by Anya Summers
Ah yeah, I’m not at the club because I found Jenna, living in Jackson Hole of all places, followed her home, and discovered I have a son. Mazel tov, it’s a boy!
“Thanks for throwing this together last minute, Dottie. I owe you one,” Carter said, entering the kitchen just as Dottie was setting the table with plates of brisket, mashed potatoes, and green beans.
“Oh, it’s no bother at all. I must say, Liam is just a doll and the spitting image of you, Mister Carter,” Dottie replied.
“Why don’t you head on home? I’m sure Herb will be wanting his dinner and I can make sure Jenna gets what she needs.”
Dottie gave him a smile. “If you’re sure you will be okay or don’t need anything.”
“I’m positive we can manage for one night on our own. Git on with you. Tell Herb I said thanks for the loan and I will see you both in the morning,” Carter ordered with a smile, nodding toward the backdoor.
“Congrats on your little one. I cannot wait to tell Herb we’re grandparents,” Dottie replied with a bounce in her step.
Dottie hastened out the back door. She’d been like a second mother to Carter and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would spoil Liam, dote on him as any grandmother would. And since both his and Jenna’s mothers were no longer alive, his son was lucky to have Dottie. He watched her from the mudroom as she went home to make sure she didn’t run across any predators out for an evening stroll. Kyle stayed in an apartment over the barn and tended to watch all the horses at night. But, when it got this dry out, the big game came out searching for water and, on their trail, the predators.
Herb had been right in his estimation earlier that they were short a few hands. Some of the college kids who had worked the ranch over the last few years had moved on, either to another town or to another ranch, or to one of the nearby cities for better work opportunities. Carter didn’t blame them, but he also hadn’t made sure their positions had been refilled—choosing instead to work himself like a pack mule.
But now that Liam was here, now that his son existed, Carter didn’t want to miss a minute more of his life than absolutely necessary. When he saw Dottie alight the steps to her front porch, he shut the back door and headed back into the kitchen proper. Jenna trailed quietly back in with their son in her arms, uncertainty dotting her visage. The woman was wound tight, and while their new living situation was a change, to be sure, Carter didn’t like the stress he was seeing.
All the protective urges she’d engendered in him on the island were cascading back into his being. He wanted to ease her mind, ease her burdens, and help her relax. He wanted a return of the sassy, mouthy woman who made him burn like a thousand suns and gave him cause to redden her behind.
He craved the chance to touch her. Not just to sate his lust, but to make sure she was real. A part of him, the part that had doubted he would ever see her again, doubted that this was all real, and figured he was hallucinating her return into his life. That it was too good to be true, having Jenna here, installed in his home with their son. Liam was utterly perfect, a son any man would be proud to call his own. And Carter couldn’t get past the fact that he was real. That Jenna was here, and living in his home.
“Where’s Dottie?” Jenna asked, her gaze a little frantic as she searched for his cook and housekeeper.
“I sent her home. It’s later than I normally keep her here.”
“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make anyone late,” Jenna said, putting Liam in the carrier with a binky.
“It’s fine. She was thrilled to get to meet Liam. And during the day, if you need any help, she will be here for you,” Carter explained, hoping the news would help her relax.
Jenna eyed the table.
“What would you like to drink?” Carter asked, wanting to put her at ease. She was like a spooked mare, ready to race off at the slightest provocation.
“A glass of milk, if you have one. Or just some water, or both. I tend to need to hydrate like crazy and am always thirsty now that I’m nursing Liam every few hours,” she explained, a blush spreading over her cheeks.
“It doesn’t seem that unusual that you need more fluids with feeding Liam. A lot of my mares are the same way after they foal. I will get you both to help you replenish. Why don’t you have a seat at the table and I’ll bring your drinks over,” Carter gave the subtle command.
He poured two glasses for her, milk and water, then nabbed a bottle of Corona for himself. Tucking the beer under his arm, he carried her drinks over and joined her at the table. Their son slept soundly in his carrier, his little mouth slack around the binky.
