by Anya Summers
Yet now she was here. In his room, his bed. A vision in seductive white. Carter was instantly hard. Fuck, he wanted to claim her. Make his mark on her to warn other Doms away. She set a walkie-talkie style baby monitor remote on his nightstand.
“Need something, Jenna?” he asked, his voice rough from sleep and the lust pounding through his body.
She straddled him and drew her nightgown up over her head, revealing her gorgeous body. Her tits swayed, heavy and enticing. Motherhood looked good on her.
“Yes, Sir. You, please. I need you,” she begged and leaned forward, nipped his chin, and rocked her hips against his cock. At the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest, he growled, then rolled over, pinning her body beneath his. Her admission made him feel like he could take on the world. It was progress in his quest to claim her, not just for the night or temporarily, but forever. He wanted her, like this, in his bed and his life, for as long as he drew breath into his lungs.
Carter lowered his mouth, possessing hers with a guttural moan. He wanted her surrender, her submission, but more importantly, he wanted her heart. He explored her mouth. Instead of giving her the flash bang fireworks that always seemed to be present whenever they touched, he meandered. Kissing her deeply, thrusting his tongue inside in long, languid strokes.
Her body softened beneath his, from the livewire of need she’d been into a slow burn of aching desire. Her hands clutched at his shoulders. She returned his kiss, her tongue sliding along his, and liquid tugs of need pooled in his core. As hard as he was, he wanted to draw it out. Dominate the very fabric of her being until he was the only one she wanted.
He kissed her until she was clawing at his shoulders and rocking her hips against his. He lifted his head and nearly lost his nerve as she looked at him with such passion and desire. She made him lose control. It took everything in him not to plunge ahead and forget his seductive campaign.
He circled her wrists, removing them from his neck. He drew her arms above her head with one hand. Reaching over to his nightstand with the other, he grabbed a pair of leather cuffs. The same ones she’d worn on the island.
“You kept them?” she murmured the moment she spied them.
“Of course I did. They look good on you. And I’ve been waiting for the right moment to put them back on you,” he said, fastening them around her delicate wrists. Then he connected them to a loop on his headboard.
“Carter,” Jenna purred.
He caressed her cheek. “Just enjoy, darlin’. Come as many times as you need to.”
She moaned, and he felt it in his chest. By the time he was done with her tonight, her body would crave none other but his, forever. After a brief, hungry kiss, he moved to her boobs. Cupping the heavy globes in his hands, he took his time exploring them, laving her engorged nipples. They were nearly always swollen and puckered. He fucking loved it, enjoying the taste of her as he sucked on the buds.
Then he moved, traveling south until his face was nestled between her thighs. Christ, she made a picture, restrained and naked in his bed. Her thighs spread before him. Her gaze was at half mast, passion blazing in the blue depths of her eyes. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Love for her swamped him and drove him onward. Spreading her pussy folds, he swiped his tongue across her clit. At her garbled groan, satisfaction speared through him
And then he ate her pussy, letting her flavor linger on his tongue. Her musky scent filled his nostrils and spurred him on. Her cries pierced the stillness as he teased her nub until it swelled.
“Sir,” she cried. Her dew flooded his mouth and he growled, wanting more from her, wanting all of her.
He feasted on her cunt, penetrating her sheath, holding her hips steady, watching the rise and fall of her breasts as desire overrode her. He loved the way she trembled in his arms. How she strained in his cuffs—the only cuffs she would ever wear again if he had anything to do with it. Her sharp mewls, as she came again and again against his mouth.
Soon she was mindless and begging, her pleas adding embers to the inferno of desire raging through his bloodstream. Yet he didn’t stop. Sweat slicked his form. His dick strained to feel the hot clasp of her pussy, and still he drove her body up another peak.
And then he felt it. The moment she let go and surrendered herself fully into his hands. He bit down on her clit and she screamed. Her body quaked as she climaxed.
