by C. L. Stone
He shook his head and before I could ask further, the door opened and Brandon poked his head out. His sun-kissed hair was a mess and his tanned, sculpted face had a mark on the cheek like he’d been leaning his hand against it. He wore a pair of sport shorts, showing off lean and fit legs, and a loose-fitting T-shirt, which hung from his broad shoulders.
I peered up at him. His sad cerulean eyes caught mine instantly and he took a step back. Raven and Marc moved around him, heading deeper into the apartment.
I stalled, and Brandon lingered back with me after he shut the door. We had a rather crazy history, even if it was short. He’d kissed me once, and then we hadn’t talked about it since.
Brandon closed in on me by the door. His arm went up against the wall, blocking me off from the rest of the apartment in the small hallway. The sleeve of his T-shirt slid down his arm, and I got an eyeful of his flexed bicep.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded, unsure how to talk to him. Vibes rippled from him, whispering over my skin. His sad eyes scanned me, top to bottom and back, as if disbelieving me. Was it about Wil, or had he heard about Jack? Would he think I was so completely messed up, that there was no way I could handle something like this?
He checked over his shoulder, deciding how much time he had to keep me trapped by the door. He leaned in, his face coming close to mine. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” he asked.
Oh. That part. When I’d left before, Marc ran in, got my bags and then I disappeared. I couldn’t handle a goodbye at the time. I wasn’t sure I’d have been able to leave, even though I needed to. I left it to Marc to make excuses for me.
To Brandon, it probably meant I wanted to avoided him. The truth was, I did.
I stared back at him, questioning him in return. Was he okay with me being here? Did he understand what I was going through at all? Whatever he was thinking, I wasn’t going to stand there at his door if he didn’t want me around.
He stared at me for a while, and it was hard to read his face other than the sad eyes that melted my insides. We were waiting each other out, daring the other to start a fight or say anything.
After a moment, he reached out slowly to me. I stilled, waiting to see what he would do.
His arms went around my shoulders and he hugged me. My chest pressed against his, crushing my breasts between our bodies. Out of instinct, I reached around his stomach, hugging in return.
It felt so incredible. I’d seen him hours ago and it was like I’d been missing for a lifetime and he was going to let me know he felt every second of it. I smothered my face into his chest, taking advantage of the bit of comfort I could get from him.
“Kayli!” called a voice, very similar to Brandon’s.
“I want to talk to you later,” Brandon whispered against my ear. He released me and backed away. My heart thudded as he did, and he kept his eyes on me as I finally walked around him deeper into the apartment.
“Kayli?” Corey was in the dining room inside the workstation that had been set up. He tapped at the keyboard and some of the windows diminished. He stepped away from the computer. He was a mirror image of Brandon, only with smiling eyes and often a happier disposition than his brother. He wore a blue Superman T-shirt and jeans and was barefoot.
Brandon followed close behind me, placing a palm between my shoulder blades, a reassuring touch, inviting me in.
Corey hurried over and hugged me around the shoulders, forcing Brandon to let go. At first, it was loose and friendly, and then he squeezed me tighter. “I can still do some things,” he said, “if you want me to keep looking. I didn’t want you to think we’re just giving up.”
My heart skipped at his warmth. “We’re waiting until Monday,” I said, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing tight. He held on for so long, it was almost embarrassing, but soon released me.
“Anything else we should do?” Corey asked.
I stood on the carpet, shifting from foot to foot in Marc’s boots, wondering if I was making the right choice. I turned to Brandon, questioning him about this. He was an older brother. He’d understand and could let me know if I was making the right decision. “If Wil has been showing up at school regularly, he’ll probably show up Monday.”
“Probably?” Brandon asked, echoing that little bit of doubt that made me feel guilty about waiting.
“It’s either this,” Marc said from the kitchen as he was unfolding boxes of nuggets, “or we go ask school kids that we’re looking for him. Axel’s already done a few and we’re probably causing more harm than good looking for him this way. If word gets to him, he may disappear altogether instead of showing up to school. The other students will tell him someone is looking for him and he may run. What else can we do?”
Brandon hesitated and then looked at me. I could almost hear his thoughts. Are you okay with this?
I nodded to him. “Tell me,” I said. I wasn’t really asking, I was begging. Silently, I searched him for answers. Tell me I’m not a horrible older sister and that if I stop now, I’m not making the biggest mistake and Wil ends up dead in a gutter?
Brandon shook his head slightly and then roughed his fingers through his short hair. “No, you’re right. If all the basics are covered, hospitals and the police station...”
“Took care of that,” Corey said.
“Then there’s nothing to do,” Brandon said. “Except wait. We don’t want to scare him into running off. He isn’t some toddler that ran off and doesn’t know how to defend himself. He’s almost an adult, so I assume he knows better than to walk into dark alleys or do something dangerous.”
That left me with a minor bit of relief. It wouldn’t make waiting any easier, and it wouldn’t make the guilty feeling go away. I wasn’t confident in my decision making at the moment. Their plan sounded logical, though. The waiting was nagging, but they were right, rushing around may do more harm than good. If I’d disappeared for Wil’s sake and heard he was looking for me before I was ready to be found, I may have hidden away somewhere, too.
