“You think I’m beautiful?”
“Haven’t I told you that a thousand times?”
“Yes,” she said softly, looking away.
“But what?”
“That was during our sessions. We were role-playing.”
“And every word I ever spoke to you in there, I meant. Everything was from my heart. Right here,” I said, grabbing her hand and pressing it against my chest.
Indigo flinched and pulled her hands away, forcing me to take her chin and turn her face toward me again.
“Who did this to you?” I plead.
“What?”
“Left you so broken? It runs deeper than the wedding fiasco, no?”
She glanced away from me.
“You saw that?”
“I did. And I admire your boldness not to be his fool, to stand up for you and what you deserve. Some women would settle for anything and accept a foolish man’s cheating ways to say that they have a man or husband in their life. You’re stronger than that, mio cara, and you know your worth. You have to remember that you know it and settle for nothing less than that. Whoever stamped this pain on your heart is merda!”
Indigo’s eyes widened, and she snickered.
“I am serious. You are a beautiful woman. One whom I’m lucky to have the pleasure to get to know.”
“I did this to me,” she said softly.
“How?”
“By opening myself up and trusting a man with my heart and soul.”
Indigo quickly scooted back with a nervous smile on her lips and stood. Stepping out of the fountain, her espresso plus-sized body dripping wet, curly hair hanging to the middle of her back swinging side to side in time with her wide hips, she looked like an Egyptian goddess. I watched as she gathered her clothing.
“Indigo!” I shouted, jumping out of the pool and running after her.
CHAPTER 19 – INDIGO
I was walking along a fantasy road that had my heart drunkenly hitting the curb and crossing over into the lanes of reality. The arrangement between Dante and I should have remained as it was, Queen and Midnight, and I wasn’t supposed to lose myself in this fantasy tempting it to become a fairytale romance. Yet, I’d done it, and now I was playing a dangerous game. I was sure to get run over by a Mack truck if I didn’t get my senses back and control my racing heart.
As quickly as I could, I strode up to the glass and wrought iron front door of his house, praying that he was honest with me, and there was no lingering staff or prying eyes around to see my nudity. And cameras. What about those? I was certain a mansion like this, and a man of his stature had those around. Wouldn’t someone see?
“Indigo!” he shouted again.
I’d tried to ignore him, but when his arms wrapped around my waist, it was hard not to give in. The smoothness of his skin conflicting with the hardened planes of his body and the silkiness of the hair that trailed down his arms, legs, belly, and pubic area.
And of course, that gold-dusted member that was created to bring pleasure would be prodding between my thighs right now as he held me tightly against him. Warm waves of air from his nose washed over my cheek and neck.
"Mia Regina, what’s wrong?”
“You. Me. This!” I shouted, trying unsuccessfully to pull from his arms before I broke into tears.
“There is nothing wrong with making beautiful love, engaging in each other’s body, and finding pleasure in one another’s company, mio cara.”
“Try telling my heart that, Dante. We were supposed to stay incognito. That’s all I wanted...all I can take,” I said gruffly as my fingers pulled at his, which were gripped in a vise together around my waist.
Finally, he let go of me, and I spun around, facing him.
“What is it?” he asked frowning.
“All of this is just more than I can handle right now, Dante. When I came here this evening, it was with the understanding that there was some semi-private affair that I’d been invited to. I came here expecting to see some of your other constituents only to find that not only was it just you and me, but you’d dismissed your staff, too.”
“Is that so wrong?”
“It is when all we’re supposed to be engaging in is an arrangement that allows us to express our feelings in a sensual, controlled environment. Give and take. I’m supposed to be the dominant here, yet somehow I lost control, and you’re the one in control, and I feel...I feel...”
“You feel like what, mio cara?” he asked, gently taking my hand into his.
Biting my bottom lip, I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I feel scared.”
“Of me?”
Nodding, I said, “You. This. Everything. Because I’m still vulnerable right now. I’m weak, and it hasn’t been that long since a man that I’d planned to spend the rest of my life with, broke my heart. A man that I was committed to for seven years couldn’t stay faithful to me. How can I expect anything else?”
And like the inadequate upkeep and maintenance of a dam, my heart could take no more, and the tears spilled over.
Dante’s nostrils flared as he pulled me into his arms. His fingers combed through the tangles of my curls created by the water from the fountain. No words were spoken; just one hand softly stroking my back while the other pulled through my curls.
Without warning, Dante lifted me into his arms. He pulled the door open and marched right in and up a winding staircase.
Dante walked through double doors into what I assumed was the master bedroom. As tenderly as he’d done everything else, he laid me on a king-sized four-poster bed and climbed onto it with me.
Seeing the chill that took over my body, he reached underneath us and pulled at the covers. Moving, I helped him pull them down, and we lay against the most luxurious sheets that ever touched my skin. The dark grey, high-quality wool fabric was woven with small amounts of gold carat and silk jacquard.
My fingers traced the patterns as I nestled deeper between the sheets.
Dante pulled me closer to him, kissing the top of my head.
