he got up and put his jacket around her shoulders, then went to the table with the hot drinks and made her a fresh cup of tea.
“Here,” he said and put the cup in her hands.
She looked up at him, surprised.
“Your hands are like ice. If you don’t want to drink it, at least hold the cup and get warmed up.”
She sipped at the tea. “Shouldn’t be much longer. Doctor said Mamm could only see him for a few minutes in the recovery room.”
He shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Danki for coming.”
“You should have called me.”
She shrugged. “I’m used to doing things on my own.”
He put his hand on her arm. “Emma, let me in. Let me take care of you and John.”
Lillian appeared in the doorway. Emma stood and Eli’s hand fell away.
“Your dat woke up for a few minutes,” Lillian said. “Complained about being here. Wanted to know when he could go home. Then he fell back asleep. Nurse said he’ll sleep until morning and I should go home now.”
She pressed her fingers to her trembling lips. “He’s hooked up to all these machines.”
Emma hurried to her side and slipped her arm around her mudder’s waist. “Mamm, the doctor said he did well and can go home tomorrow or the next day.”
Eli stood. “I’ll take you home. You need to get some rest. Both of you.”
Lillian nodded. “Danki, Eli.”
The three of them left the waiting room and made their way out of the hospital and to the parking lot where Eli’s buggy was parked.
Emma insisted her mudder sit in the front seat and she got into the back. An awkward silence fell again as they rode to Lillian’s house. When they got there Lillian and Emma got out.
“Lillian, I’ll be happy to take you to get Abraham from the hospital when he’s ready. If you think it won’t upset him. I mean, that Emma and I…” He trailed off, not knowing how to phrase it.
“Danki, Eli. I appreciate it. I’ll think about it and let you know.”
Emma walked her mudder to the door and stood there talking to her for a few moments, then she returned to the buggy and got into the front seat.
“You allrecht?” he asked her when she remained silent as he turned down the road to Hannah’s house. “Emma?”
When she said nothing, he turned to look at her and realized she was just sitting there, her hands twisted together in her lap, trembling.
He pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and pulled her into his arms.
“I thought he was going to die,” she sobbed. “I tried so hard to comfort Mamm and tell her Daed was going to be fine. But I thought he was going to die and I’d never have forgiven myself because we had this…this hardness between us.”
“You can cry now,” he said as he patted her back. “You don’t have to hold it all in anymore, my brave girl.”
She took a shuddering breath and drew back. Eli pulled a bandanna from his pocket and dried her tears with it.
“This is my fault,” she said quietly. “It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come back. If I hadn’t stopped by the house with John.”
“What kind of nonsense is this?” he demanded. “There’s no way it’s your fault! Don’t you dare blame yourself for that.”
Emma sank back against her seat looking so sad and defeated, it made him feel guilty for sounding harsh. “I’m sorry. Let me take you someplace and get you something to eat. I bet you haven’t eaten all day.”
She s
hook her head. “I want John. Can we go get John?”
Chapter Twenty
That’s some appetite,” Hannah’s dat said.
Hannah watched Gideon freeze as he reached for his third biscuit. He glanced guiltily at the man, then saw Lester grinning at John.
Hannah smiled as she fed John a spoonful of applesauce. “Look who’s talking. Daed, how many pieces of fried chicken have you eaten?”
Lester chuckled. “Who’s counting?” he asked as he added another chicken leg to his plate. “Your mamm makes the best.”
“And the best biscuits,” Gideon said as he buttered one. He glanced at Hannah and grinned as he bit into it.
There was a knock on the door.
“Kumm!” Lester bellowed.
“Lester!” Mary admonished, getting up to answer it. “Why, Emma, since when do you knock when you come here?”
Emma stepped inside. “Good evening, everyone. I came to pick up John.”
Mary hugged her. “How is your dat?”
“He came through the surgery well. The doctor said he may get to go home tomorrow.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
John banged his hands on the tray of the highchair. Emma moved swiftly to his side and bent to kiss his cheek. “Have you been a gut boppli?”
“He’s always gut,” Hannah assured her. “He ate a lot for supper.”
“Where’s Eli?”
She turned to Gideon. “Waiting for me in the buggy.”
“Have you eaten?” Mary asked.
Emma shook her head. “I didn’t want to leave Mamm and she wouldn’t go to the cafeteria to get anything with me.”
“Then sit and eat. We’ve got plenty.”
Hannah smiled as Mary didn’t take no for an answer, gently pushing Emma into a chair, getting her a plate and silverware, and fussing over her. She’d told her mudder that Emma was staying in a motel room and that she was worried about how Emma was managing.
Then Mary went to the door, opened it, and stepped outside to holler Eli’s name. A few moments later he stepped inside the room. Mary made him sit, and handed him a plate and silverware before she sat to finish her own meal.
Hannah watched Eli give her dat a wary look as he accepted the platter of fried chicken he handed him. Eli didn’t look entirely schur of his welcome from the man of the house as he was passed the big bowl of mashed potatoes.
Eli didn’t know that it wasn’t her dat’s way to make a guest at his table uncomfortable. Now if Eli didn’t do the right thing by Emma and John he’d speak up later, but not when he was sharing a meal in his house.
Emma looked too pale and her eyes were red from crying. She’d chosen a wing and barely nibbled at it and the small portions of mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans. Hannah met her mudder’s gaze and knew that leftovers would be sent home with Emma to eat later when she felt more like it.
“Uh-oh,” Gideon said. Hannah glanced at him. He jerked his head at John, who’d used her lack of attention to push his hands into his dish of applesauce and smear it all over his face and hair.
“John! What have you done!” she cried, but she couldn’t help laughing when he just giggled at her and finger-painted the applesauce all over the tray of the highchair.
