“Taylor…Taylor…” It was coming from the other side of the hallway, from the crack I had pressed my eye to—the place where I had seen the pit. I didn’t want to go there again, didn’t want to see the nameless things down in the depths. I kept going, heading toward the warm, golden light. But then the voice called me again.
“Taylor, come back,” it said and it sounded vaguely familiar.
Reluctantly, I turned toward it. Who was it and what did they want?
Retracing my steps, I went back to the cracked door and put my eye to the tiny sliver of cold light once more. This time I saw not a square of light but a single figure, standing there alone in the darkness on the other side of the pit. Gwendolyn.
“Open the door,” she called to me, her voice echoing across the vast, empty space. “Open up, Taylor—I know you can hear me. I need you to come back.”
I put my lips to the crack.
“Yes, I can hear you. What if I don’t want to come back?”
“Come back anyway,” she insisted. “You’re not done living yet—not by a long shot.”
“Maybe I am,” I said stubbornly. “I see another door here—it’s got warm light and soft music. It smells wonderful—I want to go there.”
“No!” She sounded panicked. “No, don’t go there, Taylor—it’s not time for you to go there yet. Stay here—come back with me.”
“Why should I?” I demanded. “I hardly know you.”
She ran a hand through her long black hair in agitation.
“I can’t stay here long or I’ll get trapped. Look, don’t just come back for me—come back for Addison. She loves you so much.”
“She’d want me to be happy,” I argued through the crack. “I think I’d be happy in the place behind that other door. In fact, I know I would.”
Gwendolyn took a deep breath and paused, as though thinking what to say.
“Yes, you would,” she said at last. “You’d be very happy. But you know who wouldn’t be happy? Victor.”
His name hit me like a blow to the heart. Victor. How could I have forgotten about him? The siren song of the open door and the golden land beyond was so strong it seemed to have wiped everything else away from my mind.
“Victor?” I whispered.
“Yes, Victor.” Gwendolyn stamped her foot impatiently. “He loves you, Taylor! He risked his life to get to you. I should never have broken the bond between the two of you because you belong together. Come back for him. Come back now!”
Her words finally made me decide. I had to go back. But it was easier said than done.
I pushed against the door, pushed with all my might. It seemed to be stuck fast. I took several steps back and ran against it, ramming my shoulder against its plain wooden panel. Suddenly, it swung open.
I stumbled out and my foot slipped on the loose rocks and gravel. Just outside the door, the ground tilted away sharply, a fact I hadn’t noticed before. A steep, short slope was all that separated me from the vast blackness of the pit.
On the other side of the pit, Gwendolyn was crying my name. I screamed and stretched out my arms, reaching for something—anything—but there was nothing to hold on to. I was slipping, sliding toward the pit. Already I could see the eager tentacles of the nameless things reaching up to me, reaching out to grab me and drag me down forever and ever into an eternity of endless night and damnation…
Suddenly another door opened right in front of me—right at the edge of the pit. Gwendolyn was standing there, holding out her arms to me. Somehow she had crossed the vast distance to catch me. I fell into her arms and she grabbed me, holding on for dear life. Something dark and cold and slimy curled around my foot and I shrieked and writhed in her grasp.
“No!” she shouted in my ear. “No, Taylor, don’t let go! Hang on to me.”
I grasped her, panicky tight, and she leaned backward, pulling me away from the thing that wanted me.
“Come on!” She pulled harder, trying to drag us both into the moonlit night I could suddenly see below her, as though I was looking down from above. The night where my lifeless body lay on the ground and Gwendolyn lay beside it, barely breathing. Addison was pressing her bleeding wrist to my lips and crying and Corbin was rubbing her shoulders.
For a moment, I felt the tentacle tighten around my foot. And then I kicked out and the cold, hungry grip slid away—we were free.
Gwendolyn seemed to feel it at the same time.
“Good,” she yelled. “Now come on—we have to go back while we can.”
We dived forward and I saw my own body getting closer and closer. We were sliding forward and at the same time, Gwendolyn was fumbling with the door.
“Have to…close it…all the way,” she panted in my ear. “If I don’t…”
And then I was falling…falling into myself. Falling until everything changed directions and I was looking up at Addison instead of looking down at her. The familiar taste of her blood—faintly sweet and strawberry flavored, burst across my tongue and I swallowed convulsively.
I heard Addison say, “Oh my God—she’s all right! Look, she’s breathing—I really think she’s going to be all right!”
I could see the moon overhead and somewhere a wolf was howling, long and low and lonely.
I’m going to be all right, I told myself, feeling both wonder and worry at the words. Oh Victor, I’m going to be all right. I came back for you. I came back…but will you still want me?
Chapter Twenty-eight—Victor
“Is Taylor okay?” I asked anxiously, clutching the phone to my ear. “Please tell me she’s all right, Corbin. Please.”
“She is well and resting comfortably,” he said soothingly. “In fact, she has already had a pint of blood and two cheeseburgers today. Apparently, though the bond between you is broken, the effects of the prophecy still hold true.”
