by Deja Voss
“Doing what?” he asks. “You alright up there? Everybody’s worried about you. Pearl really wants to see her sister. You can’t hide out forever.”
“Everything’s fine. She’s fine. She just sleeps a lot. Haven’t really talked to her much at all. Just waiting on the word from you guys so I can get back to the shop full-time.” I know I’m lying through my teeth, and it hurts. I hate betraying my best friend, but until I can actually talk to Kid, until I get actual word from him, I need to play it off like I know nothing.
I guess I do know nothing.
Nothing but I want her. I need her. I’m gonna do whatever I can for her.
Driller definitely doesn’t need to know that.
“Can you at least have her call Pearl? And can you fucking call Romeo? He’s losing his shit. You’re the only one who can get through to him.”
“How’s Stoney?” I ask.
“They’re moving him to a long-term care facility. It’s not fucking good. We’re in a bad place, Ransom. If word gets out we don’t have a functional president, people are gonna start moving in.”
“What about your dad?” I ask. In the event that a president is incapacitated, our bylaws state the vice president steps up and fills his shoes. Old Nasty has been a Dead Ringer since before Driller or I was born. He’s been Stoney’s right-hand man forever. He knows how to run the club better than any of us.
“He’s a fucking disaster, too. All the old-timers. It’s like they know the clock is ticking. They look at Stoney in that hospital bed and they see themselves. They see exactly what kind of road we’re going down. The only thing they know is revenge. Pearl be damned, you might as well just toss Annabella to ’em and get it over with it so we can get on with our lives.”
“Can’t do this over the phone, brother. We ain’t doing that, though. Annabella isn’t here to fuck shit up. Somebody sent her. Somebody on the inside.”
“Goddammit,” he growls. “And when were you planning on telling me this?”
I peek through the cracks in the giant fence around Riley’s house. There’s nobody in the yard, but her Range Rover is in the driveway with all the doors open. She walks out of the house with her youngest kid in one arm, kicking and screaming. She has a big ugly dog on a leash who looks like she’s given up on life, head hanging as Riley ties her up to a post in the yard.
Two more kids come charging out of the house and pile into the SUV.
Wonder what the neighborhood would think if they knew what kind of hood rat shit their picture-perfect Riley got into in her spare time?
“Ransom!” Driller shouts on the other end of the phone.
“Kid outta solitary yet?” I whisper. Kid is the key to everything. He’s the only chance I have to make sure Annabella’s story is credible to the club. I need receipts. I’d believe anything she told me, but my brothers aren’t going to be so quick to come around.
“You have one day. I’m coming to your house tomorrow and we’re straightening all this shit out. I can’t hold the guys off much longer. They’re gonna want at least something. Whatever you’re scheming, you better get your shit in line fast or start talking. I can’t help you if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
I listen for all the car doors to slam as I crouch down behind the fence. I watch as Juniper flops down on the ground and starts ripping out clumps of grass. I’ve never seen a dog so hideous looking in my life. Her legs are long and skinny but her body is as round as a barrel and covered in long curly hair. She has a tail as long as a bullwhip, and as soon as Riley starts pulling down the driveway she starts wagging it. Smart dog.
“That’s fine,” I say. I don’t want Annabella anywhere near any of my brothers, even my best friend, but if it’ll get him off my back for a minute, I’ll agree to whatever. As soon as I get this dog and get back to the house, she’s mine and only mine for at least another night. One day at a time until I can figure out the grand scheme of things.
I lean up against the fence as the car goes speeding down the road. Juniper spots me and comes charging over.
“Hey, buddy, it’s okay… I’m a friend…” I say as she gnarls her snout and shows her teeth. She growls like she’s fixing to bust right through the heavy wood slats.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Driller asks.
“I gotta go,” I say, hanging up my phone and slipping it in my pocket, knowing instantly that’s probably not going to buy me any more time or trust. “Hey, Juniper.”