Carter lifted his head, his chin coated with her juices, and crawled his way up her body until they were chest to chest. Her breasts pressed against him, tiny trails of milk leaking from them.
Grasping his dick, he fit the crest between her swollen folds, poised to penetrate, and growled, “Look at me.”
Her eyelids fluttered open. Only then did he slide home, thrusting until he was buried so deep, his crown grazed the lip of her womb. Her eyes began to slide shut once more. He gripped her throat with one hand and said, “Keep your eyes on me, darlin’, or I will stop and make you watch me masturbate.”
Her gaze snapped back open and she moaned, “Yes, Sir.”
His other hand palmed her ass, holding her steady as he ground his hips, his cock plunging deep. He fucking loved how her cunt squeezed him. She was so damn tight. Her Kegel muscles fluttered around his girth, trying to draw him deeper.
He controlled his strokes and measured his thrusts, watching her expression as he delved deep with each penetration. She writhed beneath him. His fingers dug into her ass.
Sweat slicked his back. Yet still he pressed on, drawing her legs up around his waist. Changing the angle, pounding deeper. He reveled in her moans. In the way her arms strained their bonds.
Carter increased his tempo. His own needs battered at his control. It was all Jenna. She’d been the only sub to ever upend his control, make him crave her flesh, her body, like he needed air to breathe.
“Please, Sir!” she cried raggedly.
His control snapped. Carter let loose and hammered his cock inside her quaking heat. Over and over, he plunged. Lightning arced along his spine. Jenna’s moans spurred him onward. He gathered her close and buried his face against her shoulder. He slammed his cock in short, brutal digs.
His dick swelled.
“Oh god, Sir,” Jenna wailed. Her pussy clamped around his thrusting member.
Her climax set off a chain reaction. Carter thrust, his body strained. His cock surged as semen poured into her quaking pussy. He glided in and out, rocking his hips until the last drop.
“I can’t wait to put you on a St. Andrew’s Cross again and flog your sweet ass,” he murmured against her throat. Her pussy clenched around his cock and he chuckled. “I think someone else wants that too.”
He reached up above their heads and undid her restraints, unlatching the cuffs from the headboard. But he left them on her wrists. They were where they belonged. He gave her a brief, tender kiss before he withdrew his softening shaft from her channel. Then he shifted, rolling onto his back. He drew her body with his so that she lay against his side, her head pillowed on his chest.
“What are we doing here, Carter? Because if it’s just scratching an itch, I think it would be best if we stop. That tonight should be it. For Liam’s sake, I don’t want things to end badly, and if we’re just screwing each other because we’re convenient, then—”
Carter tensed beside her. He cupped her chin and drew her gaze up to his, then said, “You’re not convenient, Jenna. I haven’t been with another sub, another woman, since our time together on the island. There’s been no one but you. Do you understand?”
“Wait, what? You haven’t? Why not?” she asked.
“I have feelings for you, Jenna. And I think, if you admit it, you have feelings for me too. From the very beginning, this has always been more than scratching an itch.”
“I do,” she admitted, then shifted her gaze away.
“But?” He hated that he had to press her. But they had reached a tipping point in their relationship. He felt it, and knew she did too.
“I’m t
errified, Carter,” she admitted, and he spied the sheen of moisture lining her lashes.
Christ, why hadn’t he seen that? Maybe because she was always so fierce, so independent, so determined to forge ahead on her own that he’d never for one second believed she was afraid. Every protective instinct he had barreled to the forefront. He wanted to shield her, have her lean against him and let him battle her monsters. He asked, tracing his thumb over her cheek, “Why? You know that you’re safe with me.”
“Because what happens to me when you get bored and don’t want me anymore? I learned at a really young age not to depend upon anyone. I don’t know if I have it in me to trust someone fully, to submit completely. And eventually that lack of ability in me will wear thin and you won’t want me anymore,” she admitted, a few stray tears escaping.
