“Sure, it is.” Benji patted my arm. “It’s interesting.”
“We have to climb down, and we have to explore. We can’t give up now.” Addison sounded like she was trying to convince herself.
“No one said anything about giving up.” Thomas took a seat a small way down the wall. “But we do need to reassess whether we all go. We have no idea what this journey is going to involve.”
“And we knew anything more before we climbed the wall?’ Addison removed her jacket. “Nothing has changed. Nothing. What did we want to find? A giant military base? We all knew we weren’t going to find rainbows and unicorns over here.”
Isin laughed. “You have a delightful imagination. First cockroaches and now rainbows and unicorns.”
“I think I’d use the term twisted. Not delightful,” I teased.
“Why did you leave her?” Isin took a seat on the wall next to Thomas. “Or rather how? If you had a beautiful woman, why leave her?”
“Because I was needed. Because it was the right thing to do.” Yet it had been a mistake. Suddenly getting back to Kayla seemed insurmountable.
“There is no right thing to do anymore.” Thomas pulled his long legs up to sit cross-legged. It was a gutsy thing to do considering how small our perch was. “That’s the truth of the matter. No matter how urgent and important something is, it may actually be of little consequence. But that changes nothing. We still have to follow our instincts. I’d rather die trying to make a difference than spend the rest of my life suffering in the shadows or being forced to be part of a system I abhor.”
“I feel the same way.” Addison retied her hair. “Exactly the same way.”
“Then let’s do this.” I pushed away my regretful thoughts. They weren’t going to help anything. “Let’s jump off this wall and get down to business.”
“I’m not sure jumping off is the best idea,” Isin stood up.
“I didn’t mean literally.” This time I was the one with the improper word choice.
“Sure, you didn’t.” Benji winked.
We went to work on the ropes again and repelled our way down the wall. Once again, I expected trouble the second our backs were turned. But there was nothing. Nothing but a near-deafening silence.
Before long our boots were in the dirt below.
“It wasn’t an illusion.” Addison put a hand over her mouth and nose.
I didn’t blame her. The stench was almost unbearable.
I held my breath as I examined the closest corpse. It was mostly bones, with just the smallest amount of flesh clinging to them.
“These weren’t soldiers.” Arnold, another of the men, joined me. “These were civilians. You can tell by the clothes.”
“And they died well before the soldiers on the other side,” Benji added.
“Yes. Much earlier. So, couldn’t have been the same switch,” Thomas spoke so quietly, I wondered if he was talking to himself.
“Technically it could be the same switch, but it was activated earlier,” Isin pointed out.
“Weeks earlier.” Arnold studied the rotting corpse before standing and walking over to another one. “And I don’t see any sign of a wound. These people weren’t shot. Could have been poison though.”
“Were you a medic?” Addison asked.
“I am a medic now. I was a forensic scientist.”
“Oh. So, you studied crimes?” She stepped back from the corpses. I didn’t blame her.
“Yes. And my specialty was dealing with murder.”
“I’m sure that was a rewarding job.” I let the words fall. He could interpret them any way he wanted.
Arnold laughed. “I suppose it was in its own way.”
“Did you work for Central?” It didn’t matter. Nothing from our pasts mattered, yet I still asked. Somehow, I wanted to know more about these men we were risking our lives with.
He studied the clothing, looking at it from all angles. “In the end yes.”
“Until they asked you to do something that was too much.” I remembered my own moment of snapping. Of realizing I had my limits.
“Yes. It was a child… and I knew the death wasn’t accidental.”
I hated Central with everything I had in me. We would find a way to bring them down. “We all have our tipping point.”
“Yes, we do. That’s just part of life.”
A large, grey vulture swooped down right over us and landed on one of the corpses. It took a look at the bones and took off again. Not enough there to warrant its attention.
“Even the scavengers are abandoning this area.” I pointed to the departing bird.
“There have to be people somewhere.” Addison turned all around in a circle. “I mean people who are alive.”
I wondered if she was thinking about Denver. Was he alive somewhere? He was the most resourceful person I knew. I knew he wouldn’t go down without a fight, yet he wasn’t immortal.
“We should have enough supplies to last us for a few weeks. After that we will have to reassess.” Benji adjusted a sack on his back.
“Hopefully this doesn’t take a few weeks.” Addison put her jacket on.
“Hopefully we aren’t dead within a few hours. We all know that is a real possibility.” Thomas started off across the dirt.
Benji followed right behind. More of the men followed them. “When isn’t death a possibility? Even in the old days, before the changes, people had to worry about death. Death has always been just a part of life.”
“But it’s really part of our life now.” Isin shrugged.
“It is our life now.” Addison shivered before hurrying after them.
I followed, trying to ignore the words about death. For much of my life death didn’t scare me, but it did now. I needed to get back to Kayla, and I would. Even if it was the last thing I ever did.