I like dogs, but I haven’t had one in a long time. Not since I was a teenager. It wasn’t really an option when I was living at the clubhouse, and even though I’d talked about it with Carley, we figured it’d be better to get the baby settled first before we brought any animals in. I don’t know the first thing about this beast that looks like she’s going to rip my face off. Maybe I should’ve brought something of Annabella’s for her to sniff to calm her down. She looks like she could swallow the stick of pepperoni in my hoodie pocket in one bite and then start going for my jugular.
I pull out my screwdriver and carefully start undoing the screws in the fence as I whisper, “nice girl, nice girl,” in the calmest voice possible. Juniper puts her teeth away and watches with curiosity. “See, I’m a friend.”
I pull the fencepost to the side so there’s about a two-foot gap. I really don’t want to reach my hand in there. Just like her mama, I’m afraid this dog will go from friendly to serial killer in a second. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
I don’t know why I expected Juniper to be something cute and cuddly I could pick up and carry down the street. I should’ve known better. I hold out my hand for her to smell it, and she wags her tail. I figure if I make it look like she slipped her collar, it’ll keep Riley out of our business, so I suck in my breath, admire my hand one last time, and hope for the best as I tear through the rhinestone studded leather band around her neck.
She blinks up at me with a kind of “what’s next?” look in her eyes and I pull out the pepperoni stick and hold it out about an arm’s length away. “You want this? Come on, girl, let’s go!”
She sniffs at it and goes to take a bite, and I take off running down the pavement, praying to God the neighbors are all too busy doing their pool boys to notice the scene. Juniper follows behind me a little closer than I’d like, her tail wagging but her teeth out.
She’s definitely her mother’s dog.
I’m sweating and out of breath by the time I get to my truck and I whip open the door to the back seat and throw the pepperoni stick inside. She jumps in and I slam the door behind her. I lean up against my truck, trying to catch my breath, and a kid peddles past on his bike, staring at me with a scowl on his face.
“Hey, bud,” I say, trying to casually wave.
He throws me a middle finger.
I shake my head and get in the truck, starting it up. By this time, Juniper’s made herself comfortable in the front seat. She’s got the seatbelt in her mouth, pulling at it as she rips the elastic fabric to shreds.
“How about we don’t do that?” I ask. I reach out my hand to pet her but she shows her teeth at me and gets back to disassembling my truck. “You’re lucky, dog. If I didn’t like your mama so much, I’d put you back where I found you.”
She barks quietly at me and curls up into a ball.
If I didn’t like her mama so much, life would be a million times easier. I could get back to my club. Get back to work. Get back to being a normal guy who doesn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. A man who could turn a blind eye to the evils of his club even if it hurt his fucking soul.
But that’s not where we are, and that’s not who I am anymore, and this damn dog snores louder than a jackhammer as she lays there blissed out without a care in the world.
I pull down the driveway to my house, and Annabella is sitting on the front porch swing with a cup of coffee in her hands, her long curly hair tucked up in a giant bun on top of her head. Her eyes look tired but she shoot
s me a sly smile as I jump out of the truck. I want nothing more than to just scoop her up and kiss her, hold her, hug her, tell her everything is gonna be alright, but I know until we talk to Kid, anything I promise her is going to be empty.
So I shove my hands in my pockets. “Got something for you,” I say, pointing to the truck.
She raises her eyebrows and approaches me cautiously.
“Gimme the keys,” she says with a wink. “I’ll be sure to total it before I ditch it so you can get the insurance money.”
I dangle the keys in the air in front of her and shove them in my front pocket. “You can fish for ’em later if you want.” I lick my lips and she blushes. I love when she blushes. Lets me know I’m hitting all the right buttons.
“Go around the passenger side,” I say. She walks around the truck and peeks in the window.
“Whose dog is that?” she asks.
“It better be yours,” I say.
