‘And now,’ said Miss Frazier, delightedly, to the captain, ‘she’s a real ship, isn’t she? It seems only the other day father gave the order for her, and now – and now – isn’t she a beauty!’ The girl was proud of the firm, and talked as though she were the controlling partner.
‘Oh, she’s no so bad,’ the skipper replied cautiously. ‘But I’m sayin’ that it takes more than christenin’ to mak’ a ship. In the nature o’ things, Miss Frazier, if ye follow me, she’s just irons and rivets and plates put into the form of a ship. She has to find herself yet.’
‘I thought father said she was exceptionally well found.’
‘So she is,’ said the skipper, with a laugh. ‘But it’s this way wi’ ships, Miss Frazier. She’s all here, but the parrts of her have not learned to work together yet. They’ve had no chance.’
‘The engines are working beautifully. I can hear them.’
‘Yes, indeed. But there’s more than engines to a ship. Every inch of her, ye’ll understand, has to be livened up and made to work wi’ its neighbour – sweetenin’ her, we call it, technically.’
‘And how will you do it?’ the girl asked.
‘We can no more than drive and steer her, and so forth; but if we have rough weather this trip – it’s likely – she’ll learn the rest by heart! For a ship, ye’ll obsairve, Miss Frazier, is in no sense a reegid body closed at both ends. She’s a highly complex structure o’ various an’ conflictin’ strains, wi’ tissues that must give an’ tak’ accordin’ to her personal modulus of elasteecity.’2 Mr Buchanan, the chief engineer, was coming towards them. ‘I’m sayin’ to Miss Frazier, here, that our little Dimbula has to be sweetened yet, and nothin’ but a gale will do it. How’s all wi’ your engines, Buck?’
‘Well enough – true by plumb an’ rule, o’ course; but there’s no spontaneeity yet.’ He turned to the girl. ‘Take my word, Miss Frazier, and maybe ye’ll comprehend later; even after a pretty girl’s christened a ship it does not follow that there’s such a thing as a ship under the men that work her.’
‘I was sayin’ the very same, Mr Buchanan,’ the skipper interrupted.
‘That’s more metaphysical than I can follow,’ said Miss Frazier, laughing.
‘Why so? Ye’re good Scotch, an’ – I knew your mother’s father, he was fra’ Dumfries – ye’ve a vested right in metapheesics, Miss Frazier, just as ye have in the Dimbula,’ the engineer said.
‘Eh, well, we must go down to the deep watters, an’ earn Miss Frazier her deevidends. Will you not come to my cabin for tea?’ said the skipper. ‘We’ll be in dock the night, and when you’re goin’ back to Glasgie ye can think of us loadin’ her down an’ drivin’ her forth – all for your sake.’
In the next few days they stowed some four thousand tons’ dead weight into the Dimbula, and took her out from Liverpool. As soon as she met the lift of the open water, she naturally began to talk. If you lay your ear to the side of the cabin the next time you are in a steamer, you will hear hundreds of little voices in every direction, thrilling and buzzing, and whispering and popping, and gurgling and sobbing and squeaking exactly like a telephone in a thunder-storm. Wooden ships shriek and growl and grunt, but iron vessels throb and quiver through all their hundreds of ribs and thousands of rivets. The Dimbula was very strongly built, and every piece of her had a letter or number, or both, to describe it; and every piece had been hammered, or forged, or rolled, or punched by man, and had lived in the roar and rattle of the shipyard for months. Therefore, every piece had its own separate voice in exact proportion to the amount of trouble spent upon it. Cast-iron, as a rule, says very little; but mild steel plates and wrought-iron, and ribs and beams that have been much bent and welded and riveted, talk continuously. Their conversation, of course, is not half as wise as our human talk, because they are all, though they do not know it, bound down one to the other in a black darkness, where they cannot tell what is happening near them, nor what will overtake them next.
As soon as she had cleared the Irish coast a sullen, grey-headed old wave of the Atlantic climbed leisurely over her straight bows, and sat down on her steam-capstan used for hauling up the anchor. Now the capstan and the engine that drive it had been newly painted red and green; besides which, nobody likes being ducked.
