by Honey
“Get some rest, Royce. I’ll call you later.”
She held her breath as she heard his footsteps descending the stairs. When the front door opened and quickly closed, Royce allowed herself to breathe again. It was the sound of his motorcycle roaring, putting distance between them, that caused the wall of emotions to topple completely. Royce felt like her heart had been shredded into a million pieces. She buried her face into the pillow and cried as if she were in mourning.
Chapter Sixteen
“Father, you have another confession. He’s in the sanctuary praying.”
“He?” Father Kyle asked, lifting his bushy, gray eyebrows.
“Yes, sir. It’s a young man. He’s dressed in all black and wearing a hoodie,” the nun whispered. “I suppose he wishes to conceal his identity. Nevertheless, he lit a candle and is now kneeling in prayer. I can send him to the confessional whenever you’re ready.”
Father Kyle closed his Bible. “Send him back,” he said and stood. “Are there any others, Sister Amelia?”
“No, Father. He appears to be your last one.”
The priest left his office through the back door that that led him down a narrow, private passageway to the confessional. He took his seat on the bench in the closet-like compartment and waited. In Father Kyle’s three and half decades in the priesthood, he had heard thousands of men and women acknowledge all types of sin. Each had expressed remorse to some degree, while others attempted to justify their offenses, but they all wanted God’s forgiveness in the end.
Confession was definitely good for all souls, and it was a spiritual necessity. It was the first step to redemption, and it often helped to bring closure to the repentant transgressor. Father Kyle stroked the sides of his chin with his thumb and index finger as he waited for the young man who was about to pour out his heart to him to take his place. It was honorable of him to come seeking the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. More young men and women alike would fare better by his example. Footsteps and movement on the other side of the wooden lattice screen alerted Father Kyle that his candidate for confession had arrived. He waited, giving the young man time to kneel in humility before he spoke.
“What brings you here today, my son?”
The sniffles on the other side of the confessional caught the priest totally off guard. There was no light in the small space where the young man kneeled in preparation for the sacrament, so his features were completely hidden by darkness. But Father Kyle knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was crying. Whatever sin the fellow had committed, it had bound him with grief. The priest waited patiently for him to speak.
“Once again, I have been with a woman who I am not married to. I am filthy and unworthy, Father. Have mercy on me.” He sniffled.
The hairs on Father Kyle’s nape bristled. He had heard the young man’s voice only once before today, but he was certain that he was the same person he’d ministered to a few weeks ago. “Were you overtaken by lust again or did you resist the Holy Spirit’s power to sustain you, my son?”
“I went to her of my own free will, Father. I tried to stay away from this woman. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for God to save me from myself, but I was too weak. I had to have her.”
“You love this woman, don’t you?”
“I believe I do.”
“Does she not love you as well?”
“She loves me.”
“Good. My advice to you is to take this woman as your wife immediately. It is apparent that you cannot resist her. Through Scripture, the Apostle Paul encourages those of us who are feeble in spirit and are unable to abstain from sexual sin to marry. Otherwise, you will be consumed by flames of lust. Certainly, that is not your desire.”
“I want to please God, but I can’t because of my attraction and need for her. I’m powerless. Forgive me.”
“That is why you must make her your bride. It is better to marry than to burn.”
“I can’t marry her!”
Father Kyle paused, confused by the young man’s perplexing circumstances. He couldn’t understand why a man who was in love with a woman and intimately involved with her would not make her his wife. “Why can’t you and this woman be joined in matrimony? You’ve professed your love for her and assured me that she loves you. What is the problem?”
“It’s complicated, Father.”
“Is she the wife of another man, my son?”
“No, sir.”
“Are you married to someone else?”
“No, I am not.”
“I don’t understand. Please enlighten me,” the priest pleaded.
“Circumstances beyond my control forbid me to take a bride.” Father Gregory sighed. “Look, Father, what must I do to be forgiven?”
“The blood of Jesus has already cleansed you from all unrighteousness, my son. But are you repenting today only to fornicate with your beloved again and again? Surely, this is not the kind of life you wish to live.”
“I want to live a life that honors God, but I also want a life with the woman I love. Unfortunately, it is impossible for me to have both.”
“I cannot give you proper guidance unless you confide in me completely, my son. What are you withholding from me?”
“I’ve told you everything you need to know.”
Father Kyle heard movement on the other side of the screen. He assumed the young man had stood from the kneeling bench. He didn’t want him to leave. The Holy Spirit told him that he was deeply troubled and in need of spiritual counseling. Father Kyle didn’t want their session to end before he could help him. “Do not leave. Please let me help you, child of God.”
“You can’t. Thank you for your time, Father. Goodbye.”
Father Kyle bowed his head in defeat when the door on the other side of the confessional closed. His heart went out to the young man. He was terribly disturbed and torn. His love for God was sincere. Father Kyle could hear the passion in his voice. But he also very much loved the woman he was involved with. It was a peculiar situation, but it was also simple. Marriage was honorable in the sight of God. The Almighty Himself had ordained it in the Garden of Eden for Adam and Eve. It was a holy covenant between God, a man, and his bride. The young man had given Father Kyle the impression that he was forbidden to marry, as if he were a priest.