It made him being missing worse, like he was running away not just from Jack, but from me, too.
“Let’s eat,” Raven said. He brought out red cups, and poured everyone a Coke, except for me. I still had my milkshake.
Raven and Marc brought all the food on paper plates to the living room. I sat cross-legged on the floor and ate another box of nuggets and half of a box of fries. Marc and Corey were on the couch and were the only ones talking during the whole meal, only checking in with each other about making sure all hospitals and police stations were flagged by going down a list. Everyone else was like me, stuffing faces.
When I was done, I fell on my back against the carpet and stared at the ceiling. Raven gave me an eyeball, but when I didn’t move, he took the other half of my box of fries, adding it to his own plate quietly.
There was a scrape at the door like a key being pushed against the lock. Axel materialized in the doorway. His dark jacket was wet and his black hair was soaked against his face, hanging around his chin. His angled, stiff jaw, pursed lips, and dark eyes carried absolutely no clue as to his mood.
“When did it start raining?” Marc asked.
“Five minutes ago,” Axel said, his voice smoky and severe. “Waited for me to get out of the car and probably stopped when I stepped inside the building.” He shed his jacket and plopped it over the counter. The black button up shirt underneath was snug against his figure, which I knew nearly every detail of since I’d recently seen him completely naked. His choice, not mine, although I didn’t really complain. His eyes went over to the food on the table and then to me on the floor. “Did you get enough?”
I shrugged but didn’t answer. Didn’t feel like talking, really. Failure was weighing heavy on me. It’d been a really long day.
“You’re lucky there’s anything left,” Marc said. “She’s got a pit stomach.”
I was too far away to kick him. I rolled over onto my side, curling up a bit and propping my
head up on my arm. With a full stomach, my brain started churning a little better. I stared at a corner of the apartment. What was I going to say to Wil when I did find him? He left because he wanted to, without telling me. He didn’t want me to know, or didn’t trust me. The one person I’d worked so hard to take care of and he left.
I didn’t have a place to offer him to come back to. If he was staying with a friend, he was probably better off where he was. I needed to know he was safe.
Raven nudged my thigh with the toe of his boot. “You tired?”
“Mmm,” I said, which was about as good a response as I could muster.
Axel walked over, knelt near me. His fingers swiped across my cheek to shove some of my hair away from my face. His fingers were still cool and wet. It was calming. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. Wasn’t it obvious? I was a crappy older sister.
“Where do you want to sleep?” he asked, quieter but still with that severe undertone.
“Not sure if I can,” I said.
“You will,” he said. “You’ll be better off for it.”
“It’s not going to make me feel any better,” I said. I was sure of that. There was no way this pit of guilt in my stomach would lift until I found Wil and found out the truth, even if Wil chose to tell me this was all my fault, like I thought it was.
“No,” Axel said. “You may not feel better, but you’ve got to start somewhere. We’ll keep you busy until Monday.”
“More roof fixing?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that. Last time didn’t go so well. I’d ended up shooting Marc with the nail gun.
“That job is done, but we may find another. Or we’ll hunt for a job for you. Whatever you want.” He removed his hand from my face and nudged my shoulder. “Do you want to get up and go to bed yourself or do you want me to carry you?”
I didn’t want to get carried off somewhere, so I sat up, letting the blood rush around for a moment before I stood. Axel kept a hand at my elbow the entire time, as patient as a rock. When I was standing, he moved his hand to my back.
“Go to sleep in my room,” Corey said. “I’m going to be up for a while. I’ve got some work to do.”
“Fine,” I said. “I just want a shower and to pass out until Monday.”
Axel stepped back and the room was quiet while I stumbled over to Corey’s room. I didn’t want to close Corey out of his own bedroom, so I left the door open a crack.
I hovered in his bedroom for a moment, checking out the chalkboard walls. Ghostly lines remained after he’d erased an entire section. What was leftover made no sense to me. Not that it mattered. I couldn’t really read any of it because it was all mathematical equations. Only Corey saw the answers, what they really meant.
How oddly comforting it was to see it again. It was like this was Corey and he was there with me even if he was in the other room. I had a warm spot for him, just like the others. Maybe it was a little different, because Corey was incredibly cute, a nerdling and within a couple of days, it was like we were friends. The strange thing was, with him I wanted to be even closer, and he never once made me feel weird about it. Too bad his brother said he was gay. It was probably a good thing because the twins were amazing and choosing between them would have been difficult.
I waved the thought off. I didn’t need to think about that right now.
Corey’s bedroom had an attached bathroom. I borrowed a pair of his boxers and one of the T-shirts he had folded in a basket near his closet. I didn’t want to have to go back out for my own clothes. In a way, I didn’t want them. It was like they belonged to a life I didn’t have any more.
I locked the bathroom door behind me, leaving Corey’s clothes on the counter. I found a towel and left it on a rack near the tub.
I ran the water and then stared at the stream for a long time, feeling so out of place. Chilled, awkward. Being naked in someone else’s bathroom always feels strange.