“Tell me your story. I want to know everything about how you got here,” he invited.
If I wasn’t careful, I could easily fall in love with a man like Dante, and not just because he was beautiful, sexy, and a billionaire. It had nothing to do with those things, although I had to admit they were great contributors to the cause.
The tenderness Dante used with me, his concern about me as a person and a woman, the attentiveness he paid with ensuring that my needs were met, and how deeply he listened were the things that would compel me to give my heart to him.
His hand softly stroked my hair as I told him about how I’d met Keith right after college in Atlanta at the Sweet Auburn Festival that summer. I shared how excited I was to learn that he was from North Carolina, too, and he was a resident of Summer Cove, our neighboring town.
Our relationship was easy and comfortable with us, deciding to live together after three years to spend more time together. I shared how I’d ignored his commentary on my weight from time to time or how he would compare me to my slimmer friends. Those things that set in around the fifth year should have been my warning, but they weren’t.
I shared with him how I’d learned about Keith and Lana’s infidelity and what it had done to my self-esteem and heart. Then I opened up and shared with Dante that Keith wasn’t the first time that it happened. In high school, during my junior year, I’d had a similar experience when my boyfriend of a year and a half cheated with a close friend.
In college, I’d been in two relationships. and eventually was passed up for women who were smaller than me. All of that began to take a toll on my self-esteem, although I’d not allowed it to show on the outside. And despite being plus-sized, I was healthy; I worked out and had healthy eating behaviors. However, I didn’t come from a small family, and I honestly was happy with my body.
I even shared with him how I’d been approached to be a plus-sized model, but that wasn’t my aspiration.
<
br /> “Dante, I don’t know how to open up and give of myself. Haven’t you ever noticed how selfish I behave in our sessions? How it’s all about my pleasure and not yours?”
“That will come in time as you learn more about your pain and pleasure, what you’re willing to sacrifice, and once you’re confident again. When you regain your confidence, then you can give pleasure to me; until then, you can’t. And I suspect you’ve got a bit of a fetish for one particular kink,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Orgasm denial. You get off on denying pleasure to others.”
“I think it’s because of all I’ve gone through.”
“Yes, and in time you’ll change and grow. What do you dream about?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Your dreams, other than your career aspirations?”
Sighing, I said, “I’m a simple girl, Dante. I’ve never wanted much but to be surrounded by my family and friends, loved by a man who supported and loved me for who I am, and to have a big family of my own someday.”
“What stops you from having what you want, mio cara?”
“Fear of being hurt again,” I said, lowering my lashes and taking my gaze from his face.
“Your past relationships hurt you, and your fiancé did you wrong, but you must not hold that against every man that comes into your life. I know that is not easy to do, but taking a chance is the only way to find love. Someday a man will come along who was designed for you, mio cara. You must understand those men were the exception to the rule. I desire to see you complete. Healed and ready for love again.”
Tapping my head and my heart, he said, “These two must be in alignment with what they want. You have to learn to trust your heart truly. It won’t lie. When you meet someone, and they aren’t in your best interest, your heart gives you signals. When you trust it, it won’t lead you astray. Then you can stop wasting your time on guys that you think are right for you and focus on building a future with someone who loves you and wants the same things that you do. Build a family with that man, the one whose heart can’t beat without you.”
“How will I know him?”
“Because your heart won’t beat without his,” he said, lowering his lips to kiss mine. “What does your heart tell you about me?”
It was all too soon to have this conversation. I wanted to be honest with him, but I didn’t want to scare him off.
“The truth,” he said as if he could read my mind.
“The truth,” I said, taking a deep breath before launching into it. “Is that I’ve felt a connection with you since the moment we had our first phone conversation. And the more we talked in the beginning, the more connected I became to you. When we had our first session, I was impressed by your willingness to humble yourself into a position you never take on. The fact that you trusted your safety and life in my hands helped me to trust you more. Sometimes that scares me, and other times that thrills me. My heart says that you are a good man, one that I can trust. But I don’t want to put that level of responsibility on you.”
Tracing a heart symbol on my chest, he pressed a kiss there and then to my lips.
“Trust your heart, mia Regina. Come on. Let’s get some rest because I’ve got more work to put in on this gorgeous body tonight,” he said, pulling the covers up our bodies as he spooned me.
My heart thudded loudly as I contemplated what he’d shared with me. I hadn’t asked him the question in return because I suspected his answers would be very different than mine. I pondered in my heart what his answers might be.
I drifted off to sleep before I could finish those thoughts.
****
I woke up to a delicious, tomato, herbal aroma tickling my nose. Stretching in the bed, I reached for Dante. Finding his side empty, my eyes opened, and I saw him standing at the foot of the bed, arranging a plate of food on a bed tray.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Parmigiana, Caesar salad, pane casareccio,” he said, pointing to the fluffy, thick bread that reminded me of a pound cake.
“You cooked? How long was I asleep?” I asked as he placed the tray over my lap.