“Nooo,” Father Kyle drawled out and shook his head. He chuckled at the preposterous thought. There was no way that the young man could be a priest. He’d said he couldn’t marry his lover, but he didn’t offer an explanation. Maybe he did not meet the approval of the woman’s father. Or perhaps, their families were involved in some kind of feud. Father Kyle had no idea what the problem was, but he believed it was a serious one. He wanted to guide the repentant soul through his issues, and he planned to do just that the next time the fellow came to confession. And he would come back. Father Kyle didn’t doubt it for one moment. The young man would fall into temptation again. It was inevitable because his love for the woman and his sexual attraction to her was much too strong for him to abstain from lying with her. The Holy Spirit was preeminent and could deliver him from fornication, but only if the young man would yield to Its control and authority.
* * *
“The body of Christ,” Father Gregory said softly, holding the bread before the lips he’d tasted and kissed passionately more times than he should have. He should never have kissed them at all, but it was too late.
“Amen.” Royce opened her mouth and extended her tongue to receive the communion bread from her priest and lover.
He placed it on her tongue quickly, cautious not to touch any part of her luscious mouth. That simple mistake would’ve been hazardous to his mental health. It had been difficult enough maintaining focus during the mass, especially during his sermon. Father Gregory had studied all afternoon and into the evening after returning home from confession. He had been prepared this morning to deliver what he’d considered a thought-provoking homily on charity and sacrificial service. But he’d made t
he terrible misjudgment of looking at Royce when he mentioned missionaries traveling abroad to third-world countries to minister to the less fortunate. It had reminded him of her sister and her brother-in-law over in Sierra Leone, providing aid to the victims of the Ebola virus. As soon as Father Gregory looked at Royce while making his point, he regretted it. Surely it was Satan who had caused her to appear as naked as a stripper as she sat in the pew, listening to the sermon. His eyes almost shot from their sockets at the erotic figment of his imagination. Father Gregory lost his train of thought and stumbled over the words that he’d memorized. They were fresh in his mind until the devil started playing dirty tricks on him.
He did manage to pull himself together after clamping his eyes shut tight and pleading with God to have mercy on his wayward mind. By divine grace, the attentive congregation of Lord of the Harvest Roman Catholic Church didn’t seem to notice their senior priest’s pitfall in the pulpit. After he’d fully regained his composure and opened his eyes, bright smiles on faces filled with expectancy seemed to encourage him to continue his sermon. Father Gregory only hoped that his underlying message on charity and servitude had been well received by everyone under the sound of his voice.
He frowned inwardly as he continued serving communion bread to the parishioners. His thoughts had floated back to Royce. Her accusation that it was somehow easy for him to switch his feelings for her on and off on a whim was totally false. But she was upset and emotional at the time she made the charge against him. If only she knew the truth. Her very presence was a major distraction to him regardless of the setting. She caused his brain to go completely blank with her smile. And his body never ceased to betray him whenever he inhaled her signature scent of vanilla wafting from her skin. Her sassiness and sense of humor only added to her overall appeal. Any man with good sense would be drawn to such a rare jewel.
Father Gregory had confessed his love for Royce to the priest at Divine Trinity Roman Catholic Church, but he hadn’t shared his feelings with her. While they were making love into the wee hours of the morning, she had opened her heart and whispered the three special words to him. He was too shocked and mentally off-balance to respond to her declaration. It still hadn’t settled into his brain. Royce loved him. It was an awesome feeling to be loved, yet it was bittersweet. Even though they were in love, there was no future under the heavens for them because of his life’s calling to ministry.
As the last few souls approached Father Gregory to receive the Lord’s Supper, he sneaked a peek in Royce’s direction. Her seat in the pew was now empty. She had left the mass before the dismissal prayer.
Chapter Seventeen
“Did you enjoy the Blue Ridge Mountains, Tyler?” asked Father Gregory.
“Yeah. We had a blast.”
“What did you guys do up there?”
“Deacon Moreland and Deacon Barkley built a huge bonfire Friday night. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows while some of the other older dudes told scary stories. It was cool. We went hiking Saturday morning and horseback riding that afternoon. What did you do over the weekend, Father Gregory?”
“I, um, I was pretty busy. I studied a lot, preparing for my sermon. I visited another Catholic church on the other side of town Saturday after the noonday mass here. Basically, I did nothing exciting at all,” he lied.
Tyler opened another box filled with children’s books. He handed a short stack to Father Gregory. “Auntie Royce stayed busy too. This morning I heard her telling my mom she went out for drinks and dancing at a nightclub. She met a man, a major-league baseball player, but she wasn’t impressed by him. He plays for the Atlanta Braves. You’ve heard of Bullet Bullard, right?”
“I have,” the rattled priest confirmed. “Why?”