“Whose blood?” I asked, immediately jealous. I didn’t give a damn about the cheeseburgers, but the blood… “Who is she drinking from?”
He sighed. “From Addison, unfortunately. I do not like it but my beloved consort will have it no other way.”
“I don’t like it either,” I growled. I knew there was nothing but friendship between Taylor and her best friend but still…taking blood was a very sensual act. I wanted to feel Taylor’s fangs deep in my throat again, not hear that they were buried in someone else.
“Come and feed her yourself, then,” Corbin said, making it sound like the easiest thing in the world. “I am certain she would like to see you.”
“Right…” I said sarcastically. “I don’t think so, Corbin. I’m sure she’s seen enough.”
“If you are referring to your beast—”
“Hell, yes, that’s what I’m referring to,” I snarled. “She saw me at my worst. In my cursed form. You know that female weres won’t even associate with a cursed wolf? Let alone mate with one—they’re too afraid to pass the curse on to their offspring.”
“Taylor is not a were,” he said softly. “But she is a not fully a vampire, either. She is something wholly new and different. However, there is one thing that I don’t believe has changed—the way she feels for you. Truly, you should come and see her.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. I wanted to believe him, I really did. But honestly, how could she want to be with me again after seeing what I became when the curse overtook me? Corbin might not have been freaked out but he was a fucking four hundred year old vampire—not much was going to get to him. Taylor on the other hand…
She’ll hate me now. Or I’ll disgust her.
There was no way I couldn’t and not just because she’d seen me as the beast. There were…other factors to consider now. I rubbed my tingling cheek and sighed. I didn’t want to see that look on her face, that fear and pity when she saw me. Didn’t want to hear the anxiety in her voice as she talked about how nice it was to see me again but how she really had to be going now.
“Victor?” Corbin’s voice on the other end of the phone
pulled me out of my unhappy thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m here.” I sighed. “Look, I just…I can’t right now. Okay?”
“As you wish,” he said coolly. “Is there anything you want me to tell her?”
“Tell her…tell her I said I hope she, uh, gets well soon,” I said, feeling like an idiot. Damn, I sounded like a lame-ass greeting card! But I really didn’t know what else to say.
“I’ll pass on your message,” Corbin said. “Goodbye, Victor.”
“Goodbye,” I said but he had already hung up.
I should go to her, I thought, putting down the phone. For a minute I really thought about it…but then I looked in the bathroom mirror and pushed the thought away.
The brand on my cheek was still fresh and raw and very, very visible. It twisted the right side of my face into a permanent sneer. Fucking disfiguring, that was what it was. Being a were I could heal a lot of things but being burned with a silver brand wasn’t one of them. This was my face now…it was how I was going to look for the rest of my life. I wasn’t vain about my appearance—I’d never been male model material. But at least I looked normal before. Now I was a monster inside and out.
I couldn’t ask Taylor to deal with that. Couldn’t expect her to still want to be with me now that she knew about my beast and I looked like a fucking freak. Not to mention what had happened between us the night we had sex. I was ashamed of the way I had acted that night—deeply ashamed. I knew I had to confess it to her eventually but just…not now. It was one thing too many. There were simply too many obstacles between us now. Too much keeping us apart for us to ever get back together.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I whispered, looking away from the mirror. “So fucking sorry about everything.”
* * * * *
Taylor
“Of course he doesn’t want to see me—not after what happened.” I took another sip of the lime freeze Addison had gotten me from Bo’s, our favorite little ice cream shop on Florida Avenue. The tart neon green concoction had always been my favorite but it couldn’t console me for the loss of Victor.
Addison sighed impatiently.
“Look, I told you, he doesn’t think you forced him. In fact, I kind of got the impression he thought it was the other way around.”
“What? But I was on top of him. So there’s no way he…” I shook my head morosely. “Anyway, it’s been over a week and he hasn’t called or come to see me. Obviously he doesn’t care anymore—not that it matters.”
“It does matter.” Addison took another scoop of her upside down banana split—another Bo’s specialty. Apparently her diet was on hold, at least for now. Probably she was trying to build herself up after all the blood I’d taken lately.
I sighed. I loved Addison but drinking from her was awkward and uncomfortable. I should be drinking from Victor—I couldn’t help remembering how good it felt to sink my fangs into his throat. To hear the low noises of pleasure he made and the way he got so hard every time he fed me… But there was no point in thinking about that. It was never going to happen again. Not after…
“After what?” Addison demanded and I realized I had spoken the last thought aloud.
“After what Celeste told him,” I said.
“Well? What did she tell him?” She took another bite.
“She told him…” I pushed the freeze away, my appetite abruptly gone. “She told Victor what she did to me—what she let other people do. She told him I was her…her whore.” I put a hand over my eyes. “And it’s true, Addison—every word.”
“You’re acting like you had a choice in the matter,” she said angrily. “That bitch Celeste forced you into it, Taylor!”
“I know,” I whispered. “But I didn’t want him to know that about me. About what happened while I was with her.”
“Oh, honey…” She put her hand on my arm. “If he really loves you, that won’t matter to him.”