Fourteen
Faith
The manor house didn’t look all that different. Sure, there were flowers and more lanterns than usual, but otherwise, it was the same place. It was a lot like me. Someone could put a dress on me and pretty up my hair, but that didn’t make me any sort of princess. I was still the same girl. The large room at the manor house was still the same stale meeting place it had always been. It still represented so much I hated and so much I would never have.
I took a few deep breaths as we walked further into the room.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Bailey cooed beside me. Her eyes were wide as she took in the same walls that I did. I wondered, not for the first time, how two people could see the world in such different ways. But this was extreme even for her. I gave her a sidelong glance. She may have been prone to wearing rose-colored glasses, but usually she could still manage to see the truth in things. All her logic was clouded over though when a ball or romance was so much as mentioned.
I sighed. There was nothing I could do to stop her. Bailey was probably about to make a huge mistake, but it was hers to make. We are all entitled to make our own choices. At least we should have been. “Sure. Beautiful.”
“You could lay off the sarcasm a little bit you know. Maybe just for today?” She ran her teeth over her bottom lip, and I realized she was nervous.
“Who says I am being sarcastic?”
“Faith, really?” Bailey slipped her arm through mine. “You act as though I don’t know you.”
And she did know me. Better than anyone. Sometimes I questioned whether she knew me better than myself. It was easier to pretend with myself than it was with Bailey. She saw straight through me, right down into my soul.
“Over there. Look,” she whispered.
I followed her line of sight to see a group of young men talking in the corner. They were each dressed in dark suits with dark shoes. And they were all watching us.
I did my best to hide my discomfort. What did I care if they were looking at us? I’d spent my whole life under a figurative microscope. “Yes. I see them.”
She nudged me with her shoulder. “Aren’t they handsom
e?”
“As in the whole group, or one in particular?” I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. My curiosity and nerves got the best of me.
“I like the one with the black hair.”
“There are two with black hair.”
“The one with the red tie.”
I looked at him closer. “He’s not awful to look at.”
She elbowed me. Hard. “Stop that.”
“What? I’m being truthful.”
“You have to pick one of his friends. Remember the plan.”
“Yes. The plan.” Her plan. The plan I’d never agreed to.
“Really, I can even pick for you. It won’t be hard.”
“It sounds like you are discussing what clothes to wear. Or what food to eat.”
“Isn’t it pretty much the same thing?”
I gasped before I could stop myself.
She laughed. “I only mean the choices we make are all about preference. Just as this is.”
“But it’s a much more far-reaching decision.” At least it should have been.
“Yes, but then again if I pick the wrong food—let’s say spoilt meat— and die, that’s a far-reaching decision too.”
“What about the wrong clothes?”
“Well, if you wear a summer dress in the dead of winter and no coat…”
“Okay. That’s enough. Next thing I know you will be waxing poetic about the importance of the way you get out of bed in the morning.”
“On the right side, of course.”
“Is that a pun? As in any side is the right side?”
She didn’t get a chance to answer.
“My favorite sisters.” Mimi pushed between us, separating our arms, and linking hers with ours instead.
“You mean cousins.” I was well aware that she knew this fact; she simply liked annoying us.
“You look like sisters. I call you sisters.”
“Can we help you with anything?” Bailey asked in a much softer tone than I’d just used.
“This is going to be easier if us girls stick together.” She pulled us closer with her arms. “We should remain a team.”
Bailey and I were already sticking together. But I didn’t say that. “Meaning what exactly?” I looked into her grey eyes, searching for her motivation. Was it fear? Was she somehow trying to hurt our chances—which really meant hurting Bailey since I didn’t care about the outcome- with the men?
“Meaning we should approach them together. Stay unified. None of them can have any of us unless we are all picked.”
“And you think that’s going to be a problem?” I untangled my arm from her. “The percentages are still way in our favor.”
“Yes, but there are always hold-outs. Those waiting for the best of the best.” She glanced over at the men then away quickly as if she didn’t want them to know she was looking.
“Then be the best of the best. Why should anyone else decide that?” It’s not that I cared whether Mimi found a match, but I hated that she thought the power should somehow be in the guys’ hands.
“Oh, Faith. Sweet, innocent Faith.” She patted my shoulder.
“I’m not sweet, and I’m not innocent.”
Bailey laughed.
“Did I say something funny?” Mimi spun to look at her.
“Yes. Yes, you did.” Bailey pulled her arm away.
Sometimes I loved Bailey so much I could barely take it.
“You two don’t get it. You don’t get anything.” She wrung her hands at her sides.
“If we are so hopeless, then why are you over here with us?” Bailey smoothed out some of my hair that must have been messed up when I detangled myself from Mimi.
“I already told you. We have to stay together. We have no choice.”
“Just admit it.” I put a hand on my hip.
“Admit what?” She raised her chin.
“You are afraid.”
“I’m not afraid.” She wrinkled her nose. “Nothing scares me.”