Why hadn’t he seen just how traumatized she was by the last year? Hell, by a lifetime of having to be so incredibly strong in the face of such a daunting task as caring for everyone else. It struck him then. And yes, he was a bit slow on the uptake. She’d not had anyone take care of her since she was a little girl. For all that she was submissive—and she was—she’d spent such a long time holding things together, she didn’t know how to let another care for her.
He made the vow here and now, that he would prove it to her. Teach her how to let him care for her. That was his job as her Dom. And he was hers in every sense of the word.
Cradling her face, he murmured, “Baby, listen. Life’s not certain. You know that. But I know I want you more than anything in my life. Trust me to care for you. Give me your cares and worries. I won’t leave you alone to face them. You have to know that by now.”
“Because of Liam?” she asked, and her lower lip trembled.
“No. Even without him, I would want you. I’m turning the tables. Am I just convenient for you? Was there another Dom after me? I’m okay if there was, we made no commitment to each other on the island. But am I keeping you from someone you would rather be with?”
She shook her head and replied, “No, there’s been no one since. And I’m not sure, Carter. What we had on the island seems so long ago… after everything that’s happened since then, I don’t know if it’s smart of me—or us—to go down this path again. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you, because I do, with every fiber of my being. I’m just not sure it’s wise, though, for either of us.”
“I see,” he replied. His heart squeezed painfully. Carter couldn’t do half measures with her anymore. He couldn’t love her and not have her in his bed permanently. It was clear that she wasn’t on the same page as him.
He slid from his bed, unmindful of his nudity—or hers. Then he scooped her up in his arms. He carried her back into her room as she sputtered and clutched at his shoulders.
In her room, with the nightlight ablaze, he saw that Liam was sleeping peacefully in his bassinette. He deposited Jenna on her bed and withdrew from her. His heart felt like it was being wrenched from his chest.
“You let me know when you get that figured out. Until then, I ask that you stay out of my room,” Carter murmured and turned away. He had to, feeling his heart break. He was playing for keeps and he wasn’t certain she was all in. As much as he loved her, he wouldn’t force her to love him back. Either she loved him or she didn’t, but until she made up her mind, he was done playing house with her. He didn’t want it to be play, he wanted it in truth, wanted it to be real. Wanted her to be the one who, forty years from now, he looked across the table at and smiled, knowing they’d made it together.
“Carter?” Jenna said when he reached the door, her voice ragged.
He turned and looked at her in the bed, the sheets clutched to her chest. Her golden hair tumbled around her shoulders and her lips were swollen from his kisses. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
The finality of it struck him. He felt like King Tut had just kicked him in the gut. All the oxygen expelled from his lungs and he needed to escape before she witnessed the devastation her words had wrought. With a brief nod, he fled, closing the door quietly behind him so he didn’t disturb Liam.
He retrieved a pair of sweats from his room, then strode down to his stocked bar in the game room and proceeded to do something he hadn’t done in years. He drank until he passed out, until he no longer felt like he was hemorrhaging internally.
Chapter 21
Jenna was at a crossroads and uncertain about the direction she should take. She’d messed up with Carter. Big time. The man was barely speaking to her. And well, why would he? She’d all but told him she didn’t trust him—when that wasn’t the case. She didn’t trust herself; trust herself to love him and not lose herself in him.
Jenna noticed the drastic change in Carter since that fateful night. And it was not for the better. He’d withdrawn. Erected barriers between them. They conversed about work as she tallied and waded through the ranch accounts. They made small talk over dinner. He spent every evening with Liam. Those two were bonding like mad. She could tell they would be thick as thieves as Liam grew. Carter didn’t hold back his enthusiasm or his warmth from their son. He took him to the stables. Read to him. She’d started pumping breastmilk for bottles and Carter would feed him. Carter held nothing back when it came to Liam. It was her he distanced himself from.
