Love Defined

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Love Defined Page 10

by Kelli McCracken


  The instant I stepped outside, I realized one important fact. Darius was the one who’d brought me here. I refused to go anywhere with him now.

  Just as I went to pull my phone out of my purse, I remembered setting it on the table. The thought of going back inside caused my stomach to knot. I didn’t want to see Darius, but I needed my phone to call a cab.

  “Looking for this?”

  I glanced up in time to see Darius approaching me, holding my phone in his hand. “Give it to me. I need to call a cab.”

  I tried to take it from him but he grabbed my wrist with his other hand and pulled me to his chest.

  “You’ll get it back after we discuss what just happened, and it’s not going to be in the middle of a bar parking lot. Get your ass on the back of my bike.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  Darius smirked at me. “You will if you want this phone back.”

  10

  ~Darius~

  The short ride from the bar to my beach house didn’t leave much time for Mia to calm down. She was livid about something and she hadn’t bothered to give me an explanation. I still thought it had something to do with the kiss I’d shared with Cherry, even though Mia denied it.

  Maybe that was just me being cocky about the situation. I wanted her to be envious of the kiss even if it had meant nothing to Cherry or me. If Mia were jealous, it meant she was feeling the same thing I’d felt when I saw her and Wesley talking at the show in Jacksonville.

  As soon as she walked past me and entered the house, I closed the door. I wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed, but I feared it could go south.

  As shitty as I’d been to her, I’d never witnessed this much anger, not even when I’d insulted her the night we met. No, this had nothing to do with Cherry. Whatever had her pissed had something to do with the phone call she’d been on at the bar.

  By the time I entered the living room, Mia stood near the half-wall partition that separated the space from the kitchen. She tapped her nails against the countertop until she spotted me. With her eyes locked on mine, I didn’t look away. This conversation was long overdue.

  Stopping a foot away from her, I crossed my arms and glared. “Are you calm enough to talk to me now?”

  “I’m nowhere close to being calm,” Mia answered. “You should have given back my phone and left me alone.”

  “Yeah, like I could do that.” I moved an inch closer. “You have no idea what kind of people go into that bar. Think about every vile atrocity that could happen to a woman, and you might get an indication of why I made you leave with me. You would have been a sitting duck.”

  “I would have called a cab or a ride service. Why make me come here?”

  “Because I wanted a chance to talk to you. There are things I need to say and things I need to know. Let’s start by discussing the phone call you were on. Who was it?”

  Mia leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s funny you should ask. My dad was on the other end of that call. I wanted to see if he was interested in meeting with the band playing at the bar.”

  Her words cut deep. I guessed she was already giving up on me. “So, you were scouting other bands when you’re supposed to be focusing on mine?”

  “Like you really want me managing your band.” She shook her head. “God knows you’ve fought me from day one. Your reckless and indifferent attitude leaves much to be desired, but it finally makes sense.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  “My dad thought I called about the band because I wanted his approval to sign them and take them back to Music Haven to manage. He assumed I had given up on managing Rebel Stone.”

  “Well, haven’t you?” The words came out harsher than I intended. I eased back to study her face, the way the lines above her nose wrinkled when she frowned.

  “Up until a few minutes ago, no. I thought I was doing something good by being here, but now I’m questioning everything.”

  “Why?” I raised my voice. “What did I do this time?”

  “Don’t act like you’re not a part of this game. I know the truth, Darius. You’ve been a royal pain in the ass because it’s part of my father’s plan.”

  I jerked my head back. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Mia went toe-to-toe with me and inched closer to my face. “My father admitted how he convinced my grandfather to let me manage your band. He did it because he thought I would fail, so I can only assume you were part of his crazy plan. After all, actions speak louder than words, and your actions have said plenty.”

  My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth so tightly. It was all I could do to keep myself from losing my shit. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I go through some elaborate scheme just to help your dad?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe he asked you to help him teach me a lesson and offered his services as payment. I recall how much you looked forward to working with him, not me.”

  Guilt consumed me. “You’re right, Mia, I did say I wanted to work with him, but not for the reason you’re thinking. I have no clue what your father said to you, but I swear on my life, I wasn’t part of it.”

  Her mouth opened as if she was ready to blast me for something else, but she pressed her lips back together and sighed. The room grew so silent I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. I concentrated on the sound, allowing it to soothe my anger.

  This was my home, my hideaway from all the shit life threw at me. I didn’t want to fight with her here—or anywhere—especially over something that didn’t involve me. Her beef was with her father.

  “Mia, I know I’ve been hard to handle since the day you showed up on tour. It wasn’t easy for me to accept your help.”

  “Why, because I’m a woman?” She spat the words I once told her back at me.

  I deserved her anger for what I said back then, but she had no clue how I really felt.

  “No, Mia. It’s because I’m attracted to you. Since the moment you entered my life, I haven’t been able to focus on anything else.”

  I thought I’d finally broken through her tough exterior until she rolled her eyes.