After depositing her glasses near her plate, he slid into the seat beside her at the head of the table and opened his beer with a twist. He took a long draught, studying her, and wondered why she wasn’t eating. Was she not hungry? Not feeling well? He had to admit, while his plan to get her here had seemed sound, now that the logistics were done with, he was a little lost in the woods himself.
“So what are your plans for us?” she asked.
“Us?” Christ, but he wanted there to be an ‘us’. That’s what he had been feeling from the moment he’d found her and Liam. He wanted to erase the months of separation between them and pick right back up where they had left off. He wanted her to belong to him in every way possible. He wanted to possess her heart, body, and soul.
“Liam and me. You got us here. Now what?” she asked, and it was then that he noticed how tightly clenched her hands were in her lap. The knuckles were white with her unease.
What was she so afraid of? What had happened to her in the time they’d been apart?
“Now we live, like normal people. I work my ranch. You take care of Liam during the day, and we just go from there. But you have help now. In the evenings I will be here to help you with him.”
“And my job? I can’t live off you, Carter. I won’t,” Jenna said defiantly, some of her old spunk returning.
“Let’s not address that topic tonight, shall we? Can we just eat dinner and get the both of you settled in? Give me a chance to become acquainted with my son,” Carter said, wanting to get to the bottom of her disquiet—but it wouldn’t be tonight.
“Okay, I guess we don’t have to solve everything right now,” she murmured.
“Good, now eat. Trust me, Dottie’s cooking is just the best you’ll find in the state,” he said.
She did as he asked and took a bite. At her blissful expression and tiny moan of delight, he grinned. Dottie’s cooking was just this side of heaven. They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes. Hunger had taken over for Jenna. He was glad she was eating heartily. She needed it. For a woman who’d just given birth, she was decidedly too thin. What with the half steak he’d plowed through at Teton Brewery, he wasn’t famished, and had only taken a half portion for himself.
“When was Liam born?” he asked, curious about his son.
“May first at Tampa General,” Jenna replied, wiping her mouth with her napkin.
“And you moved here to Jackson Hole so I could be near him?” he questioned, wanting answers to some of the questions that plagued him.
“Yes and no. Meghan was accepted to intern at the Alpine Science Institute. She applied without telling me. Did it after I had discovered I was pregnant. We’ve only been here since mid-June. We had to wait until Liam was old enough to make the drive from Tampa, and I had some complications with his birth. It took us almost a week because of how often we had to stop with him.”
Her answer mollified him a little, but still… “What complications? Are you all right? Why didn’t you contact me when you discovered you were pregnant? Let me know that I was going to be a father? I really don’t understand why you didn’t. Jared had my number and I told him to give it to you if you asked for it. I looked for you, you know.”
“Wait, you did?” Jenna said, sitting back in her chair, her shock evident. It seemed like it hadn’t even occurred to her that he might have wanted to further their relationship
.
Well, perhaps if he had told her as much… While he’d asked her to spend more time with him, he’d never let her know his feelings for her. He could be so dense and thick sometimes, never realizing that she’d needed the words, not just his actions. “Yes, I did. I wanted more with you after that week. Surely you knew that. I asked you to come with me that day, and figured you understood it went a hell of a lot deeper. Why didn’t you contact me?”
Jenna’s eyes welled with tears, turning them into liquid sapphires. “I wanted to, Carter. Please believe me. I left the island in September. My life just went to hell and back.”
“How? Why did you leave the island? I thought you needed that job—although you never told me why.”
“My dad was sick. I was the one taking care of all his medical bills and the costs for him staying in an assisted living facility. He had dementia and needed round the clock care. I had just found out I was pregnant with Liam when I got the call that his condition was deteriorating rapidly. So I left the island to be with him until he passed away.”
Oh, baby. Carter wished she would have told him. He could have kicked himself for failing her. He’d wanted more and had let his ego get the better of him instead of putting her first. If he’d done his job properly as her Dom, he would have drawn this information out of her on the island. He asked, “When did he die?”