“About three hours, but I didn’t cook. Natalia prepared this for us earlier in the afternoon before she was dismissed. I just had to reheat it,” he said.
“Natalia?”
“My cook.”
He climbed up in the bed with me after preparing his plate.
“When we finish, I’d like to give you a tour of my home.”
A quarter of the way through our meal, I set my fork down and turned to him.
“Do you not like it?”
“It’s delicious, Dante. But you forgot you fed me when I first arrived. I’m full.”
Dante resumed eating while I pondered the questions that ran through my mind before I fell asleep.
“Dante, I never asked about you. What are your dreams?”
His chewing slowed, and he regarded me thoughtfully as if he were contemplating the best way to present his answer before sharing it.
“Indigo, it’s no secret that I am a very wealthy man, and I live a lifestyle of privilege and prestige. The empire that I have built is strong and constructed on a solid foundation. The wealth I enjoy did not start with me, but my great-great-grandfather was the first to start building the life my family knows. My great-grandfather took it to the next level, and each generation built on that down to my brother and me. I have plans to expand my empire for my future children, who someday will inherit everything that I have.
“To continue on this journey successfully, I will need a strong woman by my side who understands her role in my life and the legacy I’m leaving for my future generations. She will need to understand sacrifice, commitment, and complete loyalty. She must be brave and a committed wife and mother, like my mama. But she also has to be confident and intelligent enough to navigate the world that I operate in, by my side at parties, events, and important meetings. She has to represent me in every aspect of her life. And she must be a woman who understands and values the traditional institution of marriage and family. A woman who is willing to be submitted to me as her husband but still strong in her sense of self. That’s what I dream of.”
I was almost moved to tears because clearly, this man had put a lot of thought into what he wanted for his future. There was no room for misunderstandings or confusion about where he stood.
“You spoke of a legacy that you’re leaving for your future children, grandchildren, and so forth. What does the legacy consist of beyond wealth?”
“It is a legacy of love, integrity, faithfulness, strength, and honor. A legacy where my children will value our culture and traditions and preserve them.”
“So, does that mean that the woman you marry will be Italian?” I asked, fighting to keep the somber note from my voice while wondering why it crept into my voice anyway.
Dante’s eyebrow furrowed.
“I do not place such limitations on my life, mio cara. We cannot dictate whom our heart wants and where and whom we find that love with. Whether the woman is Italian, Hispanic, Asian, European, Caucasian, or African-American, just like you,” he said the last in a soft, gentle voice with a smile on his face as his hand caressed my cheek, causing me to lean into the palm. “I will want our children to value both sides of our cultures and honor traditions.”
I kissed his palm.
“I have another question.”
“I am listening.”
“I asked you in the beginning if you ever became involved with your subs beyond the walls of the BDSM club, and you said no. What is this that we’re doing?”
“We are...how do you say? Exploring? We are exploring a deeper connection beyond the physical. I am very fond of you, Indigo, and I don’t look at you like any other woman I’ve been involved with. From the first conversation, you intrigued me with your curiosity and willingness to try new endeavors. And when I met you, bella, I was captivated by your beauty and the richn
ess of your brown skin. Your commanding presence, though uncertain at times, was electric and magnetic. After our first few encounters, I knew that I wanted more. And when you denied me for those two weeks, I knew that I needed more.”
“Beyond the physical?”
“Yes,” he said, wrapping our fingers together. “Beyond the physical. I want you, and I want more from you, I will not lie. But I sense that I must be patient and take my time with a woman like you who has been through the things you’ve gone through, amore. So, right now, I am content with working to understand why this connection I feel to you is so strong, and I want to see where it takes us. If you’re open to it.”
“Dante, I won’t lie to you. You’re right; I’m hesitant because I’ve been hurt. I tend to feel very deeply, and I don’t want to fall and find that I fell alone. So, yes, I’ll be a bit more reserved at times, but that’s coming from a place of protection,” I said just before he covered my lips with his in a deep kiss.
“I promise not to hurt you, only to strengthen you and make you a better woman. I will teach you to love again, to trust, and to live with your heart wide open. I will teach you to embrace the world,” he said and kissed me some more.
“And another question,” I said after we finished. “What happened to Nadine?”
“Mio cara, you are full of questions tonight, amore,” he said, laughing.
CHAPTER 20 – DANTE
“Nadine and I were never exclusive or...never more than friends and sex partners. We both went into what we had with our eyes wide open. She understood that I had other women, and I knew that she had other partners. I use that term loosely because Nadine likes men and women. However, when she learned more about who I was and what I had to offer, she began to devise ways to sink her hooks into me. A woman like Nadine is not to be trusted. She is jealous and conniving, and she keeps me on edge when she’s around...and sometimes even when she’s not. I will not lie; she’s very jealous of you.”
“Of me?” Indigo asked, pointing a finger at herself. “For what?”
“I could not keep my eyes off of you the night of the benefit dinner. Especially once I learned your identity. It was difficult for me to stay away for long.”
The Scandal : A BBW ALPHA MALE BWWM ROMANCE Page 12