The only man to give Sam a second chance at a career Sam loved was on the other end of this call. So, if Bill was calling and asking for extra work, Sam sure as hell was going to deliver on every single thing his boss asked. And he was going to go above and beyond because this would be the best design he’d ever come up with.
Sam smiled as he turned away from the window and headed to the pantry. “I work for you, remember? This is your company.”
“That may be, but you owned a company that was a huge success and I’m damn lucky you came to work for me. So I figure treating you like an equal is the best way to get you to stay here.”
Sam chuckled as he pulled out a box of pasta. “Considering I need this job and you saved my ass, I’m certainly not going anywhere. So what’s up with the project? Wait, you said redesign.” Sam set the box of pasta on the island and gripped the phone. “Murray changed his mind again, didn’t he?”
“Afraid so,” Bill stated with a weary tone. “He has decided to expand his initial building and wants to know how we can add an extra twelve hundred square feet.”
The blueprints of the new country club in Stonerock ran through Sam’s head. The idea of having to start over on this project made him cringe, but at the same time this was job security and Sam would do whatever it took to please the client.
Besides, this was also one of the best forms of therapy for him—using his mind to create something, then building it from scratch. The process was always grueling and time-consuming, but he wouldn’t change it for anything because the end result was always rewarding.
“I’ll get right on it,” Sam promised.
“I hesitated to call, but I figured you would want to be the man in charge.”
Sam couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride at the confidence his boss had in him. Not long ago Sam had his own construction outfit, but of course that was another thing he’d ruined on his long path of destruction. The pills had hindered his mind on days and there had been projects he’d fallen behind on, others he’d forgotten completely. The snowball effect kept going until he’d hit the bottom.
Addiction stretched wide and enveloped so many people in its nasty web of lies, deceit and heartache. When he had gotten out of rehab and was trying to piece his life back together, Bill had been the only one who had seen the potential in Sam...the potential to regain the life he’d once had.
So Sam was sure as hell going to do everything he could to make Bill proud and pleased that he had hired him. If that meant working extra hours on vacation, then so be it. Because everything intertwined together...his work spilled over into his family and vice versa.
So when he was successful in one, he would certainly be successful in the other.
“How soon does he want to see the new plans?” Sam asked.
“Believe it or not, he is flexible on that. He wants the design to be perfect before we proceed. But I would like to give him something within the next two weeks if possible.”
Sam was already configuring the new layout and calculating how long it would take him to come up with something to show.
“Can you send me more specifics on what he wants the new space for and if he has any particular dimensions? Will this area need a door, windows? Why am I telling you this? You know what to send me.”
“I do.” Bill let out a chuckle. “And I’ll get right on the specs and get those to you. I wanted to talk to you over the phone instead of emailing to make sure you were on board. I didn’t want this to be too much on your plate.”
The front door to the beach house opened and closed followed by the giggling laughter of his daughter sliding on the floor with her new dog. The sounds were literally music to his ears.
A thick burn welled up in his throat as he heard those little noises that had once meant everything to him. There were so many things he’d taken for granted with his family, and every part of him wanted that life back. Not what he’d had...but something even better because he knew the potential was there.
Which meant he was going to have to work hard to provide for his family and show them he was a new man.
“Yes, I can have that done within two weeks.”
Tara came to stand on the other side of the island. She had pulled her hair up to stop it from blowing in the wind but the shorter back half had already fallen against her neck. He had an urge to swipe those strands away from her tanned skin. Instead, he gripped the phone as he met her gaze.
“Thanks for calling. I’ll be in touch.”
He disconnected and went about making dinner without answering the question in Tara’s eyes. They hadn’t talked much about their personal lives since they had been separated. He knew she wasn’t dating and he sure as hell had no interest in another woman. But they hadn’t even discussed jobs or what was going on in general, other than to talk about Marley. Even then, they’d tended to text.
Yes, they should’ve been discussing more. The fact he wanted her back was reason enough for him to be more open, but he’d been giving her space...and he’d been terrified she’d reject him.
Living together was slowly changing how they communicated and Sam found that he wanted to get to know his wife all over again. If that meant they had to start from the very beginning, then he was willing to put in the time.
If he’d learned anything from therapy sessions, it was that repairing his relationships wouldn’t be easy and it wouldn’t be quick. He’d simply have to be patient and willing to fight for everything he wanted.
Sam met Tara’s questioning gaze with a smile and turned to start dinner. He couldn’t think of anyone else he’d take this much time and effort with, but Tara was worth the wait. She was worth absolutely everything.
Chapter Twelve
“Can we have a family game night?” Marley asked.
Tara stretched her legs out on the sofa and clutched the throw pillow on her lap. Family game night had been such a staple in their house when Sam lived with them before his addiction. Even during his addiction, when he had good days they still managed to make family night a priority.
Across the room, Sam met her gaze over Marley’s head. He offered her the signature smile, the same one he had given her in the kitchen after the phone call with his boss.
