by S R Nulton
Yew nodded. “That makes more sense.”
“For now,” Jeshu began, “we need to stop at the mouth of the river to get more supplies. What you have worked for the two of you, but we don’t know how long we’ll be out to sea and we don’t want to run short.”
Everyone agreed and it was decided that we would dock in two days for more supplies.
~
That night, Jeshu held me close and asked me what I hoped he wouldn’t.
“How did you calm her down?” He had been gently running his fingers through my hair for a while, almost afraid to bring up the topic. Neither of us had been tired when we went to bed. We just needed together time. Being around people all day after a week of no one else was hard.
“I told her that I had a trigger to. Something that made me scared for no reason. Something that reminded me of times when I wasn’t safe.”
He lay there, still playing with my hair. “What is it?” he asked quietly.
I closed my eyes and savored his touch. I hadn’t been cuddled often in my lifetime and I very much enjoyed the sensation. Then, I couldn’t put it off anymore.
“Third person. My mother likes to talk in third person when she hurts you. It was like she was no longer the one in control. Like she had been taken over by an outside force. I thought that for a long time. Eventually I realized that she just did it to make people more frightened.”
As I spoke, a memory bubbled up, scalding me like liquid fire.
‘Sunny is not happy, Grace. Sunny is not happy at all.’
‘I’m sorry, mother. I won’t do it again.’
‘She knows you won’t, Grace, because she’s going to make sure you have a reminder.’
“Grace.” Jeshu’s voice broke through as he wiped the tears away. “It’s okay, love. She isn’t here and she can’t hurt you anymore.”
I nodded and buried my head in his chest. It was more than the memories though. It was the fear for the child I was carrying that he or she would have to deal with the horrid woman. Or worse, that I would become just like her.
“I have scars too, you know. Some of them I’ve deserved, some by accident, some were given to me through no fault of my own.”
I looked up. “Deserved? How so?” I wanted my mind off of the darkness.
He smiled down at me sadly. “Stone and I were ten. We’d gone out into the city to explore, despite that we’d been told not to. Stone had enough and decided to head home, but I didn’t want to go. I ran when he tried to force me. I wandered into an area of the city where the ancient ruins were still visible and hid under something while Stone ran past. We hadn’t learned how to feel for each other yet, so he didn’t notice me.
“Anyway, while I was hiding there, a cave-in happened. I was terrified. The ground had dropped right out from under me. It was so dark I couldn’t see anything and I was so scared I couldn’t summon a flame. I was trapped there for hours before I was found. Unfortunately it wasn’t by someone who wanted to help me.”
He shuddered and suddenly it was me comforting him. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s the past. Just the past.”
Jeshu nodded but took another moment to think before continuing. “It was someone who wanted my brother to… well, to have the power, I guess.” He’d been about to say something else, but hit the binding. I knew I’d have to think about that later though. “He pulled me deeper into the cavern and chained me to a wall there before leaving. Stone eventually found me, but it had been two days and I wasn’t all that aware by that point.”
He rubbed his wrists, still in the cavern. “I know that I didn’t deserve to be chained and left for dead, but I also knew that it had been partially my fault. I had wanted to do something different. To break the rules. To push because I was angry at being caged. Then I found out what being caged really was.”
I lifted his hand and gently ran my fingers over his wrists. The scars were very old, but still raised and silvery in the moonlight. I kissed them carefully before repeating the action with his other hand.
“I love these scars. They show me that you are alive. If you didn’t have them, you wouldn’t be here.” I wouldn’t look him in the eye. I couldn’t. Still, he deserved to know.
“They serve as a reminder. I was impetuous. I still am. I push and push until I get things the way I want, but I hope I never find myself back there again.” He paused.
“Do you know,” Jeshu began, “what I asked for when sending the orb?”
“You asked for something?” I was still curious about the orb and arrow. I knew that there was a component that sensed what he truly needed, but I didn’t realize that he could give it a wish list.
“When you are preparing to send the arrow and orb you are told to envision one thing that you desire above all else in a wife. The orb will take care of finding someone you will love and who will love you in turn. That comes with time, but doesn’t need to be stated. No, we ask for an attribute that we hope for. Something that we have always longed for. Something that will compliment who we are.”
I chuckled. “So, what you’re saying is that they make you spend a while figuring out who you are and what your faults are before you are launched into the world to comb through an unsuspecting female population.”
He smirked. “Exactly. And it takes months, by the way. Three months before the trial begins, we begin the process. We talk to friends and neighbors, reread our old journals, go live in isolation for a while. Everything and anything that might help. We basically became hermits, which is why Stone’s hair was so crazy. I actually had mine spelled before going on the sabbatical so that it wouldn’t grow, but I forgot my beard. Anyway, once that is over then comes the beginning of the trial. I stood there, holding the orb, and all I could think was that I wanted someone who was strong.”
I shifted uneasily.