“He’s the dude who put the moves on Auntie Royce at the club Friday night. Bullet is rich and famous! I don’t understand why she dissed him. He offered her VIP tickets to a skybox at his first game. And he invited her to fly away with him to some tropical island. Can you believe she turned him down?”
“Imagine that.” Father Gregory placed a row of Bibles on the bookshelf.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with my auntie. She should’ve given Bullet a chance. I would’ve approved of him.”
“You would have? Why, Tyler? Because of his millions and his fame?”
“Yeah. But maybe he’s a cool cat like you, except he’s free to marry Auntie Royce and become my rich uncle.” The boy laughed and picked up a box of hymn books and carried them to the other side of the church’s small library.
Father Gregory’s hands were itching and on fire. He was a few hot seconds away from snatching up his cell phone and calling Royce to interrogate her about her night out on the town. But what could he possibly say to her? They weren’t exactly in a relationship, per se. And she had rejected Bullet Bullard’s advances. Very few women, if any, would have walked away from a star athlete. However, Royce had, and she’d returned home unmoved by his money and stardom.
A streak of heat crept up Father Gregory’s loins as he reflected on how Royce had spent the duration of the night after she’d arrived at her house from the club. The memorable scenes of the kiss they’d shared in her foyer and their steamy bedroom escapade well into the predawn hours paid his brain a visit. He would never forget the sound of Royce’s voice when she confessed her love for him. If there was a more pleasing verbal expression to a man’s ears, Father Gregory had never heard it before.
He suddenly broke out in a cold sweat when he realized he would never hear those precious words again. How could a man live without a woman after knowing her body, tasting it, and having her scent buried in his skin? The fact that he’d fallen madly in love with Royce would make it even more difficult to walk away. His life would be incomplete without her, but damned to hell with her. The Apostle Paul believed that a priest should not marry because the duties of a husband would hinder his ability to effectively serve God and the church. He would be torn between Christ and his bride.
“I am not the Apostle Paul.”
“What did you say?” Tyler shot Father Gregory a puzzled look.
“Um, nothing. Just thinking out loud.”
Paul’s personal commitment to bachelorhood and celibacy with no scriptural base at all had somehow unleashed a curse on every Roman Catholic priest who dared to serve after him. It was so unfair.
“Oh, well, I’m done,” the boy announced, pointing to the eye-catching media display he’d constructed with CDs, DVDs, and Blu-ray discs.
“You did a good job, buddy. I better get you home so you can eat dinner. I want you to be well rested for tomorrow’s game.”
“It won’t matter. We’re going to lose no matter what. We suck without Romello and Damien. Everybody blames me for them being expelled from Saint Xavier’s.”
“Those two were thrown out of school because they were sentenced to sixty days in juvenile detention for theft by taking. How is that your fault? You should be angry with them. They tried to throw you under the bus after they got caught shoplifting. Next season there’ll be a new group of players at your school, and the team will be much better.”
“I hope so, because if not, we’ll have another losing season.”
* * *
Royce looked past Tyler’s slim and tall frame as he entered the house. The front door was still open, giving her a perfect view of the candy-apple red two-seater and its driver. Father Gregory waved before he honked his horn twice and sped away.
Royce slammed the door. She felt her blood pressure rising. She was ticked off. How dare Father Gregory not walk Tyler inside the house as had become his custom? She would’ve behaved and kept her hands to herself. It was a promise they’d made to each other in their secret phone conversation the night before. They’d vowed to conduct themselves as friends from now on. There would be no more kisses and definitely no more lovemaking. It was impossible for them to pretend that they were just priest and parishioner, so they had agreed to be friends.
* * *
“I am so proud of you, Tyler.” Royce grabbed her nephew in a bear hug and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to do something special for you this week. You were balling out there, Mr. MVP,” she said, releasing him from her hold.
“Thanks. I still can’t believe I hit thirteen points. I’ve got to call my dad in the morning to tell him that we won our final game of the season.”
“I’m sure he’ll be proud. I am.” Father Gregory extended his hand for a fist bump.
Tyler tapped his fist with his. “Yeah, he’ll be proud, and so will my mom.”
“We better get going, sweetie. You need to do your homework. I’ll swing by the Burger Zone and buy you the usual.”
“Can I have hot wings instead?”
“Of course you can. Let’s go.”
Tyler turned to Father Gregory before they headed for the gym’s exit. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure thing, buddy. I’ll see you later, Royce.”
She smiled and waved quickly and followed Tyler out of the gym.
Father Gregory felt an icy chill when Royce walked past him. She hadn’t fully acknowledged his presence all evening. Their eyes had met as soon as she arrived at the gym for the game, but she quickly looked away. Normally, they would sit together and cheer for Tyler as he played. Today she’d sat in another section on the opposite side of the gym. Father Gregory couldn’t blame Royce, though. She was simply following the rules he had set regarding their friendship. It was the most difficult decision he’d ever made in his life, but it was for the best. At his request, they were keeping a safe distance from each other, but they would always be cordial whenever they ended up in the same room. Tyler was their link to one another, although they did speak on the phone from time to time. But talking wasn’t enough.