“Right before Christmas. And between the last of his medical bills and making sure Meghan finished college, I was working nonstop. I’m so sorry, I truly never meant to keep him from you. This last year has been one for the record books. We had to sell my parents’ house to help cover the last of Dad’s medical bills and liquidate his estate.”
He threaded his hand around hers. The urge to protect her, be her bastion against life’s storms gripped him. While there was a part of him which felt cheated, betrayed by her even, over missing the first two and a half months of Liam’s life, he let it go. He finally understood the shadows in her eyes that were now mingled with grief. This was what her sister had meant in her car earlier. Jenna had been the one handling her dad’s care, funeral, everything. Ensuring her sister was taken care of, footing the bill for it all, too, it seemed. Christ, when his mom had gotten ill, his dad had stopped working to be at her side, but he’d been able to afford it. And still the stress of the loss, watching the cancer eat away at his wife—the stress had sent his dad’s health into such a severe decline, he’d followed her a year later.
Carter could only imagine not having that luxury, the weight of responsibility that she’d carried on her delicate shoulders. “Jenna, I’m sorry. Truly. Watching a parent die is hellish to begin with, but I didn’t know the rest. I remember that you needed the job on the island but I hadn’t understood how much. I do wish you would have called me, though. I would have helped you, surely you know that.”
She shook her head, inhaling a deep breath before she replied, “It doesn’t matter now. I can’t change the past or the choices I made. It wasn’t done to hurt you. Please believe me. Just know I’m ashamed that I didn’t tell you sooner. I was working twelve and fourteen hour days. I kept telling myself that I would contact you the next day, then something would happen with my dad, or work would call me in early. I lived in this bubble where the outside world sped by while my days seemed to blend into each other. Before I even had a chance to catch my breath from it all, Liam was born. And I still hadn’t let you know.”
It took everything inside him not to pull her into his lap and comfort her. Any anger he felt melted away. There was no lie in her eyes, only sorrow and remorse. He asked, hating to press her further but needing his lingering questions answered, “And you’ve lived in Jackson Hole for a month? Why didn’t you come to me?”
Her voice a ragged whisper, she replied, “Because I was afraid. Carter, I didn’t ask you if you wanted to be a father. I just went ahead and had him. I know I cheated you out of that choice. And, deep down, I was terrified that you wouldn’t want him and would hate me for my decision. Liam’s the most precious thing in my life. Before he came along, I didn’t have a direction in my life other than working enough to pay bills. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone before. And if you didn’t want him, I wanted to delay that confrontation because he’s the best thing about me. I hadn’t done anything meaningful or worthwhile until I had him.”
“Jenna, look at me,” Carter softly commanded, then waited until her tear-filled gaze rose and met his. “While I wish I had known sooner, it’s water under the bridge. We can’t change it but we can move past it, you and I. You had your reasons and I don’t fault you for them, nor will I punish you for them. I want him. Never think for a second that I don’t. He will always have a place here with me, and so do you. You’re not alone in this anymore. We will raise our son together.”
Jenna replied, “Just like that, all is forgiven? You’re not worried that we will get on your nerves, or that—”
“I’m sure I will get on yours from time to time. If I recall, you tended to want to strangle me on occasion on the island. In fact, I can remember a particularly wet occurrence when I first arrived,” he said, and got a small watery laugh from her. “Are there concerns? Sure. But that’s just life, Jenna, you can’t stop living it out of fear. We’ll figure it out. And the best part is, we have time. It doesn’t all have to be decided tonight, thank goodness. If you’re finished, why don’t I show you where your bedroom is and while you unpack your things, I can hold Liam for a bit. Sound good?”
“Yes. Carter, I… truly I am more sorry than you will ever know that I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m glad you want to be in his life.” Jenna disentangled her hand and glanced at Liam still asleep in his seat.