“If he really loves me why hasn’t he come to see me?” I stirred my freeze, dragging my straw aimlessly through the bright green mixture. How many years had I longed to taste just one more lime freeze from Bo’s? And now I could drink them until my tongue turned green but I didn’t want them. All I wanted was Victor…but it seemed he didn’t want me. Not that I blamed him.
“I don’t know,” Addison said. “Maybe he’s worried about what you think of him now after you saw him turn into that…thing.”
“That thing was his beast. It’s part of him,” I said sharply. “Just like his wolf is part of him.”
“Well, that’s pretty understanding of you, hon,” she said dryly. “And it’s great you feel that way but you have to admit, not a lot of women would be willing to overlook the fact that their man has not one but two alter egos and both of them are furry and howl at the moon.”
“I don’t care about that,” I said stubbornly. “And Victor knows I love his wolf—why would he think I didn’t like his beast? I mean, he was a little scary but he didn’t try to hurt me. No, that can’t be it.”
“Maybe it’s because you basically divorced him without talking about it first.” Addison took another bite and wiped chocolate sauce off her chin with a thin paper napkin. “I mean, from hearing him talk about it, he took those vows pretty seriously. And breaking them early nearly got both of you killed.”
“Addison.” I glared at her.
“What? You asked.” She sighed. “Look, maybe it’s none of those things or a combination of them. All I know for sure is if you don’t talk to him you’ll never know. Call him.”
“I can’t—he hasn’t called me.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t want to be the one to call first—it’s too desperate,” I protested.
“Will you listen to yourself? You’re a strong, independent woman—a supernatural creature with almost unlimited physical strength and immense magical capabilities and you’re acting like you’re back in high school,” she scoffed.
“Excuse me,” I snapped. “I know it must seem stupid to you but this is complicated. I don’t want to chase after him if he doesn’t want me.”
“Of course he wants you. He came after you even though he knew he was walking into a trap. Even though he was pretty sure he was going to die—he still came. And you…” Addison pointed at me with her white plastic spoon. “You came back from the freaking dead for him.”
I frowned. “I don’t actually remember a whole lot of that.”
“Well, Gwendolyn does. She said you were all set to go into the light—and by the way, you ought to tell your bigoted parents that because apparently vampires can go to Heaven. Anyway, you were almost past the pearly gates and she got you to come back by saying Victor’s name.”
“She did?” I asked. I had vague, blurry images of a vast black pit filled with writhing things and the horror of falling…and then waking up in my own body. But that was as far as my memory went.
Addison nodded. “You weren’t even going to come back for me, roomie—but you came for him. You came back for Victor.” She pushed her spoon back into the upside down banana split. “I can’t eat any more of this. I’m going to be sick.”
“I didn’t know I was that far gone,” I said quietly. “I mean, I had some vague memories but I thought they were just dreams…nightmares.”
“They were real,” Addison said shortly. “I didn’t want to talk to you about it because I didn’t want to think about how close…how close I came to losing you.” She sniffed dabbed at her eyes with another paper napkin.
“Addison…”
She cleared her throat, obviously trying to get control of her emotions.
“I don’t know for sure but I got the impression that Gwendolyn risked a lot to bring you back—apparently, it’s kind of a big no-no to snatch someone from death’s door like that. But she wouldn’t have been able to do it if you weren’t willing to come. And the only reason you were willing was—”
“Victor,” I finished for her, in a whisper.
“Right.�
� She nodded decisively. “You know what? You’re right—don’t call him.”
I looked at her in surprise.
“But you just said—”
“Don’t call him—go see him. Now, tonight.”
“What, just show up at his door? I can’t do that. I don’t even have an excuse—you went and got my clothes almost a week ago, right after it happened.”
“I know—that was really stupid of me,” Addison said.
“And you said he wouldn’t even see you,” I reminded her. “You said he just left the clothes outside in a box.”
“Will you forget about the clothes? They don’t matter because you still have an excuse to go see him.”
“What? To ask how he likes the weather? Maybe I could pretend I was there as his vet and ask to have a look at his wolf,” I said, only half sarcastically.
“You know, that’s not half bad,” she said thoughtfully. “But no, I had something else in mind.” She jumped up from her dining room table—I was still staying at her place while she spent most nights with Corbin—and went into the other room. When she came back, she had a small oblong box in her hand.
“What’s that?” I asked, eyeing the box suspiciously.
“Your perfect excuse.” She opened the box. “Ta-da!”
A lump rose in my throat. Inside the small cotton-lined box was the strand of pearls Victor had asked me to wear the night we went to the pack council. They gleamed softly in the golden light from the overhead lamp.
“They’re beautiful,” I whispered.
“I know. I had them professionally cleaned and restrung. See—not a spot of blood anywhere.”
“Thank you.” I took the box from her reverently.
“Victor asked you to wear those because he loves you,” Addison said quietly. “I honestly don’t think that’s changed, Taylor. I don’t know why he isn’t calling or coming by—but I know there has to be a good reason. Go to him and find out what it is.”
“But what if…” My voice wavered. “What if it’s because he doesn’t…doesn’t want me anymore?”
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