“All my life I’d met people who lied and backstabbed. People who wanted to use my brother and me for their own purposes. People who would do the same to my wife when I found her. I wanted someone who would stand up to them. Who would stand up to me. When I found you I was a bit confused.”
And now I was borderline squirming. He ran a hand down my bare back and pulled me in tighter.
“You were about to fall over you were so tired and laughing at the strangest things. I thought you were drunk for a minute, but then I saw the arrow. It hadn’t just pricked your finger, like I’d heard of every other bride chosen. No, it had sliced into both of your hands you had blood dripping down, making the gold slick and hard to keep hold of. But you did.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to have to pick them back up.”
He grinned, his teeth flashing in the darkness. “You were tested more than any other person and came out victorious. You kept hold, even when it hurt. You refused to let go, even when it was difficult. You wouldn’t put them down and then you offered your hard earned prize back as soon as you were given the option.
“Seeing you deal with nightmares, mercenaries, horrific memories and my brother’s wife and still come out smiling… Grace, you may just be the strongest person I have ever met.”
Chapter 7: Mother Issues
We arrived at the mouth of the river six days later. Yew was ecstatic. He kept complaining about being trapped on a small boat with two sets of newlyweds. Claimed it was too lovey-dovey aboard.
He was probably right.
Jeshu and I were growing closer and closer every day. I knew that part of it was because the magic binding us together. It smoothed out the ruffled feathers and helped deepen the empathy we felt for one another. Part of it was watching him interact with his brother and bodyguard. It gave me a new insight into his personality.
When they were together, Jeshu matched his nickname. He blazed like a fire, full of energy and intensity. He would push for ground and demand movement from one of the others. It was a more intense version of the person I already knew. He’d always pushed for answers from me, but never with great strength. He would wear
down my resolve, seeking to clear out the trash, like a fire staged by the Fey to clear the scrub every other year. It helped new things grow by stopping the buildup of kindling, protecting the forest from the truly dangerous blazes that could crop up if they didn’t.
With his brother, on the other hand, there was no gentleness. It was like the battle between heat and metal in a blacksmith’s forge. He fought to melt his brother’s hard-headedness into something useable while Stone let him vent all the rage and frustration that had built up and needed release.
Not that it didn’t show my husband’s own stubborn personality. Jeshu could be the most stubborn man I knew when it came to certain subjects, but his thoughts were generally more fluid than Stone’s. He would attack from many different avenues ‘til he found the right one, not just head on until the problem got out of the way.
I didn’t always care for that tenacity. Specifically, right then.
“It worked before because people knew me there! They expected that amount of crazy. Do you really want to draw undue attention here?” I asked, exasperated with the argument. We’d reached the small town of Mouth (clearly still in Lettelach as it stood at the mouth of the river) and my husband was demanding to come along while I resupplied.
“It’s too dangerous for you to be out alone,” he said. “We’re still being hunted and you can’t use your magic or you’ll draw more attention.”
I was more than a little irked that he believed me so incompetent at protecting myself that I would have to use magic. I was raised by a criminal and was an expert at blending in with a crowd. If I had to resort to force, I was doing something wrong, but seeing his resolution, I knew that further arguing would be pointless. “Then let me take Yew. He should be able to protect me.”
This time it was Yew who disagreed. “I can’t leave my charge. Sorry. It was spelled into the contract.” I’d sort of expected that response, but it irked me anyway. Specifically, the tone used bothered me. There wasn’t one speck of regret in there. He was amused by our argument!
The growl ringing across the deck cut off when I realized it was coming from me. “Fine, Jeshu can come but we can’t bring Stone. He would make it really obvious what’s going on.”
This time it was Stone arguing, though not as eloquently as his brother. “I won’t leave Thyme.” And there it was. He was committed to the action and would not be moved. How their parents managed to name them both so aptly, I had no idea. Maybe a traveling seer?
I ran my hands through my hair and stomped away. We had been at the dock for almost fifteen minutes debating who would go and who would stay. Thyme had to go so she could pick up some healing tonics we would need when hitting open water. We knew for a fact that both of us were pregnant and I wasn’t sure that our stomachs would tolerate the waves of the Barrier Sea. I am rather good with herbs, so in theory she could have stayed behind while I took care of things. Unfortunately, I had to go to purchase enough supplies to outfit us for quite a while, just in case something went wrong while we were at sea.
Compounding our issues, it was daytime, so the brothers were amphibians at that moment. And neither would let us travel on our own.
Think. There has to be a way to do this without spreading gossip. Or… maybe the right gossip needs to be spread. I grinned, evilly. I knew it was evil because when I turned, Stone and Jeshu flinched.
“Thyme, go get some string from the hold. You’re going to need to make a leash for your husband.”
My sister-in-law nodded and ran to get the string while her husband croaked in dismay.
Ignoring him and his outraged question, I headed for my quarters, calling out, “I need to go change into something more impressive. I’ll be back shortly.”
~
“I’m not okay with this,” Stone protested as we walked off my ship. His wife had woven a harness that wrapped around his body and attached to a braided leash. It was actually quite pretty.