She punches me in the shoulder and laughs, throwing the door open. “Oh my God, Juniper, I missed you so much!!” The dog perks up instantly, jumping into her arms, and she damn near falls to the ground trying to hold her. Juniper’s whole body wags and she licks Annabella’s face before she sets her down on the ground.
“You didn’t have to do this,” she says. “Oh Lord, she trashed your truck.”
“It was worth it to see that look on your face,” I say. I’d light my truck on fire just to witness the sheer joy. She flops down on the ground and pets her dog, tears welling up in her eyes. Juniper rests her head on her lap and she looks up at me with the sweetest smile.
“She used to terrorize my mom. She’d sneak into her room at night and lick her toes while she was asleep. She’d sneak dead squirrels in the house and hide them in Mama’s shoes. It drove her insane, but she never tried to make me give her up. This is gonna sound pathetic, but Juniper’s probably the closest friend I ever had.”
It all comes crashing over me at once how different our worlds are. She holds herself together like a normal woman, but just hearing that hurts my heart. I may not have a lot, but I have friends I can call on if I need them. Brothers. I have a safe place to live and a good job.
“I’m glad I could get her back to you. I want you to know I’ll do anything I can for you. Do you understand that?”
“It’s hard, Ransom. Hard for me to see past what’s right in front of me right now.”
“We’re gonna get through it together,” I say with confidence. I don’t know how. I don’t know what it’s going to look like. I don’t know if I’m going to have to make a choice between her and my club, but I know what I would do given the circumstance.
Right now, seeing her so innocent, so open, so vulnerable, just a woman and her best friend, I know I’ll give up whatever I have to to make sure nobody’s ever going to take from her again. I’m sure if I can make my brothers see the woman I see, they’ll understand.
They’ll know.
And if they don’t take my word for it, I know they’ll take Kid’s. It is his father she put a hit on after all.
“I like when you tell me about your mom. I like when you tell me anything about you. Makes me feel good. Like I could be your friend, too. I’m not as cute as Juniper, but if you want, I’ll lick your feet while you’re sleeping,” I say, extending my hand out to her, helping her up off the ground.
She wrinkles her nose and laughs. I know I have her body by the way she presses her lips to my cheek. I wonder if she knows how much more than that I want, though. I wonder if she knows how I want her soul. I want her everything. I don’t want this to be some one-night stand.
“Thank you. It means a lot. My dog. Your kindness. I’ll never forget you, Ransom.”
The words are supposed to make me feel good but they cut like a knife. She still thinks she’s leaving.
The only thing left to do is love her like there’s no tomorrow, because that just might be the case.
Juniper follows us inside and I walk straight to the fridge and grab a beer, offering her one. She takes it and cracks open the can and takes a huge swig from it.
“You know you can help yourself to anything you want while I’m gone,” I say.
“Why? So you can watch me get drunk and fall on my ass on your cameras?”
“Well, you are fun to watch,” I say. “Never know what to expect out of you, Bella.” I go through the cupboards and find some dishes for the dog, filling one up with water. “Probably gonna have to go to town to find some dog food.”
“She’ll be fine with whatever for now,” she says, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and sitting down. She motions for me to join her. “She’s a dumpster dog. I’m sure Riley was feeding her some gourmet shit. She’s probably happy to eat whatever we have, aren’t you, girl?” She nuzzles Juniper’s head and smiles up at me. “I have a hard time believing you’re single.”
It catches me off guard the way her eyes sparkle, the way she seems so relaxed and open. Getting her to talk has been like pulling teeth. Maybe it’s the beer. Maybe it’s the dog. I’m having trouble believing it’s me, but I sit down next to her at the table and she rests her hand on my knee.
“You always want to interrogate me. I know nothing about you, except you are a good lover, and for whatever reason, you’re willing to put your life on the line to keep me safe.”
“Only good?” I ask, rolling my eyes.
“The best,” she says, grabbing my knee just a little harder. “At least in my experience. But who are you, Ransom? What are you doing out all here all alone? What are you hiding from?”