  “After our conversation on the ride to Jacksonville, I may have believed what you just said. But following the concert, you did a one-eighty and turned into the biggest asshole. Why?”

  My pulse thumped in my throat as I struggled to speak. The night of our argument, I’d avoided a conversation that would have explained my actions, but it would have been painful. I didn’t want to open up any old wounds. Now, it was time to rip them open and let them bleed.

  Raking my hand through my hair, I eased back a couple of steps and faced the recliner. “It bothered me to see you talking to Wesley. I didn’t like it.”

  “But why?” The raspy sound of her voice caused me to wince.

  “It all goes back to Janie,” I answered.

  “Who is that?”

  When I looked at her, I noted the way her face scrunched in confusion. She deserved to know the truth. I just dreaded the walk down memory lane.

  “I got in trouble over some stupid choices I made early in my career and had to do some community service. I was assigned to work in a soup kitchen at a local church. It’s where I met Janie.”

  I still remembered the day she’d come through the line, the timid smile she gave me when I looked at her and the way her blue eyes avoided mine after I stared at her for too long. No woman had affected me the way Janie did.

  Until I met Mia.

  “Janie was living in a nearby shelter after leaving her abusive boyfriend. She was also six months pregnant. Every day I worked there, she came through my line, and we spoke a little more. Even after my community service was over, I still volunteered at the kitchen, just because I enjoyed spending time with her.”

  “I assume the two of you got together?” Mia asked in a calmer tone.

  “Yes. You see, there’s
something you don’t know about me. I’m crazy about kids. I’ve always wanted them, and even though Janie’s baby belonged to her ex-boyfriend, I wanted to raise the baby as my own.”

  Mia uncrossed her arms and joined her hands together in front of her. “That’s an honorable thing to do, Darius.”

  I waved off her comment. “I didn’t do it to be honorable. From the moment she and I got together, I became attached to that kid. I was there to feel its kicks, and see ultrasounds, and I attended every appointment Janie had. She even asked me to be there when she delivered.” My voice softened as memories flooded my mind. “That’s when things went to hell.”

  Mia blinked several times before she shook her head. “What happened.”

  “A couple of weeks before Janie’s due date, Rebel Stone was scheduled to go on a month-long tour. I cleared it with my old manager, Rick, to leave whenever I got the call that she was in labor. The thing is, I never got the call.”

  Mia took a couple of steps toward me and asked, “Did something happen?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Wesley intercepted the call. I’d left my phone in the dressing room. Wesley was with another crew member, gathering some of our equipment, when he heard it ringing.”

  “What did he say to Janie?” She inquired further.

  I closed my eyes, lost in the memories of that night. “He told her that he’d give me the message but he couldn’t interrupt me.”

  “Why not?” Mia’s voice sounded closer.

  I opened my eyes to find her standing a foot away from me, waiting for me to respond. It wasn’t easy to finish the story. Not when I knew how it ended.

  “Wesley told Janie that I was holed up in my dressing room with a couple of groupies. In truth, I’d passed out in my hotel room. When I called to check on her the next day, she told me I was too late, that she’d had the baby.” I drew in a shaky breath just as Mia touched my shoulder.

  “Did you explain to her what happened?”

  “Yeah, but it didn’t matter. She chose to believe Wesley’s lies over the truth I told her. We argued about my innocence before she told me that it was over. Despite calling her for the next month, she never accepted my calls. I finally took the hint and left her alone.”

  Mia squeezed my shoulder, reminding me how close she stood next to me. When I met her gaze, she lowered her arm back to her side. “I’m sorry, Darius. I can’t imagine how heartbroken you must have been.”

  “It was rough. I wanted to beat the hell out of Wesley and fire him. Mitch said it would be too much of a headache. He thought we’d be rid of him by now, but that’s not the case.” I hung my head and turned my back to her. The anguish left me feeling as empty now as I’d felt that day.

  Mia tugged my arm until I turned to face her. “Tell me the truth, Darius. Do you want me to give up managing Rebel Stone?”

  I shook my head, unable to look in her eyes. “No. I know you’re good for the band, and for me. I just…”

  “What is it?” she asked. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

  “I’m a fucked-up mess, Mia. You’re risking your reputation by being associated with me.”

  She reached for me again, but I avoided her touch.

  “Darius,” she said, “I’m not afraid of the rumor mill. I’m here to change the way the world looks at you, and if you let me, I’d like to change the way you look at yourself.”

  “I’m not worth the trouble, Mia. Trust me.”

  “Stop it, Darius,” she grumbled. “Let me decide if you’re worth my time and effort.”

  I glanced at the picture frame sitting on the end table next to the recliner. It was a picture of my mom and me when I was about thirteen. God, I missed her.

  Mia reached for me again, but I knocked her hand away this time. “Don’t you get it? I’m not a nice guy, Mia. I’m just like my father, an asshole who stays drunk and screws women. If you stick around, I’ll drag your name through the mud, just like I did mine.”