“Time to get you cleaned up,” she announced and rose to pick him up.
“I can do it,” Emma began, but Mary touched her hand.
“Eat, kind, you look like a breeze would knock you over right now,” Mary said quietly.
John gurgled happily as Hannah carried him past Gideon, who moved out of the reach of his sticky hands. When John wriggled and wanted his mudder, Hannah bent to let him give Emma a kiss.
But as Hannah walked past Eli and he looked up to smile at his sohn she noticed that John sobered and drew closer to her. She felt sad as she saw the look of disappointment on Eli’s face, which he hid quickly by staring down at his plate. John was still showing he liked Gideon more. Well, she had to hope that would change as he got to know his dat better.
Hannah carried John upstairs and undressed him. She put him in a tub of warm water and bathed him, washing the applesauce out of his hair. He splashed gleefully and whimpered a little when she lifted him out, but he was easily distracted by a plush toy when she lay him on the bed to dry him. She glanced down at her dress. There were damp splotches all down the front of it.
“I think I got as wet as you did, John.” She chuckled as she dried him off and dressed him in a warm sleeper and a sweater. “You are such a wiggle worm!”
“He can’t stay still for a moment,” Emma said as she walked into the room. “He’s always been that way.”
Hannah handed John to her. “All ready for you.”
“Danki for everything today. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t watched him.”
“It was my pleasure. I hope you can get some rest tonight.”
They walked downstairs, and Hannah held John again for a few precious moments so Emma could don her jacket and bonnet. Then John got wrapped in a warm blanket and Emma carried him out to the buggy, where Eli waited. Hannah couldn’t help feeling disappointed that Gideon had left without saying goodbye.
Hannah gently nudged her mudder aside at the sink. “Go fix yourself a cup of coffee and sit down. You went to a lot of trouble feeding all of us.”
“You’ve had a longer day than me working at the shop and taking care of John,” Mary said, but she moved aside and poured herself a cup of coffee.
“I’m not tired. John brightens the day.”
“Hannah, I noticed that John…likes Gideon more than Eli.”
She nodded and sighed. “I think it’s just because Gideon spent more time with him when they first arrived here.”
“Gideon seems to act easier around him,” Mary said slowly, as if she was choosing her words carefully. “I don’t mean to criticize Eli, but he’s awkward with John and so John responds better to Gideon…” She trailed off.
“I think John will accept him more after Eli spends more time with him.” But she’d noticed as well how John had shied away from Eli as she carried him past his dat.
She plunged her hands into the dishwater and was surprised when Gideon came through the kitchen door. “I thought you’d gone.”
He shook his head. “I went out to help your dat in the barn. I figured Eli and Emma needed to talk. I can walk home. If I can wash my hands I’ll dry.”
“Allrecht.” She moved over a little so he could use the left sink and watched him scrub and then rinse his hands. How strong and capable those hands were, she couldn’t help thinking. Yet they could help take care of John with ease, and create such marvelous toys for kinner.
Gideon picked up a dish towel and waited for her to hand him a plate to dry. One eyebrow went up when she continued to stare at his hands. “Hannah?”
She recovered and handed him a plate. A glance at her mudder a few feet away had her blushing. Mary winked at her then took her coffee and left the room, leaving the two of them alone.
Gideon watched Mary leave, then he turned to her. “I stayed because I wanted to talk to you,” he said.
Hannah glanced at him and saw his expression was serious. “Is something wrong?”
“I saw Ruby walk past my shop today,” he said. “I wondered if she stopped by your shop to talk to you and Emma today.”
She nodded and sighed.
“Tell me what she said.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Emma leaned back against the buggy seat as Eli drove them home from supper at Hannah’s house.
“Long day.”
She looked over and watched Eli hold the reins easily in one hand. “I’ll say. Danki for coming to the hospital. I know it wasn’t easy facing my mudder.”
“It had to be harder for you.”
“I thought it would be,” she said thoughtfully as she looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “But she was so upset. And I wonder if she was a little afraid of calling a friend. She
hasn’t had a lot of time outside of home to really make them. My bruders and schweschders keep her busy and my dat is…well, hardly welcoming.”
“The women of the church would have come,” he told her. “They will come to help her with whatever she needs when they hear what’s happened to your dat. I imagine Mary will start making calls first thing in the morning.”
Emma looked at the tote bag sitting on the seat between them. “It was kind of her to send home leftovers from supper.”
“You don’t eat enough to feed a bird. You’ve lost weight.”
She shrugged. “New mudders do sometimes. A boppli keeps us busy.”
When he said nothing for several long minutes she glanced over and saw him frown. “What?”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“If it’s really nothing then tell me.”
“John likes Gideon more than me.”
It sounded so silly. Kind of like when you told your bruder or schweschder, “Mamm likes you best.” She almost laughed. But she could see it really bothered him.
“Why do you say that?”
“Didn’t you see him shy away from me when Hannah walked past me?”
“That doesn’t mean he likes Gideon more. Sometimes bopplin have moods and they aren’t exactly friendly. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“This wasn’t the first time I felt he didn’t want to be with me.”
“I know. But he doesn’t know you as well as Gideon. Give him time.”
They passed her house and she stared at the darkened windows. She hoped that meant that her mudder had gone to bed and was sleeping. The tears began again.
“Emma?”
She shook her head and turned away from him. “I shouldn’t have come back. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come back.”
“We talked about this earlier, Emma. You can’t blame yourself.”
She used her hands to wipe away her tears. “I’m just so tired.” She stared out the window.
“Try to go to bed when you get to the motel.”
She glanced into the back seat. “I intend to. But that’ll depend on John,” she said ruefully.
The Amish Baby Finds a Home Page 15