I take a long swig from my beer. “I don’t hide from anything, Annabella. What you see is what you get.”
“You don’t let anybody see you, though. I hear you on the phone, avoiding your friends, making excuses. That can’t all be because of me.”
“It is,” I say, point-blank, knowing full well she’s absolutely right. The last year of my life I’ve been building walls. I’ve been distancing myself from everyone. I’ve been hiding from my brothers. It’s not who I am, but at this point I don’t really know who that is. “I used to be all up in the shit all the time, partying, fucking, ride or die. I had a bad breakup and I’m just trying to get my life back on track.”
“You’re hurting,” she says. “You’re hiding.”
“For somebody who claims to have nobody in the world, you sure do know how to poke your finger in a sore spot. Maybe that’s why you don’t have any friends.” As soon as it comes out of my mouth, I regret it.
“I don’t have any friends because I literally cannot have any friends. I don’t have any friends because the world can’t know I exist. I don’t have a driver’s license. I don’t have a social security number. I couldn’t even fucking go to school. Everything I know about reading and writing I learned from my mom and from books. I was so thankful Kid got me that under the table job because I had no idea how humans interacted outside of the life I knew. You think your club is who my mom and I have been hiding from all these years? Stoney and my dad were just the tip of the iceberg.” She isn’t angry. She isn’t sad. She’s speaking her truth, like she’s reading a legal document, but to me, it’s painful to hear.
“Stoney and my father were involved in a trafficking ring back in the 80s. From what I gather, they were just grunts, handing off laundered cash for a little payout. The two of them got themselves in too deep, some cash went missing, and instead of doing the right thing, they offered up my mama instead.”
“And they didn’t know she was pregnant with you at the time.”
“Oh, they knew.”
My skin crawls knowing how much time I spent with these sick bastards, thinking they were my friends. How I trusted Stoney with my life, spent the last twelve years doing anything he asked. Even admired him. Up until the Carley incident, I would’ve done anything for that man.
“I don’t know how Kid found out about it, but he found a way to get me and my mom free. He set us up with a new l
ife, made sure we never had to worry about anything as long as we laid low.”
“You gotta understand how absolutely mind-blowing that is. Kid isn’t exactly the nice guy you think he is. I wouldn’t trust him alone with my houseplants, let alone a real live human woman.”
“He’s never been anything but kind to me. Never asked me anything in return. The world he saved me from was very dark. The only thing that gave me a will to live was my mom. I saw how hard she fought to protect me and I couldn’t let her life be in vain.”
I nervously reach for her hand, squeezing it. I know I wanted it all, and yet, the way she can relive this stuff out loud without so much as batting an eye makes me feel like a weak man. I want to kill whoever hurt her. I want to lock her in my house and never let anyone come near her ever again. I want to wrap her up in bubble wrap and put her in my china cabinet and only handle her with care. I don’t want to break her anymore. She’s already been broken enough.
“The screaming when I locked you in the room…” I wince as I say it.
She puts her hand on my face, and stares in my eyes.
“How were you supposed to know? And besides that, you were just being a good soldier for your president. You were just following orders. You were supposed to destroy me, and you did. But then you backed off. It must be painful for you right now, trying to figure out how to navigate this. You have such a good kind soul, Ransom, but you are not soft. You’re strong. You know how to make me weak.”
I lift her up from her seat, grabbing her by the ass, and she wraps her legs around my waste with all her might. Our lips mash together, and she doesn’t hesitate to push her tongue inside my mouth, her fingernails digging into my back. The way she just fucking goes for it like I have something inside me that’ll save her, like I’m the cure to everything fucking wrong, it makes me hard as a rock. It’s heavy.
I carry her to the bedroom and toss her on the bed.
“Strip,” I command, as I start taking off my belt. I tug down my jeans and fist my cock in my hand, watching as she peels off her clothes, her eyes never leaving me.