I showered, taking my time with the hot water. I luxuriated in how hot it could get. The hotel’s hot water was so mild in comparison, probably had the temperature gauge set pretty low. I let the water run over me until my skin was a brisk red, and then started to wash, borrowing a razor and using his shampoo.
I finished, dried and put on the boxers and the T-shirt. The boxers hung loose on my hips. I probably needed some underwear just in case they fell off at some point but it was too late now. The T-shirt’s hem hung low enough on my body that it covered my butt, anyway.
After, I hovered over the sink, trying to figure out if I wanted to use his toothbrush or just use my finger. I licked my teeth and went for using my finger. I’d already stolen his clothes and a razor—didn’t want to go too far.
I absently watched through the mirror as I was brushing, swabbing my finger back and forth against my teeth.
I bent down to take in some water, swish and spit. I took in some more water to spit again.
When I came back up, the mirror revealed cerulean eyes staring back at me, making me startle. At first, I assumed it was Corey because they looked so much alike, and this was Corey’s bedroom, but it was Brandon. He was in the same clothes and there were those sad eyes that confirmed it.
“Ugh. Brandon,” I said, squealing his name, backing up a step, nearly bumping into him. It wasn’t so much he was there, more that I didn’t hear him at all. Didn’t I lock the door? Or did I not do it right? He thought it was okay to come in?
“Sorry,” he said.
I huffed and rinsed off my finger and my mouth, drying it on my towel. “What are you doing? It couldn’t wait?”
“I wanted to catch you before you went to sleep,” he said.
“So you just walk in? I could have been naked,” I said, turning to face him.
He tilted his head down to look at me. “You weren’t.”
I grunted. Men. Their logic is out in la-la land. If you understand it, you’re as crazy as they are. “What do you need?”
He looked at me for the longest time and the silence that fell between us was heavy. I wondered if anyone else knew he was in here. When I glanced at the door, it was closed, and locked. He didn’t want anyone interrupting us.
Uh oh. Relationship talk.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come out to you,” he said quietly. “I mean out to the hotel to get you. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want to. Marc told us what to do, and I thought it would be better to get started...”
“It’s no big deal,” I said. I didn’t fault any of them for not coming out when I called. I was warmed by the idea that he, his brother, and the others started helping the moment I’d said something. Corey and Brandon were doing stuff here, computer things I couldn’t do, or going door to door looking for him like Axel. I had to be grateful. No one else would have done it for us. I paused, considering what I said. “No, I mean...thank you for doing what you could.”
“If you can think of something else,” he said, “I’ll do it.” He stepped forward slowly and then placed his palms on my shoulders. Those sad eyes bore into me, making me squirm in ways I wasn’t prepared for. “If you feel better knocking door to door, or checking every damn hospital and police station until we can find him, I’ll go with you.”
I breathed in slowly, letting my eyes drift to his shoulder. “No, we were right before. I don’t want to scare him off.”
He massaged my shoulders. He was quiet, waiting for something else, for a word from me. It was like he expected me to be upset with him and I wasn’t. I was worried about Wil, and I was angry at Jack. The guys, Brandon and the others, had done nothing but help and there was no way I could be angry about that.
Brandon continued to study me. “Tell me what I can do for you.”
My insides lit up with warning. This was deeper than making sure I was okay. I told myself to get it together, that I didn’t need this complication. Now that I’d shown I was okay with him being in the bathroom with me, and I was willing to talk to him, he was using the moment to test
me.
The fact that he was trying was chipping away at my heart, looking for a way in, made it work. Effort was a big deal to me. When he said things like that, it made me forget why I was pushing him away in the first place. “I just need to distract myself until Monday,” I said.
He drew me in closer, slowly. His palm traced up my cheek until I was forced to focus on his face. Those blue eyes darkened. “I keep my promises, you know. All of them. I’ll find him. I want to make sure you’re okay, too. Not just with this. Stay here, if you want. Wherever you’re comfortable.”
I stared back at him, not saying one way or another what I was thinking. I kept my arms folded over my stomach. I wasn’t going to reach out for him, but I wasn’t pushing away, either, which was killing me. This wasn’t the time for this, but I couldn’t help it. His promises provided a cushion of comfort when I didn’t think I’d ever feel comfortable again. I was alone, and he was telling me I wasn’t. I wanted to believe it.
“I meant what I said before,” he whispered. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten.” He leaned closer, as if testing me. It was strange because usually when you give boys the silent treatment, they pull away. Brandon was testing the boundaries, breaking through and discovering I didn’t stop him, making him push further.
Still, I couldn’t get myself to respond to him like I wanted, or thought I wanted. My head was telling me to tell him off, that there was something I wasn’t supposed to do with him, but the longer he lingered, the harder it was to remember why.
Slowly, he inched closer until I was nose to nose with him and he stopped.
“Tell me no if you don’t want to,” he said softly.
God help me, but I did want it. Instinct took over and I closed the gap between our lips, not liking the waiting.
He was still for a long time, pressing his lips to mine in a slow, closed-mouth kiss.
This kiss was different than the one we’d shared before. That had been desperate. This was something else. Reassurance. We were in this together.
I unfolded, and when he bent over more to get closer, my arms went up around his neck.