‘Don’t you do that again,’ the capstan sputtered through the teeth of his cogs. ‘Hi! Where’s the fellow gone?’
The wave had slouched overside with a plop and a chuckle; but ‘Plenty more where he came from,’ said a brother-wave, and went through and over the capstan, who was bolted firmly to an iron plate on the iron deck-beams below.
‘Can’t you keep still up there?’ said the deck-beams. ‘What’s the matter with you? One minute you weigh twice as much as you ought to, and the next you don’t!’
‘It isn’t my fault,’ said the capstan. ‘There’s a green brute outside that comes and hits me on the head.’
‘Tell that to the shipwrights. You’ve been in position for months and you’ve never wriggled like this before. If you aren’t careful you’ll strain us.’
‘Talking of strain,’ said a low, rasping, unpleasant voice, ‘are any of you fellows – you deck-beams, we mean – aware that those exceedingly ugly knees of yours happen to be riveted into our structure – ours?’
‘Who might you be?’ the deck-beams inquired.
‘Oh, nobody in particular,’ was the answer. ‘We’re only the port and starboard upper-deck stringers; and if you persist in heaving and hiking like this, we shall be reluctantly compelled to take steps.’
Now the stringers of the ship are long iron girders, so to speak, that run lengthways from stern to bow. They keep the iron frames (what are called ribs in a wooden ship) in place, and also help to hold the ends of the deck-beams, which go from side to side of the ship. Stringers always consider themselves most important, because they are so long.
‘You will take steps – will you?’ This was a long echoing rumble. It came from the frames – scores and scores of them, each one about eighteen inches distant from the next, and each riveted to the stringers in four places. ‘We think you will have a certain amount of trouble in that’; and thousands and thousands of the little rivets that held everything together whispered: ‘You will. You will! Stop quivering and be quiet. Hold on, brethren! Hold on! Hot Punches! What’s that?’
Rivets have no teeth, so they cannot chatter with fright; but they did their best as a fluttering jar swept along the ship from stern to bow, and she shook like a rat in a terrier’s mouth.
An unusually severe pitch, for the sea was rising, had lifted the big throbbing screw nearly to the surface, and it was spinning round in a kind of soda-water – half sea and half air – going much faster than was proper, because there was no deep water for it to work in. As it sank again, the engines – and they were triple expansion, three cylinders in a row – snorted through all their three pistons. ‘Was that a joke, you fellow outside? It’s an uncommonly poor one. How are we to do our work if you fly off the handle that way?’
‘I didn’t fly off the handle,’ said the screw, twirling huskily at the end of the screw-shaft. ‘If I had, you’d have been scrap-iron by this time. The sea dropped away from under me, and I had nothing to catch on to. That’s all.’
‘That’s all, d’you call it?’ said the thrust-block, whose business it is to take the push of the screw; for if a screw had nothing to hold it back it would crawl right into the engine-room. (It is the holding back of the screwing action that gives the drive to a ship.) ‘I know I do my work deep down and out of sight, but I warn you I expect justice. All I ask for is bare justice. Why can’t you push steadily and evenly, instead of whizzing like a whirligig, and making me hot under all my collars.’ The thrust-block had six collars, each faced with brass, and he did not wish to get them heated.
All the bearings that supported the fifty feet of screw-shaft as it ran to the stern whispered: ‘Justice – give us justice.’
‘I
can only give you what I can get,’ the screw answered. ‘Look out! It’s coming again!’
He rose with a roar as the Dimbula plunged, and ‘whack – flack – whack – whack’ went the engines, furiously, for they had little to check them.
‘I’m the noblest outcome of human ingenuity – Mr Buchanan says so,’ squealed the high-pressure cylinder. ‘This is simply ridiculous!’ The piston went up savagely, and choked, for half the steam behind it was mixed with dirty water. ‘Help! Oiler! Fitter! Stoker! Help! I’m choking,’ it gasped. ‘Never in the history of maritime invention has such a calamity overtaken one so young and strong. And if I go, who’s to drive the ship?’