That smile frightened her in ways she couldn’t fully comprehend. He looked as if his entire world was perfectly okay, like there was hope for something she had no clue about.
Or was he keeping a secret? His phone calls weren’t any of her business, but it had seemed that as soon as she’d come into the room he was in a hurry to hang up.
No. She was getting caught up in the fear she’d had in the past when he’d started sneaking away for his pills. That wasn’t Sam now. She knew he was clean. Besides, she didn’t have to know everyone he talked to. It wasn’t like they were at the point of sharing everything, and he had a life without her.
Okay, that had been painful to admit to herself. But the truth often hurt.
“I didn’t pack any games.”
Tara pushed aside her swirling thoughts as she focused on Marley. Staring at Sam would only create another layer of worry and tingles...definitely not the best combo.
“I did.” Sam jumped to his feet and turned from the living room. “I even packed your favorites, Marmaid.”
Marley squealed and clapped her hands, causing Daisy to jump up and bark. Sam headed out and moments later returned with three board games. Tara couldn’t help but be touched at his gesture; she’d had no idea he had packed those. Once again, he was thinking ahead and putting their needs first—no matter how minor.
“Which one are we starting with?” Sam asked as he laid the games on the coffee table.
Sam settled onto the floor beside Marley and Daisy. Tara watched as they figured out which game they would play, and then she slid from the sofa to the floor, resting against the cushions.
It wasn’t long before they fell into the easy routine of playing games, with Sam cheating as he always did—though he was never subtle about it and always thought his tactics would go unnoticed or he could charm his way out of being called out.
“You can’t land on red and pick up the blue card,” Tara scolded. “You are not going to win, Sam. So you might as well give up.”
Sam reached across the table for the blue card and waved it in the air. “I will never admit defeat.”
Tara fully expected Marley to laugh as she always did but one glance at her daughter and Tara quickly realized something was wrong.
“What is it?” Tara asked as she scooted around the table. Her daughter’s eyes were wide, staring straight ahead but not appearing to fully focus on one thing. “Marley?”
Sam quickly was at the other side of his daughter. “Honey?”
Marley continued to stare at the table, but she wasn’t blinking. The silence frightened Tara more than she wanted to admit. Marley reached up and rubbed her head, then closed her eyes.
“We haven’t played a game in a long time,” Marley whispered, then turned her attention to Tara. “Have we?”
Tara immediately glanced to Sam. His eyes were locked onto hers, and she knew the worry on her face mirrored what was on his.
“What makes you say that?” Sam asked.
Marley shrugged her shoulders and looked to the game. “I thought this would be fun, but when I see these games, I just feel...”
Tara settled her hand on her daughter’s leg. “What?”
Marley’s blue eyes once again came up to meet hers. “Sad.”
Tara ignored the lump of guilt and the sting of tears.
“We don’t have to play.” Sam started gathering up the pieces and putting them in the box. “It’s getting late anyway.”
Marley leaned against Tara’s chest and Tara wrapped her arms around her little girl. Every part of Tara wanted to open up and reveal the truth to Marley, but she had to trust the doctor’s word and pray they were heading on the right path.
“Why don’t I read you a story before bed?” Tara asked. “I brought your favorite mermaid book.”
Marley nodded and stood. She threw her arms around Sam and said, “Sorry, Daddy.”
Sam closed his eyes as he held their daughter tight. “Nothing to be sorry about, my sweet girl. I love you.”
Tara blinked away the moisture that suddenly surged in her eyes. When Marley headed for the hall, Daisy obediently followed.
While Marley changed into her nightgown, Tara grabbed the book and settled on the edge of the bed. Daisy curled up right beneath Tara’s feet. That dog could be a bit much at times, but she’d settled so easily in with the family and—
The family.
This is why she couldn’t get involved emotionally with Sam again. They’d been living together for less than a week and already she was mentally referring to the three of them as a family.
“I’m really sorry, Mom.” Marley climbed into bed, clutching her mermaid. “Are you upset?”
“I’m not upset.”
“You’re crying.”
Children missed nothing. She willed her emotions to pause until she could get to the privacy of the bathroom.
“I’m sad that there are things you can’t remember,” Tara corrected her. “But I’m not upset with you at all. I’m sorry you didn’t have good memories about the games.”
“Why haven’t we played them?” Marley asked, crawling under the covers and resting her head on her pillow.
Tara pulled in a deep breath and opted for as much of the truth as she could. “Your daddy has had to be away quite a bit over the last year and we haven’t had the time.”
Tara didn’t want to get into the details. Instead, she cracked open Marley’s favorite book and began to read the tale of the mermaid who fought to save her family from an evil octopus.
In a short time, Marley’s eyes drifted shut and her breathing slowed. Tara closed the book as she watched her daughter sleeping peacefully, hating every part of this struggle while she and Sam knew the truth.