There were no more kisses or midnight lovemaking sessions. No teasing. No holding her while she fed Liam. He rarely ventured past her bedroom door. A week passed, then another, and the distance between them was killing her.
She discovered his dungeon one day while Liam was napping, comically enough, in the basement behind the locked door. She’d located the key easily behind the bar in the game room. The dungeon was filled with every piece of naughty furniture imaginable. A ghost of an idea surfaced, which she quickly smothered that night when Carter barely even glanced in her direction over dinner.
Today, Meghan was watching Liam while she completed her online class, microeconomics. She was in the sunroom and submitting her work when Meghan strolled in with Liam. She was outfitted in her resort uniform already; skin-tight tan cargo pants and a fitted black polo, her blonde hair pulled back in a thick braid.
“What have you two been up to?” Jenna asked as they approached her. She closed her laptop, her attention diverted to her son.
“We did some tummy time and some bouncy seat, then we read some stories and played,” Meghan said, handing him over.
“Say, you love hanging out with your Aunt Meghan, don’t you, my love?” Liam grinned and kicked his feet.
Meghan joined her on the lounger, sitting near the end, and asked, “What’s going on, Jenna?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Meghan rolled her eyes and said, “Between you and Carter. I’ve noticed the strain between the two of you the last few times I’ve been here. What happened? I thought things were going so well.”
Deflated, Jenna confessed, “I messed things up. It’s my fault and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Do you want to?”
“Yeah, I do, but I think I pushed him too far. Serves me right. I should never have let things get so complicated between us, should have kept my distance and made it all about Liam.”
“Jenna, I don’t buy that. You’ve got to stop living in the past. I know you had it rough taking care of all of us, but you have to know that Carter’s not Dad. He’s not going to fall apart when something bad happens and make you pick up the pieces.”
“Meghan!” Jenna exclaimed.
“What? I loved Dad with everything I am but that doesn’t mean I didn’t see his faults or love him any less because of them. He placed a heavy burden on your shoulders at a young age because he couldn’t deal. That’s on Dad, a reflection of him, not you. And then again when he got sick, begging promises out of you that you never should have had to live up to. Including taking care of me and helping me with college. I’m sorry I let you handle that burden for me. I didn’t really understand the toll it was taking on you.
I’m going to pay you back every cent. I know I don’t have to, but I want to. You can put it into a college fund for this little guy if you don’t want it. But I’m going to give you a piece of advice. A man like Carter doesn’t come along very often. He’s a rare find. I know you love him.”
Jenna admitted, “I do, but how do you know that?”
“Because I know you. And you don’t get bent out of shape for nothing, only for those you care about. Jenna, you would donate body parts to the people you love if they needed them. It’s time you started giving yourself the same care. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been with Carter—when you allowed yourself to be. So fix it. I think you know how, you’re just too afraid to take the leap.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if I killed whatever was there because I’m an idiot?” Jenna whispered her deepest fear.
“Jenna, any other man would have tossed you out. While I might not have been his cheerleader from the start, I’ve watched him with you and the man adores you. He’s not going to let you down and make you carry his burdens like Dad did. In fact, I think if you let him, he’d shoulder yours.”
“What would you do, if you were in my shoes?” Jenna asked.
“For the right guy, the real question is what wouldn’t I do,” Meghan replied, her gaze steady and filled with warmth.
There was a knock on the door. Jenna and Meghan glanced over. Spencer filled the doorway, a gift box in his hands. He wore a black tee that stretched across his chest with the name of a band on it. His jeans were fitted, stressed at the knees. His aviator sunglasses were hooked into the neckline of his shirt.
At the sight of him, Meghan stood and said, “I’ve got to get to work. Think about what I said.”
Her sister marched toward the doorway that Spencer currently occupied.
“Do you mind?” Meghan gestured in her attempt to pass by him.
“Actually, I do. You don’t have to rush off on my account,” Spencer replied, glancing at Meghan, his black gaze unreadable as he stared at her.