“Then why not go talk to the men yourselves?” I pointed in their direction. Unlike her, I didn’t care if they knew I’d been looking.
“Because we need to stick together. It’s the right way of things.”
“And what if we want to same one?” I couldn’t help it. I struggled to drop things even when it was the easier course of action. “Will we still stick together? Because it’s the right way of things?”
“Come on, Faith. Do you even want one? We all know you are only here for Bailey.”
“Then why not say that from the start?” I noticed one of the men watching me with a smirk. It was almost as if he could hear us even though there was no way considering how far away he was.
“Because you two never go anywhere without each other. You are glued to each other. I said you probably don’t want a match, but that doesn’t mean you won’t take one. You will do anything to stay with Bailey.”
“And you say it like that’s a bad thing. Like having a bond with my cousin is bad.”
“It’s not fair. You two have always had each other. I’ve never had anyone.” She brushed something nonexistent off her dress.
“And we’ve tried to keep you out?” Bailey asked. “What about all those times we asked you to join us? When we invited your company?”
“You didn’t mean it.” Mimi put a hand on her hip.
“How would you know?” I noticed the man with the smirk was still watching me.
“It doesn’t matter. The past is the past. We need to look toward the future. And the future involves us getting out of the Glen. Finally.”
“Things won’t be perfect out there either. Resettling won’t be easy.”
“But it has to be better than this. Anything has to be better than this.” Mimi spread her arms out.
“Do you remember anything of your life before?” Bailey’s voice fell to barely a whisper. “Before the Glen?”
Mimi shook her head. “No. I was way too young to remember.”
“I remember bits and pieces.” Bailey moistened her lips. I held my breath. Bailey never talked about this stuff. “I remember fear. I remember knowing that I would never be safe. I remember pain. I remember my mother. And I choose to focus on that final thing—on memories of my mother—because to focus on anything else hurts too much.”
“Yet you are the one who wants to get out of here more than anything.”
“Because I need to believe there is something more. That our lives have more meaning than this.”
“I understand.” And I did. I understood more than I’d ever understood anything before.
Fifteen
Mason
We walked for hours. None of us had any real idea of where we were going, but moving forward seemed like the only answer. Turning around would bring us right back to where we started—with no chance for a future.
The dirt was more like sand now. A never-ending desert with no shelter in sight. The sun beat down on us mercilessly.
“Had I known where we were going I would dressed for it.” Isin wiped sweat off his brow.
“Oh. You do have a sense of humor.” Addison’s lips twisted into a faint smile.
He moved a little closer to her as he continued to walk. “You say that as if you are surprised.”
“I am.”
“Why?”
“I just didn’t think you had that kind of sense of humor. That’s all.”
“Well, I do.” He raised his chin.
“Good to know.” She smiled wider.
He glanced over at her. “Why are you out here?”
“Uh, the same reason you are. To find out what’s really going on over on this side of the wall.”
“I know that. I mean why are you out here in the first place? Why didn’t you stay back?”
I could have answered that question, but it wasn’t my place to answer for her.
“Oh.” Addison paused. “Because I couldn’t sit back. Because I had to see things for myself. My whole life I’ve ha
d to sit back and let men make the decisions for me. I’m done with that.”
“I hear you.” Isin nodded. “I mean I can’t relate exactly, but I understand.”
“I knew what you meant.” Addison dug the toe of her boot into the sand as she continued forward.
Isin kept pace at her side. “Where were you before…?”
“A camp.” She was keeping her answers short. To the point. Maybe she didn’t want to share more than she had to. I knew that feeling.
“And before that?” His voice was gentle, but he didn’t hide his curiosity.
“A club.” She looked away, off into the distance.
Isin looked at me. “Was it your club?”
I nodded. “Not sure how you guessed…”
“The way you are protective of her, I guess.”
I nodded. That made sense.
Addison turned back to look at Isin. “He saved me from a far worse life.”
Isin’s face fell. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“That you’ve had to live in this world.” He put his hands into his pockets.
“We’ve all had to live in this world,” Addison whispered. “None of us deserve this.”
“Yeah, but it’s worse for you.”
“Does that really matter?” She wrapped her arms over her chest. “Does one’s suffering have to be compared to another?”
This was atypically analytical for Addison, and I needed to stop her from going into some depressive spiral. “Are we sure we’re going to find anyone?” I didn’t want to complain or hurt anyone’s spirit, but I was sure everyone was feeling that way.
Thomas rubbed the back of his neck. “No. It’s entirely possible they are all dead.”
“Because that’s not depressing…” Addison trailed off.
“It is depressing; this whole thing is depressing.” Thomas pressed forward.
We all followed. I gave him a few moments with himself before I caught up to walk beside him. “At what point do we call it quits and turn around?”
“Call it quits?” Thomas looked over at me. “Do you have any other ideas aside from this one?”
Conflicted (The Corded Saga Book 3) Page 7