She wondered if this was how Sam had felt when he was hiding the truth from them so many months ago. Had he felt guilt while he’d been under the influence or had that not come until later? There was no doubt in her mind that he’d been consumed with guilt once he’d come back to his right mind.
Knowing Sam, he would beat himself up over this for the rest of his life. But she just couldn’t let him in, no matter how well he seemed to be doing now and how much he worked for their family—there were just some injuries that could not be repaired.
Actually, she had repaired it as best she could with a steel plate. There was no other way she could have moved on. The need to let him in grew more and more with each passing day, but in the long run, that could be detrimental to him.
She worried he’d use her as a crutch again and because she still loved him, she might let him and not even realize. Being a therapist and living out advice she’d give to others was so difficult. She truly believed people could and did change. She believed everyone had good inside of them. But...she was scared.
Tara sat the book on the bedside table, quietly tiptoed from her daughter’s room and closed the door. She padded down the hall to the master suite but didn’t see Sam.
The soft glow from the living room lamp filtered up through the hallway and spilled into the room. Silence had fallen over the house, unless she counted the heavy thump of her heart. The sound of crashing waves outside calmed her somewhat.
Here she and Sam were. Another night with so many unknowns, and she was exhausted. How long could she keep this up? The tension, the awkwardness, the fears. Between the lies to her daughter and her emotions for her husband, she didn’t know how much more she could take. For now, though, she reminded herself that this was all temporary and it likely wouldn’t be long before she and Sam went their separate ways once again.
With a weary sigh, Tara padded over to the bed and sank onto the edge. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and she dropped her head into her hands.
She couldn’t break, not now. Maybe once Sam fell asleep she could sneak onto the balcony and take in the still of the night and the peaceful breeze combined with the gentle roll of the tide.
The soft snick of the bathroom door drew her attention. She glanced over her shoulder to see Sam standing there, steam billowing around him as he remained on display wearing only a towel and ink.
“I thought you would take longer,” Sam stated as he walked to his suitcase. Again, he seemed to not have a care in the world and acted like all this was perfectly normal.
Even though Tara had seen his body multiple times, that didn’t stop her from appreciating him now. As he shifted, she zeroed in on the one mystery that had been stirring up too many questions.
“New tattoo?” she asked before she could prevent herself from speaking.
Sam cast her a sideways glance and nodded. He offered no further explanation and Tara wanted to inch closer to see what he had.
He grabbed a pair of boxer briefs and slipped them on under the towel, letting the material drop to the floor.
Tara’s breath caught in her throat. She wasn’t sure what was worse—the towel barely secured with a knot or the body-hugging boxers. Either way she was offered a delicious sight of his bare chest and firm thighs. The tattoos on his chest she was quite familiar with. They ran across his chest, across his shoulders and down to his biceps. Every tattoo he had told a story. Which made her wonder exactly why he’d gotten that new one. Because the more she studied it, the more she realized it was a door. Just that. An open door with some shading and other details she couldn’t make out without getting too close.
“You look exhausted,” Sam told her as he remained across the room.
Tara smoothed her hair away from h
er face and laughed. “I am exhausted. Thanks for pointing it out.”
Sam shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant you look like you’re ready to fall over, so why don’t you get into bed?”
Tara’s eyes went to the bed, then to her husband.
“We are both adults, Tara. I think we can be next to each other and sleep, don’t you?”
No doubt she could lie in bed with her husband, but sleeping would be a whole different matter. Tara went to her own suitcase and pulled out her nightgown...the ugly old cotton one he’d always hated. No way had she thought of packing anything remotely sexy or revealing.
The hideous gown had a hole in the hem and the image of a hippo on the front. Sam had taken Marley Christmas shopping their first year together and that was what Marley had chosen. So, with Sam gone, Tara had chosen to wear this gown to pieces.
She clutched the material against her chest as she turned toward the bathroom to wash up and change. Sam never moved, but his eyes remained on her. The intensity of his gaze felt like a caress when he looked at her.
She wasn’t naive and she was extremely familiar with every single one of those looks. He wanted her and he wasn’t trying to hide it.
Tara stilled, wondering if he was going to say anything. He simply remained by the bed, his hands propped on his narrow hips, as if waiting for her to make a move.
At this point there was nothing more she wanted than to be comforted. To lose herself in a few moments of passion. But was that smart? What impact would intimacy have in the long run of this relationship? Because even though they were getting a divorce, they still had a relationship.
Pulling in a deep breath, Tara walked into the master bathroom and closed the door. She sat her nightgown on the edge of the vanity and rested her palms on the edge. Dropping her head, Tara let tears fill her eyes.
In moments, she was going to be curled up next to her husband. She wouldn’t sleep. She’d lie there and analyze each and every one of her feelings. Come sunup she probably still wouldn’t be any closer to figuring out how the hell to keep him at a good emotional distance.
For Their Child's Sake Page 10