“It’s your own fault,” I told him. Jeshu was curled around my neck again, but this time things were a bit different. I wasn’t in comfortable travel clothes anymore. Not to say what I wore was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t the purpose behind the gown I wore. I was dressed to impress. A few years before, my friend had given me a special coat that would shift into whatever outfit was appropriate for the occasion. And it never wrinkled! Mallie hated ironing.
At that moment, I was dressed in a high-waisted green gown with purple lightning bursting across my skirt at random intervals. I was playing the part of a wealthy and powerful magic user. And Thyme was my apprentice, keeping track of her new familiar, which meant that she could wear her normal clothes without worrying about making an impression. I figured the giant frog on a leash would do that quite well enough.
It was easy to pretend the arrogance needed to pull this role off. The trick was when to use it. Giving people the idea that you are very dangerous is all about balance. Act like a silly girl while veiling yourself in power and you instantly put people on edge. You are either trying to pull one over on them or you are too powerful to care what they think. Throw in some arrogance and a serious face on occasion and you are suddenly the most terrifying and possibly unstable person they have ever met.
I’d seen my mother use that precise technique too many times to doubt its usefulness.
“Thymey! Go grab the herbs we need then get back on the ship. We don’t want your familiar to get dehydrated,” I told her, wagging a finger at her and pitching my voice up.
She had already been told how to act, so she nodded her head and hurried off with her husband hopping beside her. Once I was sure that she was safe, I wrapped my arm through Yew’s and pulled him down the street.
We garnered plenty of attention, our little group. Yew kept his face emotionless and let his eyes rove for danger. He had been tasked with playing an intimidating bodyguard. Not difficult for him. It sold my role even more because no guard as dangerous looking as him would allow a client to hang off of him unless the client was too dangerous to deny.
Meanwhile, Jeshu was tasked with randomly lifting his head, looking around and puffing out smoke at people.
“Oh! There! He should have some good supplies!” I cried, dragging Yew to the nearest vendor.
Predictably, the man eyed me warily. I’d chosen him for a good reason though. He wasn’t from Lettelach. The lake peoples wouldn’t pick up on the subtle cues like that man would. (Also, they would have actually said something and I wanted the fear to spread before that happened.)
“We want two barrels of ale and five rounds of cheese.” I smiled toothily at him and the man swallowed. I may not get drunk, but I knew that it would appease my husband’s bodyguard and be a safe supplement if we ran out of water.
“I’m sorry mistress, I only have three rounds of cheese available.”
I frowned. Well, pouted really… alright, I acted like a debutante whose daddy just said no. “Oh, alright. How much?”
“T-two silver, five copper.”
My eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?” I’d let my voice drop and stood straight for the first time since swanning off the boat. Lifting my chin slightly, I looked down my nose at the poor merchant. “A bit pricey, don’t you think?”
He cleared his throat. “Two silver then?”
I nodded and extracted the coins, adding five coppers to have them delivered for us. “Just make sure not to step aboard. It might bite,” I told him with an innocent smile. He shuddered as I skipped away. It was time to harass another person. If only I didn’t feel sick for doing it.
~
Mid-afternoon brought us to the end of our shopping excursion. It also brought another group of trackers from Shessat. I was incredibly glad that Thyme had already gotten back to the ship and started moving our purchases into the hold. She shouldn’t have to deal with anymore possible trauma from being attacked.
“Mistress,” called the leader of the hand. This group was composed of fair-haired men instead of dark. They fit with the re
sidents of the town about as well as the others had in Aurism, though. Clearly no one had spent time explaining how to blend in to gather information more effectively. It was really quite sad.
“Yes?” I replied, a silly grin still on my face.
“May I take a look at that creature you are wearing? It is absolutely stunning.” He looked like he wanted to choke on the last word. The poor man was absolutely clueless when it came to interrogation. He’d revealed his hand right off, asking about the thing he wanted rather than coming at it from an angle like most people would.
Amateur.
“Oh! You mean my necklace? Isn’t it wonderful?” I ran a finger lightly across Jeshu’s head as he curled tighter around my neck. “I had such fun making it! And it looks fabulous with my dress, no?”
The men looked uncomfortable, unsure if they should comment or leave matters of fashion alone. Finally the leader spoke again. “It’s lovely. You said you made it?”
I nodded enthusiastically. “You have to use a piece of the creature to craft it truly well, but hunting the perfect specimen was… quite enjoyable.” I let that hang in the air for a moment before trying to drag Yew toward the boat. “It’s time for us to go, though. Places to be. Can’t stand around gabbing all day.”
“I’ll buy it from you!” Leader shouted as I tried to leave. When I didn’t respond, he grabbed my arm. “One hundred gold pieces.”
I stopped and looked down at his hand before looking back up. My eyes were cold with repressed rage. “Remove your hand or it will become a component in my next spell.”
That got a quick response. His hand looked like it had spasmed, he let me go so quickly.