‘Hush! oh, hush!’ whispered the Steam, who, of course, had been to sea many times before. He used to spend his leisure ashore in a cloud, or a gutter, or a flower-pot, or a thunder-storm, or anywhere else where water was needed. ‘That’s only a little priming, a little carrying-over, as they call it. It’ll happen all night, on and off. I don’t say it’s nice, but it’s the best we can do under the circumstances.’
‘What difference can circumstances make? I’m here to do my work – on clean, dry steam. Blow circumstances!’ the cylinder roared.
‘The circumstances will attend to the blowing. I’ve worked on the North Atlantic run a good many times – it’s going to be rough before morning.’
‘It isn’t distressingly calm now,’ said the extra-strong frames – they were called web-frames – in the engine-room. ‘There’s an upward thrust that we don’t understand, and there’s a twist that is very bad for our brackets and diamond-plates, and there’s a sort of west-north-westerly pull that follows the twist, which seriously annoys us. We mention this because we happened to cost a good deal of money, and we feel sure that the owner would not approve of our being treated in this frivolous way.’
‘I’m afraid the matter is out of the owner’s hands for the present,’ said the Steam, slipping into the condenser. ‘You’re left to your own devices till the weather betters.’
‘I wouldn’t mind the weather,’ said a flat bass voice below; ‘it’s this confounded cargo that’s breaking my heart. I’m the garboard-strake, and I’m twice as thick as most of the others, and I ought to know something.’
The garboard-strake is the lowest plate in the bottom of a ship, and the Dimbula’s garboard-strake was nearly three-quarters of an inch mild steel.
‘The sea pushes me up in a way I should never have expected,’ the strake grunted, ‘and the cargo pushes me down, and, between the two, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’
‘When in doubt, hold on,’ rumbled the Steam, making head in the boilers.
‘Yes; but there’s only dark, and cold, and hurry, down here; and how do I know whether the other plates are doing their duty? Those bulwark-plates up above, I’ve heard, ain’t more than five-sixteenths of an inch thick – scandalous, I call it.’
‘I agree with you,’ said a huge web-frame by the main cargo-hatch. He was deeper and thicker than all the others, and curved half-way across the ship in the shape of half an arch, to support the deck where deck-beams would have been in the way of cargo coming up and down. ‘I work entirely unsupported, and I observe that I am the sole strength of this vessel, so far as my vision extends. The responsibility, I assure you, is enormous. I believe the money-value of the cargo is over one hundred and fifty thousand pounds. Think of that!’
‘And every pound of it is dependent on my personal exertions.’ Here spoke a sea-valve that communicated directly with the water outside, and was seated not very far from the garboard-strake. ‘I rejoice to think that I am a Prince-Hyde Valve, with best Pará rubber facings. Five patents cover me – I mention this without pride – five separate and several patents, each one finer than the other. At present I am screwed fast. Should I open, you would immediately be swamped. This is incontrovertible!’
Patent things always use the longest words they can. It is a trick that they pick up from their inventors.
‘That’s news,’ said a big centrifugal bilge-pump. ‘I had an idea that you were employed to clean decks and things with. At least, I’ve used you for that more than once. I forget the precise number, in thousands, of gallons which I am guaranteed to throw per hour; but I assure you, my complaining friends, that there is not the least danger. I alone am capable of clearing any water that may find its way here. By my Biggest Deliveries, we pitched then!’
The sea was getting up in workmanlike style. It was a dead westerly gale, blown from under a ragged opening of green sky, narrowed on all sides by fat, grey clouds; and the wind bit like pincers as it fretted the spray into lace work on the flanks of the waves.
‘I tell you what it is,’ the foremast telephoned down its wire-stays. ‘I’m up here, and I can take a dispassionate view of things. There’s an organized conspiracy against us. I’m sure of it, because every single one of these waves is heading directly for our bows. The whole sea is concerned in it – and so’s the wind. It’s awful!’
‘What’s awful?’ said a wave, drowning the capstan for the hundredth time.
‘This organized conspiracy on your part,’ the capstan gurgled, taking his cue from the mast.