  This time, when I looked her way, her lower lip trembled. I fought back the urge to pull her closer and apologize. She needed to hear the truth, no matter how much it killed me to say it.

  “See. I told you I’m an asshole. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?”

  When she didn’t respond, I huffed and scrubbed my hand over my face.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” I said. “If you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you. You’d be doing yourself a favor.”

  Spinning toward the hall, I marched toward my bedroom, clenching my fist the entire way. It took everything in me to take each step and leave her behind. I had to do it. I couldn’t stand there and watch her walk out of my life forever.

  ~Mia~

  Footsteps sounded through the house, my first indication that Darius had finished his shower. Maybe he was searching for me to see if I’d left. Would it take him long to figure out that I was in the den in the back of his house, eyeing his collection of books?

  I glanced over row upon row of titles and author names, mesmerized by his eclectic taste in fiction. I even found a few of my favorites sitting on the shelves. He had enough books to make a small library. I’d never thought of him as a literary type.

  Guess I had made a lot of unfair assumptions about Darius Stone.

  After several minutes had passed, I assumed he’d given up his search for me. The house had grown quiet, other than the hum of appliances and the distant sound of waves hitting the shore. The beach house he lived in had been a nice surprise. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to the ocean.

  Once I left the den, I made my way to the kitchen when I passed another room. The door had been shut earlier but was open now. I glanced inside, noting a black, baby grand piano in the corner, near a set of French doors. They were open, and the sheer drapes covering the windows danced in the breeze.

  Darius sat on the piano bench, facing the beach. He leaned his elbows on his knees, but I couldn’t see his face. I assumed he was deep in thought or trying to unwind.

  His damp hair was spiked on the top and went in different directions. He wore a pair of sweats, but he was shirtless. I admired his muscular frame and the ink that covered different sections of his body. Some people hated tattoos, but I found them interesting. They were a piece of art and often told a story.

  I was about to clear my throat and alert him to my presence when he hung his head. A second later, his shoulders slumped, and his upper body began to shake. He placed his hands against his face, then sobbing filled the room.

  I stood in awe, disbelieving what I saw. Darius was crying. The only question that remained was why?

  The realization hit me hard. I darted inside the room, unannounced and uninvited. He could tell me to leave if he wanted, but I would check on him first. He needed to talk about whatever was bothering him.

  “Darius?” I whispered.

  His head snapped up and he turned in my direction. Something about the way his eyes darted to mine and grew wider shook me to the core. I had no doubt that he thought I’d left, but he wouldn’t be this upset over my departure.

  Whatever it was, it ate at him, and his sadness plucked at my heartstrings.

  I touched his cheek, where tears streamed. Darius’s gaze lowered to my waist, then he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my hips. The moment he buried his face against my stomach, my chest constricted. He wasn’t just crying. He was in pain.

  “Shhh. It’s okay,” I assured him. “Talk to me. What has you so upset?”

  He didn’t answer me but squeezed me tighter. His sobbing continued to the point where his body racked. I wrapped my arms around his neck and head, comforting him as best as I could. Maybe it wasn’t words that he needed. Perhaps he just needed someone to be here, someone he could lean on until he found the strength he needed to pull himself together.

  I’d be whatever he needed me to be because nothing could drag me away. This was why I’d insisted on coming on this trip with him. I
knew something was off, and I felt it in the depths of my soul. Darius wasn’t the asshole he pretended to be. He was a gentle soul, and something had broken him.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked when he finally spoke.

  “If this about that stupid argument we had, it’s okay. I should be the one apologizing to you.”

  He shook his head but kept it pressed to my side. “I don’t want to fight with you, Mia. It reminds me too much of my parents. They didn’t fight all the time, but when they did...it tore me up.”

  “I’m sorry things escalated to this point. It wasn’t my intention.” As I caressed his back, he sniffled and released a sigh. “I’m worried about you.”

  He blew out a shaky breath and looked up at me. “Do you know why I come here whenever I get a break?”

  “To relax?” I asked.

  Darius shook his head. “This house used to belong to my mother. She left it to me when she died. I come here because it makes me feel closer to her.”

  The vulnerable side of him showed through when he spoke about his mom, and it had me relating to him on a different level.

  “You mentioned her passing, but you never told me what happened.”

  He gazed past me. “It’s not something I like to discuss. She had pancreatic cancer and died my senior year. The day I lost her, my life went straight to shit.”

  When I stroked his cheek with my thumb, he leaned into my palm.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

  “What’s there to say?” he scoffed. “My father shut down and barely communicated. I had to get a part-time job to help with the bills. Even when my father came back to the land of living, all he did was work, drink, and screw women.” He winced at his own words. “I had a great role model.”

  “Does he live in the area?”

  “I have no clue where he is.” Darius looked at me again. The pain in his eyes had shifted. Anger burned inside them. “I lost track of him when the guys and I left for LA to record our first album. Our last conversation didn’t end well.”

 

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