Resisting the urge to heft her onto his lap and cuddle her, Carter collected their dishes and set them in the sink for Dottie the next day. There would come a time when he would push and make her confront her grief. And he would be there for her. Carter would prove to her that she wasn’t alone anymore.
As he turned from the sink, he saw Jenna near the table, holding the handle of Liam’s seat. Carter wasn’t going to let her carry him up the stairs when she was clearly exhausted.
“Here, let me help,” he said, gripping the handle and lifting it out of her hands. With Liam secure, he pressed his free hand against her lower back, escorting Jenna to her room. He’d put her in the room next to his, for a couple reasons. One was that he wanted her and Liam nearby. There was a room across the hall from his he had in mind for Liam’s nursery. Second, his plan to seduce her would work better if the distance between them was negligible. The ever-present sensual current between them would be hard for either of them to resist with such close contact, and he was counting on that fact to give him an edge. Third, this room had its own bathroom, which he thought Jenna would appreciate. And fourth, the bed in here was large enough for him to fit on, and since he had every intention of seducing her, that made it convenient for him.
When he opened the door, he studied her expression. It was a beautiful room, with blue-gray walls and exposed, pecan-colored wooden beams in the high ceiling. There was a bank of arched windows with a seating area that would be nice for her to sit with Liam. The hardwood floors gleamed. The king-sized four poster bed had thick columns at its four corners that resembled Greek columns, and were partially made with a gray marble and golden leaf design.
“It’s a lovely room,” she murmured, but seemed almost hesitant to touch anything.
Liam yawned and started to fuss. When Jenna started toward them, Carter said, “I’ve got him. Get your things put away, or as much as you can.”
He lifted Liam from his seat and went over to the window. His son blinked up at him, his eyes so much like his, and studied him. At the window, Carter explained in a low voice what lay beyond. How, when Liam was old enough, he would teach him to ride horses, how to care for them, and muck their stalls. Liam responded to his voice, his fists waved in excitement, and he grinned as he peered up at C
arter with interest.
As he and Liam enjoyed each other’s company, Carter paid attention to Jenna peripherally. It was hard for him not to when her scent was all around him. Her very presence electrified him. Jenna unpacked, and while some of her tension had dissolved now that they had cleared the air, hints of strain lingered in her frame. They would work on that; Carter would help her relax and feel comfortable here.
After an hour with Liam, who’d begun to doze in his arms, Carter noticed Jenna’s eyes were drooping with exhaustion.
“That’s enough for tonight. Why don’t you get some sleep,” he said, nodding toward the bed.
“But Liam—”
“Is already asleep,” he replied and laid him in the bassinette next to her bed. He watched her wearily climb in before he headed toward the door.
“Good night, Carter,” Jenna said with a sleepy sigh.
“Sleep well, Jenna,” he replied, flipping the light off as he exited. The room remained lit by a small nightlight Jenna had placed near Liam’s bed.
Carter shut the door quietly and then headed to his room. He was totally, one hundred percent enamored with his son. He couldn’t wait to watch him grow. Teach him how to ride, how to manage the ranch. He’d have to make a call to his attorney in the morning, to make sure Liam was made his sole beneficiary. If anything were to happen to Carter, he would make damn certain his son was protected. And that included his son’s mother.
The most startling thing to happen to him today wasn’t the fact that he’d discovered that he was a father. No, that little bit of news—while certainly unexpected and out of left field—felt right and made him deliriously happy. What was most surprising wasn’t how swiftly his love for Liam had come, but the fact that he was still in love with Liam’s mother. All the feelings he had for her had come rushing back to the surface.
The intensity and size of his feelings staggered him. They’d grown—or maybe they’d always been this deep and life-altering but he’d corralled them over this past year. Much like his herd. This changed everything. His seduction wasn’t just a campaign to entice her back into his bed. He didn’t want to expel her from his system—and heart. No, Carter planned to integrate Jenna into his life and keep her there. This time for good. She was his submissive, and had been from the moment she given him a wet welcome on the island.