‘Organized bubbles and spindrift! There has been a depression in the Gulf of Mexico. Excuse me!’ He leaped overside; but his friends took up the tale one after another.
‘Which has advanced –’ That wave hove green water over the funnel.
‘As far as Cape Hatteras –’ He drenched the bridge.
‘And is now going out to sea – to sea – to sea!’ The third went free in three surges, making a clean sweep of a boat, which turned bottom up and sank in the darkening troughs alongside, while the broken falls whipped the davits.
‘That’s all there is to it,’ seethed the white water roaring through the scuppers. ‘There’s no animus in our proceedings. We’re only meteorological corollaries.’
‘Is it going to get any worse?’ said the bow-anchor chained down to the deck, where he could only breathe once in five minutes.
‘Not knowing, can’t say. Wind may blow a bit by midnight. Thanks awfully. Good-bye.’
The wave that spoke so politely had travelled some distance aft, and found itself all mixed up on the deck amidships, which was a well-deck sunk between high bulwarks. One of the bulwark plates, which was hung on hinges to open outward, had swung out, and passed the bulk of the water back to the sea again with a clean smack.
‘Evidently that’s what I’m made for,’ said the plate, closing again with a sputter of pride. ‘Oh, no, you don’t, my friend!’
The top of a wave was trying to get in from the outside, but as the plate did not open in that direction, the defeated water spurted back.
‘Not bad for five-sixteenths of an inch,’ said the bulwark-plate. ‘My work, I see, is laid down for the night’; and it began opening and shutting, as it was designed to do, with the motion of the ship.
‘We are not what you might call idle,’ groaned all the frames together, as the Dimbula climbed a big wave, lay on her side at the top, and shot into the next hollow, twisting in the descent. A huge swell pushed up exactly under her middle, and her bow and stern hung free with nothing to support them. Then one joking wave caught her up at the bow, and another at the stern, while the rest of the water slunk away from under her just to see how she would like it; so she was held up at her two ends only, and the weight of the cargo and the machinery fell in the groaning iron keels and bilge-stringers.
‘Ease off! Ease off, there!’ roared the garboard-strake. ‘I want one-eighth of an inch fair play. D’you hear me, you rivets!’
‘Ease off! Ease off!’ cried the bilge-stringers. ‘Don’t hold us so tight to the frames!’
‘Ease off!’ grunted the deck-beams, as the Dimbula rolled fearfully. ‘You’ve cramped our knees into the stringers, and we can’t move. Ease off, you flat-headed little nuisances.’
Then two converging seas hit the bows, one on each side, an
d fell away in torrents of streaming thunder.
‘Ease off!’ shouted the forward collision-bulkhead. ‘I want to crumple up, but I’m stiffened in every direction. Ease off, you dirty little forge-filings. Let me breathe!’
All the hundreds of plates that are riveted to the frames, and make the outside skin of every steamer, echoed the call, for each plate wanted to shift and creep a little, and each plate, according to its position, complained against the rivets.
‘We can’t help it! We can’t help it!’ they murmured in reply. ‘We’re put here to hold you, and we’re going to do it; you never pull us twice in the same direction. If you’d say what you were going to do next, we’d try to meet your views.’
‘As far as I could feel,’ said the upper-deck planking, and that was four inches thick, ‘every single iron near me was pushing or pulling in opposite directions. Now, what’s the sense of that? My friends, let us all pull together.’
‘Pull any way you please,’ roared the funnel, ‘so long as you don’t try your experiments on me. I need fourteen wire ropes, all pulling in different directions, to hold me steady. Isn’t that so?’
‘We believe you, my boy!’ whistled the funnel-stays through their clinched teeth, as they twanged in the wind from the top of the funnel to the deck.
‘Nonsense! We must all pull together,’ the decks repeated. ‘Pull lengthways.’
‘Very good,’ said the stringers; ‘then stop pushing sideways when you get wet. Be content to run gracefully fore and aft, and curve in at the ends as we do.’
‘No – no curves at the end! A very slight workmanlike curve from side to side, with a good grip at each knee, and little pieces welded on,’ said the deck-beams.
Selected Stories by Rudyard Kipling Page 42